A lifetime of fighting, flying against the wind.
She has had ups and downs in her life, climbing to the top, falling through the trough, crossing the hills and returning to the flat ground again.
After thousands of sails, now she is looking inward, pleasing herself and altruism, and living out a sense of personal meaning in life.
In the sixth season of the interview program "Shede Wisdom People", jointly produced by Shede Liquor, Phoenix.com, and Dragon TV, this issue talks to Wu Shihong, former general manager of Microsoft China.
I must not waste my life again
In 1963, Wu Shihong was born in a large compound in Beijing, because of her poor background and excellent grades, she only went to junior high school and dropped out. After much work, she was eventually assigned to work as a nurse in a street hospital.
However, fate played a joke on her, and soon after work, Wu Shihong contracted a rare blood disease.
From 1979 to 1983, she had a long-term struggle with illness, and her inability to take care of herself made her feel numb, like a "walking dead". He was bedridden for four years and experienced three critical illnesses, two of which were near-death.
It wasn't until her physical condition began to improve that she had a strong desire to change. She didn't want to accept her fate, she wanted to change to a job that paid a little more, and she had to work with healthy people.
"The four years of illness have been very stimulating to me, and I must not waste my life again."
The vitality is very wonderful, when Wu Shihong finally had a little choice, she gave up the previous "iron rice bowl", and immediately took action to change and break out of another world.
Wu Shihong joined IBM in 1985 and served as the general manager of IBM South China, joined Microsoft in 1997 as the general manager of Microsoft China, and was named one of the "50 Most Influential Women in the World" by Fortune magazine in 2001 and 2002.
However, IBM's move to Microsoft China was not all smooth sailing, and she faced the hills that hindered her growth.
After Wu Shihong took up his post at Microsoft China, he announced that he would make "Microsoft China" into "Microsoft China", and a series of project actions affected the interests of his subordinate foreign employees.
Two subordinates were in charge of "channels" and "customers", and under the joint obstruction, the business came to a standstill.
Looking back, Wu Shihong still feels that it was a thrilling time, in a moment of crisis, her nature told her not to fail, and her intuition told her that there was still something to do.
So she made a decision, let two subordinates resign voluntarily, and temporarily served as the director of the two businesses, and finally successfully overcame the difficulties and crossed the hills on the road of career development.
The so-called giving, just give up to get. With the vigor of savage growth, Wu Shihong gave up his stable work, flew against the wind, and gained a new life.
As she said, "I am taking the initiative in passivity, running forward with all my might."
Smash the obsession of "I can't fail".
The success of his career has made Wu Shihong gathered in the spotlight and is highly sought after and admired.
"There will be thousands of people every year, chasing the light, and some people shouting 'Nantianwang', I quickly got up and waved, and sat down again, it should be a very bright moment."
At that time, she was very busy every day, getting up at seven o'clock and returning home at twelve o'clock in the evening, and there were almost two or three drinking parties a day.
When she got home, the first thing she did was take off her high heels, then sat down against the wall and started drinking.
She seemed to be in a depressed mood.
She performs positivity during the day, and when she comes home at night, exhaustion and anxiety take her upon her.
The worst was in 2002, when she suffered a heart attack and almost died.
So she began to think about the eulogy, and looking back, she said: "This man was poor and sick for the first half of his life, and he was dead in the second half of his life. Don't you have a eulogy to write?"
At that stage, she always had the obsession of "I can't fail", and even if she was tired, she would actively perform and devote herself to doing a good job in the various roles she played.
"I don't seem to allow myself to waver, like an ostrich, bowing my head and telling myself that I can't fail."
From the highlight moment, Wu Shihong encountered the autumn wind again.
In 2013, she failed to start a business, lost her savings, took huge debts, suffered severe depression, and fell into the "abyss".
She described those days as "in the company of the imagination of death", she said: "I was studying various ways to die every day, and I could not see a ray of light at the bottom of the abyss."
It was a huge hill that she had to climb in her life.
Once after doing a live broadcast with a psychologist, she began to ask questions inward to really summarize the lessons of failure.
She said that deep down she was afraid of failure, and by extension, what was her definition of success?
At that time, she defined success as "going all the way up, being more successful than you were at the top of your career." ”
"You say it's so strange, I thought that the 'me' was the impression that lived in other people's eyes, but who was the other person?"
The inward question made her re-examine herself, and she felt that her whole body had been dredged, and the road ahead seemed to have a dawn, and she walked out of the predicament of "seeking death".
After nearly two decades of retirement, she returned as a business coach.
After ten years of deep cultivation, on the new journey, she has become more aware of herself, and has also helped and inspired many people in distress with the diligent way of self-life trial.
Life is like a journey, and only by knowing how to let go can we move forward better.
Leaving behind the obsession of "I can't fail", Wu Shihong successfully climbed another hill in his life, gained a new identity as a "coach", and found a long-term sense of meaning.
Pleasing myself and altruism, giving me a sense of worth
Wu Shihong fought all his life and flew against the wind.
From the highlight moment, he encountered the autumn wind again, and after being defeated, he stood up again.
She went from peak to valley, over the hills and back to the flat again.
Now, after thousands of sails, she is no longer inferior or public, but has found a balance point that can be self-consistent, more calm and calm.
She gave up some of her busy work and left more time for herself, which was priceless.
For her, success and happiness are about the same thing, and if you maintain a sense of meaning every day, you will reap happiness.
She said: "Human beings are small beings like grass, trees, and insects, and life has no meaning, but individual life should try to live every day with a sense of meaning."
"Pleasing oneself and altruism, giving me a sense of worth" is Wu Shihong's life realization after crossing the hill.
"Pleasing oneself" means returning the sense of meaning to oneself and doing it for oneself, while "altruism" means doing things that are beneficial to others, so that "pleasing oneself" will be more permanent and intense.
Humans are social creatures, and we spend our lives interacting with others, both as performers and as spectators.
Under the guidance of "standardized life", we strive to play various social roles by being "good students", "good universities", "good jobs", "good wives", "good husbands" and "good parents".
But I often feel twisted and conflicted in the depths of my heart, is the standard life necessarily correct? Is the "good" in the eyes of others necessarily what I want?
Being nailed to the framework of "standards" and always living in the expectations of others will constantly compress the space of "self", and even if you achieve success in the secular sense, it will be difficult to be self-consistent.
Fight for a lifetime, over the hills.
Wu Shihong gave up his obsession with "successful image" and gained the open-mindedness of "no wind and rain and no sunshine".
May you and I be able to enjoy ourselves, find a free and self-consistent life in uncertain times, and find a sense of meaning in individual life.
Please pay attention to "Shede Wisdom People" jointly produced by Phoenix.com, Shede Liquor, and Dragon TV. Shede Liquor always chooses to use time to precipitate the quality of old wine, invites you to taste old wine together, learn wisdom, and take Shede as a ruler to solve for the times.