Regardless of whether the original wife is willing to admit it or not, there are some marriage truths that are very heart-wrenching.
For example, after a man cheats and betrays his family, he feels more guilty about the woman outside.
As for his wife, he is more pretending to cope with it, and even disgusted.
Obviously, it was the man who did something wrong, and it was the man who damaged the interests of his wife together with the woman outside, but why did the man not feel guilty about his wife, but felt more sorry for the woman outside?
The reason behind this involves both human nature and strategy.
Writer Lin Wanyang once said with emotion:
There is a lot of luck in the world, from the beginning, to peel off the cocoon, and in the end it is all a plan.
If the original wife wants to control a man, she must understand people's hearts and be able to plan. Only then will you be able to advance and retreat freely in your marriage.
One
The stolen things, even if they are just small favors, are all obtained in vain, and when you get the benefits, you can naturally hold the gold owner in the palm of your hand and greet you with a smile.
This is the "thief dividend" for women outside of marriage.
For women outside of marriage, a man is a good man as long as he gives benefits, and she doesn't care about anything else.
Therefore, when getting along with women outside of marriage, men not only have a sense of freshness and excitement, but also a sense of relaxation and inexplicable pride, and men can feel unprecedented masculinity value.
After Lao Zhou cheated, he always felt that women outside were better than his wife.
The woman outside only needs to give her a little companionship and meet her physical needs and emotional value, and she can have starry eyes on Lao Zhou, and her eyes are full of adoration and tenderness.
But the wife at home always puts forward all kinds of requirements, always has all kinds of expectations and dissatisfactions, especially the long-term urging Lao Zhou to fight for his career, which makes Lao Zhou annoyed.
She treats me like a son, which is really annoying.
Of course, Lao Zhou's disgust and boredom are also because of the anger and irritability shown by his wife after the East Window incident.
In the eyes of Lao Zhou's wife, although Lao Zhou is not enterprising, he is generally an honest man who cares for his family. But she never thought that the honest man who had shared the bed with her for more than ten years would be so disgusting and filthy behind his back.
Therefore, although he intends to forgive Lao Zhou's infidelity, the kind of unwillingness and anger in his bones makes Lao Zhou's wife have no good attitude towards Lao Zhou.
This undoubtedly made Lao Zhou even more biased towards women outside.
Two
After learning the truth about Lao Zhou's cheating and betrayal, Lao Zhou's wife quarreled for a long time.
There have been countless times when Lao Zhou was shaken awake from his sleep, and then listened to his wife's hysterical roar there:
I have paid so much for this family for so many years, are you worthy of me? You are wrong, you are wrong, you still die without repentance, and you are still disconnected from that woman, has your conscience been eaten by dogs?
Every time his wife roars, the few guiltes in Lao Zhou's heart will be reduced once, and after more times, no matter how hysterical his wife is, crying bitterly, Lao Zhou's heart will not be turbulent at all, and there will be no feeling of distress at all.
On the contrary, he felt more and more sorry for the women outside.
When she knew that the matter was exposed, the woman outside offered to reduce the meeting, and said that it was because of herself that Lao Zhou's life was restless. When Lao Zhou couldn't stand the torture of his wife and complained to a woman outside of marriage, the woman would always comfort her softly:
You have paid so much for your family, and your wife still accuses you like this, I really don't understand you at all, I understand you, it's so distressing.
Every time he heard such soft words, Lao Zhou's mood would immediately improve a lot.
Different positions will produce different words, and different words will have completely different effects.
It is difficult for the original partner who has been hurt to say some things that men love to hear, and to bring out the good part of a man's human nature.
Therefore, when dealing with the original partner, what men expose is often the evil in human nature.
Human nature is complex, with both good and evil sides.
After encountering derailment and betrayal, the first thing the original partner should consider is how to learn to use various green tea discourse techniques to retreat and advance to inspire the goodness of men.
For example, to a man:
I know you can't bear that woman, and I want to fulfill you, but I'm miserable right now, and I need a transition.
When a man feels that you are empathetic and considerate of him from the inside, the guilt in his heart will be stimulated, and his heart will be biased towards you a little bit in this transition period.
When he pulls away from the woman outside, it's up to you how you want to pinch him.