How are you doing?
I don't know if when you see this question, you bow your head in silence, do you have an urge to cry, or do you think you're doing okay?
Today I want to talk about those who have been having a bad time, because I know that this part of the population is in great pain inside. But they think they have no choice but to continue to suffer, to continue to suffer.
However, what I want to say is: no, the reason why you have been living badly is not because you have no way to live well, not because you were born to suffer, not that fate is particularly unfair to you, and not because you think you are incompetent and incapable.
Actually, the reason why you have been having a bad time is because you have been suffering for the sake of suffering.
Although you feel that your life is miserable, you are used to it, so it is easier for you to endure the pain than to change.
Once I heard Fan Deng talk with Zhang Defen, Zhang Defen said a sentence from Hellinger: It is easier to suffer than to solve problems, and it is easier to bear misfortune than to enjoy happiness.
You may ask, who would choose to suffer if they didn't have to suffer, and who would choose to suffer if they could enjoy happiness?
So, please calm down and think about it, is it really not your own choice that all this is your own?
It's all your own choice, you choose to let yourself suffer all the time,
Lovelorn people have been mired in the pain of falling out of love, didn't they choose for themselves?
People who are always negative about life have always lived a pessimistic life, didn't they choose it themselves?
Those who are in debt and can't save money, aren't they chosen for themselves?
Aren't the people who have always been able to do some very hard work by themselves?
If they really want to change their current situation, are they forced to change it? No, they choose to become a victim in order to escape change.
Zhang Defen said: "Nine times out of ten, we will always encounter unsatisfactory things in our lives, so it is relatively easy for us to become a victim. ”
If you think about it, when you fall out of love, the pain will instinctively come out of your heart, you don't have to make any effort at all, you are already miserable.
But to make yourself not miserable, you need to do a lot of things, you need to adjust your mentality, change your perspective on things, you also need to do some things that make you happy and happy, but these things, for you at that time, are more difficult to do than usual, because at that time, when you turn yourself into a victim, you will feel that all this is someone else's fault, you are innocent, you will think why you have to bear this.
If you think like that, will you still change? You will just continue to play the role of victim and have more resentment towards others.
But what if you don't put yourself in the role of victim in the first place? you think that since two people can't stay together, it's better for each other to be separated, and even though the relationship doesn't work out, it doesn't matter, the important thing is that you've experienced the feeling of love, and that's enough.
You don't deny yourself either, and you will continue to love yourself and be good to yourself because you believe you are worthy of being loved.
So, are things completely different? You won't be in the pain of falling out of love all the time, and maybe you've gained a lot and grown a little because of it.
Take myself as an example, after the limited number of relationships I have experienced, I am more certain that I am a person worthy of love, and if others don't love me, it is not my problem, it only means that we are not suitable to be together. So, now I don't let myself suffer as much as I did at the beginning.
If you have been living on others all the time and cannot live independently, then ask yourself, why do you have to live this life? Can't you work hard with your own hands?
Of course you can, but you didn't do it, you still chose to continue to live this life of relying on others, then at this moment, if you feel humble and inferior, you should not have any complaints, because this is what you choose, what you choose, you have to bear.
If you feel that you are not good at work, you make a little money every month, you are not enough to spend, you have a lot of foreign debts, and you don't know when you will be able to pay it off, then why don't you think of other ways, why don't you work hard to improve your abilities?
If your ability can only make you so much money, then whose problem is it that you complain about making less money?
You can improve your abilities by working hard, and if your abilities improve, the more money you will earn. But you don't want to, you always think that everyone else is because someone helps, everyone else is because of good luck, and everyone else lives better than you for various reasons, so you complain about life and fate.
Because it's much easier for you to make an excuse than to work hard.
Therefore, don't say that you can only live this kind of suffering life, no one forces you, it is your own choice, you can choose to change, you can choose to continue, but I really want to say, don't continue.
We come into this world, no matter how we live, in the end, it is an experience, and it will eventually come to an end, so why not make yourself better?
When your life comes to an end, and you look back, you're likely to regret the things you wanted to do but didn't do, rather than the things you did.
So, be brave, do what you want, what kind of life you want, go in that direction, don't be afraid, do it, it's always better than not doing it.
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