Parents of Depressed Kids: How Do I Get My Child Back?

The following article is from theLivings, written by Nanshan Qiu

Written on the front:

Parents know that there is no one method or formula that works for all children. But the parent-child boundary that is as thin as a cicada's wings will swing across if you are not careful, which really requires great wisdom to control.

 Wednesday

visual field 

Adolescent depression is now one of the focus of attention in the whole society. Although many experts believe that the causes of adolescent depression stem from more complex social and environmental factors, including family, school and society, the role of "parent" is the first to be criticized in the universal evaluation. The "2022 National Blue Book on Depression" also mentions that the two main causes of depression are emotional stress and family parent-child relationships.

At the beginning of the year, I began to pay attention to adolescent depression, and after approaching the parents of many depressed children, I clearly saw the inhumane suffering behind each family, and saw what those anxious and desperate parents went through in order to pull their depressed children out of the mire.

Xuanxuan's mother has been anxious for more than half a year.

Since the first half of this year, the relationship between 12-year-old Xuanxuan and his parents has deteriorated little by little, and finally reached a stalemate and hatred. In October, Xuan Xuan would only leave his room every day when he was eating, and after the three or five mouths finished eating, he immediately hid back, locked the door, closed the curtains, and did not communicate with his parents all day.

Xuanxuan's mother began to cry, and she even missed her son's state last month - in September, Xuanxuan had been out of the unit at least twice, "at least he could go out and talk to me occasionally." She reflected on why her son's condition had deteriorated further, and after ruling out various factors, she attributed it to her and her husband's attempts to change their son's dependence on mobile games in October. This provoked Xuan Xuan's anger, and hostile emotions spread.

Xuan Xuan is extremely obsessed with mobile games, and after taking a break from school at home this spring, he always holds his iPad in the palm of his hand, and at the most extreme time, he can go up to 48 hours without sleep. During the National Day holiday, Xuanxuan's father began to control his "game time", setting the iPad to not be used from 12 pm to 8 am, "whether to play games or not, put it aside, at least to ensure that the work and rest are normal."

Xuanxuan's father's worries are not unreasonable. Many parents of children who have taken a break from school have reported that once they leave the constraints of the regular school routine, their children live day and night upside down, playing games all night and catching up on sleep during the day.

But after setting the passcode for the iPad, the father and son soon ushered in the first conflict. Xuan Xuan roared angrily for his father to unlock the password, his eyes turned red: "Whether you give it to me or not, I will definitely not be able to sleep at night." Dad was unmoved and bought back a stack of novels: "If you can't sleep, you can read a book, and you can't play games anyway." ”

Xuan Xuan turned to his mother for help, knowing that his mother was not as tough as his father. The child's judgment was right, the mother who felt sorry for her son secretly stuffed the mobile phone to him, and Xuanxuan, who got the mobile phone, played from 6 o'clock that night to 8 o'clock the next morning, until the mother was going out to work, and then handed the mobile phone back.

Xuanxuan's father soon found out about this, and he was furious and had a fierce quarrel with his wife, blaming his wife for "spoiling the child". The father, who has always been machismo, said nothing at home most of the time, but this time, he directly kicked his wife out of the house and asked her to live in the dormitory.

Xuanxuan's mother lived in the dormitory for more than 10 days, during which Xuanxuan called her several times, and her tears fell. But she couldn't tell if her children were coming to her for her phone, because they missed her, or because they were looking for comfort and assistance in the confrontation with their strong father.

Xuanxuan's mother could no longer suppress her thoughts and worries about her son, and almost roared and asked her husband: "I'm not at home, has the child gotten better?"

Xuanxuan's father was silent for a long time before he had to admit: "No, it's still the same." ”

"That means your method doesn't work, I've tried it many times, why do you keep doing it? I don't care, I'm going home today. ”

When she got home, it was already night, Xuan Xuan looked up at her, but didn't ask more, as if her departure from home had never happened, and the faint warmth on the phone was gone. When her husband saw her, he didn't say anything, only muttered, "What are you going to do when you come back." ”

After that, no one in the house said anything.

That night, Xuanxuan's mother learned that in fact, before she went home, her husband had compromised with her son and lifted the restrictions on the use of the iPad. She didn't know how her husband figured it out, but the cold atmosphere between husband and wife made her not want to ask more.

However, Xuanxuan's father's overtures to his son did not improve the stiff situation at home. Xuan Xuan completely sealed himself off and did not come into contact with anyone. Except for eating and going to the bathroom, he would not leave his room for half a step, and the locked door and tightly drawn curtains completely isolated him from his parents.

Xuanxuan's mother was a little dazed, she didn't understand, she and her husband had obviously shown weakness, why the child's state was even worse? But she was more angry, resentful of her husband's domineering style that pushed the child further. But she no longer had the strength to quarrel with her husband at the moment, and there was only a cold war between the two.

I used to think that the most common problem with adolescent depression was the child's own emotional and physical reactions. However, after getting to know these depressed children in depth, I realized that a large proportion of them are already immersed in an atmosphere of hostility and indifference in their families.

Poor parent-child relationship is the "knot" of adolescent depression, and many children's illnesses are caused by this, and the parent-child bond that cannot be reconnected is also the main obstacle to the child's condition not getting better.

Children who are in a slightly better situation can have simple communication with their parents in daily life, but only superficially. When parents talk about learning or try to get to know their children's hearts, the communication will stop abruptly and cannot continue, and the more serious children, when responding to their parents' questions, will always jump out of the two words or two words, which makes parents walk on thin ice when speaking, because an inappropriate question or answer can make the child go back to the room and lock the door.

The parent-child relationship of the Xuan Xuan family belongs to the worst category, and his wariness and hostility towards his parents have overflowed, either treating them as air or often scolding them as enemies. Xuanxuan's mother said that once when Xuanxuan broke down and cried loudly, she tried to touch her son's head to comfort her, but she didn't expect Xuanxuan to flick her hand away with a wave of her arm. After that, the son refused to have any physical contact with her.

Hearing Xuanxuan's mother's confession, many parents in the group were half empathetic and half relieved: "It's exactly the same, it's impossible to hug the child or even simply pat the shoulder." The child is like a small, sharp hedgehog, always standing up full of defense. ”

Xuan Xuan's situation is not alone, the 14-year-old boy Hengheng now locks himself in his room all day. What's even worse than Xuanxuan is that Hengheng won't even go out of the room to eat. His mother needs to put each meal in an insulated lunch box, leave it at the door of his room, and quickly avoid it when she knocks on the door. She didn't know when her son would open the door and take the lunch box in, or when he would start eating, so she could only wait, a few hours, or even longer. When her son quietly put the lunch box back outside the door, she deduced her son's eating situation from the amount of leftovers. Hengheng has never seen his parents, and if his mother has something to tell him, he can only leave a message on WeChat, but he will never reply.

