Teacher Biao and her students

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2024-04-08 10:36Posted on the official account of Beijing characters

Ms. Biao is a Chinese teacher at a public middle school in Beijing. Many people know her because of the "Remember a Student Series" that she continues to update on Weibo.

After becoming a class teacher in 2020, she has written more than 30 students' stories one after another, including "Da Zhang Wei's daughter" whose writing essays are always off topic but always overflowing with whimsy, "Slow Beat Girl" who is isolated by the whole class but still breaks Zhang Fei, and "Uncle Li", who does not like to study but is addicted to plant literature...... Compared with the top students, Mr. Biao prefers to record those strange teenagers who may be silent in the class, but exude a moving aura in some aspects.

In the comment area, many netizens chased the next episode of the children in the story like a serial, and the most common sentence appeared, "If you were my teacher." Some people also say that Teacher Biao is like a teacher who came out of "Eighteen-Year-Old Sky". But she felt that she was just a teacher who could see the pain of her students. Because she had been there before, and now standing on the shore, she was trying to do something.

In March, on the night of the first spring rain in Beijing, I met Mr. Biao in a café. Her Weibo account is called "Biao Beauty Sun Dasheng", as her name suggests, 1.72 meters tall, clear eyes, hearty smile, and the humor of Northeast people, speaking of the students and teachers who moved her, she first cried for a while, then wiped away her tears, and laughed at herself, "What is your MBTI? I am ENFP, commonly known as an emotional mixer. 」

We talked about her experience as a junior high school Chinese teacher, and also talked about the past few years when she took over as the head teacher. She naturally talked about her student days, studying in a small county town on the 18th line, experiencing three years of high school in Hengshuihua, and being ostracized by teachers and classmates. She recounted her experience, "When she was a student, she had an awkward personality, and the teacher didn't like or hate her, mainly because she didn't remember. After becoming a teacher, there are no students you like or hate, only one thing: remember every student and accompany every student. 」

In college, she came to Beijing to study literature at Capital Normal University, where she met a modern and contemporary literature teacher who influenced and healed her. She told me that in the spring, the teacher would open a big dumpling bag and take everyone to read the discarded "The Biography of Mr. Must-have" in class; when the graduation question was approaching, her thinking was very chaotic, and the teacher listened to her while quickly writing the outline of the thesis on the back of the ticket, like prescribing a prescription. These scenes are remembered by her for a long time.

After graduating, Mr. Biao entered the current school and wanted to inherit the mantle of literature and become a Chinese teacher. But when her work first improved, she became a class teacher, and the results of this class were not good, and she often had a feeling of not knowing where to start. She cried at many class teacher meetings, and at the subway station home, she broke down.

When she was about to be exhausted, she began to write about the students she had met, like a mental massage, combing herself, and unexpectedly reacquainting herself with the students in writing, and there were more stories later. This is the origin of the "Remember a Student" series. Through writing, she felt a kind of "understanding", understanding what students went through to get to where they are today, and understanding their cuteness and flaws. Those children who are not very likable, others may think that he has done something wrong, but Teacher Biao thinks that he just hasn't grown up yet.

In the past few years as a teacher, Mr. Biao has made many attempts both inside and outside the classroom. Speaking of Lu Xun's texts, she would discuss with students why the women in the stories always had no names, and would ask students to read the first half and second half of the leap earth in "Hometown" with two voices; she encouraged students to use the language of poetry to understand the situation of life; when she met boys who opened their mouths to girls, she also initiated a special class meeting class to do sex and gender education.

Entering the fourth year of my teaching career, there are still things that consume people at work, about management, about grades, anxiety, powerlessness and hope are always alternating. At this time, she will remember a sentence that her teacher said in college: "Do your best to do your best". People's abilities and time are limited, so just do your best. "As a class teacher, there really aren't many things that can change. She said.

Originally, I thought this was a young teacher's growth story, but after chatting, I found that this is more of a story of life affecting life. A young teacher who has been hurt and nourished by education, trying to open up a small territory of freedom for students in the gap of exam-oriented education, despite feeling a lot of powerlessness and frustration, she still hopes that the children can relax, stay gentle, and feel hope. As for where it can reach, Teacher Biao said, "Even if it is very limited, at least it can allow children to occupy a little bit more space in the world. 」

The following is what Mr. Biao said.

Text: Wang Qing

Editor|Huai Yang

Image courtesy of the interviewee

1

In 2020, I took over a class in Grade 8 as a class teacher. On the first day of work, my colleagues said that I was very upright and excited. Getting along with students is also open for business. At the flag-raising ceremony, I led them to sing the national anthem loudly, and I felt that I was a class teacher, and unlike the Chinese teacher, I had to let them take me as an example.

This state lasted for a week, and the whole person fell. I'm a very loose person, not good at management, and many times I think it's okay to talk to students, but after talking, he should do what he should do, and he feels powerless.

The grades of this class are very bad, often at the bottom of the whole grade, and in the face of the pressure of the high school entrance examination, a novice class teacher can do very little, and he has to constantly face the grades and analyze the results. Every time there is a class teacher meeting, other teachers have a lot to talk about, and I can say at most, this time it is not so bad, although it is still the first from the bottom, but the gap with the second from the bottom has become smaller.

