Ladies and gentlemen, before reading, I would like to remind you that although this article is interesting and philosophical, it is for entertainment reference only, and you should not be superstitious!
As the saying goes, "If you raise a child at the age of 100, you will be worried about 99 years old."
This means that even if the child has grown up and even lived to be 100 years old, parents will still worry about them, and this worry will continue for the child's entire life.
This sentence may have originated from "the old mother is 100 years old, often thinking of 80 children" in the "Song of Persuasion of Filial Piety", and was later changed to the saying "raising a child at the age of 100, long-term sorrow is 99", which more directly expresses the parents' long-term care and worry for their children.
For example, some parents still worry about their children's work, marriage, life, and other aspects when they become adults. Even if their children have lived independently, parents will still often tell them to pay attention to safety and take care of their health, and this kind of meticulous care is the true portrayal of "raising a child at the age of 100 and worrying for 99".
In reality, 50-year-old middle-aged people, after half a lifetime of ups and downs, wealth may not be the top priority, but the growth of their children always affects their hearts. If a child has the following five conditions, that is their true sorrow.
The first is the child's lack of independence.
When people reach middle age, they often think about the growth of their children. I hope that they can stand on the top of a pine mountain, self-reliance and self-improvement, but it backfires, and some children are like vines, overly dependent, and difficult to extricate themselves.
Recalling the ancient saying, "Heaven is strong, and the gentleman is constantly striving for self-improvement", but now children are like greenhouse flowers, withering after wind and rain, isn't it sad?
In the past, there was a good story of "Meng's mother moved three times", and Meng's mother did not hesitate to move three times to find a better place for her godson.
However, if their children lack independence and autonomy, will they not live up to their parents' good intentions? As the Tao Te Ching says: "If the great road is wasted, there is benevolence and righteousness; wisdom comes out and there is great hypocrisy." ”
If children are too dependent, they will lose their authenticity and independence, how can we talk about righteousness and wisdom?
In today's highly competitive society, if children are unable to face difficulties and challenges independently, how will they be able to stand in the future?
Gu Shiyun: "If the young man does not work hard, the boss is sad." "Children should temper themselves while they are young, so that they may be ready for emergencies. Otherwise, when the time comes, you will hate less, and you won't regret it too late?
Looking at the stories of ancient and modern celebrities, such as Zheng Banqiao's way of teaching his son, emphasizing self-reliance, his words are still in his ears: "Sweat yourself, eat your own food, and do your own things." Relying on heaven and earth and relying on ancestors, he is not a hero. This is a warning saying, which is worth pondering for every child.
Children have become "giant babies", and parents have to worry about everything:
Aunt Zhang's son Xiao Ming, two years after graduating from college, is still "gnawing at the old" at home.
Addicted to games every day, Aunt Zhang has to take care of her daily life. Whenever Aunt Zhang mentions her son, she is helpless and sad, and she is worried about how her son will live when she gets old.
If the children of a human being can understand this way, they can get rid of dependence and become a person who stands up to the heavens and the earth.
The second situation is that the child is estranged from his or her parents.
When people reach middle age, they often feel that their children are getting farther and farther away from themselves.
For some children, the gap between them and their parents seems to deepen as they get older.
It's no longer like when I was a child, surrounded by my parents all the time, sharing the bits and pieces of life. On the contrary, they prefer to close themselves off, immerse themselves in the virtual online world, and find their own piece of world.
In the past, there was a story of "Meng's mother broke the machine", and Meng's mother taught her son to study diligently, and finally made Mencius a generation of Confucianism. Can we now draw wisdom from this and find effective ways to communicate with our children?
"The Yellow Emperor's Neijing" has a saying: "Anger hurts the liver, joy hurts the heart, sorrow hurts the lungs, thoughts hurt the spleen, and fear hurts the kidneys." "The estrangement of children from their parents will undoubtedly bring endless sadness and anxiety to middle-aged people, affecting their physical and mental health.
As described in One Hundred Years of Solitude, the loneliness of the Buendía family is not only physical isolation, but also spiritual alienation. Isn't this exactly the true portrayal of many families in reality? Although parents and children live in the same house, they are like people from two worlds, and it is difficult for them to understand each other, and it is even more difficult for them to enter each other's hearts.
Looking at the stories of some celebrities in modern society, they have also faced communication problems with their children. However, through constant trial and hard work, they eventually found a way to build an intimate relationship with their children.
There is a galaxy between children and parents:
Uncle Li's daughter, Xiaofang, has rarely come home since she went to college, and she hangs up after a few hasty words every time she calls. Uncle Li wanted to understand his daughter's life, but he was always stopped by the sentence "You don't understand".
Looking at the life bits and pieces of his daughter sharing on social media, he felt more and more unfamiliar.
I would like to say that as long as both parties are willing to put in the effort, the gap between hearts and minds can be broken.
The third situation is that the children do not have the right values.
In today's materialistic world, some children indulge in glitz and glamour, pursuing material pleasures too much, but forgetting the call from the depths of their hearts.
Gu Shiyun: "Zhumen's wine and meat stink, and there are frozen bones on the road." Driven by blind comparison and vanity, they even do not hesitate to violate the bottom line of morality, just to pursue the illusory money and fame.
Recalling those heroes in ancient legends, such as Yue Fei and Guan Yu, they were loyal, upright, and adhered to morality, and were admired by future generations. If today's children can absorb the spirit of these heroes, how can they go astray?