Once, when Hengheng's mother came home, she ran into her son going to the bathroom. Hengheng probably heard the sound of the door opening, ran out of the bathroom in a hurry, and quickly hid back in his room. Hengheng's mother saw her son's panicked back, distressed and sad intertwined, and couldn't help but pat the closed room door and shout her son's name: "Did you finish using the toilet just now? Run so fast, don't break your body." ”

Behind the door was a lasting silence. I don't know how long I waited, but my mother, who didn't wait for a reply, slowly returned to her room, and she didn't even realize that tears had flowed all over her face.

Hengheng's change occurred 8 months ago, when he suddenly proposed that he would not go to school, and no matter how his parents asked the reason, he would not say more. Parents called grandparents and his classmates, but no matter how everyone asked, Hengheng never opened his mouth again except for replying with the word "annoying".

Hengheng's mother went to the hospital to find a psychiatrist, and the doctor said that the child could only be diagnosed by bringing the child to the hospital. Hengheng's father, who was at a loss, waited until the eighth day, and when he saw that his son had not yet come out of the room, he finally broke down emotionally, forcibly slammed the locked door open, and snatched his son's mobile phone. Of course, Hengheng didn't follow, and scuffled with his father.

In the chaos, Hengheng's mother suddenly felt out of breath, and fainted to the ground in the next second. 120 arrived, and under the persuasion of everyone, Hengheng's attitude softened a little and accompanied his mother to the ambulance. After sending his mother to the emergency room for a needle, he immediately turned around and went home.

After Hengheng's mother was discharged from the hospital, she and her husband found all the people they could think of over and over again, and everyone crowded outside the door to gossip, persuading Hengheng to go back to school. Hengheng hid in the room and roared angrily, like a little beast, the grandfather outside the door heard it and scolded angrily: "I don't know how to be grateful, and I don't stop making my mother angry!"

Hearing this, Hengheng angrily pushed open the door and came out, and began to push his grandfather. Seeing this, Dad was so angry that he scuffled with him again. Under the dispute, Hengheng's mobile phone was touched to the ground by someone without knowing it, the screen was sparse, and the child's face turned white in an instant, as if his heart was also broken. In the chaos, he hurried back to his room, ready to take out the New Year's money and go out to buy a new mobile phone. Hengheng's father stopped his son, called his younger brothers, tied his son to a chair with a rope, and prepared to send Hengheng to the hospital together.

Hengheng kicked his legs and roared furiously, which frightened everyone. Hengheng took the opportunity to break free of the rope, ran back to his room, pushed the door with a stool, and knocked down everything in the room and smashed it. After that, he became a stranger to his parents and never said a word again.

This incident has become an abyss that Hengheng's family can't get through, and Hengheng's mother will cry bitterly every time she recalls this incident, blaming herself for not being able to understand and empathize with her son's helplessness, fear and fear at that time. But chagrin and remorse are of no avail, because the current Hengheng seems to be like a stone that has no ability to feel joy, anger and sorrow, hard and cold.

As if knowing the situation of Xuan Xuan and Hengheng, Xiao Si's mother felt that the anxiety in her heart had been slightly alleviated - at least her son could still have the most basic communication and exchange with her.

But Xiao Si's situation still worries her: the child's routine and emotions have been repeated, and every time the mood is bad, the child can't fall asleep, and he keeps playing with his mobile phone, and he doesn't fall asleep until his eyelids can't hold it. Many times, she got up at two or three o'clock in the middle of the night to go to the small thinking room, and saw her son leaning his head against the head of the bed, his glasses were not taken off, and his mobile phone was still in his hand. Her presence always wakes up Xiao Si, as if he was just taking a shallow nap.

Xiao Si's mother once forced her son to turn off the lights on time at 12 o'clock, and Xiao Si obediently put down her mobile phone glasses, but after lying on the bed with his eyes closed for 1 or 2 hours, he would get up and call his mother: "I still can't sleep." ”

After a month or two, Xiao Si's physical condition deteriorated rapidly, 14 years old, 1.75 meters tall, but weighing less than 100 pounds, his immunity is also declining, and if he is not careful, he will fall ill.

There are also many children who are also in a similar state to Xiao Si. They couldn't get out of the house for months, and no matter how much their parents tried to persuade them to climb the mountains, to bask in the sun, to take you to a good meal, to no avail. Sometimes the children don't say a word, they say they say no, and sometimes they say yes, but after a struggle, they lock themselves in the room again.

With sleep disturbances and sleep disorders, children usually sleep until the afternoon and start eating their first meal in the evening. At that time, most of the parents were still at work, and the children cooked instant noodles or ordered takeout. Under the communication of parents, it was found that most of the children who can choose their own meals choose extremely spicy foods, as if the stimulation of taste buds can bring them some false comfort. With a long period of lack of exercise and energy expenditure, most children only need to scribble through one meal and are not hungry, and if children can eat two meals a day, it is already a joy for parents.

Parents have come to terms with their children's routines. Xiao Si's mother clearly remembers that one day, her son did not eat the first meal of the day until 11 o'clock in the middle of the night. Ke'er often wakes up her mother at 1 or 2 o'clock in the morning to cook for her, and her mother sleeps in a daze, and when she hears the child crying that she is hungry, she can immediately become happy, no matter how sleepy she is, she can immediately turn over and get out of bed to cook.

Yingying, a 14-year-old girl, in her mother's description, is no different from other girls except for her highly sensitive personality and slightly paranoid and willful.

In her mother's recollections, her daughter began to appear in April this year. Before that, Yingying had a relationship that only lasted more than 10 days, and not long after the breakup, she began to self-harm. At that time, the child could barely go to school, but his mind could no longer concentrate on his studies, and he fell from the top three in the class to the near bottom.

Yingying's mother had hoped that time would dilute her daughter's pain, and in her opinion, that relationship, which could not be called love, should not be too lethal, but until May, her daughter's situation did not improve as she expected, but became more serious. She forcibly took her daughter to the hospital, where she was diagnosed with moderate depression and severe anxiety. By June, Ying Ying began to run to the rooftop several times, wanting to commit suicide.

Yingying's mother once blamed her daughter's good friend Ning Ning for her daughter's changes. Ning Ning is also a young girl suffering from severe depression, and has always had the "habit" of cutting her wrists, and her arms are scarred all year round. In the information that Yingying's mother learned, after her daughter broke up in April, the relationship with Ning Ning became closer, and then she began to self-harm.

In February this year, Ning Ning sent a photo of her bloody wound to Yingying. Yingying's mother inadvertently saw this, and worriedly grabbed her daughter and asked, "What's the matter?"

Ying Ying shook her head and replied nonchalantly, "It's nothing, I think it's cool." ”

Yingying's mother was worried and told her daughter: "You must not learn from her." ”

Ying Ying blinked, but did not respond.

