"Looking back after 6 years, it was the most correct decision I made to transfer my child from a prestigious school to a general primary school..."

This article is authorized to be reprinted from: Little Peanut Network Author: Button 313 Spring is coming, and it's the school season again. If you have a young and a young baby, you will be a little nervous and anxious. Almost all the educational pressure in our society comes from two words: "hope". Almost every mom and dad wants their children to get into prestigious schools around ... Compared with ordinary schools, most of the "famous schools" in China today, children are facing learning pressure earlier and more violently. A teacher from a famous school in a first-tier city said:

I watched the children enter the school in the first grade with vigor and aura, but in the fifth or sixth grade, they can't say "stunned", but this fresh breath is never seen again. No way, too much homework to catch up, too many rules to follow, too much pressure to bear...

In this regard, mom @button313 empathizes. When she was young, she went to great lengths to send her children to a prestigious local elementary school, but in the third grade, she decided to transfer her children from this prestigious school to a regular school... At that time, someone persuaded her: When you reach middle school, you will definitely regret choosing "ordinary elementary school". Now, six or seven years have passed, and we have followed up and interviewed the mother: How is the child developing now? She said: "It was the most correct decision I made to let my child transfer from a prestigious school to a general primary school. In this article, we can see the "complete school career" of children from kindergarten to primary school, transfer, junior high school and even to high school. After reading it, it may sweep away your "anxiety about going to school" ... The following is the mother's own statement.

Photo source: "Youth Pi" stills My son is in his third year of junior high school this year and is about to enter high school in September. Looking back on the past 15 years of raising children, I still feel that it was the most correct decision I made to transfer my child from a prestigious school to a general primary school. When I made the decision to "transfer schools", I was difficult and helpless, but looking back now, I only feel lucky.

Under the pressure of the "prosperous" first grade, our family lives in a city that attaches great importance to education, but good educational resources are basically concentrated in the old city.

We had no experience in buying a house, and the administrative district where we were located was relatively new, and the basic education force was relatively weak. The public offices in the district can't be ranked in the city, and I pouted deep down, I can't let my children go to bad public schools. The public is not good, let's go to the private. My father and I dragged on and let the child take the exam (which was allowed back then), and finally succeeded in getting a notice from a well-known local private school. Before the start of school, we took our children to visit the school, and when I looked at the brand-new teaching building, spacious playground, and advanced multi-functional classrooms, my heart was extremely steady. Looking at the child with a curious look at this, look at that, the old mother is full of yearning for the child's future growth. As a parent, all the hard work and struggle turned into relief at this moment.

Big and magnificent school, picture source network My childhood was very happy and wanton, although I was mentally prepared - today's children will be under more pressure than when we were young. But I think that after so many years of education reform, the current primary school education should also pay attention to nature and advocate freedom. However, reality often gives ideals a slap in the face. In the first semester of school, the tense air came in. Parents are required to check and sign every day's homework, and if there is any omission, the teacher will be named in the group; the teacher will test the words three times a day, morning test, evening test, and afternoon test, and the group will send the child's daily class test results, 100 points for whom, 99 points for whom, go home and change three mistakes, parents should attach great importance to it. Every day, there will be different groups of children in the WeChat group to take pictures on the podium and get back a variety of praise letters with different names, once a month for the exam, and every month parents write a problem analysis. WeChat groups and QQ groups are overwhelmed with all kinds of information. After two months, I have formed a conditioned reflex, and when I receive a call from the teacher, I will unconsciously sit up straight, and I can't wait to hold the phone in both hands to talk back to the teacher, and I feel more nervous than receiving a call from the big leader of the unit. My son is already introverted and doesn't like to talk, so it's even harder for him to talk about his feelings. I can only feel it through the details (what the child and his classmates say). The first thing I felt was the pressure of the atmosphere. The children who have just come from the kindergarten do not have a sense of order, they don't listen to the instructions at all, and when the teacher shouts at the top of their voices, they will walk up to the children, pick up your pencil, and break it with an expressionless face, and the class is suddenly quiet. In physical education class when the weather is bad, the children will attend classes in the classroom, and if there is a noisy phenomenon, they will be required to practice the routine, and the practice routine is that everyone holds their arms, does not speak, sits quietly, and often has to sit for a class. Although the school campus is large, there are also many people. There are more than 10 classes in one grade, and each class has more than 50 children, and the school is like a vegetable market after class.