When I was about to break down, writing became a way for me to save myself.

The first one was about a girl I met in my first year as a Chinese teacher. In that experimental class, her grades were not the best, but she was very smart and smart, and she would use her familiar knowledge principles to watch life, describing herself and her peers as "smiling noisily, like unstable atoms emitting invisible light", clapping at chemical instruments when successfully extracting petal essence, and blasting the dog's head of a boy who passed on her scandal in the classroom.

She made me see the best state of studying, not just for exams, but like a very hungry person frantically chewing and absorbing the world. This was something I hadn't encountered in that class at the time.

I have been a class teacher for a long time, and I was in a state of not being able to interject in that class. It is already difficult for the eighth grade children to accept a new homeroom teacher, and I am a young teacher, and I don't plan to use authority to suppress them, so they think that I am easy to talk, easy to bully, and easy to fool, and as a result, I have neither suppressed them in terms of authority, nor have I been able to interact with them mentally on an equal footing, and I am in a dilemma.

Even the top students don't communicate with me very much. There was a class meeting, I put a very popular science fiction work explanation video on station B, and wanted to share with them what I thought was interesting, and they were really attracted, but they just watched it very quietly, and left with their schoolbags after reading it, without a word. Another time, after school, I urged them to hurry home and "if they don't leave, they will have to be on duty", and they just chatted and left as if they didn't hear it. I felt that my teachers had no sense of existence, they didn't like me, they didn't even bother to hate me, they just used me as air.

When the pressure was the highest, the leader talked to me and said that I felt that you were not in a good state recently. Like a bad student, I didn't pretend anymore and told my grievances, helplessness and powerlessness. She told me that education is like this, you teach repeatedly, problems come repeatedly, students get better this time, and then go back, it's all normal.

A corner of the classroom.

A while ago, I read a book by the poet Hertha Miller called "Every Word Sits with Other Eyes", which contains a sentence, "I found that it is things that determine a person, when, how, and where they recall people or scenes from the past...... Things retreat before they strike, looking back at the past with a chance appearance, and pushing the past to a climax through the present. 」

Writing "Remember a Student" was one such experience, and I began to rediscover fragments of my time with them.

There is a boy in the class, and everyone calls him Brother Hao. He seems to have never studied in his life, he doesn't hand in his homework, he doesn't listen to classes, he has the lowest score in the grade, and he comes to school to eat, play, and sleep, I also knew before that his family conditions are not good, his parents are not there, and he has always been brought by his grandparents.

But when I was writing about him, I suddenly remembered that once the school organized students to watch a video at home, and they needed to return to the picture, some of the students may be in front of the computer, and some are in a large living room, and his photo is a very dim, closed cabin, a small single bed, he is fat, like a giant panda, and the cat is looking at his mobile phone there. That picture touched me a lot and gave me a glimpse of a corner of his life.

In addition to his bad grades, Brother Hao has a very sunny personality, and he gets along with his classmates very aggressively, and the teachers don't hate him. Sometimes I met him at the school gate, and he would greet me loudly at the traffic light. When I put these things together, it felt like it was not easy for him in his life. I asked myself if I had gone through his family situation, I might not have grown up to be as healthy as him.

Later, there was an exam, and Brother Hao finally passed a subject. I said at the meeting that I would like to thank the teachers for not giving up on our class and not giving up on every student when they have tried their best but still have little success. At the end of my speech, I wanted to say that I believe that our class will be like Brother Hao, even if it is very difficult, you can do your best. Before I could say anything, I was crying uncontrollably. The leader felt that I shed tears of relief, but I felt that it was so difficult.

When I was a kid, I didn't relax until I went to college, and when I was in middle and high school, I was in a very tense state. The junior high school and high school I studied in Hebei, for three years in junior high school, I have always been in the top ten in my class, and I was admitted to the city's key high school at the bottom, and it became the bottom. I can understand students with poor grades, because I used to be like this, I wanted to work hard today, I worked hard, but tomorrow I still didn't do well in the exam, and I didn't have the motivation to work hard. At that time, the entire school in Hebei was Hengshui, and 800 bells a day asked you to do this and that, and you had to run to eat.

"Remembering a student" is a kind of self-combing, I see my previous self, and I understand the students better, or rather, more considerate of them, I like to use the word "understanding", I am not forgiving, nor is it full of love, no, I seem to finish telling this story, I am relieved, I know why you are like this, I know how the bits and pieces of your life experience of more than ten years have shaped the way you are today. I talk to you once, it is impossible to change you, even if I teach you for two years, it may not change you, the most I can do is to accompany you, and then try to relax you as much as possible.

Poking his head out of the office to secretly film a student in physical education class.

I have been in this class for less than two years, although it is very slow to give and they are slow to receive, but slowly, I feel that I can see each other, and I can also feel that some children have come to me, it is really different, and the atmosphere of the whole class has become very relaxed. That's one thing that gives me a sense of accomplishment.

I was also wondering, what kind of students would be influenced by me? I felt that people who were interested in something, but no one ever felt that it was worthy of cheering and appreciation, I observed it, and when I talked to him, he felt that I understood him and would trust me a little more.

