There are many people in life who are inside the "besieged city" and their hearts are outside the "besieged city". They have no initial feeling of love for the other half of their marriage, only family affection and responsibility.
At this time, when I met someone who made my heart move outside of marriage, I fell into the fog of emotion and didn't know how to face it. On the one hand, it is the responsibility of the family, and on the other hand, it is the yearning for love, how to choose?
In fact, when encountering this situation, you may be able to find the answer as long as you think about the following three things clearly.
1. Do you really understand this "true love"?
Love is often a spur-of-the-moment impulse, while marriage is a long-term commitment.
When you fall into a new relationship, you tend to get carried away by the passion, only seeing the good in the other person and ignoring the possible problems. At this time, you need to calm down and take a hard look at this so-called "true love".
Is the other person really as perfect as you think they are, or is it just a projection of your dissatisfaction with your marriage?
True love is not only heartbeat and passion, but also needs the test of time and in-depth understanding. Don't jump to conclusions, give yourself and the other person a chance and let time tell.
2. Has your marriage really come to an end?
Marriage is not once and for all, it needs to be run and maintained by both parties.
When faced with the temptation of an extramarital affair, many people will place the blame on the unhappiness of the marriage. However, problems in marriage are often not one-sided, but are caused by both parties.
Before deciding to give up on your marriage, you need to ask yourself: Is my marriage really irretrievable, and have we tried to communicate, understand, and tolerate?
Marriage is not a game, we must face up to the problems in the marriage, and strive to find a good way to get along in the marriage, maybe we can find a way to rekindle the spark of love.
3. Can you live with the consequences of an extramarital affair?
An extramarital affair is like a storm, and it can bring more than just short-term pleasure, but more long-term pain and remorse.
An extramarital affair may seem beautiful, but the price behind it is huge. Once you fall into it, you will not only have to face the breakdown of your family, the disappointment of your loved ones and the accusations of society, but also suffer and regret in your own heart.
Can you really afford such consequences?
Before pursuing so-called "true love", you need to think about whether you can bear it all. If you've sacrificed everything for the sake of short-term pleasure, is such love really worth pursuing?
After thinking about the above three things, maybe you will be able to know more clearly what to choose.
Marriage is solemn and requires reverence for it. Love is indeed beautiful, but it should be the spice of life, not the poison.
No matter how beautiful the scenery "outside the city" is, it can only be viewed from afar, don't think about owning it, otherwise you will only lose more.
You must understand that your so-called "true love" is actually just an episode in your life, and your marriage is your physical and mental destination. Cherish the people in front of you, and don't give up the happiness you already have.
Of course, if you really find that your marriage is irretrievable, then you have to be brave enough to face the reality.
In short, you should think about these three things clearly before making the most suitable choice for you.