"Give Me an Eighteen-Year-Old" stills For safety, the school stipulates that the activity area of each class is a corridor of equal width corresponding to the class, and you can't go anywhere else except for the toilet. But the corridor was full of people coming and going, and there was no place to stand, so let's sit in the classroom. There seem to be a lot of activities at school, but each activity is rushed, such as a half-day triple jump sports day, a noon concert, and a two-class reading festival. Moreover, not every child can go to observe the activity, except for individual group activities, it is the children who participate in the activity who go quietly and return quietly.

Then there's the course pressure. The teachers feel very hard, once a month, before the monthly exam, mid-term exam, and final exam, the children have to do a lot of papers and exercises, and the child's father said that he feels that his son's monthly exam is the same as our college entrance examination that year. Every year at the beginning of the semester, we will distribute a lot of books, including ideological character, calligraphy, reading, etc., but these books are still new by the end of the semester, because all the sub-subjects are used for Chinese and mathematics. In addition to art and physical education, one class a week is guaranteed, and the teachers are basically "sick for a long time" in other classes.

The children's test papers and homework taken in 2016 and so on, all kinds of details, made me feel very uncomfortable. I didn't find anything to discover the release and freedom I was looking forward to, and my children talked less and less about school. But the child's grades are very good, almost every time the teacher praises him, every time he takes pictures, there are more and more praise letters at home - sunny boy, scholarly family. We have also received a lot of honors from the school, and every time these make me suppress the anxiety in my heart, I keep comforting myself that it will be better slowly.

Composed and corporal punishment

From the second grade of the "breakdown", the child begins to learn to write essays, which is a challenge in itself for a child who does not like to talk. But I didn't expect that this challenge forced me to have nowhere to turn. The child's first essay asked me to write about extracurricular life, and I thought it was very simple, but I didn't expect to write it four times over and over again. For the first time, children like to read books and watch cartoons outside of class, and the teacher requires them to be active in extracurricular life;

The second time I wrote about taekwondo, the teacher said that I wanted to write about what the results were, and the third time I wrote about taekwondo, I was very happy to win the award, and the teacher said that extracurricular life is not for winning awards. I couldn't bear it anymore, so I personally "tutored" the child to write an essay, and finally passed the test.

After a few times, the composition became a nightmare in the hearts of me and the child, and every time there was an essay assignment, the child would call me for his life, and I would run home as soon as possible. The original intention of writing each essay has become "passing". In order to pass the test, I would carefully ask the teacher how to speak, how to ask for the beginning, how to ask for the structure, how to position the main theme, and what kind of quality to require. I also wondered if it was only so difficult for us to write essays, but then I read the excellent sample essays sent by the teacher and found that the excellent essays were almost exactly the same. Children are increasingly afraid of writing essays, and they don't even know how to write, because the result of free play is likely to be rewriting over and over again. The most unbearable thing is that the teacher asks the child to memorize every passed essay, even the punctuation cannot be wrong. Because the essay in the second grade exam is very simple, the topic is the essay written this semester, and you can get a high score by memorizing the essay. In order to overcome this dilemma, I communicated with the teacher many times, but with little success. The teacher firmly believes that as long as you read more model essays and memorize them, one day the child will write a good composition. I was almost irritable, I was a graduate student in the liberal arts and couldn't handle the composition of the third grade of elementary school, but people had to bow their heads under the roof, and the composition had to be written according to the teacher's requirements.

