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My name is Li Ming, I am 28 years old, and I am an ordinary office worker. Since I started working, I have been living in an old neighborhood in the old city, and my neighbors are the family of the third grandmother I am going to talk about today.
The third grandmother's family has always impressed me. They are a traditional northerner family, with three generations of grandparents living together in a small two-bedroom apartment. The third grandmother is 87 years old, but her body is still strong, and she can be seen running around and doing housework every day. Her two sons, both retired, live with their respective wives and daughters in the two units next door.
The third grandmother is an extremely frugal old man. Since she was a child, she has infiltrated the idea of "being diligent and thrifty", and she is careful about every penny in her daily life. Her thrift is not only reflected in the degree of food and clothing, but also in the small details of life.
Her two sons were very different from her. The eldest son opened a small restaurant and lived a relatively comfortable life; The youngest son is an ordinary worker with an average income. But what the two of them have in common is that they don't have the stingy habit of the third grandmother, and their attitude towards money is more casual.
The two daughters-in-law of the third grandmother are also spenders, and they are often counted as "extravagant and wasteful" by the third grandmother. The two granddaughters are even more material girls, who have a soft spot for brand-name bags and clothes, and often ask their parents for pocket money.
"Oh, look at my clothes, they've been worn for years!" Every time the family was reunited, the third grandmother would pull us and show off her old padded jacket.
The three grandmothers' every move reveals the taste of cherishing blessings. Every day, she would sort the leftover food at home, even a small vegetable leaf had to be carefully preserved; She would fold old newspapers into thin cushions for emergencies; She even keeps expired pills in case she "can use them in the future."
But the children of the third grandmother can't get used to her. Whenever the third grandmother started to show off her "frugality" again, they would roll their eyes and shake their heads.
"Mom, you're too much, aren't you? Why don't you want to throw away such a little thing?" The eldest son often said to the third grandmother, "We live so well, are you so frugal?"
"That's it, Mom, you're too stingy!" The youngest son smiled and said, "Aren't we making money just to live a good life?
The two daughters-in-law also often expressed impatience with the third grandmother's approach. When they see her turning over and mending old clothes, they shake their heads with disdain; When they saw her pack the leftovers, they frowned in disgust.
Although the children scoffed at her approach, the third grandmother always adhered to her own style of life. Whenever she was counted down by her children, she always defended herself with confidence.
"You young people don't understand, that's the way we older generation. The third grandmother generously stated, "When I was a child, my family was poor and suffered too much, so I especially know the importance of frugality. Now that life is better, I should be more frugal so that I can live a better life!"
The third grandmother truly believes that her frugal life is not only a virtue, but also for the good of her children. She often murmured, "I do this in the hope that you will have a better life in the future." You see, the society is so chaotic now, maybe what will happen in the future? If there is an urgent need for money, wouldn't it be great if our family also has such a savings?"
Despite what she said, the third grandmother's actions were far more thorough than her words. Her frugal life has not been affected at all, but has become more and more strict. I often saw her lick up the leftovers and even the little dregs on the plate, and mend the old clothes to the last line; Sometimes I even feel that her approach is a bit stingy and excessive.
The more the third grandmother is like this, the more disgusted the children become. They felt that the third grandmother's approach was too much, and it was simply an act of ruining life.
"Mom, you're just too frugal!" The eldest son often said to the third grandmother, "Look at how good our life is now? We can live a more decent life! You are always like this, and it is difficult for us to hold our heads up in front of others." "
The youngest son and two daughters-in-law also began to frequently criticize the third grandmother's practices. They believe that the third grandmother's thrift not only affects the quality of life of the family, but also makes them lose face in front of relatives and friends.
Gradually, the third grandmother's status in the family began to decline, and her words became more and more unheard. In contrast, the daughters-in-law who spend a lot of money are becoming more and more favored. They often take out the brand-name bags and jewelry they bought to show off to the third grandmother, and the third grandmother can only sigh with wide eyes.
