Recently, I was reading Yu Hua's "We Live in a Huge Gap", which talks about Beijing boys and Northwest girls. The gap between the dreams of two children living in the same era makes people feel that one lives in Europe today and the other lives in Europe 400 years ago.
This phenomenon is not only a difference between regions, but also a microcosm of the interweaving of family, education, and gender reasons.
I happened to be born in a backward environment, I was very poor materially, I barely finished college with the help of poverty grants, I was very poor in spirit, and the education and resources I received were extremely limited.
I learned to carry water at the age of 5, started washing and cooking for my family at the age of 15, and earned my own income at the age of 16. I didn't have pretty clothes and delicate dolls, a school uniform to wear in the spring and into the winter.
In front of the house is a golden rice field, and behind the house is a rolling hill. When I wasn't studying at home, I would go to the fields to do farm work, peeling corn, harvesting rice, and pulling peanuts. My family doesn't care if my grades are good or bad, as long as I am sensible and capable, and spend less money.
When I was looking through the geography textbook in junior high school, I learned that there are 23 provinces, 5 autonomous regions, and 4 municipalities directly under the central government in China, and my hometown is not the only one in the world.
In the first 20 years, I tried my best to study and make money, entered the factory, served dishes, distributed leaflets, and wrote manuscripts, and finally settled in Shenzhen, where I got a slight improvement in income and vision.
As a low-level girl, even if I enter a first-tier city, the information and resources I have access to are quite limited, so I can only seize the time after work to make up for my own lessons.
After graduating from college for more than six years, he has read 194 books, exercised for 1,845 days, listened to podcasts for 586 hours, written 676 original articles, deposited 6 figures, and traveled to 5 cities.
I am really small as dust, but fortunately, I relied on my own efforts to climb out of the bottom little by little, and every step was to come out by myself, and talk about some of my shallow views on the counterattack of girls at the bottom.
▼ 01 Learn to take the initiative to endure hardships
Girls at the bottom have no family support, and if they don't take the initiative to endure hardships, their future lives will be miserable in a more cruel way.
I wanted to be admitted to my ideal high school, so I hid under the covers late at night to read, and finally got 7 A's in the middle school exam. I wanted to enter the ideal company, insisted on brushing questions after work until the early hours of the morning, and finally got the offer. Rely on your own step-by-step efforts to reverse the fate of the girls at the bottom.
Some of the post-90s sisters who grew up with me did not take the initiative to fight for it when they were young, and were forced to stop studying when they were in junior high school or high school, and finally obeyed the arrangements of their families, married the same low-level families, and gave birth to children, which only copied her life.
In most rural families, girls are regarded as "daughters-in-law of other people's families" who are temporarily fostered, and are naturally not valued, and are treated as a labor force when they are not married, and take on the heavy childcare and household chores in the new family after marriage. If you don't have the opportunity to awaken and marry early and have children at will, it will be difficult for fate to flop again.
Girls at the bottom should endure more hardships while they are young, and take the initiative to endure the hardships of study, work, and fitness. Believe me, all the hardships that have been endured will have a time to be sweet.
▼ 02 Cultivate a strong kernel
Girls at the bottom are not only poor in material things, but also have a sense of inner deprivation. Sensitive, inferior, internal friction, and flattering...... Like an invisible shackle.
I have always had excellent grades and have been liked by my teachers, but I have not been treated well at home. Because my parents' evaluation system for me has never been about academic performance, but about what they think is "sensible".
I started to earn money independently, and as I earned more and more, I gradually grew self-confidence. The wider the boundaries I can explore, the more I have, and the richer my heart becomes.
Now I don't prove to my family that I have my own evaluation system. No matter how much money I make, what house I live in, I live for myself.
No matter the wind and rain in the outside world, the girls at the bottom must get rid of the expectations of others throughout their lives, find their true selves, take root steadily, grow savagely, and create a higher version of themselves.
