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My name is Chen Jianguo, I am 62 years old, and I am retired from a state-owned enterprise. After retirement, there is a pension of 2,000 yuan per month, which is considered a well-off level in this small city.
I have two children, the eldest son, Chen Wei, is 35 years old this year, married and has his own family. The youngest daughter, Chen Li, is 30 years old this year and is still single. The children all work and live in the city. The son works for a foreign-owned company, and the wife works as a teacher in a middle school. The daughter works as a designer for a local advertising agency.
After I retired, I spent most of my time watching my grandchildren and doing housework. The children are busy with work, and they rarely come back to see me. Sometimes I would take the initiative to go to their homes to help with cooking and cleaning. I felt that my pension was enough to support my life, so I wanted to divide my monthly pension of 1,000 yuan to my two children, hoping to help them relieve some of their burden. But every time they brought it up, they politely refused.
One day, I asked my son and daughter to have dinner together. During the dinner, I again raised the idea of giving them a pension of $1,000 a month. His son Chen Wei was stunned for a moment, then waved his hand and said, "Dad, your pension is just a little, keep the flowers for yourself." My daughter-in-law and I are combined, and the income is okay, so you don't have to worry about it. "
Daughter Chen Li also shook her head again and again: "Yes, Dad, your pension is so much, we can earn okay, we don't need you to share it with us." If you get seriously ill in the future, you'll be in trouble. "
I insisted, "You are my children, and of course I have to care about your lives. You are just entering the society now, and it is normal for you to be short of money. I have enough money for my own pension, so you can happily accept it. "
The son shook his head and said, "Dad, I appreciate your kindness, but I really don't need your money." Keep it for yourself. "
The daughter also said, "Yes, Dad, you may have to buy things for your grandchildren in the future, and you can keep the money for yourself." We made enough money to spend. "
I explained, "You're not very old now, and you're going to start a family in the future." At that time, the cost of a family is not small. If you can save more money from now on, you will be able to live a more prosperous life in the future. Besides, if you accept this little bit of my heart, I can feel more at ease. "
The son still looked suspicious: "Dad, you can keep the money for yourself, I really don't need it." If you have a physical problem in the future, you will be in trouble. "
My daughter also advised me: "Yes, Dad, you may have to buy things for your grandchildren in the future, you can keep the money for yourself." "
Watching the two children refuse in unison, I felt very uncomfortable at the time. I frowned and said, "You guys are so unappreciative? Isn't I trying to share some of your burden?
The son quickly explained, "Dad, don't think so. We reject your money because we feel you deserve to enjoy your retirement. We don't want to burden you in any way. "
The daughter also said, "Yes, Dad, you can keep the money for yourself." We make enough money to spend on ourselves. If you get seriously ill in the future, you'll be in trouble. "
When I got home, I had mixed feelings. I thought my children would appreciate my kindness, but they all turned it down. I was a little disappointed and angry. I felt that I was trying to share some of their burdens out of kindness, but they turned a blind eye to my hard work.
I pondered for myself whether there was something wrong with my proposal, but no matter how I thought about it, I felt that I had good intentions and that there was nothing wrong with it. I sighed and said to myself into the empty room, "They've all grown up, it's time to learn to be independent." But as a father, I hope they will understand my feelings. "
But after I calmed down, I thought to myself that maybe my children rejected me out of respect and concern for me. After all, my pension is only a small amount, and they may be worried that I will not have enough money to live on in the future. And now that they have entered society, they should be independent and should no longer rely on my funding.
I am reminded of my own experiences when I was younger. At that time, our family was surrounded by walls, and it was only by our own hard work that we embarked on the road of well-off little by little. I was relieved of my rejection. They did this because they wanted me to keep the money for myself and enjoy my old age.
In fact, my son Chen Wei was indeed out of respect and concern for me at that time. He knew in his heart that his parents had worked hard for most of their lives, and they should enjoy their old age after finally retiring. He didn't want me to give them the money, but kept it for himself.
Besides, he and his wife together have an income that can still maintain the current standard of living. Although it will cost more to buy a house and add furniture in the future, he believes that as long as he works hard, he can always solve it. He didn't want to burden his parents in any way.
Daughter Chen Li's thoughts are the same as her son's. She refused my money because she felt that her parents' pension should be used for herself. She rented a house by herself, and her living expenses were indeed relatively tight, but she still wanted me to keep the money for myself.
"My parents worked so hard back then, but now I can finally retire with peace of mind. How can I ask for any more money from them?" Chen Li thinks so. She thinks that her parents' pension is only a small amount, and if she is seriously ill and needs a lot of medical expenses, it will be troublesome.
However, even though my children kindly refused my money, I still had some resentment in my heart. I felt that I had good intentions and wanted to share their burden, but instead of being grateful, they pushed my kindness away.
