I saw such a video on the Internet.
In the video, a husband and wife are working, and suddenly, the husband collapses due to heat stroke.
Shockingly, however, the wife only glanced at it in a hurry and continued her labor, turning a deaf ear to her husband's suffering.
Subsequently, the husband's body on the ground continued to convulse and his condition was critical, but the wife was still standing in place, indifferent.
Seeing this scene, people can't help but feel distressed and helpless for this husband.
His pain and struggles seemed so insignificant in his wife's indifferent eyes, as if his life was nothing more than a dispensable existence for her.
One-way giving, can't be exchanged for distress
Zhang Xiaoxian said:
"Humble love cannot be loved to the earth, it will inevitably come to an end one day, and then it will not love, and then it will be understood that love is not a kind of giving and begging. How can he who loves you be willing to humble you? ”
In the world of feelings, there is a kind of love, which is the most tiring and distressing.
Silently paying, in exchange for indifference and neglect, all you have, but what you get is contempt and disregard.
This kind of humble love is like the faintest star in the night sky, and although it tries to shine a faint light, it is difficult to illuminate the other person's world after all.
My friend Xiaoling used to be a lively and cheerful girl.
However, her married life was like a heavy storm, gradually erasing her original brilliance.
When she was in college, Xiaoling met her current husband.
Although everyone around them felt that they were not suitable, Xiao Ling chased after him, and finally the two came together.
After marriage, Xiaoling followed her husband back to his hometown to develop.
However, what she didn't expect was that the days after marriage were not as good as she imagined.
Especially when the in-laws came to help take care of the children, the contradictions between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law gradually surfaced.
Whenever this happens, the husband always stands on the mother-in-law's side and asks Xiaoling to be more patient, neither knowing how to resolve the tension between her mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, nor knowing how to comfort Xiaoling's feelings.
Xiaoling has to take care of the children and take on the housework, but her husband turns a blind eye to her efforts.
Whenever there was an argument between the two, the husband always said in a condescending manner:
"You were the one who wanted to be with me, and now you think it's not pleasing to the eye or that's inappropriate? ”
The former sunny girl became complaining in this marriage, and her friends felt sorry for her.
Social psychologist Erich Fromm said:
"If you are loving someone but not evoking the love of others, then your love is weak and powerless, and it is a misfortune. ”
Love, is a verb.
It's reflected in the little details of life.
If one-sided love is not reciprocated, and long-term efforts cannot be exchanged for distress, then it is better to recognize the reality as soon as possible than to exhaust yourself.
Those who love you will bend down
There is a song that sings affectionately:
"There will always be people who treat you as a treasure, no need to tiptoe, and those who love you will bend down. ”
Some time ago, there was a video on the Internet that touched countless people.
Because of the popularity of subject 3, a wife joked with her husband, "I want to see it." ”
For this reason, my husband practiced hard at home for three days, and he never gave up even if his legs cramped.
Three days later, the husband gave his wife a dance.
In the video, the husband's silky dancing posture and the wife's warm text provoked netizens to exclaim:
"This husband is married right, it's really enviable!"
The thinker Sukhomlinsky said:
"Love means using the heart to experience the most delicate spiritual needs of others. ”
Because of love, even if the words are not explicitly spoken, they can feel each other's hearts through their eyes and actions, cherish each other, and care for each other with their hearts.
Because of love, even in the face of differences and challenges, two people can always find problems from themselves and find better solutions.
is just like Wang Shiqing and Ji Huanbo in the variety show "Goodbye Lover 3".
They once quarreled on the show, mentioning divorce many times, and the audience generally believed that their relationship would come to an end.
However, the ending was unexpectedly reversed.
In the last warm scene, Wang Shiqing wore a white shirt at the time of marriage and brought the original wedding ring of the two.
And Ji Huanbo also held Wang Shiqing's favorite lavender, knelt down on one knee affectionately, and made a new vow of love.
Through this show, they re-examine their own performance in marriage.
Those moments of mutual accusation and attack are really just trying to defend their position and trying to prove that they are right.
However, after calm reflection, they finally realized:
More important than right or wrong is that you still love each other deeply.
To this end, they bravely dissected the problems in their marriage, abandoned the stubbornness and defensiveness of the past, and resolved to embrace each other again with a new attitude.
It is true that two people who love each other, even after a conflict, will still care about each other's feelings.
True love is not just about satisfying one's own needs, but about being able to transcend oneself and understand each other.
Driven by love, we know how to empathize more, and we know how to look at problems from each other's perspective and surrender part of ourselves.
This kind of love allows us to no longer be stubborn in contradictions, but to be willing to listen openly, understand and accept each other's differences.
Rather than please, it is better to please yourself
Carnegie said:
"Happiness does not depend on the generosity of others, but on earning the needs and affection of others for you. ”
Some people will cater to the expectations of others in order to pursue love, blindly giving, and even sacrificing themselves.
However, such happiness is like a castle built on the beach, when the waves hit, when the will of others changes slightly, it will dissipate without a trace in an instant.
In the final analysis, a truly beautiful relationship must go both ways.
Like a person, it should not be blind catering and endless giving, but on the basis of maintaining personality independence and equality, go hand in hand and grow together.
It is better to please yourself than to please, and if you bloom, butterflies will come.
When we learn to truly love and value ourselves, we will naturally exude a unique charm and attract those who truly appreciate and respect us.
In this way, we can maintain our dignity and value, and can shine in love.
Such a relationship will be stable and long-lasting.
If there is one person in this world who is worthy of your lifelong please, it is undoubtedly the unique and irreplaceable self.
Don't force yourself, don't compromise on everything, because only by sticking to our own path can we find our own eternal happiness.
May your love be like a clear spring, stirring up layers of ripples in your partner's heart, and that deep affection will last forever and never fade.
— END —