Brother Hao just mentioned, once, I found out that he drew a small comic, and he didn't let me read it, I thought it was something inappropriate for children, but it turned out to be a stickman practicing a duel. I said you like martial arts, then I'll borrow you a book to read, and I borrowed "Dragon Babu" from him, so he began to read novels in class. It's a small thing, but a lot of times the relationship between a teacher and a student is formed in the ordinary moments.

After they graduated, I took a new class. Sometimes other teachers come to the class and say, "The students in your class are so lively, they will have a lot of reactions when they open their mouths, which is rare in other classes." I think that's probably the impact I have on them.

2

Because of the experience of the last class, when I took the second class of students, I launched the "Branches of Knowledge" activity, hoping to consciously inspire students to understand the corners of the world that they are interested in.

Speaking of which, I have to thank "Uncle Li" in our class. "Uncle Lee" is a student of the previous year. When he first took over, he was a boy who was not very likeable, with a broken mouth, liked to ridicule others, and his grades were not very good. Sometimes I talk to him, hippie smiles, and he doesn't do anything right. But once, I watched him read a tome about plants at noon, and he was very focused, and the whole person was trapped in the book, and the reading book was placed on his lap, and he was rubbing his hair while frowning and staring closely. It was the first time I saw him studying.

When I talked about the "Book of Songs" in Chinese class, I specially left an assignment for everyone to check the information and write about what kind of bird the dove is and what kind of dish is the vessel. He does it very seriously, and he doesn't say whether it's right or wrong, and he is in a state where he completes his homework with great confidence, which is definitely not the case in normal times. After that, I obviously felt that there was less nonsense in Uncle Li's class.

Later, he also wrote an essay related to cactus, from plant habits to plant character, which was very well written, and I helped him change it and publish it in the Beijing Daily. He was very happy and began to listen carefully to the lectures, and his grades in all subjects were improving. During the parent-teacher conference, his mother was also very excited, pulling me and saying that my child is now in the best state of eight years.

Because of this, I realized that children with hobbies are more likely to be "saved". Many times, when a teacher tries to get close to a student, it will not go so smoothly, and he will be rejected and resisted. But if he is passionate about something in life, the teacher will help him in this and give him a platform to show it, and he will also have a little more confidence.

When launching the "Branches and Branches" activity, I specially asked "Uncle Li", who has graduated, to write an example of a "proposal report", so that everyone can take advantage of the vacation to find a topic that they are interested in. I was surprised when the proposal was received, and three-quarters of it was written in great detail and seriousness.

The first one to show is the representative of the Chinese class, her topic is Su Shi, and she told you about some of Su Shi's works in the Huangzhou period, although the effect is average, but it is a breakthrough for her, and she also continues to look at Su Shi-related things, and now she will often use Su Shi's allusions in writing.

What's more exciting is a girl who learns to draw. Before, she didn't have much presence in the class, once she went to another class to do after-school service, and broke the inside of someone else's desk pocket, at first she didn't admit it, and then another classmate asked her to get it. I chatted with her for a while, and I felt that she was the kind of kid who followed the crowd and didn't have a particularly clear self. She didn't have any friends in the class either. Once, she wrote that she went downstairs and went around, everyone had playmates, she was walking alone, and at this time a classmate in the distance called her, and she ran over with a smile. And then she said to me, you know what? I made up this ending.

At that event, she gave a popular science about nuclear sewage. The lecture was very deep, and the students at the bottom were confused, but the way of speaking was very interesting, and she drew all those principles.

Students draw a popular science of nuclear sewage.

Later, I will talk about famous books in class, and I will talk about three examples of characters and let you write them down. Instead of taking notes, she drew one of the examples into a caricature. After class, she showed it to me, and I told her that in order to punish you for not taking notes, I drew the remaining two examples. Her first reaction seemed to be very reluctant, but a little happy, I immediately went to paint, and soon the drawings were finished, I took pictures of them, put them on the PPT, and showed them to the students in class the next day, and the students in the class liked it very much.

This is the first time she has been seen by everyone because of one thing. This is different from the painting competitions she used to participate in at school, where her drawings were integrated into everyone's daily life. She also likes biology very much, and has painted a lot of small science paintings. Our biology teacher is also a young teacher who has just joined the company, and she is very thoughtful, so she told this girl that there are very few people who draw popular science paintings now, and if you specialize in painting popular science paintings in the future, it will not only reflect your painting skills, but also use your interest in natural science. Gradually, this girl gained a lot of like-minded friends because of these exchanges.

From the stage of childhood to adulthood, if someone can recognize you in a specific area, it is very important for the child's self-identity.

There is also a boy who is usually very restrained when he shares on stage, that is, he reads PPT, which is densely packed with words. In that sharing, he took a criminal law book to give everyone popular legal knowledge. I took a picture of him, and the whole body was open. I sent the photo to his mother, and she said that she felt very lucky that her child had met you junior high school teachers, and her state was different.

I don't think I've changed him, but I did help the student hire "Interest", the "best teacher", and he also felt that I was a safe person to show his interest. In the past, this student was very naughty, but after that, he listened to me very much, and sometimes when I talked about it in class, he would say to the other boys, okay, don't get it, take it quickly.

