After looking at the mother and daughter at the roadside stall, I understood why some children could not get rich in their lives

I was in front of a roadside stall and saw a mother and daughter eating barbecue.

The mother ordered some meat skewers and corn, and the girl looked happy, and the two of them found a corner and sat down.

Just when the girl was about to happily eat the first bite, her mother said seriously: "These barbecues cost me half a day's salary." ”

The girl stopped what she was doing and looked at her mother with some uneasiness, obviously the words fell heavily on her heart.

The girl lowered her head, lost the excitement she had at the beginning, and just slowly ate the food in her hand, which seemed tasteless.

Although the mother's original intention is to make the child sensible and understand the difficulties of parents. But this approach may inadvertently put pressure on the child.

Girls will feel that it is a sin to have only one pleasure for themselves. This kind of pressure on the child's heart will make him feel a deep sense of guilt, and over time, even happiness will be a burden.

Many times, in order to make their children thrifty and sensible, parents often say:

"I've worked so hard for you, you have to study hard, be obedient, and repay me in the future to be worthy of me!"

These words not only express our "selfless dedication", but also make children feel indebted to themselves, which has a profound impact on children.

Looking at the mother and daughter at the roadside stalls, I understood why some children are difficult to grow up to be rich.

One: The child will feel guilty

As I said earlier, every time a child enjoys, we have to nag: "Mom and Dad are not easy, you have to cherish and be grateful." ”

Every time that child is happy, there is a huge sense of guilt.

And in order to reduce this guilt, children learn to be overly "sensible", and they always tolerate what they like, dare not fight for it, and do not ask for extravagance.

When he grows up, even if he is capable, he will feel that it is a sin to let himself enjoy the things he wants.

A friend of mine has a good salary, but every time he buys clothes, he always buys a lot of processed clothes, discounted, and unsightly.

Those beautiful, fashionable, affordable clothes, but she is always reluctant. She said she felt guilty about spending like that.

She didn't dare to be too good to herself, as if there was always a voice in her head telling her: "You have to be thrifty, you have to be sensible, you can't waste it like this." ”

When parents deliberately cry poor, children may have a sense of "unworthy" and "unworthy", and they will not dare to be kind to themselves in the future, which is probably not what we want to see.

Two: Different guidance, different lives

Instead of deliberately crying poor, it is better to let children understand their true family background.

When the family wears ordinary clothes, shoes and socks, the classmate's brand-name shoes and clothes will let him know that it is the consumption level of other people's families, and his own family background is average.

When others travel around the world and go abroad to see the world on vacation, he will know that his family background cannot support such pleasures.

So how do we let our children strive for self-improvement and indignation under such conditions?

Instead of telling him, "Your meal cost me half a day's salary." ”

It's better to tell him: "Mom has saved money for a while, and I can finally take you out to eat it." Child, you eat well, let's work hard when we are full. You study hard, mom works hard, we will get better and better in the future, eat more delicious food!"

Such words shift the child's attention from "I am not worthy", "I am not worthy", and "I am guilty" to "we must work hard", "we will get better and better", and "there is more hope for the future".

When you cry poverty with your child, what your child sees is that he shouldn't, can't, and doesn't dare to enjoy life.

You guide him to the positive side, and what the child sees is that he can, that he deserves it, that he deserves it, that he can strive to have a better one.

Different guidance is a different life for children.

Three: The key is not to cry poor

Many people feel that a bad family background will limit their children's growth.

But in fact, it is not poverty, but how parents deal with this situation that is the key.

For example, a friend of mine has average family conditions, but she never makes her children feel inferior or inadequate, and always teaches her children to cherish everything they have and be optimistic.

She often said, "Although our family is not rich, as long as we are willing to work hard, we will definitely get better and better in the future." ”

In this way, she creates a sense of security for her children, making them feel that even if they are not rich in material things now, they will be able to get it in the future.

What really hurts the child is the negative, self-blame and guilt-filled emotions of the parents.

If parents always make their children feel guilty, children will feel pressure and loss, and over time, they will become inferior and sensitive.

Therefore, when the family is average, parents crying poor can't solve the problem. What can really motivate the child is positive guidance, give him hope, let him know that as long as he works hard, he will be worthy of what he wants in the future.

Do you agree with your parents' "crying poor education"?

[The picture comes from the Internet, invaded and deleted]