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My husband Li Ming and I have been married for five years, and we have always gotten along quite well. Although there will inevitably be some small frictions in life, we still understand each other and support each other. It wasn't until this year's Singles' Day that I realized that the rift between me and him was getting bigger and bigger.
On that day, we went shopping together to get ready for the holiday. On the way, Li Ming suddenly said that he was going to buy his mother a coat of 20,000 yuan as a gift. I thought it was strange at the time, how could he be willing to spend so much money at once, when our usual expenses were not too high? I hesitated for a moment, but still asked him, "Do you really want to spend 20,000 yuan to buy a coat? That's a lot of money." "
After hearing this, Li Ming smiled and said, "It's okay, it's my mother's birthday, I want to surprise her." You see, you don't have any big items to buy lately, so let me buy my mom a good one at once. "
I was a little uneasy, but I didn't say much. We continued shopping, and finally I picked out a dress that I liked and wanted to buy back to wear. But when I told Li Ming, he frowned: "This dress is only 500 yuan, do you really want to buy it? I don't think it looks very good." "
I was a little disappointed, but I patiently said, "I really like this dress, and it looks good in it." 500 isn't too expensive for us, is it?"
Li Ming was silent for a while, and finally reluctantly took out his wallet and paid me. I looked at his expression and felt more and more uncomfortable. I know he's not stingy, it's just that he's been under a lot of pressure lately, and he may be a little uneasy. But no matter what, I still feel like he's getting colder and colder to me.
After returning home, I kept thinking about what Li Ming had done. He was willing to spend 20,000 yuan to buy a coat for his mother, but he was reluctant to buy my 500 yuan dress, which hurt me very much. The two of us have always been equal, and no one has ever prevailed or been neglected. But now, I feel like I've been snubbed by him.
I cautiously raised this question with Li Ming: "Ming, haven't we always shared expenses equally before, why are you so stingy with me today?"
Li Ming sighed and said, "Wife, don't be too sensitive. My mom is about to have a birthday, and I want to surprise her, and it's understandable to spend this money. Besides, you don't need anything special lately, and 500 is nothing to us. "
"However, I also need your care and consideration. I said a little sadly, "Even if it's 500 yuan, you can't give it to me." Haven't we been living together all the time, why don't you even think about my feelings?"
Li Ming was silent for a while, and finally said, "I'm sorry, I've been too busy with work recently, and I may have neglected to take care of you." But as you know, my mom is old, and our family values her very much. You have to believe me, I'm not cold to you, it's just that I've been under a lot of pressure lately. "
Hearing this, my mood is slightly better. I know that Li Ming is a family-oriented person and is very good to his family. But I still couldn't help but feel sour in my heart, feeling as if I had been left out by my family.
Li Ming was stunned for a moment after hearing this, and then said with some displeasure: "Wife, my mother has been working hard for us all her life, what is this money? Why do you always care about this? If it weren't for me, would you still have today's living conditions?"
I was stung by his words, and tears flowed involuntarily. The two of us quarreled over the matter, and in the end we broke up.
When I got home, the more I thought about it, the more sad I became. I don't understand why Li Ming is willing to give so much money to his family, but he is so stingy and cold to my wife? We are obviously a loving couple, and our feelings should be equal. But now, I feel like a neglected outsider.
I sat at home alone, thinking about whether to file for divorce from Li Ming. The two of us have been together for so many years, and it is true that we occasionally quarrel over trivial things, but we have never felt so alienated and insecure as we do now.
I know that Li Ming values his family very much, and this has always been his character. But I feel like his emphasis on me is slowly disappearing. Didn't we always understand and support each other, but now he seems to only care about his own family and ignore me as a wife.
I couldn't help but take out my phone and send a message to Li Ming: "Ming, we need to talk about it." I feel very upset and neglected right now. Don't we, as husband and wife, have equal rights?"
In the evening, Li Ming came home as promised, and we sat down to talk about it.
"Ming, I'm really sad. We've been together for so many years, and I've never felt like an outsider being left out by you. Don't you value me at all?" My tears flowed involuntarily.