In the past year, "Branches and Branches" has become a special project of our class. There are students in our class who read Luo Xiang, students who have developed butterfly chrysalis, and students who have finished reading "The Scream" and "Hesitation", and I help them find opportunities to show in the class so that they can be seen by more people. Sometimes, I also joke with my friends that I am like an agent, trying to push the "artist" in my hand to a variety show that suits them, and then create a character design to let them out of the circle and shine.

Student's butterfly keeping record.

3

I didn't think about becoming a teacher at first. Before college, my parents decided all my life plans, they thought it was good for girls to be teachers, and I liked Chinese. In the four years of college, I basically didn't listen to the education classes properly, I felt empty and boring, and only listened to literature classes. In the Modern and Contemporary Literature class, I met Ms. Li, who became the motivation for my later graduate studies.

What kind of person is Ms. Li? She will tell us in the spring class that spring is a good time to read the name of the waste. There is a question on Zhihu, "What books must be read in a specific season", so I told this little story, and many people turned around, and some people commented, "You won't be a student of Mr. Li, right?"

Sometimes, when the class was taught, she simply took out a book and read it to us. Its practical PPT is the same, but every time she carries a large dumpling bag with a lot of books and sticky notes. We saw her take out a book, look for it for a long time, turn to the specific page, and when she began to read, it really conveyed the feeling of reading itself.

She read us a lot of excerpts. Hu Shi's "I like you and I are both young people, and I come to the riverside", the powerful seven adults in "Divorce" shocked the pungent aunt, and the teacher imitated an old official posture, pulling a long voice, reading "Come~~~ Xi ............"; But his joy was too late to pick firewood. I like to watch the fallen leaves, and the wind blows the fallen leaves into a formation, but its joy is not as good as picking firewood. At the time, I felt that the teacher's gentle and powerful voice was another expression of text analysis, and it was also the teacher's urgent desire for the students to read more works.

Before I went to college, I was the kind of student who was afraid of teachers. The relationship with the teacher, I want him to like me, but I don't dare to talk to him, it's a little transparent. What about the teacher? The teacher doesn't like or hate me, mainly because he doesn't remember. After I went to university, I found that my classmates would naturally go to talk to their teachers, but as a student who graduated from an 18th-tier city, I really didn't know what kind of attitude to talk to my teachers in the beginning.

But Mr. Li is the kind of teacher who has a special personality, is very gentle and tolerant. I wanted to get close to her, but I didn't know how to start. Later, I wrote an assignment to discuss the image of a little girl in Lu Xun's "Passerby". I went to ask the teacher, is this little girl really the incarnation of Xu Guangping? The angle of the question is quite gossip and quite naïve. But the teacher answered patiently, smiled softly, and didn't say yes or no, just asked me to read it again and think about it.

When I was approaching the graduate school entrance examination, I was very anxious, and sometimes I asked the teacher some professional questions, and she would say to me after answering, I think you are fine. Once, before looking for her, I sent a meme begging for a hug - I already dared to hug at that time. She saw me, answered my questions, and really hugged me. After the first exam, I told her that I wanted to read with you, and she didn't say anything at the time, just told me to prepare for the interview.

On the day after the interview, my classmates and I went to the National Museum to check the materials, and there were many huge wooden tables in the classroom, and I lay on the table and sent a message to the teacher asking for help, saying that I couldn't find the materials for the paper. She replied I could find it anywhere. Then he said, "Also, read with me." 」

I didn't react at the time, what is meant by "reading with me", I was stunned for a long time and reacted, she meant to accept me as her graduate student, and my tears came out in that instant.

I've remembered that sentence for a long time, and every time I think about it, I want to cry. Studying with her is indeed a very important force to support my graduate school entrance examination. Even when she was admitted to graduate school and was in her first year of graduate school, I would imagine that one day after graduation, I would not be able to be with my teachers every day. I want to cry again.

In the three years of graduate school, she often held reading clubs in cafes. The teacher was very generous and always invited us to eat delicious food. We have a book club about once every two weeks, and the main thing is that students who are about to graduate share their thesis progress, which is the most stressful time. At that time, there was a senior sister who pre-defended and was asked by many teachers. The senior sister was very worried, and the teacher was also very worried, but she still steadily mentioned some angles to the senior sister, and said, next time we go to Zizhuyuan for a spring outing, let the senior sister prepare well and tell you about this topic again.

On that day, we really went on a spring outing, everyone brought food, the classmates from Beijing made a small snack, the teacher also brought sake, walked all the way, took pictures, and when we arrived at the pavilion, we spread a tablecloth on the ground and stacked things out. The teacher said, "Okay, let's start talking."

The senior sister stood in the pavilion, leaned against the pillar, took out the manuscript paper and began to speak, she was studying the travel in Zhang Hatshui's works, and we were in the spring of the garden. Probably affected by the environment, the senior sister was in a particularly relaxed and light state that day, and she spoke very well, and the teacher said that there was a very big breakthrough, and we were very happy to take pictures together.

It was my turn to open the question on my own, and I was also stuck. In a few days, the topic will be opened, and everyone is sitting in the café, and I feel like I'm dying. Later, it got darker and darker, and the lights in the store were not turned on, and the light dimmed. When everyone was stuck there, the tutor casually pulled out the "coffee with you" ticket, and began to outline me on the back, listing two sets of essay frameworks, which felt like she was prescribing medicine, and quickly wrote down the angles she could think of. Later, when the junior sisters were anxious about their papers, I often comforted them with this incident: "It's okay, there is a teacher." I kept the receipt, and I kept it in "Letters to Young People."

