Written by / First Psychology Writers
Editor / Tommy
Intergenerational relationships
Did you find a problem, while the festive atmosphere brought excitement to people, many problems that existed before and now were also exposed?
Taking the Spring Festival as an example, the lunar New Year has just passed, and the Jiachen Year has arrived, and for many young people who work outside the home and students who are still on university campuses, "Chinese New Year" also means "going home", and it also means returning to their original families to live for a period of time.
Perhaps one of the most striking problems during this time has been the resurgence of difficulties in the process of getting along between young people and their parents.
According to the descriptions of many netizens, when they return to their hometown or live in their original family again, many problems will become obstacles to communication between themselves and their parents, including but not limited to the following:
When this happens, the originally happy festive atmosphere will be spoiled by some bickering and quarrels, and even affect the relationship between family members during the short Spring Festival holiday.
Ms. Li, 30, said that she usually works in the provincial capital and does not spend much time at home during the holidays.
But in a short period of time, there will be a lot of quarrels with her parents over work, emotions and future plans, etc., originally after a year of hard work, she felt physically and mentally exhausted, and returned home with a desire for physical and emotional comfort.
But shortly after returning home, she said, the relationship with her parents had reached a point where she was "irritated when she heard them talk."
So why do so many people have this problem, and is it really impossible for two people to coexist "peacefully"?
In fact, many times, when you hear your parents talk, you feel irritable and have a nameless fire, in fact, it is not that you dislike or hate your parents, nor that you are impatient and have a bad temper, this is actually a normal reflex.
Behind the generation gap, it is not only the difference in concepts
The concept was originally used to describe groups of people who were born and lived in different generations, who had very different thoughts, values, lifestyles, etc., because of the different influences they received from each other in the process of growing up, and in several generations of the same family, this difference can lead to differences in family relationships and parent-child patterns.
The promotion of this concept has also made many people begin to understand the inevitability of the difference between the elders and the younger generations.
However, in today's social life, the causes of generational differences are not only at the level of ideas and concepts, but also a process of accumulation over a long period of time.
We know that the growth of young people and the relationship between generations does not happen overnight.
Especially in our social life, the mode of getting along between the elders and the younger generations is relatively a continuation of the order of respect and inferiority of the elders and the young in traditional Chinese culture.
Therefore, in the long process of getting along, the mode of getting along between the two generations often follows the principle of "the elders have the final say".
It is true that as the younger generations, especially their children, gradually mature physically and psychologically, they will form their own three views and ways of doing things, and the contradictions between the two generations will gradually become apparent.
We can summarize the growth trajectory of most children in China -
This also means that for two generations, for almost a dozen years, one of the parents (parents) is in charge and the other (children) is obedient. In just a few years after that, it is necessary to complete a transformation of the younger generation to be independent and no longer listen to the opinions of the elders.
This hasty shift is not enough time for both sides. Therefore, many families will gradually have conflicts at this time, and many children will give back to their parents a lot of depression and unhappiness accumulated in the process of growing up.
Sometimes there is even a nameless fire because of some words from parents, which is actually a conditioned reaction.
Even when you receive pressure from them and feel depressed because your parents don't get along well, they don't realize that it can have a huge impact on you.
At the same time, in the eyes of your parents, your reaction is like that of a child who was originally obedient to his or her words, and suddenly "does not listen to himself".
Coupled with the existence of filial piety culture in traditional Chinese culture, many young people will fall into a very tangled situation.
In fact, when we think about it clearly, it is not difficult to understand this situation. If you want to communicate with your parents, you should avoid disputes as much as possible and put yourself in the other person's shoes.
-The End -
The First Psychological Writing Group | A group of young people who like to look up at the stars
Keywords in this article: generation gap, psychology
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