Bobbi and the boy he likes have been chatting for two weeks, and the two of them are chatting okay at the moment, and Bobbi will reply when he sends a message, but their chat belongs to a burst. For example, two people will chat for about ten minutes, and then today's day's chat will be over. The next day, Poppy took the initiative to initiate the topic, and the two of them chatted a few more words, and the chat for the day ended again.
Bobbi told me that every time she chatted with boys, it was indeed enjoyable, but she was embarrassed to pester boys all the time for fear of revealing her sense of need, so she only dared to talk lightly every day.
If Bobby really doesn't want to put herself in a low position and wants to have a good relationship with a guy, she just needs to do the following:
The first point is not to be too regular in the time of chatting.
For example, Bobby is every day at 2:00~3:00 p.m. and chats with each other while boys are free from work.
From now on, Bobby wants to break this time pattern, such as saying good morning to the guy in the morning, and then not continuing to talk.
When chatting with a guy at two or three o'clock in the afternoon, slow down the frequency of chatting, send messages at a longer interval, and finally end with a question sentence, for example, Bobbi can ask a boy a question that he is good at. After the boy answered, Poppy stopped answering.
After dinner in the evening, Poppy can say to the boy again, "Okay, thank you, I want to ask specifically, is it convenient for you?" If the boy doesn't reply, don't ask and wait for him to reply, and then continue talking.
This trick to control the pace of the chat can break the time limit of your chat with just one use.
The second point is that if you know each other well, you will mainly provide emotional value when chatting. If you don't know each other very well, like Poppy and the boys, then you can ask more questions while you chat. These areas must be what the guy is good at, or what he likes.
For example, if the other party is a movie enthusiast and he recommends a very good movie to you, you must tell him that the movie you recommend is too good, is there anything like it?
When you do the above two points, the relationship between you must be a little closer, usually you can pull a family routine, such as talking bad about the leader together, talk about each other's favorite food, so that the two of you can chat in a particularly good atmosphere, and then you can tease each other according to the situation.
At this stage, your goal is not to make the other person like you quickly, but to make the other person feel that there is a lot of common ground between you and him. Of course, if you are talented, you can also arouse the little gluttony in the hearts of boys at this stage.
Everyone should remember that unless the two of you already have a little sign of ambiguity, or you can sense that the other person is a little interesting to you, don't flirt with each other as soon as you go up. Because the unspoken rule of the flirting world is: Men who are used to flirting with girls are easy to be eliminated, and women who are always flirting with boys are easy to be short-chosen.
The third point is that consensus is followed by empathy.
You've just come closer through a common hobby and your compliments on what he's good at. And in daily chats, you have established a basic consensus because of your precise complaints and similar views.
Then consensus is followed by the empathy stage.
If you want to quickly enter the empathy stage with a guy, you need to do the following things.
The first thing to do is to learn to expose yourself.
The meaning of self-disclosure is to tell the other person about one's mood, emotions, memories and weaknesses, so as to gain the empathy and trust of the other person.
For example, when you are talking to a boy, you suddenly tell you something that was particularly unhappy in elementary school. Because there is some privacy involved in this matter, when you tell the other person, it will show that you trust the other person unconditionally, which will bring the two of you closer.
Of course, the purpose of self-disclosure is to guide the other party to self-expose, as long as both of you have self-exposed in the chat, then your relationship is definitely more likely to become ambiguous.
At this time, it will be easy for you to flirt with the other person.
The second thing is to establish a code language system
At this stage from consensus-building to empathy, you also need to establish a code language system that you both understand.
This trick sounds difficult, but it's not difficult at all, for example, you can give a little code to a specific little thing that only the two of you know.
A student said to the boy before: "Let's directly say bad things about the leader in WeChat, and we will call it watermelon in the future." As a result, when the two of them chatted, the watermelon was long and the watermelon was short, and the others didn't understand what they were talking about at all, but only they got a sense of complicity. This feeling accelerates the experience of empathy between them.