Dormitory desktop during graduation thesis.

Finally, the title of my graduation thesis was "On the 'Yin and Cold' in May Fourth Literature: Focusing on the Weiming Society", and the relationship between the Weiming Society and Lu Xun was particularly close, and I mainly studied the works of Tai Jingnong, a member of the Society. Lu Xun commented that he had a kind of coldness, and Lu Xun also had this coldness, which was also a very special emotion in that era.

During the graduation defense, I met a particularly powerful young teacher in the school, and everyone was afraid of her, thinking that she was like a serial cannon, and everyone admired her because she was right. After that defense, she said that she choked up when she read my thesis, and even quoted Zhang Taiyan as saying that some articles can "inspire people's thoughts", and my articles can "increase people's feelings". I was shocked because I did have choked up moments when I wrote it, and this teacher read it.

Tears came out of my eyes on the spot. She wasn't just complimenting me on how well I wrote, she read my feelings. The most consuming thing about writing the whole essay is that through their few words, I can reach the most real feeling of the group of literary young people in the May Fourth period.

In fact, the literary works of the Weiming Society are written very ordinary, but their lives can really resonate. For a while, many members of the society were sick and in a kind of "sickness". Tai Jingnong also mentioned in the preface to "Son of the Earth" that the novel was completed at Wei Suyuan's hospital bed and was to be given to this sick friend. Later, Wei Suyuan wrote about this friendship in his suicide note, I cried when I saw it, and I also posted it on Moments. Here's what he said:

"What I am saying to you is that I think that the lives of those of you who will still exist in the future will be becoming more and more miserable. Now that the society is in such disorder, it is very hopeless to sort it out at present, and it will go through great destruction in the future and then seek to recover. But in the process, pain and sacrifice are inevitable, and for this reason, I think you will most of the future in life. In this hopelessness, old friends, I hope that you will work hard, and at the same time, I hope that you will form a deeper friendship in order to obtain the warmth of life. 」

I was particularly touched by this passage. Later, when I became a teacher, the teachers I met during my study and my feelings when I was studying all influenced my attitude with my students. What I want students to gain may be like Wei Suyuan's words, "I hope you work hard, and at the same time, I hope you form a deeper friendship to achieve the warmth of life." 」

4

When I first entered the school, I was not a homeroom teacher, but just a Chinese teacher, leading a top class. At that time, I felt like I was facing a great enemy every day. Because of my lack of teaching experience, I have also taken many detours.

In my first year on the job, I was most concerned about whether the students liked me. At the beginning of the class, I wanted to catch the students, I did a lot of small designs, and I prepared the class until 2 o'clock in the middle of the night, and the students also felt that it was very lively, but it was just lively. Once I talked about "The Scream", I had a lot of enthusiasm for Lu Xun himself, and whether the students entered the article or not, I began to comment that women were fertility machines in the old days. The student said, "Wow, teacher, you really dare to say that." The whole class was very messy, and in the end, I was directly angry and cried, and blew my nose in class.

During that time, the most painful thing for me was that my students kept comparing me to better teachers. The students in this class are very good, and the teacher who taught them before is the top of our school's special teachers. They asked me, "What was we talking about before, and can you talk about it as well?" Teacher, do you know what project-based learning is? Can you recite it? I don't know at all. Sometimes when I swipe into the circle of friends of these teachers and see them talk about how to take this class, I will have a feeling of looking at the answers, and I miscalculated.

There was one thing that particularly struck me. At that time, there was a student in the class who only loved to study science, and he never looked up to listen to the lecture in my class. But one time, he went to listen to an ancient Chinese chanting class, and when he came back, his classmates told me that he didn't write his homework the whole time and kept singing along. My emotions collapsed.

I've been a student, I've met teachers I like and teachers I don't like, good teachers and average teachers, so I can feel the feeling that students feel about their teachers, not dissatisfaction, but disappointment. He was expecting more from me, but I didn't get that much. That year, I often felt like I was about to be eaten alive by them, and the top students really couldn't be fed.

At that time, I often had a sense of grievance, and I had worked so hard to prepare for the lesson, but the effect was so bad. Sometimes after a bad class, returning to the office is like being beaten, and the limbs and radishes are chaffed off. Looking back, this feeling is actually very naïve, there is no need for students to pay for your ineffective efforts, your lesson design is not good, there is a problem with the organization, it is good to change, why should you talk about how much you have paid, it is meaningless.

Coincidentally, my brother is also in this school. He told me that you can't just talk to students about the issues that master's students want to discuss, you still have to sort out the plot first. At first glance, it sounds natural and should be the consensus of the Chinese teacher, but for a novice teacher, I will take it for granted that they are already familiar with it.

After that conversation, I understood why I couldn't learn the lesson of "Blessing", because the students had not yet empathized with the text, and only read a vague story, so I began to talk about the situation of women in great depth, and frantically output my concepts, and of course the students would have a feeling of seeing me laugh at myself.

When it came time to talk about "Tomorrow", I started with more details, and asked students to ask questions first, sort out the plot little by little, and then enter into a deeper discussion. For example, the names of the red-nosed old arch and the blue-skinned Ah Wu are all designed, and there are also allusions in reality. Everyone will say that Lu Xun is really a master of playing stalks.