At that time, Yingying had not yet started to fall in love, everything was not much different from a normal child, and her mother left this matter behind her after a short period of worry. Later, after Yingying self-harmed for the first time, her mother cried and told her to stay away from Ningning. The mother felt that Ning Ning had brought her daughter badly, and Ying Ying cried while defending her friend: "No, it's not what you think." Only she and I can truly understand each other. None of you understand me. ”

Putting aside her emotions, Yingying's mother also understands that in fact, there is no "who brings who is bad" between children, and her daughter and Ning Ning must be close because they have the same mood and feelings, and only at the same frequency will they attract each other. She didn't know whether to stop her daughter's relationship with Ning Ning, but in fact, she was powerless to stop it at all.

"The two girls often meet together to cut their wrists, and their hands are full of scars, and they also say that it is called 'broken beauty'. Yingying's mother said this sentence lightly, and I, as a listener, really couldn't imagine how many times this mother had experienced the torture of turning over the river and the sea in her heart.

In October this year, Yingying fell in love again, shorter than the last time, and broke up in less than 10 days. This breakup was also brought up by the boy: "You are too clingy and too controlling, I can't stand it." ”

Ying Ying cried, she talked to her mother about her relationship for the first time.

Mom kept her tone as gentle as possible and asked, "What attracted you to that boy, is he handsome?"

Ying Ying shook her head: "Not handsome, I don't know why I like him." After thinking about it, she shook her head again: "Actually, I don't like him very much, I just play casually." ”

Mom was a little hard to accept: "Since you don't like him very much, then why should you hurt yourself?"

Yingying's emotions became excited: "Blame you, you never love me, you only care about me." Growing up, I never felt your love, and I could only feel someone who loved me and cared about me in my boyfriend. That's why I want to hold on to him, let him talk to me, and be with him all the time. ”

Yingying's mother also cried: "Daughter, how can we not love you?"

She began to reflect on why her daughter, who was held on the tip of her heart, felt that her parents didn't love her?

Maybe it's because I and my husband are too introverted and can't express themselves verbally, and the atmosphere at home is always quiet and dull? Maybe it's because I manage my daughter too strictly, there are too many rules and restrictions, and most of the time what my daughter wants to do and what she wants to buy, she will be rejected by herself?

Or maybe the husband is too old-fashioned, although he meets his daughter every day, he doesn't communicate like a stranger, and the only thing he can say is to blame, criticizing his daughter for being "willful, ignorant, and tossing some inexplicable things all day long"?

She counted her frustrations little by little: Yingying loved to cry when she was a child, and every time she cried, she impatiently yelled at her daughter: "Don't cry, don't cry"; when her daughter confided in her classmates when she had a conflict, she always reprimanded her daughter: "What is this, can you be generous? Can you stop making trouble?" Every time Yingying pulls her and wants her to accompany her to do her homework or play, she always looks for an opportunity to get out: "Do your own things, I'm busy." ”

Digging deeper, Yingying's mother also dug out her childhood: "Since I was a child, I have been asked by adults to save and be sensible, so I have developed the habit of saving everything." Over time, I always seem to feel that I don't deserve the best, whether it's people or things, how can I have those good things? Now that I think about it, this mentality of mine has probably been passed on to Yingying unconsciously. ”

The fall of love made Yingying's mood fluctuate violently during the summer vacation, and she began to be unable to sleep all night, and at the best of times, she could only sleep for 4 or 5 hours a night. One morning, after her mother dropped her off at school, she met her classmate's mother on the way. The other party asked with concern, did Ying Ying harm herself again? My daughter saw the scar on Ying Ying's wrist at school yesterday.

Yingying's mother's heart hurt sharply like a knife - she remembered that after her daughter came home last night, she fell asleep on the bed without even taking off her clothes, and before going out in the morning, she proposed that her daughter change into clean clothes before going out, but she was categorically refused. Yingying was reluctant to change her clothes, probably because she was afraid that she would see her scars.

After returning home, Yingying's mother secretly opened her daughter's Kuaishou account - since her daughter closed her heart to her, she was worried that she could only quietly visit her daughter's recent situation and thoughts as a strange tourist - in the latest news, Yingying posted a chat record between herself and her classmates, Yingying's mother saw her daughter humbly sending a message to the boy to ask for reunion, and also saw the record of her daughter's re-purchase of utility knives.

She was in no mood to read it any further, she just felt panicked. She didn't know how she spent the whole day, until Yingying came home from self-study at night, she carefully observed for a long time, and judged that her daughter should be in a good mood at this time, so she cautiously proposed: "I remember you said a few days ago that your toenails are uncomfortable, and your mother will cut them for you." ”

Seeing that her daughter agreed with silence, she quickly called a basin of water: "Wash your feet first, and your mother will wash you." ”

Ying Ying hesitated for a moment, shook her head and refused.

Yingying's mother felt that her tears were about to get out of control: "You have been to school for a day, it has been hard, let your mother serve you." ”

This time, Ying Ying didn't object anymore and put her foot into the footbasin. The trouser legs were soaked, and the mother saw this and wanted to roll up the trouser legs for her daughter. Ying Ying then spoke: "Don't look, there are injuries." ”

On the exposed calves, there are more than a dozen red scars, which look particularly scarlet and dazzling against the background of snow-white skin. Mother's voice was inaudible: "Why did you hurt yourself again, Yingying, Mom feels so sorry for you." ”

The daughter didn't respond for a long time, the mother lowered her head and tried to blink, squeezing away the tears covering her eyes, and raised her head, but saw that her daughter had been holding her mobile phone and chatting with her classmates, and she didn't look at her. There was silence between the mother and daughter, and after washing the feet, the mother quietly dried her daughter, cut her nails, and left the room with the basin of water. Ying Ying never spoke to her, nor did she look up at her more.

Yingying's mother looked around blankly, trying to find someone who could share the burden with her, but she didn't. She tried to communicate with her husband: "I read the book that a girl's early love is a lack of father's love, and you have to care more about her." ”

The husband's face sank: "Why don't I care, if I want to buy everything to satisfy her, how can I care?" Then, as soon as the conversation changed, the husband began to accuse: "It's all what you're used to, and you rely on her for everything." You also gave her your mobile phone, and the more you chatted with your classmates, the more you couldn't sleep, the mobile phone was free, can you go to bed early?"

Yingying's mother stopped talking, and after her daughter's behavior was out of the normal category, the couple had more and more disputes because of their very different educational concepts, and their relationship was inevitably affected. The low pressure between the two and the anxiety of their daughter are cause and effect of each other.

