A mom turned to an education expert for help and spoke out about her troubles:
My son Liangliang just started kindergarten, and he began to have a heavy comparison mentality.
Some time ago, his father drove him to school, and when he was still more than a hundred meters away from the school, he suddenly asked his father to stop and walk to kindergarten by himself. Dad was very happy, thinking that his son had grown up, so he came to share it with me.
I thought so at first, but when his dad drove him home, he looked unhappy. I thought he had a quarrel with a child, so I deliberately asked him, "Liangliang, was he bullied in kindergarten?"
He shook his head, and I asked him repeatedly, and he said, "Mom, why isn't Dad the big boss? Why isn't Daddy's car a BMW or an Audi?
My son's casual words surprised me, how can such a young child have such a heavy comparison mentality?
In fact, this kind of thing happens to many little boys. They all want to win over others, they don't want to be worse than others, that's why they're a little vain.
This has something to do with the environment in which the little boy grew up. It is said that men love face, in fact, since the little boy, this tendency to love face has been obvious. For example, they often say, "My dad is bigger than your dad," "My family is richer than yours," and "My house is bigger than yours."
That's right, little boys with a lot of vanity and don't want to lose like to compare. However, over time, they may brag, lie, ask their parents for better things, and may even steal things.
Worse still, if a child is vain in comparison, they may value only material comforts rather than labor, learning, and morality, which can affect their values and morals. If a child has the wrong values and morals, it will be difficult for him to gain a foothold in society in the future. Therefore, parents must not indulge their children's comparison psychology.
So, what can parents do to help their children get rid of the psychology of comparison?
In fact, children can't blame them all, they are still young and don't know how to evaluate things. Therefore, parents should actively and timely guide them to help them get rid of the bad habits of vanity and comparison. If parents teach them the right values and morals, the child will become strong and no longer be influenced by the bad things.
My advice for young parents
Method 1: Don't be satisfied with excessive demands on boys
Once, a boy told his mother that he wanted to buy a new school bag. The mother said, "Don't you already have one?" and the boy said, "I want that new school bag with health care functions, and several of my classmates have it." When the mother heard this, she thought that the boy wanted to compare, so she didn't agree. The boy was a little upset and said, "If you buy it for me, I'll study hard." But his mother told him: "Studying is your own business, and it has nothing to do with whether you buy a schoolbag or not." ”
The boy sometimes has some excessive demands, and the parents cannot easily meet him, otherwise he will become more and more vain. If the boy asks for it, the parents should first think about why he wants this, and if it is just to compare with his classmates, then ignore him first and let him calm down for a few days. After he is sure that he really needs this item, discuss with him whether to buy it or not. In this way, the boy will not make excessive demands again.
Method 2: Teach boys not to compare
Sometimes, the boy will ask his parents, "Dad, how much do you make a month?" and the parents should be wary not to let him compare himself with his classmates. You can tell him: "People who make more money also pay more, and our family conditions are fine, but we have to continue to work hard and study in order to live a better life." ”
Such an answer can tell the boy not to always think about comparing himself to others, but to strive for a better life on his own. Moreover, such an answer can also make the boy proud, because he lives in a good family, and at the same time, he also knows to continue to work hard and contribute to the family.
Method 3: Correctly guide the boy's consumption concept
Some boys like to compare and only pay attention to whether they are high-end and whether they can be envied by others. For example, Tong Tong's best friend wants to celebrate his birthday, and he wants to give him a pair of expensive shoes, because he thinks it will show their friendship.
But in fact, the value of a gift is not how expensive it is, but whether it can express your heart. Sometimes, a hand-made gift or some practical help will make the other person more moved. Parents should tell the boy this truth, and don't let him always think about comparing himself with expensive gifts.
If you think my suggestions are useful, please like them, or share them with more parents!