Later, when I studied "Hometown", we became in a good state with each other, and we compared the difference between Lu Xun's real experience of returning to his hometown and the novel; when reading, I asked half of the students to read the juvenile part, and the other half read the part of the middle-aged leap land reunion, like two parts of the chorus, one side is bright, the other is dark, although the reading is messy, but everyone is in the mood, and the feelings of this article are also deeper.

Unfortunately, I only took this class for a year. Although we experienced a lot of unpleasant moments in the process, when they could really talk to me about Lu Xun, I was about to leave them, and I felt like a breakup, and I couldn't let go.

The students wrote Lu Xun's stalk on the New Year's Day balloon.

On the day of the breakup, a student in the class who was like a leader in temperament and way of speaking wrote me a note, which read: "Among all my Chinese teachers, although you are not the most talented and knowledgeable, you are the hardest-working", and added, "I believe that Mr. Biao will be able to break the waves in the future." After reading it, I wanted to reply, "Thank you, leader, for affirmation. At the same time, I secretly thought to myself, it turns out that my limitations and efforts are being watched by the students.

In this process, I am grateful to the Master who brought me. When he first came to the school for an internship, the first thing he said when he saw me was, "Do you want to be a teacher?" I didn't say much about the reason. He said, just think about it, think about it. Later, I learned that he was recruiting interns in order to train a teacher who could be retained.

My master is the Chinese teacher who can chant and is remembered by the students in the experimental class. Chanting is really singing poems, for example, when talking about Du Fu's "Song of the Thatched House Broken by the Autumn Tree", the master will explain how Du Fu changed the rhyme in the poem while chanting. At the beginning, "August Autumn High Flame Roars, Roll Up the Triple Thatched on My House", the sentences rhyme flat, and "ao" has a feeling of whistling, to "The children of Nancun bully me old and powerless, and I can endure being a thief on the other side", it becomes a rhyme, short and frustrated, showing the poet's despair. and then to the appeal of political ideals "Tens of thousands of mansions, sheltering the world's poor and happy", the rhyme of "deleted" is opened and nasal, conveying the author's powerful cry from the suffering of personal life.

As soon as I joined the company, he took me, and I felt shocked in every class I took with him, and I didn't care about paying attention to the questions of "how to do instructional design" and "how to guide students" when I listened to his lectures. I originally studied modern and contemporary literature, and I was not interested in ancient literature, but after listening to him, I saw more possibilities for ancient poetry.

He gave me a great inspiration, the class is not just over according to the teachings, and there is still a lot of room for exploration in the depth and thickness of the text. Later, even if I took a class with very poor grades, I couldn't teach like this, but the six months I studied with him can make me forgive me for those unsatisfactory classes and teaching collapse moments, because I have seen the best classes, I know what kind of classes I look forward to and what students yearn for, maybe we speak in different styles, but I will always work in his direction.

There are many seniors who protect me in this way. Once the leader came to listen to the class, I was reminded that the teaching content was too difficult and the teaching process was not standardized enough. At that time, the leader of the preparation team told me that all the norms, including asking students to read the texts several times and how to learn the most basic things, can be learned slowly, but if a new teacher does not have the motivation to go out and climb up at the beginning, he will not go far in the future.

This sentence gave me a lot of encouragement, and it reminded me of when I was in graduate school, when very young teachers gave us everything in class, and I was in that state for a long time after I joined the company. Although it is self-congratulatory, there is such a very brave breath there, fortunately, it is protected by the teachers.

5

Entering the fourth year of my teaching career, this year I started to do some new explorations.

One is a class meeting class related to opening yellow cavities. I have noticed that after puberty, students start to talk about sexual words. When the teacher mentions some words in class, they will be very excited. After learning about the reproductive system in biology class, their vocabulary is richer. One day after class, a boy joked with a girl and asked, "Do you have any money at home?" The boy said, do you sell yin?

There must be many more similar "jokes". I have encountered such "jokes" in school before, and I may not have thought it was a problem at the time, but now, we have already questioned why these "jokes" are always derogatory to women? At this stage of school, students are still in a relatively equal environment, and after entering society, they have power relations, and if they offend people who dare not resist you, the consequences will be even more serious. I just wanted to talk to the students.

In class, I first recreated the dialogue scene, set up everyone's role in the situation, and the choices that might be made from the perspective of this character. One of the questions is, what do you do when a girl is dissatisfied, one option is, "Don't joke with her anymore, go to other girls", everyone says, isn't this sick? The next option is, "See if she's not particularly angry, maybe she thinks it's funny, continue to joke with her next time", and everyone continued, isn't this a serious illness?

In the process of interaction, those students who love to make such jokes can hear the real reactions of other people, and will find themselves in a state of being disgusted by most people. I've also observed that some students get overwhelmed and pretend to be doing their homework, while others bow their heads the whole way. Some girls also talk about their feelings, and some said that at that time, they felt that it was okay for their classmates to make a joke, and there was no need to tear their faces. I'd say a lot of people think that way, and that's normal, but next time you can make it clear that you're disgusted.

