"It's annoying to bring grandchildren, it's difficult to bring grandchildren, you can't go out to play with grandchildren; I want to take my grandson like heaven, but I actually take my grandson like a prison cell, and I take my grandson like a monkey every day. ”
A song "Ballad of Retirement with Sun" was widely circulated on the Internet, singing about the difficulty of the elderly helping their children take care of their children, which resonated with many people.
At the same time, the topic of "don't let the elderly take care of the baby" sparked heated discussions, and at first young people complained that parents did not take good care of their children, but they were refuted by netizens......
1. The elderly who help their children with their children
Those who have raised children should understand that raising children is not an easy and simple matter, but it takes a lot of time, energy, money, and a severe test of emotions.
However, since most young parents need to go to work to earn money, it has become common for them to hand over their children to their parents, and in the case of the mainland alone, "taking care of children for their children" has already tacitly been the obligation of parents to a certain extent.
Many parents will not object and willingly take on this burden. If you look closely, you will find that these parents basically have the following characteristics:
First of all, love your children deeply.
We often say "next generation", but at the end of the day, the reason why elderly parents are willing to take care of their grandchildren is generally based on their wholehearted and unconditional love for their children.
Because he loves his children deeply, he doesn't want his children to work hard, and he is willing to share the pressure for his children.
Because he loves his children deeply, he loves his children's flesh and bones, and he is not willing to let his children be sad for their children.
For them, the happiness of their children is often the greatest happiness, so they are willing to work and sacrifice for it, even if they are likely not to get a commensurate return.
Secondly, a strong sense of responsibility.
The "sense of responsibility" here has two meanings, one is that in the eyes of some parents, it is the obligation of parents to take care of their children for their children, and the social background is like this, and they should also actively participate in it.
Second, for some elderly people with more traditional ideological concepts, their grandchildren have the same bloodline and belong to the same collective, and their children's children are also their own children, and it is the obligation of the family to bring them by themselves.
Either way, they will try their best to treat their grandchildren well, because in their hearts, if they don't bring their grandchildren well, it is "dereliction of duty" and they will be poked in the back.
Finally, it's hard not to post money for your grandchildren.
Generally speaking, when elderly parents take care of their children, the children will pay for the children's living expenses, after all, it is really difficult for parents to bear the huge expenses of their children's growth.
But this does not mean that in the process of bringing children, parents will not put money in.
Although the children bear the burden of large expenses, as the old saying goes, "a family does not speak two words", in real life, it is indeed not easy to completely separate the expenses in the family.
When a child wants to buy a bag of snacks or a small toy in the store or market, most parents will not mention it to their children, and will directly "subsidize" it with their own money.
Over time, no one can figure out what the account is.
2. Is it wrong not to be willing to help children with children?
For thousands of years, it has been commonplace to help children take care of children, but in recent years, with the rise of individual consciousness and the abundance of cultural and sports activities for the elderly, more and more parents are reluctant to help their children take care of their children.
Should such ideas be criticized?
On April 2, the topic of "Don't let the elderly take the baby" attracted attention after a young man complained that an elderly mother had caused a child to bump while helping him with the child.
But netizens said about this: "I brought it myself, and I complained about helping you bring it." ”
The reason why netizens support mothers is mainly because legally speaking, parents do not have the obligation to raise their grandchildren, which is the so-called "helping you is love, not helping is duty." ”
And when parents are old, it is inevitable that their physical fitness will decline and they will have difficulty moving, but children are often lively and active, and it is a difficult and risky thing for them to take care of their children.
Some people even think that when elderly and frail parents help take care of their children, the children are not only grateful, but "hypocritically" feel sorry for the children, which is purely "standing and talking without back pain".
Parents have worked hard for most of their lives, and they should have retired to retire, but they have to continue to work, which is not worthy of becoming a social convention "obligation".
The elderly have the right to refuse the request to take care of their children and the right to enjoy their old age as they wish.
However, for the average working family, who should take care of the children?
First of all, if it is brought by grandparents and grandparents, there may be various contradictions;
Secondly, if the parents are to take care of it themselves, it is also a lot of energy to balance work and family.
Finally, if you hire a babysitter to bring it, it is difficult for many families to pay for it.
So, what do you think about this?
Resources:
Weibo "Don't let the elderly take the baby"