In 2017, an incident occurred in the second semester of the second year of the bitter water posted in the circle of friends, which tore the seemingly peaceful atmosphere in the class into a big hole. I was on a business trip that day, and in a group of parents without a teacher, a mother suddenly sent a photo of her child's red and swollen cheeks. The child's mother said that it was smashed by the teacher with a book. One stone stirred up a thousand waves, and many mothers in the group stood up and said that their children were also corporal punishment by the teacher today. The form of corporal punishment is beaten with a book, because the homework is not completed well on the weekend, and the error rate of unfair writing is relatively high. The child in the photo may have lost his hand and seen blood. This incident triggered a series of reactions, and the mothers in the class quickly divided into two factions, because the math teacher's teaching performance was obvious to all, she was very serious, and almost every night at eleven or twelve o'clock in the group to analyze the children's homework and test papers. She does provide a lot of good ways to learn math and help children develop a lot of good habits. But this is not the first time that this teacher has used corporal punishment of students, and the scope of corporal punishment of students is very large. In the class, except for the class leader and my son, I have not been beaten, and the rest have been beaten. It is said that the teacher walked up to my son that day and raised his hand, but he didn't fight. When I heard this, I was scared for a while, and I thought to myself how frightened and scared my child must have been at that time.

I firmly stood in the camp of the opposition and insisted on changing the teacher. In any case, I can't let my children live in fear. I sent him to school to teach him equality, respect and honor. Although he was not beaten, he watched the teacher beating other children every day, and watching the teacher ask other children to punish other students, what did the word self-esteem mean to him? During the whole incident, the teacher did not stand up and say a word, and she was suspended for one month, but she still stood on the podium of our class after the winter vacation. This incident made me deeply reflect on my original choice, what kind of school do I want to give my child? Maybe the incident of corporal punishment can be changed, but what about the teaching habits, teaching atmosphere, and teaching philosophy of the whole school? I began to reflect on my own lack of care for my child, whether the child is as happy as we imagined every day, whether I really like school and learning? We are more concerned about his grades, but what about his psychological growth behind the grades? What about his mental health? Do we care about it as much as we care about grades?

Stills from "Little Shede", I began to patiently talk to the child to find out about the big and small events that happened in his school, and I began to communicate with the child's classmates to understand their ecological environment at school. It left me in a state of confusion, pain but unable to struggle. I asked my child: Why don't you tell your mother when you go to school like this every day?

The child said, "What can I tell you?" You can't help me. He also said: Mom, don't worry, I can do what the teacher asks, and I can protect myself. Can you imagine the desperation in my heart when I hear my child say these words?

When I found the third grade, I didn't think about changing schools, because I never wanted to jump out of this circle, but I was just thinking about how to make my children as happy as possible in the current environment. But as soon as the third grade started, I suddenly noticed that one of our friends was missing. It turned out that there was more than one mother who had the same troubles as me, and one mother took the first brave step. This mother was the one who stood firmly with me in the opposition to the corporal punishment incident, and she was looking for a new way out as soon as she found that the school's teaching philosophy did not match her family's educational philosophy. Her transfer gave me a new direction and gave me new hope. It turns out that we don't have to stay here forever, I can have another choice!

Once the mind of "Detachment" stills was active, I could no longer stop, and I began to actively convince the father of the child. Although the child's father also knows the child's situation in general, because I am always in contact with the school, he does not know the situation of the school in detail enough. He was a little hesitant, after all, we didn't know what the new school would look like. In order to reassure him and to reassure myself, I began to actively research the new school, which is where the mother transferred her child. I thought that since she must have chosen there for her reasons, she had the same needs as me, so did the school she chose also have the same needs as me? In the first semester of the third grade, I have been in close contact with her, understanding the dynamics of her class group, understanding her daily homework, and learning about every activity in their school. I found this school very interesting. In addition to textbooks, students learn other content such as idioms and ancient poems. There is not much information about the class group, and the teacher rarely comments on the classmates in the group, and there are no so-called excellent students taking pictures and punching cards. When the teacher goes to the field for training, he will bring back gifts to the children and praise them a lot.

I don't think it's going to be worse than it is now! After doing my father's job, we began to actively contact the transfer of schools, but fortunately, the child is competitive and has good grades. As soon as the first semester of Year 3 ended, we submitted our transfer application and our child successfully passed the transfer exam. In the second semester of Year 3, we successfully transferred to our new school. The child's transfer caused quite a stir in the original class. Because in their opinion, my son is a good child who fully meets the requirements of the teacher, he does not have problems with homework, and his grades are at the top of the class. He is not mischievous, he does not cause trouble in the class, and the teacher rarely punishes him. Many classmates' mothers sent me WeChat messages asking for reasons for transferring, and I could only laugh and say that I felt that he was a little stressed and wanted him to relax.

