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The bride price has always been a topic of discussion, in fact, in real life, the amount of the bride price, whether there is or not, has something to do with the family and the local environment.
If two people have a good relationship, and in the end because the bride price was not negotiated, and the last two broke up, then there is nothing to regret, indicating that the relationship still has not defeated reality and family.
The bride price is 380,000 yuan, and it is only after marriage that I know how to borrow, what is the result
Coordinates Nanjing, the protagonists are Mr. Xu and Ms. Hu.
Let's first introduce the family background, Ms. Hu is a well-off family, a wealthy family, and an only child. The bottom line of parents' marriage requirements for their daughters is that their son-in-law has a house and a car to be a good young man.
Mr. Xu, an ordinary office worker, is relatively motivated, has an okay income, and is an excellent young man, but his family conditions are very average.
Mr. Xu has also talked about several terms in the past, and in the end, they all parted ways because of the high bride price and met Ms. Hu.
When it came to the stage of talking about marriage, Ms. Hu's parents offered a condition of 380,000 yuan as a bride price.
In order to get married smoothly, Mr. Xu went off the rails and found a lending institution to borrow 380,000 yuan, and the two entered the marriage hall.
Seven days after getting married, the wife found out that her husband had borrowed 380,000 yuan, and immediately felt cheated, ran back to her parents' house, and obtained the support of her parents.
The woman sued for divorce.
Mr. Xu initially comforted his wife, but was coldly refused, and later wavered, and put forward personal conditions: divorce is okay, and the 380,000 bride price will be returned.
In the end, Ms. Hu's family repaid the 380,000 yuan, and the two parties divorced.
The two views are constantly at loggerheads
Some people say that this Mr. Xu is cheating on marriage, borrowing 380,000 yuan, and finally asking his wife to repay it with him, this kind of deception is unacceptable.
When the other party proposes a 380,000 dowry, you can refuse, admit that you can't afford it, and then look at the other party's choice, but concealing the other party's loan is deception.
Some people say that Ms. Hu's family opened their mouths wide and opened their mouths for 380,000 yuan, what is the difference between this and selling their daughter. Over the years, the bride price has been getting higher and higher, which has made many people complain.
Judging from the final choice of Ms. Hu's family, returning the bride price and getting a divorce is just not acceptable to be deceived.
Family mismatch is fundamental
As mentioned earlier, Ms. Hu's family is well-off, after this kind of thing happened, Ms. Hu first went home and was honest with her parents, and obtained the support of her parents, I think it is very rare, Ms. Hu's parents really put their daughter first, rather than only looking at their own interests, from this point of view, or praise the family, parents can always stand in the perspective of their daughter.
In fact, the high bride price is just to find out the bottom, and the main thing is that the families of the two sides do not match.
There is a 30-year-old friend who is not married, the family conditions are very good, the grandfather's pension is more than 10,000 yuan, and the parents are both public institutions, one is retired, and the other is about to retire.
Let's take her personally, the family conditions are excellent, and when she got married, her parents, grandparents, and maternal grandparents gave hundreds of thousands of red envelopes (already prepared), so she didn't let the bride price of the marriage partner she was looking for.
For qualified families, a bride price of hundreds of thousands is commonplace.
But for ordinary families, hundreds of thousands of bride prices are really unaffordable.
Fundamentally, there is a mismatch between the two families, and the result of deceiving a girl from such a family is also predictable, this Mr. Xu wants to cook raw rice and mature rice, so he thinks that he can live on, but he underestimates the other party.
Can the phenomenon of high bride price be suppressed by the system?
Many regions have begun to promulgate relevant systems requiring that the bride price should not exceed a certain limit, but in practice it is difficult to actually enforce it.
Personally, I think that the bride price is beyond the control of the system, which has something to do with local customs and the ratio of men and women, and the system cannot control others to marry.
As long as the proportion of marriageable men is large, and some people voluntarily pay a high bride price, then the bride price will rise.
The only way to reduce the bride price is to have an equal ratio of men and women.
In fact, another characteristic that accompanies high bride price is that it is patriarchal, and the more patriarchal the place, the higher the amount of bride price.
Of course, there is also a developed economic level, or the family conditions are superior, and the children get married, and the parents will also provide high bride price and dowry, which is another matter.
For some families, if a daughter gets married, the parents give the formula a car, and require the other party to have a house and a car, which is not too much at all, and if one of the parents gives hundreds of thousands of dowries, it is more reasonable to ask the man to get hundreds of thousands of dowries.
The existence is not necessarily reasonable, but the existence of the bride price, looking at the customs and environment of the past ten years or even decades, is reasonable, and for some areas, it is the result of a long-term preference for sons.
Therefore, if you want to change, you must start from passing on new ideas, and you must solve the problem from the root, when people's concepts change, girls are more and more valued, and slowly the amount of the bride price will come down (or that sentence, except for those who are willing to ration those who are good parents).