Parents made great sacrifices: they pursued a better future, but they were abandoned by the city and modern society
I am Aunt Xu, born in 1959, and I am about to celebrate my 65th birthday. After retiring, my husband and I lived a quiet life in the county. We try our best to provide better resources for our son and hope that he will have a better future.
My son did well and chose to work in Shanghai after graduation. He found a Shanghai girlfriend, and after getting married, they welcomed a lovely granddaughter. Since my son and daughter-in-law were planning to travel the world, they asked us to go to Shanghai to help take care of their grandchildren. Although we were reluctant, we finally agreed to this request.
However, in the process of getting along with our daughter-in-law in Shanghai, we found that there were all kinds of contradictions and misunderstandings between us. We gradually feel excluded and isolated, and even face discrimination from society. Eventually, we realized that our generation sent their children to big cities and urbanites, where they were wronged but couldn't be understood. This pain weighs heavily on us.
In order to provide our son with better living conditions, we decided to help him buy a property in Shanghai. This is our sacrifice and effort to bring them more convenience and stability. However, life after becoming a full-time nanny is not as good as it could be.
After this painful journey, I began to think about the issues of grief and belonging that this generation faces. We do everything we can to raise our children and provide them with better resources, only to end up being placed in a position that is not understood and recognized in the city and in the modern social system.
Aunt Xu and her husband have made great efforts and sacrifices for the sake of their children, but in exchange for the pain of rejection and isolation. This made me deeply reflect on the meaning and value of life, and whether I should also return to my heart behind the pursuit of material life and find my true sense of belonging.
For parents like me who have given everything for the next generation, it may be necessary to re-examine whether the love and expectations placed on them are valued and reciprocated. Perhaps more attention and understanding is needed to reduce the pain and heaviness of misunderstandings.
When I was 65 years old, I learned that my graduate son, whom I had worked hard to raise all my life, had been given to Shanghainese. In any case, in the face of reality, you can still gain some understanding and bravely face the sadness and confusion hidden in your heart.