There is a saying:
"The length of life is not under one's control, but the quality of life can be controlled by oneself. ”
In many cases, the reason why people suffer is not because of their lack of ability, but because they are accustomed to seeing people and things around them with colored mirrors, so as to fall into internal friction.
If you want to improve the quality of life and make life prosperous, you can start by throwing away these 4 mirrors.
Don't use binoculars to spy on other people's privacy
Aristotle said, "Indulging one's own desires is the greatest evil, and talking about the privacy of others is the greatest evil." ”
Prying into someone's privacy is like revealing their scars, not only hurting others, but also eating yourself.
In the novel "The Sea of Life", the story of Colonel Jiang Zhengnan is alarming.
After retiring from the army, the colonel lived in seclusion in Shuangjia Village, where he was in the prime of life, but refused to marry.
This caused speculation among the villagers: whether the colonel was a eunuch or not?
Faced with suspicion, the colonel gave no explanation.
This only aroused everyone's curiosity even more.
Later, the colonel was imprisoned by a man nicknamed "Little Blind Man".
The little blind man could actually see, because his father couldn't see, so everyone called him the little blind man.
Knowing that the colonel loved to drink, the little blind man specially invited him to drink, and took the opportunity to get him drunk and forcibly peeked into his privacy.
As a result, the colonel was awakened, and in a fit of rage, he cut the tongue of the little blind man with a knife, picked at his tendons, and fled.
It turned out that when the colonel was undercover, he was tattooed with insulting words by the enemy.
In order to maintain his dignity, he had to remain single.
And the little blind man insisted on snooping on the colonel's privacy, not only making himself a crippled person, but also forcing the colonel to become a wanted criminal.
Everyone has their own secret garden, surrounded by thorns, to protect it from outsiders. If you insist on going your own way, and you want to invade, you will surely be wounded by thorns.
As the saying goes:
"Be wary that behind that veil of mystery may not be the secret that satisfies your curiosity, but the poisonous snake that bites you. ”
The key to avoiding disaster lies in whether you can keep the line and extend your gaze to other people's lives without using a telescope.
Practicing caution, self-love and respect for others is an important way to protect oneself from disasters.
Source: Visual China
Don't use a microscope to study your own shortcomings
There is a "longboard effect" in management:
If you put the best out of what you're good at and stick to it, you'll be able to build your competitive advantage.
Only by playing to your strengths and avoiding your weaknesses will it be easier to stand out.
American singer Keith Deli has a beautiful and moving singing voice, but she is always entangled in her buckteeth that will affect her image in the hearts of the audience.
In order to hide her buckteeth, she always brushes her upper lip down when she sings.
However, this not only affects her singing, but also makes her look ridiculous.
Mrs. Smith, the teacher, couldn't help but persuade her,
"Case, long buckteeth and don't sin, stop trying to cover it up, and bring your singing voice to the extreme is the best way to conquer the audience. ”
After listening to the teacher's words, Keith Dellie tried to turn her attention to her singing, no longer tangled in buckteeth, and began to relax her face and sing to her heart's content.
In this way, the audience reveled in her singing, and no one paid attention to her buckteeth.
With talent and hard work, Keith Delley quickly became a household name.
You see, when you begin to accept your imperfections, no longer use a microscope to magnify your shortcomings, but do your best to play to your strengths, life will usher in new vitality and possibilities.
In this regard, Konosuke Matsushita once warned us:
"The key to success in life is to manage your own personality strengths, which can add value to your life, otherwise you will devalue your life. ”
In today's fast-paced society, blindly making up for shortcomings will only waste time and miss opportunities.
Only by seizing the opportunity and giving full play to the expertise can we better seize the opportunity and form a competitive advantage.
A true wise man will not make unnecessary consumption on his shortcomings, but pour his limited energy into what he is good at.
When your longboard is long enough and strong enough, you will naturally have the confidence to create a better life.
Source: Visual China
Don't use the rearview mirror to regurgitate past regrets
When it comes to actor Ma Guangru, many people can't help but sigh.
Ma Guangru was originally a drama actor, and was later selected by the crew of "Dream of Red Mansions" to become Jia Baoyu's alternate actor.