To give the child a mobile phone, it was the psychiatrist who advised Yingying's mother in July: "The children are all junior high school, and it is useless for you to try to control the mobile phone." You have to give her the phone, and she will manage it herself, which can also help her build a sense of control over her life. ”

But Yingying's father disdained the doctor's theory, and began to question the doctor's professionalism, and even disagreed with the medicine prescribed by the doctor for Yingying. This distrust was passed on to his wife, who felt that the so-called "experts" did not really understand the individual differences of the children, and did not understand why his wife would rather trust the doctor than him. He feels that his wife's attitude towards her daughter is indulgent and flattering: "If you rely on her for everything, then my strict management father will be annoying, which is why Yingying hates me now, all caused by you." ”

After a lot of arguments, Yingying's father stood by and watched angrily, and most of the time, he just watched his wife struggling coldly.

Yingying's homeroom teacher is a teacher who is more than half a hundred years old, relatively conservative, and the child's behavior has caused a lot of trouble to his teaching management, and he can only return the pressure that cannot be resolved to Yingying's mother again.

On a Sunday in late October, Ying Ying posted a message on Moments: "Please come to the school gate to see me kiss." It was probably a joke on a whim of the girl, but the situation quickly got out of control, and her classmates took screenshots of her circle of friends, forwarded them, and soon passed them to the school's political and educational office. The angry head teacher called Yingying's mother, and the wording was not too polite, and asked sternly:

"Why can't your daughter do this all day, even on the only Sunday?"

"Your child is seriously rebellious, has a wrong outlook, and will bring bad to other children in the class and the school atmosphere, but you are a parent and let it go, is it a dereliction of duty?"

The phone call ended with the old head teacher's half-truthful threat: "Don't tell me that the child is depressed, I don't believe it, how can she have a little shadow of depression when she looks so bold and reckless? The last time I hurt myself, the school was going to advise her to quit school, but it was you who begged hard to promise that she would not commit it next time, so that we could give her another chance. But now I'm so disappointed in her, if that's the case again, you can arrange the transfer!"

Although the teacher's words are cruel, they are also the problem that has always plagued Yingying's mother: no matter how tolerant parents are to their children, the rules of this society and the world will not accept children unconditionally. When she couldn't change the rules and system, Yingying's mother felt that the only thing she could do was to accompany her children to bear the results.

But this time, my mother's emotions were swept up by the angry phone call from the head teacher. Originally, this week, their mother-daughter relationship had just begun to ease, and her daughter seemed to be returning to normal emotions little by little, which made her feel relieved for a while. And at this moment, doubt and despair surged into her heart again: "Fake, it turns out to be fake, everything is a fake pretended by a child." ”

Her hands and feet were a little weak, and her heart was like mud that couldn't be dissolved. After hesitation, she still dialed Yingying's phone. The moment the phone was connected, her reason returned to her exhausted mind slightly, she sorted out her emotions, asked Yingying about the ins and outs of her circle of friends in an understatement tone, and even tried to squeeze out a smile that her daughter couldn't actually see on the other end of the phone.

But the sensitive Yingying still felt her mother's emotions, she hung up the phone and quickly moved to Ning Ning's house, and then stopped contacting her parents except for asking for money.

The parent-child relationship, which has just begun to improve, is once again at an impasse.

Yingying's mother in front of her is actually only in her forties, but her white hair and haggard face make many people misunderstand that she is close to her age at first. There was not much blood on her face, and a smile never seemed to appear on her face.

Yingying's mother feels that she has nothing to do, in the past six months, the hospital's treatment and drugs have not had enough effect, and every time the doctor evaluates that she can try to reduce the amount of medicine, her daughter's condition will become more serious, such a coincidence makes her sometimes wonder if it is really like the teacher said, "Your daughter is pretending".

But she quickly denied it, and she chose to believe her daughter. In the midst of a long period of collapse and introspection, she felt guilty about her inappropriate parenting style. Little by little, the past poked its head out of the depths of her mind, and stared straight at her with bared teeth. She felt a little hairy in her heart, she understood that she had not forgotten these things, and it was impossible for her daughter to forget. She tried to bring herself into the aggrieved and helpless little girl, and the remorse pierced her heart a little bit.

"The child's father and teacher said that I was dependent on her for everything, and that I was used to being a child, but in fact it was not, I was just trying to make up for it in this way. ”

In the case of searching for external forces, acceptance and companionship seem to be the only thing that Yingying's mother can do now.

The causes of adolescent depression are complex, and treatment is correspondingly difficult. It is not like a simple physical disease, as long as there is a corresponding standardized treatment plan and drugs, it can be cured. After experiencing the lack of help from hospitals and psychological counselors, many parents can only choose to "retreat" in disappointment and helplessness, trying to use the most primitive methods to melt the ice and repair the parent-child relationship.

But this "repair" road has very little room for error. Parents are often confused and confused, afraid that their behavior will cause their children's state to deteriorate, and they ask over and over again: Where is the boundary between freedom and rules? What is the difference between tolerance and indulgence? Am I right to do this? This kind of pressure comes from the hearts of parents, but also from the accusations between family members, and the anxiety of the parents is no less than that of the depressed children at home.

The most common problem for parents is ambivalent attitudes towards mobile phones.

Depressed children are different from ordinary children in that they are extremely dependent on their mobile phones and spend most of their time and energy on them. When parents try to control their mobile phones, they often receive very strong and negative feedback from their children, and those struggles that arise from mobile phones can be as few months or as many as years, and most parents will lose the possibility of face-to-face peaceful negotiation with their children in this matter - timely awareness and adjustment of their negative emotions and correction of their own behavior are not easy for adults whose thinking and behavior are almost solid, and who are trapped in great anxiety and pressure.

At the end of the day, parents generally have only two extreme choices - full satisfaction, or strong control.

Liberalization or control, every argument has its own tenable position and reason. But even experts or doctors, no one can pat their chests and say, "This is right", they have a clear and different attitude towards this, each with its own reason, but all have hidden dangers.

Most of the "liberalists" agree with letting children have "mobile phone freedom", advocating that "management is better than sparse", and they feel that children's addiction to mobile phones is "effect rather than cause", and that children will turn to mobile phones to find a sense of existence because of the lack of a sense of achievement, belonging and values. They believe that as long as parents give enough tolerance and trust support, they can pull their children out of addiction to mobile phones.

One mother said that at the moment when her son's relationship with her was at its most tense, her husband advocated for the deregulation of mobile phones. She feels that when the child is no longer able to resolve those pressures on his own, at least the mobile phone can give him an outlet for his emotions. Moreover, the husband's compromise behavior brought the endangered parent-child relationship back within the safety boundary.

After most of the "liberalists" relax the control of children's mobile phones, the family atmosphere will heat up rapidly. Children's hostility towards parents is reduced, and from time to time they can talk and laugh with their parents, and parents will be willing to give up the supervision of mobile phones, "I want to open a little, as long as the children can have a good relationship with us, play with mobile phones."

After Xiaojing's mother gave her son this freedom, she unexpectedly found that the situation was not as bad as she imagined.

Xiaojing, who refused to go to school after being diagnosed with mild depression, offered to return to school soon after getting her phone back.