Stills from "Little Shede".

After transferring,

My son finally regained his "new life" To be honest, I was also very nervous when I changed schools, because of this big step, I don't know if it was right or wrong. Here are a few things I did:

• Actively keep in touch with the teachers at the school to keep track of your child's integration into the new class.
• Lower your child's demands and focus on his emotions and daily routine.
• Encourage him to make friends and integrate into the class faster.

Fortunately, the teacher gave us a lot of tolerance, the classmates were also very simple and lovely, the old classmates were very powerful, and introduced their good friends to their son, and in less than a month he mingled with the classmates and made a lot of new friends.

In the three years that my son has been studying at his new school, I have been grateful for my decision countless times. After his son entered the new school, he sincerely sighed: There are schools and teachers in the world that he loves so much. For the first time in this school, he really felt the equal care of teachers, and also understood what a collective is and what collective honor is. In the new school, he released his long-suppressed nature, and his grades and sports have improved greatly. When I got to my new school, I didn't have to worry about writing essays anymore. The children's small practice can be completed independently, and the composition is completed in the classroom and sent after the final exam. Looking at the whimsical composition, I almost laughed out loud.

In 2018, when I was on a business trip for a week, my son had two small pen exercises, and I was very worried, but I didn't expect my son to say that he was fine. The rope skipping project that we were proud of in the old school is a "crane tail" in the new school. But the new school is very sports-oriented, the school has different varsity teams such as track and field, basketball, football, cheerleading, etc., daily morning training, twice a week evening training, and every day there are sports tasks. The son's jump rope quickly increased from 140 in a single shake a minute to more than 200. The shuttlecock has increased from a dozen in two minutes to 100 and 200 in two minutes, and finally broke the regional record for kicking shuttlecock!

Every teacher in the picture worm creative school is very loving, and every praise is praised by the "collective" unit, and the most common thing to say in the parent-teacher meeting is: our whole class has made great progress; The teacher-student relationship is also very good. Every teacher at the school is so good at joking with the children that the children are almost impulsive to ask for candy in the principal's office at Christmas. The teachers will take every idea of the child seriously, the math teacher will carefully correct the son's whimsical test paper with a zero score, and the head teacher will buy all kinds of educational toys in order to guide the children not to run around after class, and the English teacher will needless to say, that is a walking pistachio. Teachers seriously think about how to drive children's internal drive, establish different learning groups for different children, and make timely adjustments so that children can catch up with each other, which is really a comparison of learning.

My son wanted to take a paper with a zero score, but he racked his brains and got 2 points, and came back and sighed that it was really more difficult to score 0 than 100 points. The teachers laughed, and the baby was happy enough in school~ In addition, the child's personality has also changed a lot. He became more and more talkative, and every night he would share with me about his studies and life at school, as well as various things big and small between him and his classmates. He began to be willing to run for class cadres, and succeeded in going from a propaganda committee member to a deputy squad leader to a squad leader within a year. Because the teacher gave the class cadres the right to manage the class, he began to learn to preside over the class meeting, organize various activities of the class with other class cadres, deal with the conflicts between the classmates, and even negotiate with the class leader because the classmates in the class were bullied by other class students. I just found out that he can talk a lot, who said he was introverted?

In the past three years, the child's footsteps have not stopped because of the transfer, but have gone faster. He has participated in a lot of competitions inside and outside the school, has taken on a lot of new challenges, his confusion has been answered, his frustration ability is getting better and better, and he has worked harder.

I always felt that this was the right thing to do. Primary education should not only be immersed in learning, but also should be the cultivation of three views. I think that a good three views may be more important for children than what they learn. Because this is the initial stage of the formation of his outlook on life and values. What the world should be like, what is good and what is bad, it should be at this time, he has a seed in his heart.

