It's been a while since the start of school, and the homeroom teacher has said several times in the group that individual students' self-care ability should be strengthened, at least pack up their schoolbags every day, bring their homework together, and don't always lose everything.
A mother replied with a good word in the group with an embarrassed expression. When I looked at it, it turned out to be Hanghang's mother.
Hang Hang's mother complained in the parent group, she can't help it, the child probably doesn't like to clean up by nature, the schoolbag doesn't like to clean up, and the room doesn't like to clean up, like a dog kennel.
Hang Hang's mother sighed, can the child be corrected like this?
Are there children who are naturally lazy? I believe there are probable. So can parents deliberately cultivate children to develop good living habits?
I believe that it is also possible.
The two sisters in my family have very different personalities.
Dabao is lazy, and the boy mentioned above Hang Hang has a fight, the room does not like to clean up, the next day to rummage through the cabinet to find socks is a common thing, before going out to sort out the schoolbag is also commonplace. Therefore, Dabao's life is often chaotic.
Once because Dabao lost his homework, I went to school to deliver homework, and then I criticized her, she defended, we quarreled, and next time Dabao will still be the same. Now that Dabao is in junior high school, although she is still lazy, fortunately, the number of homework drops has been greatly reduced, and I am much more at ease.
On the other hand, Erbao is organized and diligent. Erbao's clothes, she would take them out the night before and put them next to the bed. This habit has been formed since she was in kindergarten. Erbao's schoolbag was packed up after she finished her homework, and she picked up her schoolbag and left the next day. This habit was formed after she went to elementary school.
Compared with his sister, Erbao's life is much more organized and calm. Of course, this also saves me a lot of worry.
I reflected on the education of the sisters, Dabao's room was a mess and she didn't like to tidy up, not because she didn't have this ability, but because she didn't develop such a good habit.
In fact, many children do not develop such a habit, put away the dishes and chopsticks after eating, or throw the book to the side after reading the book, leave it alone after finishing the homework, and look for it everywhere the next day.
In the face of such a child, it is inevitable that parents will be angry, but sometimes, they are also very helpless, why don't children do things that can be done easily? In fact, this is related to the connivance of parents.
According to a survey, 90% of parents will help their children clean up their rooms, 8% will urge their children to clean up themselves, and 2% will ignore them. It can be seen that the unconditional help of parents is the main reason why children are lazy and do not like to tidy up.
I remember that when Dabao was a child, we lived in a small two-bedroom apartment, in addition to our family of three, my husband's eldest sister was also there. For half a year, my mother-in-law came to take care of Dabao, and the family was even more crowded. Dabao is more than two years old, and the eldest sister got married and moved away, but her husband's younger sister moved in again. When Erbao was born, we were a family of four, mother-in-law and sister-in-law, six people crowded into a 70-square-meter space, Dabao didn't have his own room, and he kept sleeping with me, so he couldn't experience what it was like to clean up his room. A lot of the time, I clean up for her.
The child does not like to tidy up the room and loses everything, not because he is incapable, but because he has not developed good habits.
In addition, psychologist Sun Yumei also pointed out that children do not like to tidy up, in fact, there are other reasons.
The first reason is the bad example effect.
If there is a bad example in the family, for example, the father does not like to tidy up the room and often throws things around, the child will follow the example and put his things everywhere, which will lead to the child not being able to develop good habits.
The second reason is the inappropriate parenting method of parents.
When children form certain bad habits, if parents only stop at criticizing, complaining, and blaming, instead of instructing children on how to correct bad habits, children will not be able to develop good habits.
For example, parents don't tell their children that they should clean up their own rooms, how to organize their clothes to keep their closets from looking cluttered, or how to arrange books to keep their desks tidy. This leads to a lack of self-care skills. Therefore, it is not surprising that the child's room is messy but he does not know how to clean up.
The third reason is that parents do not help their children establish a sense of order.
Psychologists point out that before the age of 4 is a sensitive period for the establishment of a sense of order. At this stage, children need to understand the order of daily routines and daily habits. If parents do not pay attention to the cultivation of this aspect, the child will not establish a good sense of order, and the phenomenon of littering and not tidying up will naturally occur.
I feel a little sorry for this, for some reason, Dabao didn't have her own room until she was 8 years old, and I neglected to cultivate her sense of order.
In life, many children's bad habits are a headache for parents. In addition to parents taking too much care of their children and liking to take care of their children's lives, it also has a certain relationship with today's social atmosphere. Of course, it is a bit difficult to get children to correct bad habits in a short period of time, but as long as parents are willing to take the time to teach their children and have the patience to accompany them to correct them slowly, I believe that over time, children's performance will get better and better.
Teacher Sun Yumei gave two suggestions to parents.
First, the sweet lemon effect.
Parents should not blindly see only the child's shortcomings and bad habits, but let the child see his own advantages and good habits, and praise the child from time to time, which will strengthen the child's good habits, and the child will pay more attention to this aspect of behavior.
For example, if a child cleans up the dishes and chopsticks after eating, parents can praise her for knowing that they want to take the dishes and chopsticks to the kitchen after eating, which is really a good habit and worthy of praise.
Second, use the incentive effect.
If the child has already started to work hard to correct his shortcomings, parents should give the child recognition and, if necessary, some encouragement, regardless of the results. For example, reward your child for a snack he likes to eat or take him out to play.
I believe that with both material and spiritual incentives, it will be easier for children to correct bad habits.
Freezing three times is not a day's cold, and it is not a few days before children can correct their shortcomings, so parents should give their children a little more time and believe that they will do better.
Good living habits, such as loving cleanliness and being organized, will make children more calm and calm, and will also make children more confident, excellent and independent.
May we all raise such a child.