According to the teacher's feedback, although Xiaojing still occasionally deserts and talks in class, he can basically complete his school homework on time every day, and the results of the midterm exam after that also gave his mother a big surprise, so the mother completely relaxed the control of her child's mobile phone.

However, there are also many expedient measures in desperation.

Twelve-year-old Meimei refused to go to school the day after her mother forcibly took away her phone. Before she couldn't get her hands on her phone, she often put on a rebellious posture of "if you don't let me play with my phone, I won't do anything". As soon as my mother said a few more words, she glared at her mother and yelled: "Hate, I hate you!" After a while, she added coldly: "Give me my phone, or I'll die to show you." ”

This is not a simple threat, once before, Meimei took back the right to use the phone from her mother at the cost of self-harm. Meimei's mother was once again frightened by her daughter's death threats. In the stalemate and hostile state after the daughter's depression, the strong and weak relationship in the family has shifted, and the parents have become the weaker party. In order to save the already precarious parent-child relationship, Meimei's mother let it go, "she can't manage it, she won't listen".

Xiaojing's mother is unwilling to ruin the mother-son relationship that has finally recovered, but she can't avoid the imminent pressure - after letting go of the phone, although her son is not particularly addicted, he spends a lot of time on the phone every day. The child's willpower is not enough to resist the temptation of the game, he will play games while eating, will play with his mobile phone while doing homework, and say "sleep after playing this game" repeatedly or four times before going to bed, but he can't press the end button for a long time. There is only half a year left before next year's high school entrance examination, and if Xiaojing's current results are followed, there is a high probability that he will not be able to get into high school, and playing with his mobile phone uncontrollably will inevitably affect his grades.

Xiaojing's mother believes that for a student, the inferiority complex and pressure caused by poor learning will definitely further hit the child's self-confidence, weaken his already thin inner strength, and then further aggravate depression. In the preparation for the third inch of junior high school, how to balance mobile phone and studying?

Meimei's mother is completely anxious - every time she sees her daughter forgetting to sleep and eating and playing with her mobile phone, she will be irritable and blamed in the bottom of her heart, first thinking that it was her daughter's fault, and then blaming herself for not being firm enough, blaming herself for not giving her a mobile phone. But she didn't dare to take back her mobile phone rashly, for fear of worsening the already fragile parent-child relationship. Under the pulling emotion, she felt that she could no longer face her daughter with a peaceful mind.

The "control faction" is generally a parent who is more strict in the management of his children. There are also many doctors who will advise parents to strengthen the control of mobile phones: "With mobile phones in hand, children cannot even guarantee basic sleep time and rest." Under the high-intensity continuous stay up late and extreme lack of sleep, physical health will be affected, not to mention mental health, let alone healing and rehabilitation? Only by forcibly taking back children's mobile phones can they have the dawn of recovery. ”

This kind of view of doctors is recognized by many parents, and Yuhan's mother is one of them. She feels that her 15-year-old daughter started to get out of control after she gave her "mobile phone freedom", and she has been very upset about this.

She said that Yuhan was originally able to go to school normally after being depressed, but after she let go of the control of her mobile phone, her daughter played with her mobile phone all night every day, and then asked for various leave not to go to school. Yuhan's body also began to deteriorate, with frequent headaches, heart discomfort, and deep breathing every once in a while, always panting rapidly.

I went to the hospital for examination, and I was deficient in calcium and had abnormal liver indicators. The doctor further inquired about the child's schedule in detail, and after learning that Yuhan had not gone out for several months and would not sleep for 24 hours in a row, he was a little angry: "Calcium deficiency is caused by not seeing the sun for a long time, and abnormal liver indicators have a lot to do with staying up late." How can a child with a long body have such a chaotic work and rest all night like this?"

The doctor didn't say anything more, but Yuhan's mother still sensitively felt the blame for her. "It's a dereliction of mine as a guardian," she rubbed her eyes, trying to hold back the tears that were about to roll out, "but, who would let her do this if it wasn't a last resort?"

Most schools will also make a request to parents, emphasizing that children must not be given mobile phones from Monday to Friday. This requirement comes from a large sample of students' academic feedback, supported by data - students' grades and mobile phone use have an extremely strong positive correlation. But for depressed children, teachers will still relax their requirements. While some teachers will blame parents for being "too used to their children", many more will simply emphasize: "This is just advice, although I hope you can do it." ”

After the pressure is passed on to parents, how to control the mobile phone still depends on the parents' own judgment. This kind of responsibility is a kind of pressure to a certain extent, and Yuhan's mother sometimes thinks fiercely, "It's better for the teacher to make a death order, and you are absolutely not allowed to play with your mobile phone", so that she doesn't have to bear the pain of making a choice.

In addition to the pressure transmitted from the outside world, many parents themselves are also "control factions" with a firm attitude. They will give themselves an example: "When we are okay on the weekend, do we often play with our mobile phones for 3 or 4 hours without noticing? An adult with self-control is still difficult to control his addiction to mobile phones, how can he expect a minor without the concept of self-discipline to control his mobile phone use independently?"

Mingming's mother took her relaxation of control over mobile phones as a lesson. Mingming had good grades when she was a child, she was well-behaved and sensible, and she didn't need to worry about everything. In the second semester of Mingming's sixth grade, the couple was extremely busy with work, so they sent their children to their grandfather's house. The grandfather of the next generation did not discuss with them, and agreed to his grandson's request to buy a mobile phone, and successively charged the child's designated games with a lot of game currency, which was converted into RMB, worth nearly 10,000 yuan.

The child is smart enough to cope with the modest primary school studies, and there has been no abnormality in his grades. Mingming's parents had a hard time seeing their children once a month or two, and for more than a year, they didn't even know that their son had a mobile phone, let alone their son's obsession with games. 

It wasn't until the first semester of the first year of junior high school that Mingming's parents discovered their child's secret. Shocked, they confiscated the child's phone and iPad, and logged out of his game account. At the beginning, Ming Ming was "calmed" by his parents and was a lot more well-behaved, but in the first semester, he began to resist violently, refusing to study, not doing homework, even if he was forced by his parents to go to school, he also openly slept and ate snacks in class, and he also grew his hair long and dyed a hair color that was absolutely not allowed by the school. These rebellions have only one purpose - to get their mobile phones and game accounts back.

Mingming's mother has always been annoyed by her dereliction of duty and firmly believes that she is the most responsible. Guilty, she quit her job and stayed at home with her son – also supervising them.

Some parents once thought, "Let the child play with the mobile phone, play enough, and after the freshness, he can learn to control". But many parents who think this way have disappointed their expectations in the end. They gave their children the freedom to use their mobile phones, set a "observation period" of one or two months, and finally found that their children's obsession with mobile phones would not be weakened in the slightest, so they reversed course and completely strengthened the management of mobile phones.

Strict management is easy to say, but in practice, it is like demining, and a careless will blow up the parent-child relationship.

