The daughter is the mother's confidant, and the son is the confidant

Text | Thirteenth sister

A friend has been very entangled recently, wanting to sign up for a summer overseas summer camp for his fifth-grade son, but he is worried that the baby will not be able to go out away from his parents. The old mother's tangled things are specific to each of them, which is full of pictures, such as "He doesn't in a strange place." ”

My friend asked me to talk about the feeling of "letting go" as a passer-by, and I said that in fact, you don't have to worry about your son not pooping when he goes outside, sooner or later, you will only worry about him being too good at, after all, men.

And you should worry more about yourself, especially when your son doesn't reply to messages, your son doesn't answer calls, and you find that girls' mothers can receive forty or fifty reports a day and even a little annoyed, and then the person who has a problem because of the fire may be you.

Most boys, when they reach a certain age, will always have a time when they leave their parents and travel independently, as long as you don't ask, he will "do well", but if you ask "how is today", then you are the one who is worried, because he may reply to you after 9 hours: yes.

Looking at the daughters who talk endlessly with their mothers, I don't even have the strength to be envious and jealous, so resign myself to my fate.

It can only be said that the girl's mother trained the baby to be her confidant very easily, talked about everything, and accidentally became a "sister-like friend". And the mother of our boy, thank God for not bringing out a big trouble, it is impossible to be a sister, it is not necessary to be a brother, at most to be a roommate.

Hehe, it's not enough to have a husband as a roommate, there is one more.

If this is not the difference between human genes, it must be the heavens that will descend on the boys' mothers, so that they can practice one more step and experience the happiness of "lonely old people" in advance.

One of the biggest hobbies of girls' mothers is to "gossip" with their daughters, from food to early love, from poetry and songs to beautiful dresses......

As a boy's mother, I can only learn about his school life from childhood to adulthood:1. Sue through the teacher. 2. By asking the girls' mothers.

I asked the mothers of the girls, "How do you know so much about it?"

They were very surprised and asked, "Didn't your son tell you?"

It's so annoying, they all stare at a pair of big eyes of "why not eat minced meat", but I can only laugh at it.

So, boys' mothers should be prepared for this, don't think that your two- or three-year-old son sticks to you every day, and he can call mom at the door 500 times when you go to the toilet, what a burden that can't be shaken off...... You just wait patiently, and in a few years, the flowers will bloom.

When my son was in elementary school, he had a lot of such "abandonment of his father and mother", and once he came back from out of town, he had two more socks in his backpack, and they were not a pair.

It doesn't matter if you have more socks, but behind each sock, there is always a family that is missing a sock.

The mother of another boy or two boys is in a state of confusion because of how many things have been lost.

When I was in elementary school, another boy in my son's class came back from attending an event in Beijing and brought back a teacup with 5 zeros on the label, saying that it was an "antique cup" that was discounted and bought at 550.

It doesn't matter if you buy an antique, but behind every broken antique, there is always a sigh of a helpless old mother who is neither willing to hit the child nor accept the antique.

So when the boy is outside, it's easy to sneak around and "do big things".

And you never know what he's going to do next time, and the things you're worried about may not really worry you, but he'll probably add new worries to you.

Every time my son went out of the house, I struggled with whether to take care of them, such as "don't lose everything", "stay safe", "don't talk to strangers", "wash your clothes", ...... Without a few words, I feel that my son will not live without my advice, and he seems to be cultivating a mother's treasure man.

Every boy's mother is probably jumping sideways and constantly tangled in "don't cultivate mom bao man" and "I don't interfere with him, he will get into trouble".

Unlike a girl, she is a "little princess who is loved" when she is nagged by her mother a lot, and she is an "independent heroine" if she manages less...... It's all good.

In fact, a comparison will find that in fact, girls are very "mature" and have strong self-care skills outside, while boys are more ignorant. So, you'll find that what's stickier than 502 is basically the boy's mom.

There are so many things to worry about when the boy is released alone.

It's not just about.

My son once went to Europe with the orchestra, first in Germany and then in Zurich, Switzerland.