Li Ming frowned and said, "Wife, don't be like this. You know the one I care about most is you. I've just been too busy with work lately, and I may not care about your feelings, but my love for you has always been there. "
"But why are you so stingy with me? You are willing to spend 20,000 yuan for your mother to buy a coat, but you are not willing to buy me even my 500 yuan dress. Don't you think it's unfair?" I choked up.
Li Ming sighed and said, "Wife, I know you may think that I don't pay enough attention to you. But you have to believe that I am the same to my family as I am to you. You are the most important person to me, and I will never ignore you. I've just been too busy lately and may not be able to control my emotions a little. I will reflect on it and will definitely be more considerate of you in the future. "
Hearing his explanation, my mood finally improved a little. I know that Li Ming is a person who values love and righteousness, and he will not really ignore me. We love each other and tolerate each other. Maybe I was too sensitive and over-interpreted his behavior.
"Okay, I see. We should communicate more in the future, and don't be unhappy because of some small things. We are husband and wife, and we should understand and support each other. I wiped my tears and hugged Li Ming gently.
"Well, we must cherish each other. I love you, wife. Li Ming hugged me tightly, and the warm feeling made me feel reassured.
Maybe I'm too sensitive, and the conflict between us is not as serious as I thought. As long as we trust each other and communicate more, I believe that our relationship will definitely become better.
After talking to Li Ming, I slowly eased my dissatisfaction with him. I know that there are some problems between us, but as long as we understand and tolerate each other, I believe that everything will be fine.
A few days later, on Double 11, Li Ming offered to buy a coat for his mother. I hesitated, but then said, "Ming, can we get a slightly cheaper gift?" I also want to buy my mom a new dress. "
Li Ming looked at me, thought for a while, and said, "Wife, I know that you have also been interested recently, but your mother is also old, and I want to buy her a better quality dress." Your mom understands our situation, and I'm sure she won't mind. "
Hearing this, I fell silent. I was thinking about whether or not to put forward my thoughts again. In the end, I decided to obey Li Ming's wishes, after all, our lives are indeed not rich.
Li Ming smiled and said, "Don't worry, I know how to measure." Let's go pick a gift together. "
We went to the mall together, and Li Ming quickly chose a costly coat. I looked at his happy face, and I couldn't help but feel a little sour. I wish he had been more attentive and considerate to me as a wife.
But I also know that married life is not always smooth sailing, and there is always a need for mutual understanding and compromise. I tried to adjust my mindset and try to come to terms with what was happening.
Just as we were about to check out, I saw a dress that I loved. The color is beautiful and the style is very much in line with my taste. I subconsciously said, "Ming, I like this dress so much, can you buy me one too?"
Li Ming was stunned for a moment, and then said with some embarrassment: "Wife, didn't you just buy one? This dress is also quite expensive, let's focus on buying gifts for your mother." "
I was a little disappointed, but nodded anyway and said, "Okay then, then don't buy it." Let's hurry up and check out and go home. "
When I was checking out, I secretly glanced at the price tag, and the coat cost more than 20,000 yuan! Obviously our financial situation is not rich, why did he spend so much money to buy such a valuable gift for his mother?
After returning home, I couldn't help but put forward my thoughts to Li Ming: "Ming, I know that you value your family very much, and I have always understood this. But I think we still need to save some money on living expenses. Why do you want to buy such an expensive coat for your mother? We need to plan our living expenses well. "
Li Ming was silent for a while, and then said, "Wife, you don't have to worry too much. I've always managed our living expenses well. Buying this coat for my mom is just a little bit of my heart, and it doesn't affect our lives. You have to trust me, I won't do anything to be sorry for you. "
I know that Li Ming is right, he has always been responsible for our living expenses. But I still can't help but feel a little aggrieved. Why is it that he is not willing to fulfill my little wish, but he can spend so much money for others?
"Ming, you know I'd love to buy my mom a new dress too. But you can't even pay me a 500 yuan skirt, but you can spend more than 20,000 yuan for your mother. I really feel like you don't value me as much as your family. "My tears welled up again.