13-year-old Ze Ze played on his mobile phone until 3 o'clock in the morning one night, couldn't get out of bed the next morning, and refused to get out of the quilt no matter how his mother shouted. Seeing that she was going to be late for school, her mother couldn't help complaining: "Don't let you play with your mobile phone until so late yesterday......" Ze Ze in the quilt suddenly broke out: "Blame the phone, blame the phone for everything!"

What else can you do but put the blame on your phone?

Then he put his head under the quilt:

"I'm going to play on my phone tonight, all night, and none of you want to sleep!

”

Zeze's mother stood in place for a long time that morning, not understanding which sentence she didn't say correctly, which triggered the child's anger. After that, she changed from a strict management faction to a liberal faction.

Parents know that there is no one method or formula that works for all children. The situation of the child is different, the family is different, the stage of the disease is different, and the way of management is different. But such a truth is "correct nonsense". Every parent can say such things, but the parent-child boundary that is as thin as a cicada's wings will swing across if you are not careful, and it really takes great wisdom to control.

In addition to the problem of mobile phones, most parents of depressed families have another problem: their children's strong desire to shop.

Xiao Ye's mother can't remember when her son started shopping spree. When her son was first diagnosed with depression, she had so many problems and troubles to deal with that she couldn't pay attention to this aspect at all. When she reacted, the family received more than a dozen or twenty packages almost every day, ranging from electronic products to all kinds of small things, all of which were purchased by Xiao Ye online. The latest mobile phones, tablets, iwatches...... All kinds of expensive electronic products, after Xiao Ye's freshness for a few days passed, he "didn't like it", and then hung it on Xianyu and sold it.

The same is true for Yingying. Before she fell ill, she agreed with her parents that she would have 100 yuan of pocket money every month, but soon after she was diagnosed with depression, the rate at which she used money increased rapidly, and she lost control in spending money. When she went out shopping with her classmates, she kept buying drinks, clothes, and grabbing dolls...... When I ran out of money, I asked my parents for it. The amount of pocket money increased to 200,400, and finally reached more than 1,000 yuan, but it still couldn't meet her expenses. In the end, she asked her parents to open a WeChat "family card" for her, and there was no upper limit on how much money she could spend.

Yingying's mother said that the most exaggerated time, when her daughter came back from shopping, she bought more than 500 yuan of bread in one go, and the whole 2 big bags were red. Yingying explained to her that at 9 o'clock in the evening, the bakery cheaply disposed of the bread that was about to be overnight, and she thought it was a good deal, so she made it all in one go.

The bread became moldy and spoiled after a few days, and when she saw the mold spots on the bread, Yingying threw them all out with a blank face. Her family is not wealthy, and her mother wears a few simple old clothes all the year round, but considering her daughter's emotions, her mother does not dare to raise any objections when she is old.

Wenwen, another depressed girl, is mainly spending on chasing stars.

After her parents gave up the control over her spending, she bound her father's bank card on WeChat, and her father also canceled the original upper limit of the payment amount. So, every hour or two, a payment message will pop up on Dad's mobile phone - most of the cost is for a few "top-rated" male stars, Wenwen buys their albums, pictures, and peripherals, and makes charts for them. The most laughable time, in order to support the endorsement of the idol, Wenwen bought 30 boxes of drinks at home in one go, and the last family drank until they almost vomited and couldn't finish drinking, so they could only beg everywhere to give them to relatives and friends.

Kang Kang likes to buy figurines, and each one will buy back a lot of similar models of the same style and different colors, and his mother privately called it "too expensive". Moms have tried to refuse their children's purchases, but each time the parent-child relationship has reached an impasse for a long time. Kangkang would always be worried about what he didn't buy home, and he would quarrel with his mother frequently, and in the end, his mother gave up discipline.

Kangkang's main expenses are still in the game: recharging, buying skins, and drawing cards...... When he was in a good mood, his mother would try to discuss it with him, and he would reply with a brief response: "I'm miserable, this is the only way to make me happy, you don't care." After thinking about it, he added, "Be prepared, I may not be able to go to school again next week." ”

Wenwen's mother later followed the doctor's advice and accompanied her daughter to a concert where her idol was out of town. That time, Wenwen's mother spent nearly 10,000 yuan on food, drink, housing and transportation plus various expenses for the concert, but she felt that it was worth it, thinking that after the mother and daughter walked together, the parent-child relationship had been greatly improved.

But not all parents can afford to do so. Xiao Ye's mother is privately calculating that her son's monthly expenses have obviously exceeded her ability to bear. The electronic products that I just bought home were sold by Xiao Ye at a price of about 3% off less than a week after they were opened, and the difference in price made her heartache.

Xiao Ye's most expensive request at present is to ask his mother to buy him a piano. When her mother said that the piano was beyond the family's commitment, Xiao Ye proposed nonchalantly: "Then sell the guitar." And "that guitar" was bought back at his request for nearly 6,000 yuan just last month.

In addition, there are endless packages delivered to the house, most of which are snacks, sugar, biscuits and instant noodles that cannot be digested in a short period of time, and the house is full of piles, and it can't even be sold at a discount, Xiao Ye's mother can only digest it a little by herself, and if she can't handle it, she can only wait until it expires and throw it away.

Psychologists often say that this is a sign of a lack of love and security in children, and when the "inner strength" is insufficient, shopping is soothing and an emotional outlet. Parents can accept this statement, but it is easier said than done, they switch back and forth between chagrin, guilt and distress, sometimes feeling that "spend money, just spend it, as long as he is happy", sometimes feel sorry for the money that has been wasted, sometimes angry with the child's "ignorance", and sometimes troubled whether to support or stop.

However, compared to "whether it is time to urge children to return to school", the trouble of mobile phones and pocket money is dwarfed.

This is a problem that this group of parents rarely communicates and asks for help from the outside world, because once this kind of trouble is spoken, it often leads to scolding: "The children's lives are dying, but you still only want to let them go to school?!" In the overwhelming accusations, this group of parents dare not seek social understanding, and most of them can only retreat to the common group to seek help and support.

Regarding the troubles of returning to school, it is concrete and realistic.

Like 13-year-old Yeon-yeon, 14-year-old Pippi and Yi Ning, all of whom are still in the sixth grade of primary school. They began to take occasional leave from the fifth grade of primary school, then only to go to school one or two days a week, and then to take a break from school and stay at home, and the course of the disease progressed rapidly. Elementary school is a node for children, childhood friends enter junior high school, announcing the end of childhood, but they stay in primary school, such a sense of disparity often stimulates the children's illness even more.

Pipsqueak would return to the classroom in the first half of this year when his condition improved, but his height of almost 1.8 meters stood out in a large group of elementary school students, most of whom were only 1.5 meters. He was placed in the last corner of the classroom, but he still couldn't escape the more or less malicious ridicule of his classmates. This made Pipsqueak even more anxious, as he would pick up his hair when his parents didn't notice, and by the time his mother found out, some parts of his scalp were bald.