For a while, I was a little distant from my children and didn't take the initiative to visit them. My daughter Chen Li noticed this and took the initiative to ask me out to eat several times, but I excused myself.
Once, Chen Li said on the phone: "Dad, are you still angry with me about what happened last time? Don't be like this, we are all a family." I said coldly, "It's nothing, I'm just too lazy to go out lately." "
In this way, there was some estrangement and alienation between me and my daughter Chen Li. Once she asked me to visit her rented house, but I refused. She asked me why, and I said categorically, "I'm not going to go if there's nothing to do." "
She said with some grievances: "Dad, are you still angry with me about what happened last time? Why are you like this? We are all for your good." "
I didn't answer directly, but sighed and said, "You have all grown up, and I am useless as a father." "
When Chen Li heard this, she immediately retorted: "Dad, how can you say that? You are our father, of course we love you." "
I sneered and said, "Yes, of course you love me, but you don't even look down on my kindness." "
Chen Li was anxious, and explained again and again: "Dad, don't think so. We reject your money because we feel that you have worked for us for most of your life and that it is time to enjoy your old age. We don't want to burden you in any way, we want you to keep your money for yourself. "
I snorted and said, "Do you think I'm old and useless?" or do you think I'm asking you for a pension when I give you money?"
Chen Li was obviously a little angry when she saw my attitude. She said, "Dad, why do you think so? Why are you so suspicious? We are all for your good." "
I pouted and said, "Okay, you just think I'm useless as an old man, just a burden." "
Chen Li was so anxious that she almost cried, she said, "Dad, how can you say that? You will always be the dearest and most beloved person in my heart." We reject your money because we care about you. I hope you keep your money for yourself and enjoy your old age. Why don't you understand?"
Seeing that my daughter's eyes were slightly red, my heart softened. I sighed, reached out and patted her on the shoulder and said, "Okay, okay, I got it." You're all for my good, I'm not angry. "
My daughter's eyes were slightly red, and she looked like she was about to cry, and I felt a little guilty in my eyes. Yes, how can I, as a father, be so stubborn, and my sons and daughters refuse my money out of good intentions, but I always doubt their motives.
I sat on the couch and reminisced about some of my childhood. At that time, the family was in difficulty, and my parents worked hard all their lives and didn't save much money. But every Chinese New Year, they would always buy me and my brother some small gifts, and do their best to fulfill our wishes.
Now that I think about it, my parents were also out of kindness. It's just that we are too young to appreciate the good intentions of our parents. Now that I am a father myself, I am often annoyed and angry by some small things in my children, which is really ridiculous and sad.
Thinking of this, my heart completely softened. I took my daughter's hand and said sincerely, "Lili, I'm sorry, it's my father who is too stubborn." You're all for Daddy's good, but I'm always suspicious of your motives. It's so unreasonable. "
Chen Li shook her head again and again and said, "It's okay Dad, don't say that." You are our Father and we love you forever. "
I continued: "You are all grown up, but I still discipline you like children. I'm so selfish that I only think about my feelings and don't put myself in your shoes. "
Chen Li patted the back of my hand and said with a smile, "Dad, you just love us too much." We're too headstrong to let you worry so much. "
Looking at my daughter's gentle smile, my heart was completely relieved. I hugged her gently and said, "If there is anything in the future, you can tell Dad directly, don't let Dad always guess by himself." Dad's age is not very good. "
Chen Li smiled and said, "No, you are our old and strong." "
I smiled helplessly and said, "Okay, okay, don't make a show." Go and call your brother too, and we'll get together as a family. "
Soon, his son Chen Wei also rushed over. Seeing a family of three sitting happily together, I couldn't have been happier in my heart.
I patted the hands of the two children and said solemnly, "I was indeed too stubborn at the beginning, and I was always suspicious of your kindness. But you're all for my good, and I finally understand now. If there is anything in the future, let's communicate more and don't let this misunderstanding happen again. Are you right?"
The two children said in unison, "Yes, yes, yes, just listen to Dad." "
I was deeply touched by this episode. As parents, we want our children to be considerate of our own hearts, but at the same time, we must respect their children's ideas. After all, they have grown up and have their own outlook on life and values. We cannot always impose our will on them.
More importantly, parents and children should communicate more and communicate more. Many times, we have misunderstandings because of a lack of understanding of each other. If you can communicate and confess in a timely manner, you will not let small misunderstandings be infinitely magnified.
I used to think of my children as little children, thinking they didn't understand anything. Actually, they have their own thinking and independent opinions. I should be humble enough to listen to their ideas, not rest on my laurels.
Children should also take the initiative to communicate with their parents. If you have any ideas, just tell your parents directly, don't leave a gap. After all, parents and children are a family and should care for each other and be considerate of each other. Only in this way can our family be harmonious and happy.
