"I have given birth to two children, why don't I dare to have a third child?"

01

I was talking to a friend about having a baby, and she asked me: Will you have a third child?

I hurriedly called "!" and told her categorically: I will never have a third child, and I can guarantee this.

"You have two children, why don't you dare to have a third child? Isn't having three more children than now?"

She said it very easily, probably because she herself has not given birth, she has not experienced what kind of difficult process it is to have a child and raise a child, if she has her own experience of giving birth to a baby and raising a baby, it is likely that she will not even dare to give birth to a second child.

Ordinary people who have a second child are already thinking about it, weighing the pros and cons, and doing their best, how dare they have a third child?

Regarding the topic of the third child, I have really discussed it with my husband.

I asked my husband, is it because of money? If you are given 1 million, do you dare to have three children?

He said: "What is wrong with these 1 million yuan, how can you just have children? Why don't you spend this 1 million on two children, you can also make yourself a little easier, and have three children, that is really to find guilt for yourself." Two children is enough, three children, maybe it's a bit much. ”

I sometimes wonder, is it the problem of money that makes everyone afraid to have three children?

Actually, it's not entirely when you think about it. Money is of course a big part of the reason, after all, now in the city, the cost of living with raising children is high, and the pressure is really high.

But the most crucial reason is that we are so afraid that we will not have our own life, and our life should not only be about having children and raising children, but also about having a life that truly belongs to us. I finally raised two children, sent them to kindergarten and elementary school, and everything was on track, but if I went through the previous path again at this time, I really felt a little broken.

I was at a friend's house last night and showed her a picture of me eight years ago, and I miss myself so much. Eight years ago, I was alone, unmarried and had no children, I was very chic and free, and I could go wherever I wanted. I wanted to travel, so I left with my bag on my back, and I didn't plan where I was going, just where I went, completely according to my heart.

Now me, do you dare?

Now I have a lot of time to be on my own.

After both children went to school, my life was still very busy, and the alarm clock went off at 7:10 a.m. on weekdays, and I got up for a few minutes and then got up on my bones. I kissed the girl next to me and called her "Little girl, it's going to school, get up quickly". She began to stretch, I got out of bed and walked to my son's room, yelling, "Get up quickly, I'm going to be late." Dad, get your son out of bed.

Life in the morning is like a war, urging left and right, finally let the two little ancestors get up, hurriedly eat breakfast, finally go downstairs, my sister sat in front of the electric car, my brother sat in the back seat, I twisted the accelerator, and rushed towards their school.

After sending one, and another, I didn't get home until 8:20 a.m. that I could sit down and have breakfast.

It's also because my sister is in kindergarten now that I can relax a little, and I finally don't have to take the baby, and I really can't think about it. At noon, my sister didn't have to pick it up, but she had to be busy picking up my brother. Then after 4:10 p.m., I had to ride an electric car to pick up the two babies and go home. In the evening, I have to help my brother with his homework, take care of the two children's meals, bathe, play, quarrel, and so on. I feel like I'm already busy.

The weekdays are a little easier, because at least after they're gone, I'm pretty quiet at home writing alone. If it's a day off, it's more tiring than a working day, and his dad and I have time to do our homework, play with, and take it outdoors.

My husband and I are bringing two babies by ourselves, and we haven't lived our own lives for a long time, and we are with two babies everywhere.

It's not that having a child is bad, of course there is a lot of joy in the process of raising children, it's just that the life we want to give ourselves, in addition to children, there is one thing that belongs to us.

02

Actually, my daughter is really an angel baby.

Before I gave birth to a second child, I was very scared, I was afraid that the second pension would be like a pensioner, but I didn't. I don't know if it's because the second time I have experience with a baby, the second treasure is much easier to bring than the big treasure. When Dabao was a child, because of his allergic constitution, my child's father and I often went to the hospital, and when he had a high fever of 40 degrees, I was very scared and extremely anxious, so I could only run to the hospital. Erbao doesn't feel this way at all, her physical fitness is much stronger than her brother, she has basically not had any illness since she was born, and she can heal herself without taking medicine for occasional cough and runny nose. Some of the problems that her brother encountered were completely absent from her.

She is very worry-free, very warm, and her mouth is very sweet.

One and a half years old I can wear shoes, before I was two years old I took her out of the house she was worried about everyone in the family, walking at a young age is not stable, when she sees me take off my shoes will put my slippers on my feet, I go home she will help me with shoes, I forgot to take something she will remind me. After going to kindergarten, she was more worry-free, she insisted on doing her own thing, and when she was just three years old, she didn't need my help to change clothes, shoes and socks, and she could solve the problem of "what to wear" in a short time. You'll also remember to stuff your bag with some of the day's extra clothes.

I complimented her, and she would say, Mom, you are so good, you are so good to me, I know that you love me.

I'll help her, and she'll say, Mom, thank you, Mom, you're so good.

I just hugged her, and she hugged me tightly and said, "Mom, I love you so much."

I didn't spend too much effort and energy raising Erbao, and to some extent, she healed me. I also asked my sister, do you still want another one? She was very smart and resolutely opposed, and clearly said: I don't want my brothers and sisters, you already have me.

My brother is not afraid of anything, even if he has the third child, it will not affect his position, he said, you have another one.

I'm not fooled.

When I was pregnant with my second child, I said that it would be good to have a daughter, God let me get my wish, I am very satisfied with my current life, I have children and daughters, but I don't want to let myself suffer three sins, I can't afford to toss.

03

There are quite a lot of second children around me, and third children will be relatively rare.

Naturally, both children will not have three children, and those with two daughters and two sons usually dare not have three children, in fact, the core is afraid that they will go through the road again. We will be afraid that our lives will be children except children, and then we will really not have ourselves. The mother of the second child may return to work, if there are three children, then the mother, won't she be tied to the family for a lifetime?

It can feel like a very scary thing.

So, what family is having three children?

I've collected some comments from readers:

Reader Wutong said: "After the three-child policy came out, my husband said that he wanted to have three children, the eldest girl is 12 years old, the son is almost 5 years old, I myself am almost 40 years old, the economic conditions of the family belong to the very good kind, we have two suites in first-tier cities, and there is no mortgage." Both of us and I work, and I feel that having another child will revolve around the child for the rest of my life, and I will not have a life of my own. But my husband wants to give birth, which will also cause me to be a little shaken. ”

Reader Li Li said: "It's good to liberalize the three-child policy, and give the choice of childbirth to the parents themselves, whether it is a dink, a child, a second child or a third child, it all depends on their own wishes." I have a neighbor who has given birth to three children, she just likes children, although it is very hard but she enjoys it, she does not go to work, and raising children is also her job. ”

Reader Xiaojie said: "The leader has five children, his wife is a teacher at Peking University, and later resigned to become a full-time wife, and the five children have drivers and nannies, in addition to the common piano culture classes, but also to learn equestrian, ice hockey, skiing and the like." Now there are indeed some very top families who have three children, and they are carefully cultivated heirs. ”

At the end of the day, it's up to you what you think.

The choice is yours, whether you want to have a life or not, it depends on what kind of life you want to live.

It's impossible for me to give birth, although my sister is very well-behaved, very easy to raise, and very warm-hearted, but just like she said, "so well-behaved, it's enough to have her, she doesn't want to have younger brothers and sisters, and she doesn't want to be the second child." If I had money, I could spend it on both of them and my husband and I wouldn't want to raise a third child again.

The main thing is that I don't have that energy.

I still want to have a little bit of my own life in addition to raising children, and we can't just revolve around children in this life.

Do you have more people around you who have three children? If you were given a million, would you have three children?

END.