Text丨Aru talks about popular science
Editor丨Aru talks about popular science
Preamble:
When talking to the elderly, we may hear a variety of words. Some of the elderly's words are warm and touching, while others may leave a bad impression, especially when communicating with children.
Some elderly people may have good intentions, but they can have a negative impact on the child's development. Therefore, when we get along with our children, especially as elders, we need to pay special attention to our words and deeds and avoid saying things to our children that may hurt them.
Don't say to your child "Why are you so stupid"
As children grow up, they may encounter all sorts of problems and difficulties, and sometimes make some mistakes. As elders, of course, we want our children to perform well and do everything smoothly, but the reality is often cruel.
Everyone's abilities are limited, and children are the same, they can't do everything well, and there will be times when they make mistakes. Words like "why are you so stupid" is a great harm to children, which will make them feel that they cannot meet the expectations of their elders, thus reducing their self-confidence, producing an inferiority complex, and in severe cases, it will also have a negative impact on learning and life.
Therefore, no matter at any time, do not use such derogatory words to evaluate children, but should give them more understanding and encouragement to help them establish a correct outlook on life and learning.
Don't say to your child, "You must be a doctor, lawyer, etc."
Many parents want their children to have a bright future, so they start planning their future paths for their children at a very young age, believing that only "decent" careers such as doctors, lawyers, and teachers can be productive.
However, everyone's interests and specialties are different, some children may be born with a strong interest in literature and art, while others like sports or are good at hands-on production.
If the elders blindly put pressure on the children, believing that they can only be proud of their families if they are engaged in a "decent" profession, this practice is undoubtedly a kind of harm to the children, will make them lose the right to choose, lose themselves in the expectations of others, and in the long run, may produce fear and boredom of the future, and in severe cases, psychological problems.
Therefore, as elders, we should respect the wishes of our children, give them full support and encouragement, and let them freely choose the life path that suits them.
Don't say to your child, "Girls should be gentle, boys should be strong"
In the traditional concept, there are often various stereotypes about the growth of boys and girls, believing that girls should be gentle and lovely, and know how to run a house, while boys should be masculine and brave, so as to conform to the values of society.
However, today's society is no longer limited to traditional thinking patterns, there is no fixed gender role between men and women, and everyone has the right to pursue the life they want.
If the elders blindly instill such ideas in the children, thinking how they should be, and not giving them the space to choose, this is undoubtedly a harm to the children, which will make them carry a heavy burden on the road of growth, unable to do what they want to do, to pursue their dreams, and in the long run, they may have negative feelings about themselves, and even confusion about self-identity.
Therefore, as elders, we should give our children more understanding and support, so that they are willing to insist on being themselves, not affected by external concepts, and find their own happiness.
Don't say "Don't tell Mom and Dad" to your child
Sometimes, elders may tell their children some secrets that they are not allowed to tell their parents, thinking that this will bring them closer to their children and make them trust them more.
However, in the hearts of children, parents should be the most trusted people, no matter what happens, they should be told in time and seek their help and advice. If the elders tell the children some secrets that should not be said, or even let them hide some facts, this is undoubtedly instigating the children to lie, which will make them hide from their parents, feel that doing so is a harm to others, and at the same time will reduce their trust in the elders.
Therefore, at any time, the elders should not tell their children some secrets that should not be said, they should be given the right guidance, so that they know how to communicate and communicate with others, and should take the initiative to share with their parents when they encounter problems.
Don't say to your child, "You are my little padded jacket and little follower"
In the communication with the child, some elders may say some sweet words to the child, thinking that this can bring the relationship closer to each other and make the child closer to themselves.
However, the meaning behind the sweet words may bring a certain amount of pressure and burden to the children, making them feel that they are the eternal "children" in the hearts of the elders, unable to be independent and grow, and can only rely on the elders all the time, which is undoubtedly a kind of harm to the children, which will make them have a certain rebellious psychology, feel that the elders have too high expectations of themselves, can not truly show their own side, and can only wear masks and colons to live in other people's world.
Therefore, elders should give appropriate affirmation and encouragement in their communication with children, rather than being overly doting and tolerant, so that children know that no matter what time they are, they will support them to think independently, try bravely, and become what they want to be.
I think that when communicating with the people around us, our words and deeds may have a positive or negative impact on others, especially when communicating with children, we need to be extra careful.
Through the reading of this article, what are your different views? Welcome to leave a message in the comment area to discuss with us and discuss the bits and pieces of children's education together.