Pippi's mother feels sorry for her son and wants him to continue to suspend school, but Pippi's father is against it - after repeated suspension, his son's situation will not improve, and if Pippi still sits in the primary school classroom in a few years, it will be a greater challenge for parents and children, as well as for schools and teachers.

"What then?" asked Pippi's mother.

Pippi's father pondered for a long time, but couldn't think of a way.

Parents of junior high school and senior high school graduates, the pressure is even more imminent. In the face of this kind of turning point that can determine the path of a child's life, no matter how calm a parent is, he can't really ignore it.

Miao Miao, 17, refused to register for the college entrance examination. Under the stalemate, her father went to the school by himself and registered her.

Miao Miao's grades have always been excellent, and she is in the top 20 in her grade in the first and second years of high school, and she is the "baby" that many teachers place great hopes on. In the second semester of the second semester of high school, the class teacher and the teachers of each subject found her in turn to talk to her, and told her that she was the only one in the class who could go through the "comprehensive evaluation" (

Comprehensive evaluation enrollment is another enrollment method in colleges and universities in addition to the unified examination)". With the encouragement of her teachers and parents, Miao Miao decided to "rush" and make up classes intensively during the summer vacation of her third year of high school. Miao Miao's mood was okay at first, but soon there was an abnormality.

One day in late July, after dinner, Miao Miao was still fine, she chatted with her mother for a while, and then said that she would go back to her room to memorize the text, "The teacher said that she would check it the next day." After memorizing it until more than 10 o'clock in the evening, Miao Miao didn't recite the text, and suddenly collapsed. She screamed twice in the room, pulled all the study materials to the ground, locked the door, and refused to open the door no matter how much her parents knocked on the door.

The worried Miao Miao's parents waited until the next morning, but they couldn't wait for their daughter's emotions to calm down. From then on, Miao Miao began to lock the door all day and all day, not leaving the room, not eating or drinking, refusing to talk to anyone, and not sleeping all night.

Miao Miao's parents later reviewed it with annoyance, feeling that their daughter's outburst in July was probably not accidental, and the child had probably felt unwell for a long time before, but as parents, they didn't realize it. They began to introspect, but Miao Miao's mother always felt that she was open-minded as a mother and did not put too much pressure on her daughter in her studies. She thinks that what may be considered pressure is that they often can't help but discuss with their daughters about their studies and future, about comprehensive evaluations, about which university they want to go to in the future......

But for Miao Miao, a child with "high self-esteem", the outside world's expectations of herself are already the heaviest burden, and she is afraid of disappointing everyone, so she can only put the pressure that cannot be resolved on her immature shoulders, in order not to live up to everyone's expectations, she doesn't even know when she started to lose the ability to relax.

After the start of school in September, Miao Miao went to school intermittently for four or five days, and her condition recurred reluctantly. In late September, the hospital diagnosed Miao Miao with severe depression and anxiety, and she has not set foot on campus since.

Miao Miao refused to see a doctor again and refused to participate in psychological counseling. In October, as soon as her father offered to take her for a follow-up, her emotions became extremely excited, and her father could not do anything but give up. After the couple faced each other in tears for a while, they began to speculate about the reason behind their daughter's depression.

"Maybe you don't want to face the fact that you're sick?" said Dad.

"Is it possible that she doesn't want to face her life anymore?" Mom replied.

Miao Miao's mother only dares to stay with her daughter quietly now, often opening her mouth to say something, but in the end she doesn't dare to make a sound, so she can only swallow it back. She was afraid that she would accidentally touch Miao Miao's flashpoint, and every night when she took the medicine to Miao Miao, her heart would ache and throb. Sometimes after feeding her daughter medicine, she can't hold back her tears, so she can only quickly run out of her daughter's room and find a place where no one is to cry.

Because their daughter refused psychotherapy, Miao Miao's parents insisted on going to counseling every week on their own. On the advice of doctors, the topic of "college entrance examination" disappeared at home. But with the start of the college entrance examination registration, after the teacher communicated with Miao Miao's parents, the father still insisted on registering his daughter. In Dad's opinion, only if the college entrance examination is registered, the child can be qualified for the college entrance examination. The mother also hopes that her daughter can use the next half a year to adjust her condition, after all, for Miao Miao, who has always had excellent grades, it is a pity to miss the college entrance examination.

But unlike her husband's firmness, Miao Miao's mother also has a swaying side in her heart - once she completes the college entrance examination registration, there is the corresponding data of the student in the college entrance examination database, if Miao Miao can't go to the examination room at that time, she will also be regarded as having taken the college entrance examination, and has since lost her identity as a fresh graduate.

It's a huge gamble, and onlookers can't comment too much, and perhaps only parents who are also graduates have more resonance.

Contrary to Miao Miao's parents, Ruoruo's mother's focus has always been on whether she should officially go through the procedures for her daughter to take a leave of absence. Ruoruo, who was supposed to take the college entrance examination in June next year, has been on leave at home since September this year, and her mother has not officially suspended her child from school, but dealt with it in the form of a long leave. Now, three months later, Ruoruo has never been able to return to school – not only has she not been able to attend classes, but she has also missed many crucial exams. According to this situation, the spring examination that is about to be faced, one model and two models (

exams), physical examinations, physical tests, etc., there is a high probability that you will not be able to participate.

If the mother knows that only after taking a leave of absence can her daughter completely relax, otherwise there is a high probability that she will fall into a vicious circle, like a soldier who has not been able to get enough rest and treatment, but is rushed to the battlefield.

But she never dared to suspend her daughter at this stage - "suspension" is a symbol of complete abandonment, which means that her daughter will not be able to return to school at all for at least a year after that, and she will definitely not be able to take the college entrance examination in June next year.

"If it is a long vacation, I always feel that there is a hope, if the child is in a better state, you can jump out of the state of taking a long vacation at any time, but once you take a leave of absence, you will be powerless. ” 

Many parents who are reluctant to suspend their children from school have the same considerations as Ruoruo's mother. After missing the opportunity of the current college entrance examination, many practical problems will become more difficult: some parents will worry about the changes in the next examination syllabus and policy adjustments, while others will worry that they will not know where to go to find the right learning institution for their children. Parents know that in such a situation, if they miss this college entrance examination, the chances of their children being admitted to university will be even more slim.

Like Ruoruo's mother, many parents still have expectations - if their children's situation improves and they want to take the college entrance examination again, as long as they do not suspend school, then everything is still possible.

The latest time to apply for suspension is February next year, and there is not much time left for parents to consider.

Parents who are worried about whether their children can return to school are actually worried about the longer term. Although the current "acceptance" can improve the parent-child relationship, it will not push the child back on track. Where is the edge of "acceptance", the question is as much a dilemma for many parents as is whether to urge their children to return to school.