After class, the girls came to talk to me, and I felt that they understood all of a sudden, understood the logic behind what they used to think was hazy, and discussed together which boy in the class had not made such a joke. There are also boys who came over and said, last time who was joking there and saying "masturbation", he choked back directly, what's so funny about this, don't say it.

After this lesson, I also realized that there is very little such sex and gender education in the primary and secondary education system. So, I took advantage of Women's Day to hold another class.

In the past, I used to do some small activities in a scattered manner, such as writing a message to each girl in the class, such as writing on the small whiteboard at the door of the class, "Gentleness, cuteness and virtue are not the standard for being a good girl", "Saying that boys are feminine and feminine is both an insult to boys and girls".

This year, I happened to be watching "Shuowen Jie Zi", and I am a Chinese teacher, so I wanted to talk to my classmates about the prejudice and oppression behind those languages from the perspective of language.

Before school ended on March 7, I asked the students to go home and collect the words next to the 40 female characters, including surnames and adjectives — both positive and derogatory. On the second day of class, I divided the blackboard into three pieces and asked everyone to write the prepared words into categories, and then talked about the changes in the position of women from a linguistic perspective.

Many students have read Lu Xun's novels, and they will talk about the female names in Lu Xun's novels, such as Yang Er's sister-in-law, Xianglin's sister-in-law, and the nine-catty old lady, all of whom do not have their own names. At this time, I will say, do you remember, Xianglin's sister-in-law, Xianglin is his first husband's name, and after the second marriage and third marriage, he is still called Xianglin's sister-in-law, which is completely passively named. We talked about "Death by Injury" again, and I asked everyone why Zijun had her own name?

Another reason for doing this lesson is that there are many backward understandings of women in our daily expressions and even in classic works, and of course it is related to the environment of the times in which these classic texts are located. We can look at it dialectically, but students can't, they need more critical thinking training to jump out of the ordinary prejudices.

There is also a more systematic exploration, which is new poetry education. In the Chinese textbook, poetry is not the focus, at the beginning, I did not have to learn to write new poems, but once I talked about "nostalgia", I asked students to try to imitate the "stamps" in the afterglow. After receiving it, I found that some of the students were really able to write sentences with light in class. Some people wrote, "Letters are the "Horse Collection" fluttering in the sky", and some people wrote, "You are the thin and light paper / You are the heavy paper full of blood / I look forward to you day and night / But I dare not write about you / Because I am afraid, she will not be happy when she sees you." Write out all the feelings of caution.

Students will find that writing poetry is not a difficult thing to do, but they have not been exposed to it before. To this day, there are still students who insist on writing poems, and sometimes I will help them publish good ones, and there are also students who write their first and perhaps only poems in my class. But either way, I think it makes sense.

Many people have discussed the humanistic and instrumental nature of language education. In my opinion, the two do not conflict. The first volume of the first Chinese textbook for junior high school includes Lu Xun's "Morning Flowers and Sunset", which is subtitled "Eliminating the Separation from the Classics". Later, the teachers felt that this topic was very problematic, and the students didn't know Lu Xun yet, where did the diaphragm come from? For my students, they first came into contact with Lu Xun in my classroom, so they never felt that Lu Xun was a boring adult. At this time, everyone will think that Lu Xun is not a high-ranking warrior, he has a very cute side, and he is less resistant to learning.

The "Guide Book of Lu Xun's Former Residence" produced by students.

Having said so much, it seems that I have done a lot, which is very useful, but being a teacher, more often is a kind of powerlessness.

In my first year as a homeroom teacher, I met a girl who didn't want to come to school and took a leave of absence. I went to visit the home, she only said that there was a lot of pressure to study, in fact, her grades were not bad, she was very smart and smart, I am not a professional psychological counselor, it is difficult to understand her feeling that she really can't make it to the high school entrance examination, I don't know where her exhaustion comes from, and what is the relationship with her family. I have also met some students, who are very happy in life, but when it comes to studying, the mood is immediately not good, there are about one or two such situations in a class, and the class teacher can really do very little.

Entering the fourth year of his teaching career, the work is still draining. I'm not the kind of class teacher who can manage a class in an orderly manner, nor am I the kind of Chinese teacher who can bring a class's Chinese results to the best in the whole grade, and there are not many times in the school system that can affirm me.

There have been parents of students who blamed me for their children's failures in exams, thinking that I had not taught well. I admit that my method may not be so test-oriented, but I always feel that the grades are accidental, and a lot of things I have expanded may be of little use in the exam, but if in that class, there is a moment when he feels that the teacher is a little interesting, and he prefers to listen to your Chinese class, or a little more distant, long after graduation, he always remembers that you talked about Lu Xun in class, and he has a good impression of this writer, or at some point in his life, he suddenly remembered a poem you talked about, and took it out to take a look, which is also useful.

I like Mr. Qian Mu's quote very much, "Do your best", you have to do your best in your limited time and limited ability. My current WeChat personality signature is still this sentence. In the four years I have been a teacher, I have been learning what the edge of sex is.

6

So far, there are more than 30 stories in the "Remember a Student" series. Many readers will chase me in the comment section and ask what their ending looks like. To be honest, I don't know a lot of it, and some of the stories just stay on the day of graduation. But there are a few students who have kept in touch with me.