From this experience, I was deeply touched. I made up my mind that I would correct my shortcomings in the future and communicate more with my children. We should no longer blindly impose our own ideas on them, but respect their ideas and listen to their suggestions with an open mind.
I believe that as long as everyone can communicate with each other with an open mind and understand each other, our family will be able to love each other and be harmonious and beautiful. Even if there are some small contradictions or differences in the future, we will definitely be able to resolve them. Because we are a family, together forever.
That night, our family was reunited for the first time in a long time. Chen Wei and his daughter-in-law cooked a table of delicious home-cooked food, and Chen Li also bought some snacks and fruits. We sat happily together, eating, and chatting.
After dinner, Chen Li suddenly said, "By the way, Dad, next Sunday is your birthday, how do you want to spend it?"
I smiled and said, "Being with you is the best birthday present." "
Son Chen Wei also said: "Then let's celebrate Dad's birthday, the family is reunited." "
When I heard this, my heart was extremely warm. Yes, as long as the family is reunited, it is the greatest happiness.
Since untying the knot with their father, both children have secretly decided to prepare an unforgettable birthday gift for their father. They began to plot it in private.
Daughter Chen Li said: "Dad is so old, we should surprise him and let him feel our filial piety." "
Son Chen Wei also agreed: "Yes, Dad's life is not easy. We've got to treat him well. "
The two of you discussed word by word, and finally made up their minds. Chen Li said: "Then it's decided, we will work together to give my father an unforgettable birthday." "
So, in the next few days, the two secretly began to act. Sometimes he would avoid his father and discuss it secretly. In my father's eyes, they were indeed a little mysterious.
Once, my father half-jokingly said, "Have you two been plotting something lately? "
Chen Li hurriedly waved her hand and said, "Dad, we have been busy with work recently, so we haven't seen you much." "
Just a few days before my birthday, a small episode occurred. That day, his father was resting at home, and his son Chen Wei suddenly called and asked his father to have dinner together.
The father was a little puzzled, because his son was not usually in this habit. But he readily agreed. When I arrived at the agreed restaurant, my son was already waiting there. Seeing his father coming, he hurriedly greeted him.
While eating, the father asked his son, "Why did you suddenly ask me to eat today?"
The son said vaguely: "It's nothing, it's just that I've been too busy with work lately, and I want to get close to you and get close to the father-son relationship." "
My father smiled and said, "Okay, okay, are you preparing a birthday surprise for me? "
The son waved his hand again and again and said, "How can there be, Dad, don't worry about it." I just want to have a good meal with you. "
The father nodded clearly, but he understood it very well in his heart. It seems that the children are about to surprise themselves.
When he returned home, the father began to look forward to what kind of surprises his children would have in store for him. However, he did not take the initiative to inquire, but decided to wait patiently.
But no matter what, my father was very pleased. After all, if children can prepare surprises for themselves, it shows that they really love themselves. For an old man who is over the age of six, it is the greatest happiness to be able to get the filial piety and filial piety of his children.
As my father drank fragrant green tea, he couldn't help but think of the past. He remembered when his children were young, when they were always pestering themselves and being cute. Now that they're adults, it's a great relief to be able to surprise their father.
The father secretly made up his mind that no matter what kind of surprise his children had prepared, he would accept it all, and sincerely thanked them for their filial piety. After all, it's the hearts of the children that matter.
Finally, the birthday came. Early in the morning, the father was woken up by the sons and daughters. They happily stood in front of his father's bed and blessed him: "Happy birthday Daddy!
The father sat up from the bed with a smile and said, "Thank you, my good boy." You're not going to have some surprises in store for me, are you?"
His son Chen Wei hurriedly waved his hand and said, "How can there be, Dad, we just want to come and see you as soon as possible." "
Daughter Chen Li also said: "Yes, Dad, don't worry about it." We just want to spend this special day with you. "
Father smiled and nodded, but he understood it very well in his heart. It seems that the children don't want to reveal the surprise so quickly.
After a simple breakfast, the father was taken to the living room by the children. Chen Li said, "Dad, you just sit here for a while, and we'll be back soon." "
The father looked at the backs of them leaving in a hurry, and couldn't help but be a little curious and expectant. It seems that their surprise is about to be revealed.
Finally, when the children had everything ready, they dragged their father into the living room. I saw that the living room was full of all kinds of objects, and it looked like a small exhibition.
My father looked around in amazement and asked, "What the hell are you doing?"
Son Chen Wei smiled and said, "Dad, this is the birthday surprise we have prepared for you." You see, these are photos and memorabilia of us from childhood to adulthood. "
When my father looked at it, it turned out that the living room was full of photos of the three of them and some souvenirs. There are photos of my father when he was young, photos of his children growing up, and some childhood toys and stationery.
Seeing these familiar items, my father's eyes couldn't help but moisten. He said excitedly, "You have kept these things for so long? "