The director believes that his appearance is feminine and beautiful, and his performance is rich and delicate, making him the best candidate to play Jia Baoyu.
Ma Guangru himself is bound to win this role.
However, when the shooting started, he suddenly had a lot of acne on his face, which seriously affected his appearance.
The director could only replace him and arrange for him to play Jia Rui.
Although Ma Guangru was unwilling, he could only obey the arrangement.
Unexpectedly, he portrayed the role of Jia Rui very brilliantly, and became famous overnight.
But he failed to play Jia Baoyu, and Ma Guangru was always haunted in his heart.
He often lamented his bad luck and burst into tears for missing out on Jia Baoyu.
He memorized Jia Baoyu's lines backwards, thinking that he was Jia Baoyu himself.
One day, under the paralysis of alcohol, he actually confessed to "Sister Lin" Chen Xiaoxu without distinguishing between people and plays, and after being rejected, he committed suicide to express his intentions.
Ma Guangru has good looks and acting skills, and he could have made a name for himself in the entertainment industry, but he frequently looked back at the past and couldn't extricate himself from the past.
Eventually, due to depression and alcoholism, his health deteriorated, and he died of illness at the age of 32.
Regret hurts, but it is only overnight, and it will be over. Tragedy often occurs when we constantly regurgitate through the rearview mirror and refuse to look ahead.
Tao Yuanming said: "Realize the past and do not admonish, and know that the future can be traced." ”
Life is not as expected, dwelling on the past, chewing back and forth, just like repeatedly picking open a wound, will only allow yourself to be hurt repeatedly.
Only by throwing away the rearview mirror, returning the past to the past, returning the future to the future, and living in the present, can we discover more opportunities and meet the beauty unexpectedly.
Source: Visual China
Don't use a magnifying glass to exaggerate the suffering of the moment
Psychologist Albert Ellis once came up with a concept: catastrophic thinking.
It is said that in the face of unfavorable situations in life, some people will magnify it infinitely and eventually let themselves fall into despair.
The weak are considered to have suffered a lot of hardships in life when they suffer a little setback, while the strong can still laugh at the storms and waves.
Su Shi became famous at a young age, and his career was smooth, and he was called "the prime minister's material" by Song Renzong.
However, due to opposition to the change, Su Shi's situation took a sharp turn for the worse.
Official positions have been degraded again and again until they are no longer degradable.
During this period, Su Shi had no fixed place to live, he was hungry, and his beloved wife and young son died one after another.
The frustration of the career, the departure of relatives, and the barrenness of life are enough for any ordinary person to collapse.
Su Shi accepted everything with an open-minded mind and an optimistic attitude.
In the face of the ups and downs of life, he was detached: "Bamboo canes and shoes are lighter than horses, who is afraid? ”
Being in a foreign country, he was at peace with what he encountered: "I asked if Lingnan should be good, but he said, this place of peace is my hometown." ”
His optimism is not only reflected in his poems, but also in his actions:
If he had no house to live in, he would cut down bamboo and build a house, if he had nothing to eat, he would reclaim the land, if he was hungry, he would make his own food, and when he was lonely, he would travel with his friends.
Suffering seems to have only enriched the story of him, but it has never added a little wind and frost to his heart.
Su Shi's concept not only helped him survive the darkest moment of his life, but also made us understand in later generations:
In the sea of life, only by crossing oneself can there be a way out.
If emotions are allowed to amplify the suffering of the moment, life will eventually sink.
The more twists and turns in the journey of life, the more scenery you see.
Lin Yutang said: "The reason why people are sad is because they can't see far enough. Before the future comes, how can we know that the so-called predicament of the present is not a good thing. ”
Life is a long journey, not a station, when we look far, we will find that a moment of difficulty is a springboard to overcome self and sublimate ability.
Throw away the magnifying glass of suffering, the more difficult it is, the more you have to practice. The hardships you endure and the tiredness you suffer now are all paving the way for the future.
Source: Visual China
Writer Thackeray said:
"Life is a mirror, and when you smile at it, it smiles at you, and when you cry at it, it cries at you. ”
What kind of state of mind you live in will have what kind of life you have.
Be mindful and accept the good and bad in life, and those "colored mirrors" that affect you will disappear.
Encourage you.
Artist: Yi Yanagi.