One of the girls, because of the so-called "low emotional intelligence", she always offended others with a big grin, and was ostracized by many classmates. She likes to watch Li Qingzhao and Bai Luomei, and will take a small notebook to memorize some sentences that she thinks are very beautiful, a bit of a "scar of youth", and some boys will tease her behind her back, thinking that she is so sour and numb. But I think she is very sensitive, and it is a very precious thing for her to be able to be moved by these words.

If you listen to me talk so much, you may think that I have tried to make the lecture interesting, but most of the time, you can't keep telling interesting things, you have to force them to learn something. Often at this time, there is no one in the class who responds to me, she is one of the few students who will give me feedback in class, and she will always express herself very completely.

At that time, it was a very faint light for me, and in her life, I may have been a small source of kindness.

When I was in elementary school, I also had the experience of being marginalized. I was a year earlier than most children, 5 and 6 year olds, the minds were very different, at that time I was like a fool in the class, this class was going to this classroom, the next class was coming back, I didn't understand why, I was always half a beat slow, my classmates and teachers were annoying me. Queuing up to do exercises, the classmate next door pointed at me and said, look at your pair of small triangular eyes, your appearance is insulting. I also have rhinitis, and I often blow a table of snot paper, and everyone thinks I'm dirty. The boy in the front row would deliberately arch my desk and arch the paper out for me to pick up.

When I reached junior high school, my popularity improved, and one day I borrowed a circle of pens from my classmates. Because I remember very much, one day in elementary school, the girl with the best grades in the class borrowed pens from everyone, and later she said that she actually brought pens to see how popular she was. Looking back now, it's really ridiculous and pathetic, and I just want to show that I was liked, and I wasn't that liked.

So a lot of my efforts now are trying to make the little transparent visible. Those who are not so likable may seem to others that he is doing something wrong, but I know that he just hasn't grown up. It's a pity that when I was in school, I didn't meet a teacher like me.

The girl I just talked about came back to see me after she went to high school and told me that she has a lot of friends now, and she cried when she didn't take the exam last time, and a group of people came to comfort her. I'm glad she came out earlier than I did.

There is also the aforementioned "Brother Hao", who went to a vocational school after graduation. Once at a class dinner, he sat with a top student. After eating, Xueba picked up the drink cup, and he knew that Brother Hao's father had found another aunt. He asked Brother Hao, how does Auntie treat you? Brother Hao said, it's good. Xueba said, that's okay, just be good to you. Brother Hao, let's meet one. That moment touched me very much, like two kind adults, blessing each other and harboring hope.

At that dinner, Brother Hao also told me that he is now the representative of the Chinese class, and he will try to be the president of the student union next year. He majored in transportation, and pulled out a subway map from his mobile phone, which he drawn. You know, he never wrote his homework before, but now his whole person gives me the feeling of being up.

I also kept in touch with my mentors. Her daughter is just as old as my student, and sometimes she sees my transfer of teaching records in my circle of friends, and she will show her daughter and invite me to some academic seminars. Last year, I attended an academic conference on the teaching of new poetry and shared my experience as a front-line teacher. After four years, I returned to my teachers as if I were handing in my homework. I have an academic god when I was studying, he and my mentor are the same students, and after the sharing, he also praised me, saying that my design is very close to the feeling of poetry, very spiritual. At that moment, I felt like I had come back and handed in a very satisfying assignment to my teachers.

After becoming a teacher, Mr. Biao's lesson preparation bag.

After the publication of the "Remember a Student" series, I received a lot of feedback from readers. Someone asked me, are there many good teachers like you? I thought, am I a good teacher?

To be honest, until now, I still don't feel like a very mature class teacher, especially hygiene and discipline, I don't manage it in an orderly manner, but I know what I'm doing. The school also gave me a lot of space. Our principal didn't think that my "out of tune" management style was a shortcoming, and he was able to accept the existence of a teacher like me, which could give me room to grow.

Somewhat by chance, I received some reviews that seemed exaggerated to me, and I was surprised that those stories would have such a great appeal. But in any case, I can occasionally step out of the circle of work and strive for more opportunities to be evaluated, which is definitely a support for the job of a teacher.

Rabindranath Tagore has a poem called "Influencing Life with Life", which reads:

Live yourself as a light,

Because you don't know,

Who will pass by your light,

Out of the darkness.

……

Please believe in your own power,

Because you don't know,

Who will believe in you,

I began to believe in myself

……

At the beginning of this year, I wrote it in a New Year's Day message to students. I want to tell them that since becoming a teacher, not only have they been influenced by me, but I have also been influenced by them, and they are also influencing each other's lives.

There was a very solid moment. A boy in our class, he is a little weak, Mumu's child. Many times he was slower than everyone else, and occasionally he was disliked, but he came to junior high school and had the experience of playing the piano for the first time, the experience of being a student representative at the parent-teacher conference for the first time, and the experience of taking pictures with science fiction writers...... Many girls in our class will help him, and for a while his leg was broken, and a few boys will at least help him carry a schoolbag, although they don't say that they will help him with a school bag.

In the past, he spoke in a very small voice, as if he were holding it in his throat, but on a recent duty, he asked loudly under the podium, "Have you finished remembering?" I just then realized that I don't know when his voice could be released. The space he occupies in this world seems to be a little bigger.

(The cover picture shows Mr. Biao.) ）

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