Entering junior high school,

When my son was full of stamina and chose a school for junior high school, we also learned the lesson of school choice for kindergarten to primary school - not to take "famous school" and "grades" as the first purpose of evaluation, we must choose a school that is suitable for us, so we are actively learning about each school very early in advance. The personalities and characteristics of the junior high schools at the head of our house are very distinct. A school is known for its "high pressure", and since the beginning of junior high school, I have to attend classes 6 days a week, and my school grades have been excellent, but the children are really miserable, and the depression rate is high. The children who have friends around them are in this school, and the baby completely gave up studying when she was in the third year of junior high school. This kind of learning pressure and state is very similar to the school where the first and second grade children go to school, and we don't like it very much. From my heart, we are a very ordinary family - my father and I are also very ordinary people, and the baby is also an ordinary person, so we don't have particularly high expectations for our children. I provide him with good conditions, and he can go wherever he wants. Whenever I had to choose between my son and a child who was good at studying, I would definitely choose my son. Because he is my child, I accept everything from him unconditionally.

Stills from "The Old Man of Mountains and Rivers", so we inquired about the situation of this school, and first excluded school A. Later, I went around and heard about school B, which has a heavier humanistic atmosphere, although the ranking may not be as good as school A, but there are many special activities in the school, and the most important thing is that all children can participate in these activities, and there are no make-up classes on Saturdays. We were lucky enough to get into this school, and when we came in, we found that we really had chosen the right one. Our teachers often say, "Parents are responsible for getting their children into school happily in the morning, and I am responsible for making them happy to come home every day." This school gives me the feeling that it is very similar to the primary school after our transfer, and the children also like it. I have never been anxious that this school will not have evening self-study, nor will I be anxious about not making up classes on Saturdays, but I especially like this "blank" arrangement. I believe that children's learning needs to be "self-triggered", especially at this stage of junior high school. He needs to get rid of the passive learning in primary school and learn to summarize, induct, and review by himself. Because it is impossible for someone to teach him how to learn all his life, one day he will have to learn to learn by himself. If the school takes up too much time, such as going to the training class on Saturdays and Sundays, and going to classes in the evening, when will the child use his own brain and when will he take the initiative to think? Therefore, in the first and second years of junior high school, his grades were not so outstanding, and the class ranking at that time may be 8~9, and the whole grade was stable at 300~400 (more than 1700 people in the whole grade). But I think it's okay, he has his own ideas, and he will always find a way that suits him.

The son who entered junior high school to rekindle his enthusiasm for reading won the trophy of the Reading Star Sure enough, after entering the third year of junior high school, his son's learning has made a "qualitative" leap, and he is full of stamina.

I found that he started to think slowly, and he would also observe how others were studying, and then figure out for himself how he could make his studies better and his grades better... He began to plan for himself slowly. Although he is still a bit biased and the Taoism is a bit of a lag, his current state is: I know that this thing is very important to me, and although I may not particularly like this subject, I will also try to do it well. I think this big change in mentality is the biggest gain he has gained through school education and family cultivation over the years. His thinking mode began to break away from the childishness of the child and move towards maturity, without the kind of rebellion after being "high-pressured", but very rational and relaxed to choose the most beneficial learning mode for himself. As the baby gradually enters the state, there has been a great breakthrough in learning. Since the beginning of the third year of junior high school, he has slowly rushed to the top 200 position in the whole grade, and if he is better, he can enter the top 100. Now I am full of ambition to go to school every day, and although I am also tired, I am in a very good state.

The son who continues to play in competitions after entering junior high school (when VEX Robotics is preparing for the competition).

In the end, there is no good or bad school, the key is to see whether the child is suitable or not. Not all families are suitable for a relaxed and free school, but only when the temperament of the school matches the needs of the family, the degree of home-school cooperation will be higher. If I had to do it all over again, I would definitely not just ask about fame and admission rate, and I wouldn't be confused by the "glamorous" appearance of the school, I think I would do the following things:1. Think about what kind of education I want to have in my heart, and what my bottom line is.

2. I will look for different schools to make comparisons. Ask students in different grades, listen to their feelings, look at their daily homework, look at their class groups, and see what they really do every day.

3. Look at the school's activities, the importance of sports, the importance of reading, which can be used to understand whether the school's philosophy is as advertised. A suitable primary school for your child will reduce your chances of heart attack in the next six years, this is a heartfelt statement...

Author丨Button 313 Source丨This article is reprinted from Xiaopeanut.com (WeChat ID: xiaohuasheng99), a WeChat public account focusing on sharing advanced and practical educational resources at home and abroad.

 
  
          
 
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