I saw a video, this retired grandmother is a teacher, her voice is trembling when describing her past life, she has resentment and unwillingness for her past life, and bluntly says that she is not sad about her husband's death, but it is not relieved, because she has never felt happy in this life! What is the reason for living such a life and not choosing to leave her husband? The older generation of people, possibly due to traditional concepts, feel that divorce is a shameful thing, and are willing to endure pain, and they are not easy to divorce!
I once chatted with an aunt who was about 50 years old, she was a victim of domestic violence, I asked her why she didn't get a divorce, she said that her mother told her that she gave her mother a long face, in fact, she thought about divorce, and she was afraid of embarrassing her mother's family, so she endured it. What sad remarks!!
When my grandfather left, my grandmother said that he was finally out of his control, and the Taoist priest said that his grandfather went to humanity. Sixteen years later, my grandmother also passed away in her 80s, she said that she had the easiest activities in the past ten years, and she did not experience much illness before her death, and the Taoist priest said that she went to Xiandao!
My grandfather suffered a cerebral hemorrhage and hemiplegia in his 40s, and he was very fond of eating and had a very big temper, and he scolded people when he was slightly dissatisfied. 178 is more than 180 pounds tall, walking all rely on my grandmother who is more than 1.4 meters to support, my grandfather is more than 70 years old, my grandma cried for a few days, no longer crying, said that she didn't owe him in this life, pulled up five daughters, and served him away, serving enough. Hey, the women of the past were all resigned to their fate!
I'm a person who loves to talk and laugh, and I've become dumb when I get married! It's really a disaster to meet a person who likes cold violence when encountering problems and contradictions! I know that I can also reverse the output and let him taste this kind of taste! But this kind of thing loses both sides, and I don't want to get along with myself! But I can't change the other party! I think the cold and violent personality is really selfish and ruthless, and it is really a great loss to spend my life with this kind of person!
My ex-husband was also cold and violent, and then I finally figured out that there are two characteristics of cold and violent people:
1. Extreme selfishness only considers one's own feelings
2. There is no ability to solve problems, only people can be solved.
Solution: Run as fast as possible!
Cold violence means that the abuser has pinched the other party and tells the other party all the time:
I'm angry, the consequences are very serious, you have to be angry, punished, and snubbed, and let you experience the consequences of making Lao Tzu angry every minute. The only way to deal with this kind of person is to stay away, or to become strong and strong enough to make the other person afraid.
Say cold violence, some people will say, then he ignores you, you ignore him, see who can twist whom, do you have to talk to him?
But in fact, when we get married, don't we just want a warm home? When we go home, who keeps a straight face and treats you as air every day. When you go home, it's the same as entering the refrigerator, you don't care about the refrigerator, over time, the cold air and low air pressure emitted will also make people very consumed, you can see yourself withering day by day, if he is just a roommate, just a friend, just a co-tenant, then of course you can do what others say, ignore it, when he doesn't exist, but obviously he is not, how can he be treated like this without being hurt.
Cold violence has certain psychological problems in terms of mental health.
Emotionally, it's the person who doesn't have a strong emotional need for you.
Physiologically, you're not giving him a good sexual experience.
In the vernacular, he doesn't like you at all, he doesn't love you at all. (There is a phenomenon that if he meets someone he likes very much, the person he loves very much should not be in this state, he will just show a form of licking a dog) So, what is the purpose of living a married life with such a person?