The "Three Character Classic" says: "If jade is not cut, it will not be made, and people will not learn and will not know righteousness." "If children are not guided by correct values, they will be like uncarved jade, and it will be difficult to make a product.
Middle-aged people are heartbroken, worried about the future of their children, lest they go to the abyss of destruction.
In Crime and Punishment, the protagonist struggles between morality and sin, and finally chooses the path of redemption. Isn't this a warning to today's children? Where should they go at the crossroads of fame, fortune and morality?
In ancient and modern folk customs, the importance of morality is emphasized.
There is a proverb: "People cannot stand without virtue, and the country cannot prosper without virtue." "How can a person who does not have the right values gain a foothold in society, and how can he contribute to the country?
There is a deviation in the child's values:
Aunt Wang's daughter Xiaohong, in order to pursue famous brands and luxury goods, does not hesitate to borrow money to consume.
Every time I go home, I wear a famous brand, but I turn a blind eye to the plight of my family.
Aunt Wang felt sorry for her daughter and was even more worried that she would go astray.
There is no shortage of such children in life, it is really for nothing to study, if your income is not proportional to your consumption, the sad days in the future have not come, you say yes.
The fourth situation is that the children lack initiative.
In this era of rapid change, some children are stuck in a comfortable quagmire, content with the status quo and do not want to forge ahead.
Like a frog in warm water, it gradually loses the strength and willingness to jump, and it will be muddy all day long, and it will be a waste of youth.
I remember that the ancients once said: "If the young and strong do not work hard, the old man will be sad." Isn't this a profound warning to those young people who lack enterprising spirit? Without lofty ideals and aspirations, it is like a ship without a course, and will eventually lose its way in the ocean of life.
There is a cloud in the Analects: "Never get tired of learning, never tire of teaching." "Confucius and other old people are telling us that we should never be satisfied with learning, and we should be patient and tireless in teaching others. However, these children have lost their enthusiasm and pursuit for life and learning.
Think of the young people Tolstoy portrayed in War and Peace, who, despite being in the midst of war, still have dreams and pursuits, and are courageously forging ahead.
And our children, in the era of peace, have lost that precious enterprising spirit.
There is a folk proverb that says it well: "Striving without a goal is like an expedition in the dark." "These children are missing the beacon that leads them forward, and they are stuck on the road of life.
As middle-aged people, our expectations for our children are not only that they can live a stable life, but also that they can make a difference and realize their own value in life.
Children have no plan for the future, and they get by:
Uncle Zhao's son, Xiao Gang, did not continue his studies or look for a job after graduating from high school, and spent every day at home in a state of confusion.
Uncle Zhao saw his son so decadent, his heart was like a knife, he was worried about his son's future, and he was even more worried that he would have no one to rely on when he was old.
The last condition is that the child has problems with his or her health.
Since ancient times, a healthy body has always been regarded as the most valuable asset in life.
In real life, we have seen some children gradually have problems with their physical health due to bad habits or excessive life pressure.
This makes middle-aged people who are parents deeply saddened, and their hearts are like being cut by a knife as they watch their children struggle with their illness.
In ancient times, there is a story about the filial son Lao Laizi, in order to make his parents as happy as possible, although he is over 70 years old, he still often wears colorful clothes and holds a rattle to play like a child to win the happiness of his parents. Although this is a story about filial piety, it also tells us from one side that a healthy body is the cornerstone of filial piety.
Without a healthy body, how can we take care of and accompany our parents and fulfill our filial piety?
"The Yellow Emperor's Neijing" has a saying: "Work to cure the disease, not to cure the disease." This sentence emphasizes the importance of disease prevention.
As middle-aged people, they deeply hope that their children can absorb the wisdom of the ancients and pay attention to the prevention and maintenance of the body, instead of waiting for diseases to seek treatment.
The "Book of Filial Piety" also mentions: "The body is skinned, and the parents who receive it dare not destroy it." "Children's bodies are given by their parents, so cherishing and protecting their bodies is not only responsible for themselves, but also a kind of filial piety to their parents.
When children damage their health because of bad habits or stress, it is undoubtedly a disservice to parents.
It is hoped that children can truly realize the importance of health, cherish their own health, and stop their parents from worrying about their health problems.
In order to truly make the family full of laughter and enjoy the joy of family.
The child's health is lit up with a red light:
Uncle Chen's son, Xiaoqiang, stayed up late to play games for a long time, which caused his health to deteriorate.
Uncle Chen looked at his son's emaciated face and tired demeanor, and his heart was full of worry and helplessness.
These five situations may not be encountered by every family, but once they appear, they are enough to make a 50-year-old middle-aged person feel sad and helpless. How can they not feel heartache when they work so hard to raise their children, but in exchange for such a result?
However, life is always full of hope and turnarounds. As middle-aged people, we should face these problems positively, communicate openly with our children, and guide them to the right path in life.
We must also learn to let go and let our children face the challenges and difficulties of life independently. Only then can they truly grow and become independent.
Here, I would like to quote a famous saying of the ancients: "Parents love their children, and they have far-reaching plans." "As parents, we need to focus not only on our children's present, but also about their future.
I hope that every middle-aged person can face the growth of their children with an open mind and a wise vision, and welcome a better future together.