Contributor: Anonymous Wenqing (Disclaimer: This article is not my own experience, it is the real experience of the contributor)
When I was young, I always fantasized about growing up, and after I grew up and fell in love, I fantasized about my life when I got married, but the reality was always unsatisfactory.
There will always be some quarrels between husband and wife, and there will always be a lot of very real problems between husband and wife.
That day I realized that my mother will always be my mother, and she is just my wife's mother-in-law.
At that time, my mother was hospitalized in the hospital for physical reasons, and I was constantly running between the hospital and the hospital, and I was under the pressure of work, and I was physically and mentally exhausted.
But I didn't expect my wife to tell me at this time that he was going to take my mother-in-law on a trip, and now she doesn't know about the situation at home.
I couldn't afford to argue with her, and she wasn't talking to me about it, because the plane tickets had already been bought.
At that time, I knew that in her eyes, my mother would definitely never be as good as her family, and that day my father-in-law was hospitalized, and I learned the news and took my mother out on a road trip.
01
My wife and I have been married for more than 20 years, and during this time, there are always quarrels over some small issues, and every time it is her fault or mine, I will bow my head and admit my mistake first.
It was as if I had become a habit with her, and every time there was an argument, even if she knew it was her fault, he would still wait for me to apologize to her, and then she was going down the stairs.
Every time I had a fight, I would be alone for a while to stabilize my emotions and then go to her, and at that time there was already a big problem.
Such emotions will accumulate in my heart every time, and if it really comes to the day of the outbreak, maybe the marriage between the two of us will come to an end.
It seems that since we got married, the two of us have never sat together and talked well, every day is firewood, rice, oil and salt, the child is long and the child is short, I don't care about the child, I don't care about his study, and there is her family's affairs, as well as my family's affairs.
A lot of hearts that can't be, get married with great fanfare and spend a lot of money, and after spending it, there is no money after getting married, and they start to make money desperately, mortgage and car loans, spend money to raise children after giving birth, and when the children grow up, they have to prepare for the marriage money for the children in the future.
In the blink of an eye, it is now time to provide for my parents, and I am now gradually beginning to understand why so many young people now get married without children, or are not willing to marry at all.
Now although the two of us are husband and wife, they are very much like the most familiar strangers, have breakfast together in the morning, the two of them start a day's work, go home from work in the evening, and eat together is also a mobile phone.
Until I went to bed, the two of them didn't talk and played their own Douyin, and life didn't seem to be like this, but my pressure was getting bigger and bigger, and the cost of my children going to college was higher than ever.
Moreover, my mother has been in poor health for the past two days, so I often take my mother to the hospital for physical check-ups, while my wife only calls to ask if anything is wrong.
On that day, my mother's condition deteriorated and she had to be hospitalized for observation, so I took leave to take care of my mother in the hospital every day, and my wife only brought the child to see her once in a month.
I came that day with two cartons of milk, which really made me laugh, and my wife came to see my mother with gifts, what does that mean?
When the time for leave came, I had to come from work every day, during which my relatives or father would take care of me, and I often didn't go home when my mother was hospitalized.
Once, I was a little tired of being in the hospital for several days, so I went home after work to rest, but unexpectedly, my wife told me that day that she was going to take my mother-in-law on a trip.
Before I could say anything, she said: I bought a plane for 5 p.m. tomorrow, and you can come back and take us to the airport when you have time.
I was so helpless that I didn't bother to argue with her about anything, I didn't say anything and turned around and walked to the bedroom, and my wife followed behind and asked me if I heard.
I just weakly replied "Got it".
I don't think my wife is stupid, I don't think she doesn't understand anything, but why did she choose to take her mother-in-law out on a trip at this time, in order to be angry with me?
My mother was sick, she took her mother out in style, the medical bill in the hospital was almost overwhelming, and he took the rest of the money to take his mother-in-law on a trip.
Fortunately, my anger disappeared with my mother's discharge, and this time my mother's illness really made my mother go through the ghost gate.
My mother was discharged from the hospital, her condition improved, so that I had a feeling of loss and recovery, I went out to travel for so many days and posted photos in the circle of friends every day, I was too lazy to look at it, but I also reminded her to let her remember to block it for our family.
Because I didn't want to make me an enemy at home because of her, my wife spent a week on this trip, during which I lived a very comfortable life on my own.