▼ 03 Deepen the ability to make money
Girls at the bottom should have the ability to make money independently, continue to seek upwards, and break through the existing circle as soon as possible. Invest the time spent on watching moments and dramas, learn more new skills, and hone your professional ability.
In today's fast-changing society, a single skill is no longer enough. Even if you get a good degree, you may not be able to withstand the waves of time.
We have to be like a big tree, not only with a thick trunk, but also with luxuriant branches. Feel free to open up new land and shade yourself with more space.
I know an 83-year-old sister, who was married at the age of 21 and divorced at the age of 27.
She went to Guangdong to make a living on her own, and at first she did a low-threshold job, but later spent money to learn traditional Chinese medicine and essential oil healing, and kept reading a lot in her spare time. Now she is living more and more brightly, has her own studio, has money and confidence.
Before we make any money, we make ourselves worthy. Worth money is more important than making money, value is money to ask people, and making money is people to ask for money.
Having the professional skills to make money will always be a passport to walk the world.
▼ 04 Be your own backer
Emotions between people are like knitting a sweater. When knitting, every stitch and thread needs to be treated with care. When you reach the end, you only need to pull lightly to dissolve into scattered threads.
Everyone will run, and the mountains will fall. Parents will grow old, friendships will change, and partners may be separated. In this life, we ourselves are the protagonists, everyone else is NPC, and only ourselves are the most reliable.
In my hometown, parents will have the idea of seeking relatives and friends, and such ideas are often unreliable.
In the novel "Ordinary World", Lu Yao said this paragraph through Sun Shaoping's heart: "When we were children, we often regarded the word relative as beautiful and important. Once we are adults and start living independently, we quickly learn that kinship is often vulgar, that you try to get rid of each other, and that you roll your eyes when you don't, and that even the biggest difficulties in your life are often caused by your relatives. “
I was born into a large family and felt the same way. I was not blessed by my relatives, but I felt endless comparisons and pulls.
Girls at the bottom have limited connections and resources. Placing your hopes in others will backfire.
The essence of relatives is the exchange of interests, seeking aura and refuge from each other, once the interests are unbalanced, the seemingly intimate relationship will be instantly estranged. People who used to be sheltered from the wind and rain may also plunge people into darkness at some point.
When we turn to others, it means to be subject to them. At the critical juncture of life, only you can redeem yourself.
▼ 05 Always love yourself
Suzen Says:
When it comes to loving yourself, you can only know that the more you love yourself, the more charming it is.
Audrey Hepburn is my favorite goddess, she was born into a low-class family and later became a bright star on the silver screen. She is not only beautiful on the outside, but also confident and free on the inside, and self-love makes her elegant and charming. In her later years, she insisted on doing charity and interpreting great love with her actions.
Shakespeare said that it is not all gold that shines, because it may itself be a diamond.
Every time I read Xiao Hong, I sigh for this talented female writer. She fought hard for love, and eventually encountered betrayal and abandonment. She was displaced for her lover, but in the end she could only spend the rest of her life on the sickbed.
In the real world, she has no control over her own destiny. She loves others like moths to a fire, like the words she writes, affectionate and fiery, burning herself, but failing to keep the people she loves.
Loving ourselves is a compulsory lesson in life, and we don't have to get full marks, and it's hard to get full marks.
But when you take the initiative to distance yourself from all unhealthy relationships, whether it's food, people, things, or circumstances, and everything that deviates from your true self, it's self-love.
Every girl who works hard deserves to be seen, and every girl who persists deserves to be respected.
There are no fierce women in a well-off family, and fierce women are all ruthless characters, not ruthless, not harsh to people, but tenacious and powerful. No matter what age you are, you must have the ability to cover yourself and love yourself thousands of times.
I sincerely hope that all the girls at the bottom will have a bright future and a promising future. ❤️
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About the Author:
Chen Zipage, freelancing, relies on self-media to achieve a free life of only working and not working, focusing on self-media writing, personal growth, physical and mental growth and other sharing. Fitness, reading books and texts, self-discipline to help others have fun, and live your life according to your own wishes.