As a post-70s generation, they are all in their forties and fifties, and they are facing several major events at the moment.
First, our children have just reached adulthood and need the capital to start a family.
Second, we ourselves are getting older, and we can't count on our children to support us.
Third, most of the old parents were born in the countryside and have not retired, so they need us to support them.
Fourth, I have struggled for most of my life and have a little savings, but I am really tired, and when I struggle, I will be unable to do it.
The current major events are basically related to money, and how to deal with them depends on the pattern of life.
If we are like the previous generation, when we are seventy or eighty years old, and let our children pay alimony, most of us will be disappointed; we use all our money to support our children, which is the heart of parents, but the end and set limits may be the opposite.
01
Relying only on children to provide for the elderly, most of them will be disappointed.
Look at our parents, most of them are post-50s and post-40s, and most of them are in rural areas.
My second aunt and second uncle have spent their lives farming in the ravines, raising pigs, feeding cattle, helping people build houses in their spare time, and doing odd jobs in small towns.
The second aunt had three children, two sons and one daughter.
Before the second aunt turned 50 years old, almost all of her income was turned into tuition and miscellaneous fees to support her three children in school.
The two sons went to technical school, and the daughter went to university.
When the three children mixed in society, the second aunt tried her best to save money and marry a daughter-in-law for her two sons.
When the eldest son got married, the second aunt gave more than 30,000 yuan. But the eldest son thought that the money was too small and looked unhappy.
When the youngest son got married, the second aunt gave 40,000 yuan, and when the younger son bought a house in the city, he went to decorate and work for free for a month.
When her daughter got married, the second aunt really couldn't do anything about it, so she just paid a few thousand yuan for the bed.
In a flash, the second aunt will be sixty years old. Relying on raising chickens and feeding pigs, he successively deposited about 20,000 yuan, and then entered the pension stage of "sickness".
When the second aunt and the second uncle were alive, no matter how hard it was, they didn't ask their children to give a penny of alimony, they all carried it by themselves, and the few acres of land at the door were in charge of rations, and the vegetable field next to the old house was in charge of the dishes. If you are sick or not, you should take care of it yourself, and if you go to the hospital for a major illness, you can't spend too much money depending on the situation.
Later, the second uncle died of illness, and the second aunt entered the age of walking and was penniless.
How to make the second aunt live a little more decently in her old age, the three children discussed, but there was no specific result. Because everyone thinks that they suffer the most, and they are the ones whose parents least favor them.
The eldest son said, "I didn't buy a house in the city, it's difficult." ”
The youngest son said, "I bought a house, but I still have debts." ”
The daughter said, "I'm a foreign-married person, and I don't want any inheritance from my hometown." ”
In the end, the second aunt was supported by three children in turn, and lived in a small family for a month. But at the end of the month, the next one may not be on time. If the second aunt is sick, the medical expenses are a big problem.
I have to say that handing over the task of providing for the elderly to the children is "desperate", and most of them are unreliable.
You must know that the people of the previous generation had at least a few children, no matter how they said, they could make up for it; in our generation, most of them were one child, or two children, and there were many pure female households, and they had to rely on children, which must be even more unreliable.
After the 70s, our pension problem is also imminent. Don't wait until you're sixty years old to remember that you're not ready for anything. The single way of relying on children to provide for the elderly, once it fails, the face is abandoned, and the signs of surviving come in one go.
02
Learn the "rabbit law" and keep a hand in the elderly, so that the evening will not be bleak.
How can we ensure happiness in old age? The fundamental thing is the preparation and arrangement of people in middle age.
After 70, at the age of forty or fifty, it will take more than ten years to prepare the necessities for the elderly, no matter how filial the children are, how good they are, don't rely on them, it will be much better.
We need to learn more about the "rabbit law".
There is a term called "three holes of cunning rabbits". In order to live safely, even if the safety of the burrow is 95%, the rabbit will build two other burrows.
With three caves, the safety factor can be as high as 99% or more.
In short, never put all your eggs in one basket, and don't put all the backers of the elderly on your children.
By analogy, we can't rely on the house and all the savings for the elderly...... Relying on one thing to support old age is definitely not good.
The world is complex and changeable, and human nature is even more complex. You have to be risk-aware.
If one is unreliable, then you have another, and it won't be enough to survive.
Specifically, it is recommended that the post-70s generation have the following preparations for the elderly, and do not give all the capital in their hands to their children.
First, you should pay your own pension insurance and be able to retire at the age of 60. No matter what happens, a pension is the minimum living security.
Second, force your children to be independent, instead of supporting them all the time, even if your children get married, you should not hollow out your old foundation and have reservations.
Third, you must have your own old house, if you don't buy a house in the city, then the house in your hometown can be accommodated if you repair it.
Fourth, you must be kind to your partner, and if you work together, you can still have a certain amount of savings before the age of 60.
Fifth, don't believe too much in statements like "people who don't fit in are tigers", and be moderately social. It is necessary to guard against a situation where children travel far to earn a living, and the elderly stay at home. Distant relatives are not as good as close neighbors, and this truth needs to be understood.
03
Life is like a new chess game, take one step and see ten steps, only then can you know how good your old age is.
Minimizing the risk of retirement is like a rabbit giving itself multiple burrows. Maybe the other two caves have never been used, but they can't be without.
Just like the money in our hands, we may not be able to spend it in this life, but it doesn't matter, there is a surplus in a lifetime, and the money will be spent when we are still more than people, which should be more gratifying.
Parents of the post-70s generation have exhausted their efforts for their children, but don't expect them to be able to feed anything back. I am the biggest backer in this life.
If we are prepared not to be filial to our children, then when we are old, our children are still filial, and it will be an unexpected surprise.
When people are old, they have to have "double insurance" for the elderly, right?
Author: Cloth Clothes Coarse Food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The pictures in the article come from the Internet.