There is a saying in the countryside: "It is better to be an ant's leg than to learn a sparrow's mouth." ”
Whether life is good or not does not depend on how rich the material is and how high the status is, but between "doing" and "talking".
After the age of sixty, you will be the old man in the family, and if you keep nagging, it will not only make the family irritated, but also bring the troubles outside to the family. Insist on saying less and doing more, and the situation will change.
Therefore, the best way to live is to manage yourself, not knowing three things, and not asking four questions.
01
I don't know, but I live easily.
If you say that a person's internal friction is mostly found by himself. Maybe you're not convinced.
But when you think about it, that's really the case. Something that had nothing to do with you, knowing it, it was also trembling and anxious.
The writer Qiao Ye once wrote: "There are so many things that I already know, so that I, a stupid person, can neither do anything nor feel happy after I know it." ”
In people's hearts, there are more troubles, less happiness, in the eyes, more weeds, less flowers, in the nose, more fishy smell, less fragrance, in the ears, more noise, less music.
What you really need, what makes you happy, if not, then you don't want it.
In work and study, we regard "one question and three unknowns" as a joke.
But for the elderly, it is better not to know than to know, and it is easier to reduce internal friction with actions.
First, I get busy and don't know how to get old.
One day, Zen Master Dazhi went to visit his master, Zen Master Foguang, whom he had not seen for twenty years.
As soon as they met, they asked, "Master is healthy?"
Buddha Guang said: "Every day I lecture on the Dharma, write and copy the scriptures, and I am very busy. There is no time to grow old. ”
I'm so busy that I forget about getting old. It's pretty good to think about.
Time is walking and people are busy, so they will not always think about the confusion of life and death, let alone sadness.
When I am free all day, I will think about how many days there will be in the future, how old I am, and I will hear the bad news that people of the same age are leaving one by one.
Second, learn tirelessly.
I have read a Zen saying: "The mountain flowers bloom like brocade, and the stream water is as clear as blue." ”
Why mountain flowers are beautiful every year, not because they will not wither, but because after the flowers have withered, they have to accumulate strength to welcome the next spring.
The water flows to the pond, and the water is deep, so the beauty of the sky is reflected.
If there are no accidents, after the age of sixty, we still have dozens of spring and autumn seasons. What's the reason for not accumulating energy?
Keep reading, learning skills, and pondering new things, and you will find yourself full of energy, so that you don't feel tired.
People who have nothing to do and have an empty mind lying lazily are the most exhausting.
Third, be quiet and don't know loneliness.
Sima Guang of the Northern Song Dynasty had to retire because he opposed Wang Anshi's reforms. He built the "Paradise of Independence" in Luoyang.
The garden has flowers, bamboo, Chinese medicinal herbs, and a pond for fishing. This stay is more than ten years.
Sima Guang said: "When the bright moon comes, the breeze comes, there is nothing to do, nothing to stop, ears, eyes, lungs and intestines, all for yourself." ”
Live quietly and quietly, only then can you have a better mood, look at the bright moon, in order to listen to the murmur of the wind, the scenery outside is your own, in the heart, free flow.
The loneliness of old age is gone, your heart is full, and everything around you will become something that nourishes life.
02
Four don't ask, set Defu.
Too many people, after the age of sixty, boredom begins, and it becomes "bag inquiry".
I'm afraid that I don't know about the things around me, or I know a little bit and I don't know it very well.
It's easy to ask questions, but they hurt others and don't do you any good.
"Silence is gold, opening is silver", you have to adhere to this truth.
First of all, help others, do not ask for returns.
Helping others as much as you can, without expecting anything in return, is the only way to accumulate virtue and happiness.
If the old man asks for a return, or calls someone to send something, then take the return himself, and the children and grandchildren will not get it.
When a person is old, it is better to leave virtue to his children and grandchildren than to have a large sum of money and a big house.
Then, parenting, don't ask about family matters.
There is a big difference between a 60-year-old who educates his children and a 30-year-old who educates his children.
When your children are married, they will bother less, they are all adults, and they have their own control ability.
The children's small family and the parents' family cannot be tied together, and it is not a real family.
Let your children develop freely, and you will find that you don't have to ask anything, they should tell you, they will tell you, and what they shouldn't tell will be done.
Even if there is a conflict between the child and the spouse, do not ask. What you have to ask is that there are big problems such as life attacks, divorce, and breaking the law and committing crimes, but there are no big problems in ordinary families.
After that, take your grandchildren and don't care about your studies.
When I was sixty years old and retired, I went to take care of the baby. For those who are not retired, they can help their children a little bit, and it is also the first choice to bring a baby.
Take your grandson and walk slowly, take a look in the park, and take a walk in the school. It's a good day.
But many old people have taken on the task of educating their grandchildren, which is troublesome.
After a few decades, you still have to pick up a textbook, you can understand it, but the method of education is not necessarily right. Time has passed, education has changed many times, and schools have also changed.
Generational education is not very desirable. Take care of your grandchildren's lives and leave your education to your children.
In the end, filial piety, regardless of profit or loss.
Maybe when we are sixty years old, our old parents are still alive. You should be more filial to your parents and spend more time with you.
In terms of finance, how much you give to your parents, don't compare siblings. Suffering is a blessing, and this is the time when it is most clearly reflected.
Of course, you can also honor your uncle, aunt, uncle, etc., which is to pass on a good family style, and also to let your children and grandchildren remember the kindness of the older generation and cherish the bloodline.
If you don't ask clearly, then there will be a lot less flaws between people. There is not much friction among everyone, and the big family becomes harmonious and happy.
03
Everything must have a sense of proportion.
What you have to do, what to say, what to endure, what to give up, what to get, and the right proportions, then it will be comfortable.
The best thing you should know is what you have to do.
The most important thing you should ask is what others need your help with.
Sixty years old, but it's really not too old, it's a young man in the old crowd, why don't you keep up with the times.
For the rest of his life, be a hard-working, hard-talking, simple-hearted person, and always be quiet and far-reaching.
Author: Cloth Clothes Coarse Food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The pictures in the article come from the Internet.