When you recover, why is the other party unwilling to communicate with you, and how to guide him to communicate with you?
In fact, the other party doesn't want to communicate with you is nothing more than a few points:
Either the other party has not let go of your psychological prejudices, or the other party is not interested in your topic at all.
Otherwise, the other party is tired of you now, and he remains skeptical of anything you say, and that's why.
Would the other person refuse to talk to a stranger? No, why wouldn't a stranger refuse to talk to him?
Quite simply, because he knows that the purpose of the stranger is to chat with her, and there is no other purpose, while yours has a clear purpose.
Either you want to win him back, or you want to bring him negative emotions, then the other party will naturally not want to talk to you again.
Therefore, it is very important to unload the other party's defensiveness against you.
The other party's defense of you is like a city wall, as long as you break through this wall, you have the possibility of breaking through this city, if you can't even break the city wall, then maybe you can't break through the city.
01
We have to make the other party have no defense against you
Let him think that you are not communicating with him with a purpose, you have to start emphasizing a few points, emphasizing your mood, emphasizing the reason for coming to the other person, emphasizing your current attitude, emphasizing your current requirements and the results you want to achieve.
For example, you can say to the other person:
I didn't come to you for any other purpose, you must not think that I am trying to redeem you, I am not (to dispel concerns)
It's because I'm out of love now, and I need a period of calm to recover.
But for so long you have been not only my lover, but also my friend, I can only come to talk to you to soothe my mood (express the purpose)
But I don't want to have too much emotional entanglement with you anymore, I know that you don't love me anymore, then I will also take the initiative to choose to let go, this is the attitude I want to express. (Expressing attitude)
So I didn't mean to be in touch with you, and I don't want to keep in touch with you all the time, as long as you can help me through this difficult time.
First of all, I will be grateful to you, and secondly, I will also agree to all your requests, disappear into your world, disappear completely, disappear as soon as possible, is it okay?
In fact, from these few simple sentences, you will dispel the other party's concerns, and also clearly express your purpose, so that the other party is more at ease.
As long as you let the other party know your attitude, let the other party feel your sincerity, and your request is clear to the other party, and your request is reasonable, the other party will have no reason to refuse you.
At this time, as long as he doesn't hate you to the core, he will actually have a sense of empathy, and he will treat you as an ordinary netizen to communicate with you.
Because he doesn't want to cause trouble for himself, and he doesn't want you to get him back and pester him again, then in order to achieve his own goals, he will also choose to agree to your request and choose to back down.
Think about it for a moment, if something could be effortless and easy to achieve your goal, would you do it? You would definitely do it, right?
Then it's the same with him, as long as the process you make him feel:
He doesn't have to pay anything, he doesn't have to deal with any pressure, and he can achieve his goals, then he can communicate with you.
At this time, as long as the communication is opened, then the rest of the matter will be easy to do.
02
Eliminate prejudices and rationalize the root causes of contradictions
For cognitive breakups, the most important thing is to eliminate his prejudices and dissatisfaction with you, and this relationship has come so far, not that a straw crushed the relationship, but it may be a piece of straw.
Therefore, at this time, your image in the other party's mind is no different from that of a sinner, if it is not for the old love, the other party may not pay attention to you at all.
In this case, you must learn to eliminate the prejudice between the two of you, and it is best to let him look at you with a new identity, or to examine your new identity, one is that he changes, and the other is that you change.
As long as the dissatisfaction with each other in your hearts is gone, then the state of the two of you will return to a comfortable range, if this state has always been biased.
Then even if the two of you talk well, it will be difficult to get into the step of dating and meeting, because there will always be a gap between the two of you.
What should we say at this time?
There are a few things to keep in mind:
First of all, you have to change the relationship between the two of you, and then you have to guide him to know that the state of the two of you is not the same as before.
And quietly rationalize yourself, so that he can learn to understand you, understand your difficulties, and understand that your wrong behavior in the relationship has a valid reason.
Of course, if you want him to understand you, you must first learn to understand him.
You take the opportunity to raise your doubts about the past relationship, loosen the prejudice in his heart, and finally express your own opinion.
If you edit a set of words that suit you in this direction, and then express them sincerely to your ex, this will make the other party feel:
If you grasp your mistakes again, you will appear to be very stingy, and since you have let go, then he should also let go.
If this can be done, the estrangement and contradiction between the two of you will definitely be greatly reduced.
You know, after a breakup, you have to make the other party remember your good and forget your bad, which is a very, very difficult thing.
So you can only weaken your weaknesses and mention your strengths a little bit, which is the only thing we can do.
But in the process of this matter, we can accumulate little by little, and gradually convey our views and changes, don't feel that you can eat a fat man in one breath, you know, you can't eat hot tofu in a hurry.
Every time you say something, it is an opportunity to change the other person's opinion of you, so that the other party understands you more and is more tolerant of you.
If the method is used properly, maybe this quarrel of yours, this breakup, this conflict, is an opportunity to warm up your relationship even more, remember, as long as your connection is still there, the relationship is still there, everything still has a chance.