Whether the child is excellent or not, it has too much to do with the family

Dear parents, I believe you have such a doubt:

The same teacher, who teaches with the same heart, why do some of the students who teach have good grades and some have poor grades?

How do you learn with good grades?

Where is the difference in the poor grades?

In fact, the factors that affect a child's performance really do not lie in the teacher, but in the different parents and family education.

There's a good saying:

The competition between children, in the final analysis, is the competition of parents' comprehensive quality and hard work.

01

Parental disparities

There was once a survey that showed that:

Among the 100 children, only 1 child has a higher IQ than the average person, and only 1 child is mentally handicapped, and the rest of the children have similar IQs.

The influence of IQ can be ignored, and what really widens the gap between children is the environment in which they grow up.

Family is the first environment for children's growth, and parents are the biggest gap for children.

The Russian writer Maria Luganskaya said:

"Children are the shadows of their parents, and parents are the mirrors of their children. ”

Every word and deed of parents is a silent influence on their children, and even the parents' own behavior and achievements are the education of children.

A pair of mediocre parents, life is muddy, the father is addicted to mobile phones, the mother loves to play mahjong, it is difficult for them to raise a promising child.

On the contrary, a pair of excellent parents, who are quite successful in their careers, have high requirements for themselves, and discipline their children strictly, their children will not be far behind.

Parents, you have always focused on raising your children, have you ever thought about raising yourself first?

If you want your child to be excellent, you must first be excellent;

If you want to change your child, you must first change yourself.

As Dong Qing said: "What kind of person do you want your child to become, you must first become such a person." ”

Setting a positive, positive, and excellent example for their children is something that all parents should do.

02

Gaps in discipline

It's easy to raise a child, but it's hard to educate a child well.

How to manage, how to teach, how to cultivate, affect the whole body, is related to the child's life.

Suppose that a child cheats on an exam, and the parents who spoil the child will cover up, and they do not feel that the child has done wrong, but feel that the school has punished the child for making a big fuss.

Children who are doted on and connived do not admit their mistakes, do not change their mistakes, are arrogant and willful, and go to extremes.

Rousseau once said:

"Do you know what methods can be used to make your children unfortunate?

This method is to be obedient to him. ”

Doting is harm, connivance is harm, if you don't educate your child, someone will always educate him fiercely for you!

Strict parents will beat and scold their children, they hate iron but not steel, and vent their anger by beating and scolding their children.

But doing so will only hurt the child, not solve the problem, let alone education.

As Mr. Lu Xun said:

"All day long, he was scolded coldly, and even pounced, so that he was afraid to retreat, like a slave, but his parents called him 'obedient', and when he was let outside, he would never fly or jump like a small bird temporarily out of the cage. ”

Parents can be strict, but not strict, and discipline must be mastered.

Good discipline must be a combination of leniency and severity, with clear rewards and punishments;

Good parents must be disciplined and sympathetic.

03

Gaps in cultivating habits

Family education is very important, but many parents don't pay attention to it.

They do everything possible to cultivate children's foreign language, computer, music and art skills, but they don't know that the most important thing in family education is to cultivate habits.

Good habits are the capital that children have saved, and they will continue to increase in value, so that children can enjoy their interest for a lifetime.

Good habits are also the best gift parents can give their children.

"National Talented Girl" Wu Yishu was admitted to Tsinghua University with high scores, which is inseparable from the teaching of her parents all the way.

Her father turned off his mobile phone after 4:30 p.m. every day and concentrated on reading with her;

Her mother quit mahjong when she was very young and did not disturb her studies.

Under the influence of her parents, Wu Yishu has loved reading and learning since she was a child, and has never been addicted to entertainment games.

Yang Chenyu, the champion of Guangxi's 2019 college entrance examination, has a mother who attaches great importance to habit cultivation.

When he first started school, his mother supervised him to study consciously every day and cultivated his study habits by hand.

It is precisely because he has developed good habits since he was a child that Yang Chenyu's achievements have been steady and steady, and he has always been among the best.

Aristotle said:

"People are shaped by habits, and excellent results come from good habits, not temporary actions. ”

Habits begin with parents, and they begin at home.

Far-sighted parents know how to cultivate good habits in their children from an early age and give them the ability to learn independently.

04

Gaps in family atmosphere

There is a sentence in "Xunzi Persuasion": "Pengsheng hemp is in the middle of the linen, and it is straight without helping, and the white sand is in Nirvana, and it is black." ”

The environment will affect the growth of plants, the quality of the family atmosphere, and the life of the child.

At all times, parents should pass on positive energy to their children and create an optimistic and positive family atmosphere.

1. Harmonious atmosphere

When parents love each other, children have a sense of security;

Parent-child harmony, children have a sense of belonging.

Living in a harmonious and loving family, children can develop a sound personality and grow up healthily.

2. The atmosphere of reading

A child's grades come from reading.

Children's three views come from reading.

Children's self-confidence, strength and open-mindedness come from reading.

Reading is a long-term family education, and it is also the most beautiful gift that parents give to their children.

A family that loves to read is the most rare education to create a strong bookish atmosphere and academic atmosphere for children.

3. Motivated vibes

When parents have a pen in their hands, children will feel the joy of learning.

When parents have ideals in their hearts, children will look for the direction of life from an early age.

Smart parents never urge their children to work hard, but lead their children to progress through their own efforts.

A good parent may not be able to teach an equally good child, but a motivated family will definitely be able to teach a child who is promising.

05

Gaps in home-school cooperation

After the "double reduction", the gap between children may become wider and wider.

There is less homework after school, there is no make-up class on weekends, and how children learn at school and at home directly affects their grades.

Liu Changming, the former principal of Beijing No. 4 Middle School, said: "Any parent who does not cooperate with the school will end up in a tragedy." ”

Many parents who do not cooperate with the teacher often leave a sentence of "teacher, the child will be handed over to you" and leave it alone.

Usually ignore the child, and when you find that the child has regressed, you blame the child for not working hard, or blame the teacher for not being able to teach.

Every time a child has a problem, the first thing he finds is the teacher, who wants to communicate with the parents, but the parents say "not available".

If parents can't cooperate with teachers well, how can teachers teach their children well?

No matter how much responsibility the school bears, parents cannot afford to ignore their children.

No matter how good a teacher is, they need the support and cooperation of parents.

If the child is compared to a tree, then the parents should help the tree expand its roots and grow upward, and the teacher should prune and prune the leaves to help the tree grow better.

What children need most is the help of both parents and teachers.

A child's greatest luck is to have a teacher who is conscientious and well-taught, and to have parents who lead by example and never lack a place.

One thing is certain:

As long as both the family and the school are honest, concentric, in the same direction, and together, the child will be better and better!

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