In this way, the contradictions between the third grandmother and the children became more and more acute. Once, when the third grandmother saw that her little daughter-in-law had bought another brand-name coat, she was furious and decided to complain happily.
"Look at you, you're just wasting money!" The third grandmother pointed to the coat and shouted to her youngest son's family, "How can this dress be worth thousands of dollars with such a little fabric?
The little daughter-in-law was stimulated by the third grandmother's words, and immediately replied: "Mom, you are just too stingy! Look at how good our life is now? What's wrong with spending this little money? You are just an old poor and sour mind, so you can be so calculating!"
Seeing this, the youngest son also became energetic, and said unceremoniously to the third grandmother: "It's Mom, why are you so petty? Look at it, we are all decent people now, and you are still drilling this kind of horns, which is really enough!"
The third grandmother was so angry that she trembled all over, and tears flowed out. She never imagined that her good intentions would be so misunderstood and hurt by her children. She finally realized that her hard work and dedication had become an "outdated" and "ridiculous" thing in the eyes of her children.
"Good, good, good!" The third grandmother said bitterly, "I'm such a poor sour ghost, if you can't get used to it, I'll just say it! I do this in the hope that you won't be as bitter as me in the future! But you don't appreciate it at all, and you still think I'm troublesome!"
However, the words of the third grandmother could not resonate with the children at all. In their eyes, the third grandmother's "frugality" is just an old pedantic thought.
The youngest son directly scoffed at the third grandmother's words: "Mom, you are just too outdated." How can anyone still give himself so many rules? Our life now is just to enjoy it! You see, although my income is not high, it is enough for our whole family to have no worries about food and clothing. We should be happy, not miserable like you!"
The eldest son chimed in: "Yes, Mom, look at how decent our lives are now, and we deserve to enjoy something better." It's good that you always drill the horns of this poor sour bull, and you don't look at how good our life is now!"
The two daughters-in-law were even more arrogant and began to show off the brand-name items they bought to the third grandmother. The little daughter-in-law proudly took out a brand-name bag she had just bought, and said to the third grandmother: "Mom, look at it, this is a bag worth tens of thousands of yuan! If it had been before, we would never have dreamed of it!"
Not to be outdone, the eldest daughter-in-law took out a string of valuable jade necklaces, and said to the third grandmother with a smile: "Mom, this is what we bought when we traveled to Thailand next month!
Since then, the third grandmother has gradually changed her style. She no longer pointed fingers at her children as before, and she no longer cared about the little things at home. Instead, she began to learn to appreciate her children's way of life and rejoice in their well-being.
Once, I saw my little daughter-in-law buy another designer coat. I thought that the third grandmother would definitely count her down like before, but I didn't expect the third grandmother to take the initiative to step forward and say approvingly: "Oh, it's so beautiful! The little daughter-in-law was a little stunned by the reaction of the third grandmother, but she still happily showed off the coat.
On another occasion, the eldest son happily told the third grandmother that he planned to take the whole family on a trip to Thailand. In the past, the third grandmother would have scoffed at this, but this time she smiled and said, "Great, you can take some more pictures for me." Travel is a precious thing, and you must enjoy it. "
Gradually, the third grandmother began to look at life with a more open mind, and she no longer rested on her laurels, but learned to appreciate her children's desire to pursue a quality life. She realized that the value of life is not only to be frugal, but also to enjoy life and appreciate the joy of life.
However, the change of the third grandmother did not resonate with the children. On the contrary, they seem to regard the indulgence of the third grandmother as a kind of acquiescence, and begin to intensify their pursuit of material life.
The eldest son began to invest his family's savings in the stock market, hoping to make a quick buck. The youngest son is also inquiring about how to invest in real estate and wants to make a windfall by speculating in houses. The two daughters-in-law are even more unscrupulous in shopping, they simply treat money as nothing, and they will pile up wherever there is a new mall.
The third grandmother saw it in her eyes and was very worried. She thought that by delegating power to her children, they would understand the importance of frugality, but they misunderstood her original intention. Once, the third grandmother tried to preach to her eldest son, but he ruthlessly scolded her back.