It was a very coincidental fact that my friend and I had already scheduled a trip to Europe, and although it was not the same place as my son, it was also a roundabout tactic - it seemed that I played mine and you played yours, but the shortening of the physical distance was a great psychological comfort.

At the same time, the child's father stayed at home, learned garbage sorting, and then continued to practice garbage sorting.

It's a truly amazing arrangement.

But the child's father asks me every day, "What did my son do today?"

I don't know what your son is doing.

It was as if he could report to me all the time. Although we are in the same time zone, jet lag in parent-child relationships is unavoidable.

Until then, my father and I had agreed on a pact:

1. When the son is out, he only asks him about small things such as food and clothing, and everything is up to him;

2. Don't let the teacher give him special care, let him do everything by himself;

3. Send greetings (or questions) only once a day, don't talk nonsense, don't be verbose.

Slowly, I found that both my father and I began to show varying degrees of uncalmness, only my son was very calm from beginning to end.

The way the cloud spouse is not calm is very naïve. He almost adjusted himself to the time difference, and often sent us "Car Trivia You Don't Know" at 2 o'clock in the middle of the night Beijing time...... According to the convention, he can only ask questions once a day, so he does everything possible to sensationalize, such as making a joke or something from time to time, thinking that he can get his son's attention.

幸好儿子根本不搭理他。

My way is much more mature, and I'm good at disguising.

I only send a message to my son once a day, and randomly throw out the big proposition of "how is it today", hoping that he can reply me with a summary of the day of more than 300 words and an 8,000-word growth insight.

However, we are all overly optimistic, boys don't have this tendon at all, and they usually think: why do you have so many problems, are you 200,000 why?

I have explained to my baby several times: every night before going to bed, I have to send us a message to report that I am safe. However, every night, I still can't hold back and ask, "Have you slept?" before he answers, "Hmm." ”

There is no more follow-up.

Could it be that the old mother who raised the boy was destined to live a life without face and skin.

Fortunately, I now find that the old father who raised the boy is also faceless, which makes me balance a lot.

A rough old man, usually even the baby is sick and has a fever can't figure out what medicine to take, and when I am not at home, the grandfather and son can wear the T-shirt backwards at the same time and can't detect the 200-pound giant baby, when the son travels alone, every time he shows extremely delicate care, such as "put the mobile phone away", and "eat to be full"......

This kind of nonsense, as soon as I open my mouth, I will be scolded by him, "My son is not a child anymore, why are you so verbose".

Therefore, less than two days after its implementation, the promised "convention" began to fall apart and became incomplete.

Really, distance produces beauty, but also produces illusions, those things that I usually believe I won't do, I do it very handy at this time, I can't feel it, and I can't admit it.

This seems to be a dark war, the father and mother are competing to see who can shake the son's cold heart, so that the son can take the initiative to talk about the story of going out and pour out his thoughts about his family.

So far, it seems that I've had a tie with my cloud spouse - neither of them succeeded.

Watching the girls in the same group voice chat, video chat, and real-time live broadcast with their mothers every day, I finally discovered the gap between raising girls and raising boys.

But it is precisely because the boy is too unactive, unenlightened, and does not know how to express it, that the boy's mothers are more involved and pursued.

On the contrary, the mothers of girls will pay less attention to the details, and only the mothers of boys will exaggeratefully stretch their hands halfway around the world to take care of everything, and even video chat with their children in the middle of the night without sleeping, telling him to "don't forget to poop every day"......

Anyway, it's on the bar with.

In adolescence, boys are definitely a vulnerable group, they are considered "unenlightened and unable to take care of themselves", and even if it is not true, it is normal for them to make some facts that are not within the scope of your guess.

Don't talk about my son, my husband went out for three or five days and brought back a large bag of broken stones, saying "This is a meteorite, I want to open my son's eyes", what did I say?

Therefore, it is difficult for a boy to become his mother's henchman, and he will most likely become a confidant, which will make the old mother suddenly worried, but he can't interfere too much.

But when I saw his father, I seemed to understand that a man was a teenager until he died, and I was a little relieved to think that this straight man's son would one day become another woman's henchman.

Thirteenth sister

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