When I went to pick her up that day, I hurriedly said that she would take me to the hospital.
I didn't know what was going on, but in the car I learned that my father-in-law had been hospitalized because of a stroke, and when I heard the news, my first reaction was "retribution is coming".
Then I quickly stopped this thought, although my relationship with my wife is a little delicate now, but he is still my father-in-law, but thinking about what my wife did before, I am really angry.
After arriving at the place, I stayed with my wife and mother-in-law in the hospital until the evening, when I took my wife home, leaving my mother-in-law and relatives to take care of my father-in-law.
When I got home, I told my wife: I am going to take my mother on a trip in the next two days, and my mother's illness has let me know that I may not have much time to spend with her, and I want to take her out to see.
I could tell that my wife was very angry when she heard that I was going to take my mother on a trip, because I knew that my father-in-law was in the hospital and was still taking my mother on a trip.
But this was exactly what she did, she was very angry, and her panting became very rapid, but she was powerless to refute it.
I just want to treat others in the way of others, but I still can't let go of her in my heart, and she can really withstand such pressure without my help at home alone.
In the end, I endured the inner torment and took my mother and father on a trip, which seemed to have never been far away in my life.
My father and mother must not have known the news of my father-in-law's hospitalization, and even my wife took my mother-in-law on a trip at that time.
My mother and father were also very understanding and didn't say anything, and now when I take them on a trip, they are also asking why my wife didn't come with me, and I still use the excuse that I am still working hard for my career.
My father said to me: money can never be earned, you must not let work fill your whole life, you can't work well if you don't live well, but if you don't work well, it doesn't mean that you can't live well, you must take life as your main business, work as a side business, you work hard at the same time, isn't it just to live well.
Yes, when I got married, I was always trying my best to make money, as if I was going to work every day in addition to work, working hard for my children's growth, working hard for my children's studies, working hard for my children to get married in the future, and working hard for my parents to provide for the elderly.
When is the time that really belongs to me, in this tour, I put my whole body into relaxation, not thinking about anything, these days, I seem to have found the shadow of my childhood, carefree, thinking about nothing.
Wherever I went, I didn't think about what to do next, and this state of life made me smile on my rigid face for a long time.
I could feel that I always had a smile on my face for those days, and during that time, even when I was sleeping, I had sweet dreams.
And in those days of travel, I turned off my mobile phone and completely disconnected from the outside world, and in the days of travel, everything was my father's treat, and at that moment I really felt like I was back when I was a child.
A man in his 40s would be coquettish in front of his father and let his father follow me to have supper at night!
Happy days are always very short-lived, but this time when I came home, my mentality changed a lot, and this time when I came home, my wife couldn't help but hug me and cry when she saw me.
Without me, I can certainly imagine how much pressure my wife is under, and she finally understands how wrong her approach is.
After coming back this time, my wife and I were finally able to sit down and talk about the problems between the two of us, and the biggest problem between husband and wife was the lack of communication.
One party always thinks that the other party's contribution is all due, but the happiness of a family or the life of two people will always depend on two people to maintain.
When my mother was sick, she could ignore it, and when his father was sick, I could ignore it, and that was hurting the feelings of both parties.
After we came back this time, the two of us sat down and talked about it, but I still took care of her father every day, and she began to take care of my emotions all the time.
Anything that happened between the two of us after that, we would sit down and talk about it, instead of apologizing as I thought, and the relationship between us as a couple gradually eased.
To say that the previous relationship between the two of us was the most familiar stranger, and now the relationship between the two of us can be said to be an invincible brotherhood.
The two of us would sit together and drink and brag, we would drink tea and chat together, and we would never argue about anything, but the two of us would rush to apologize.
Now this state of life is what husband and wife should have, and I have been married for more than 20 years and more than 10 years, and my wife and I have never held hands again.
Now after the two of us change, as long as we go out, we will hold hands, even my son, I can clearly find that after the relationship between me and my wife is better, my son's personality has become very sunny.
My son was always silent before, but he could naturally see that there was a problem in the relationship between me and my wife, so his personality was always taciturn and unwilling to communicate with the two of us.
Now that we are a happy family of three, I am very fortunate that my wife and I have not made such a change and not gone to the worst step.