"Mom, don't talk too much. The eldest son said confidently, "I am making money now, of course I have to invest it well." You see, house prices are rising so fast now, if you don't seize the opportunity, there will be nothing in the future!"
The youngest son had the same attitude, and he said to the third grandmother: "Mom, don't worry about those idleness. We are now in the prime of life, of course, we have to fight hard! When we are old, we will live that frugal life, and now we have to enjoy life to the fullest!"
The approach of the two daughters-in-law is even more straightforward and presumptuous. Once, I saw my little daughter-in-law counting down the third grandmother: "Mom, you are just too outdated! Now is the era of enjoying life, how can there be an old antique like you? We just have to enjoy it, so that we will not regret not living a good enough life in the future!"
The third grandmother looked at these scenes in front of her, and could only sigh with sadness. She never expected that her kindness would be so misunderstood by her children. And the children seem to have been completely immersed in the whirlpool of the pursuit of material life, and they can no longer extricate themselves.
One day, the third grandmother found me and slowly told me her story and lessons. She said that through this experience, she finally realized a truth: the road of life, when "watching and helping each other", it is more important to "understand each other".
The third grandmother said that she has now finally realized that the world is diverse, and everyone's yearning for life is different. Although her actions back then were well-intentioned, she lacked the sense of keeping pace with the times, which was regarded as "outdated" by her children.
The third grandmother said that she hoped that through this incident, her children could take this as a warning and understand that the true meaning of life lies not only in material abundance, but also in spiritual abundance. She also hopes that I can learn from this lesson and be understanding, tolerant and harmonious with others in my future life.
Listening to the words of the third grandmother, my heart was greatly touched. As a young person, I was often confused by money and material things and lost sight of other meanings in life. The experience of the third grandmother made me realize that the value of life lies not only in material abundance, but also in spiritual abundance.
Some senior media people believe that the story of the third grandmother's family reflects some of the realities of contemporary society. They point out that there is indeed a bad culture in society that is too materialistic and money-oriented, and that people are often caught up in this tide and ignore other meanings of life.
"The third grandmother represents a traditional wisdom of life, and although her frugality is a bit extreme, its core concept is worth learning from. "In contrast, her children are too paranoid about material pursuits, and this approach is also worth reflecting on." "
Some sociologists have also expressed their views on this issue. They believe that the contradiction between the three grandmothers and their children actually reflects the collision between the traditional culture and the modern way of life in contemporary society.
"The third grandmother embodies the concept of 'thrifty housekeeping' in traditional mainland culture, while her children represent the lifestyle of modern society that pursues material enjoyment. The conflict between the two is actually an inevitable pain that China will experience in the process of modernization. A sociologist said.
In addition, some psychologists interpret this issue from a psychological point of view. They believe that the contradiction between the third grandmother and her children exposes the cognitive biases that people often have when facing the conflict of values.
"The practices of the three grandmothers and their children have a certain degree of extremism. A psychologist analyzed, "The third grandmother regarded thrift as a virtue above all else, while the children equated material enjoyment with the whole of life." Both tendencies are unhealthy and reflect cognitive biases and one-sidedness. "
In general, the story of the third grandmother's family has aroused widespread attention and reflection from all walks of life. There have been in-depth discussions and analyses on the social problems, value conflicts, and cognitive biases that have been exposed.
The story of the third grandmother not only triggered a reflection on the whole society, but also made me make some practical changes in my life.
I began to try to find balance in my life, not to indulge in material pursuits, nor to follow the old path of extreme frugality. I've learned to manage my expenses wisely and be rational with some luxury brands, but at the same time, I've allowed myself to enjoy life and live a quality life.
I started to look at the people around me with a more open mind and try to understand their lifestyles and values. Sometimes, I even take the initiative to learn from others and absorb the best of different lifestyles.
In short, the story of the third grandmother gave me great inspiration. It made me aware of the diversity of my life, the importance of balance, and made me make some changes in my real life. I believe that as long as I can persevere, I will be able to live a richer and more meaningful life.