Chang Ning has been at home for a long time, and her mood is much better than at the beginning, but she still can't step out of the house. Her mother said: "I'm afraid that my child will become more and more content with the status quo in this comfortable and stress-free environment, and in this way, he will not be able to face the pressure of school." ”

Changning's teacher also said: "Indeed, the home is too comfortable, as if living a good life of retirement and retirement in the comfort zone, who still goes out to work hard? There have been such examples in previous years, that child has been suspended from school since the second year of high school, and then plays with his mobile phone at home every day, playing and playing, and is even more reluctant to go back to school." ”

Changning's mother became nervous and asked the teacher what happened to the child, and the teacher squinted his eyes and thought for a while and replied: "I don't know, I didn't come back to take the college entrance examination anyway, and I don't know what happened after that, and I don't know if I can return to normal society." ”

These words hit Changning's mother's worries: "I didn't really help my child solve the problem, but just passively accepted the fact that she didn't go to school." The longer she is away from school, the more she will be unable to keep up with the pace of teaching, and once she loses confidence in learning, she will be unable to return to school, and under the vicious circle, it will be more and more difficult for children to return to the normal track. Children's social attributes are disappearing, their learning ability is degrading, which will eventually lead to the decline of vitality, and finally they will be completely separated from the mainstream society. These are not simple words of 'don't force children' to cover up. ”

In Changning's mother's view, the blame from the outside world is particularly one-sided because of staying out of the matter: "Now it seems that as soon as we become parents, we have become the target of verbal criticism from the whole society, and we are considered to be the culprits of various problems." Those criticisms that stand on the moral high ground can of course be said casually by outsiders. However, even if parents are wrong, their consideration for their children will be more long-term, more comprehensive, and more profound than that of outsiders. ”

Changning's mother's long-term concerns are not unreasonable. Among the young depressed group, there are also many young people in their early 20s, who retreat to their homes for different reasons, but without exception, they are currently outside the mainstream society, they resist going out, they resist any phone calls and voices, and even the most basic social skills have been almost lost.

The 22-year-old Yuanyuan is a senior this year and has been diagnosed with depression for 4 months. He has been quiet since his diagnosis, except for looking at his phone and watching anime in front of his computer. After the first 3 months of treatment, his condition improved for a while, he was able to eat and sleep normally, he was in a good mood every day, and his eyebrows were dancing endlessly when he chatted with his mother.

This made his mother feel relieved and secretly happy in her heart, "My child has recovered" and "should return to his own runway to move on", but just as she was trying to promote her son's return to normal life, in October, the college counselor sent a message reminding Yuanyuan of the relevant matters of graduation thesis and autumn recruitment, which immediately made Yuanyuan fall into a collapse again.

Yuanyuan began to lose his temper with his mother: "I don't want to live anymore." But other than that, he couldn't communicate with his mother anymore. Mom could feel his frustration and helplessness, but still couldn't tell what had touched him and made him "disappointed in the whole world." She only knew that more than 4 months of "healing" did not really improve her son's symptoms.

How to get her son to step out of the house and face the series of pressures of graduation, finding a job, and entering the society, Yuanyuan's mother is helpless, and she has begun to look forward to it day by day, "encountering an accident that will take me and my child out of this world together."

There are many examples like Yuanyuan, and they add a lot of deeper worries to parents of depressed children at a young age. They had hoped that as their children grew older and their minds and mental strengths were more developed, they would be more empowered to fight depression. However, it has been proved that without effective guidance, children's action and vitality will be more unable to be stimulated, and the gap between them and society will widen. After learning about the example of Yuanyuan and others, Changning's mother became more and more determined: "It is still necessary to promote the return of children to school, school is the main battlefield for children, and if you don't go back to school, you will not be able to return to society in the future." ”

It's just that she was still high-spirited like a soldier ready to fight one second, and the next second she will be confused: "But, in such a state of the child, will there be a big problem if you urge him to go to school again?"

Unlike many parents who are entangled and confused, Peng Peng's mother has always been an optimist, she has gorgeous makeup, sharp eyes, and likes to tie a high ponytail, which makes her look full of fighting spirit. For her son's return to school, she has her own plans and timetables, and there are few hesitations and repetitions.

When 12-year-old Peng Peng was diagnosed with depression six months ago, she refused to believe it. In her opinion, her son is smart and clever, and he is praised by everyone in the school as a "top student", Peng Peng ranks in the top 50 of nearly 1,000 students in the placement test of the first year of junior high school, and he can teach himself to programming, and the use of the C++ language is more proficient than many adult programmers. She feels that the relationship between the child and her parents has always been good, because she has already decided to send her son to study abroad in high school, she has adopted the "free-range" model since Peng Peng was a child, and has never had any requirements for the child academically. Therefore, she never imagined that her son would be involved in depression.

It was not until he was diagnosed that Peng Peng hesitated to uncover the scars hidden in his heart.

The scars go back to when he was in elementary school two years ago. Peng Peng once inadvertently contradicted his homeroom teacher and Chinese teacher, and the two had a fierce conflict. After that, the teacher took the students to mock Peng Peng's essay in class—it was a little boy's wild imagination, which did not meet the marking standards, but it could not be called anything wrong. In the end, in the laughter of the whole class, the teacher tore Peng Peng's composition to shreds in front of the children.

The young Peng Peng did not tell his mother about it, but chose to digest it by himself. He is a highly sensitive child, unable to resolve this kind of bullying, does not want to face it, and has nowhere to escape. He first hated the Chinese teacher, then changed from hating the teacher to hating the Chinese subject, and then, as long as everything related to the language, he also "hated the house and the black".

Peng Peng's mother did not notice the child's abnormality, and the smart Peng Peng did a great job of hiding his emotions, except for the occasional fluctuation in his language scores, there was no big abnormality. It wasn't until he entered the first year of junior high school that his subjects increased sharply, the pressure hit the sea, and the physical and psychological changes after entering adolescence, Peng Peng's fragile nerves finally collapsed.

Pengpeng's initial symptoms were extreme low self-esteem and concern about his state. He started a kind of catastrophic pessimism, and not only his mother, but no one else could take his word at all. He kept attacking himself:

"I'm nothing, no one is better than me, and people like me who can't manage their emotions have any future. ”

"I might as well be dead. ”

"Mom, it's a shame for you to raise a child like me. ”

As soon as this mode is opened, no matter what others consol, it is not right, even if it is a sentence that is carefully considered, it will attract a greater counterattack from Peng Peng. He is never satisfied with himself, and he always exudes self-blame and pessimism, as if he is competing with himself every minute.

Peng Peng's mother checked a lot of information, and she saw a set of data from the research of Harvard Child Psychiatry: among highly sensitive children, the proportion of mood disorders such as depression and anxiety is as high as more than 6%. "Hypersensitivity" is not a disease, disorder, or defect, but a relatively stable and long-lasting personality trait that is almost innate. A child like Peng Peng is destined to have a deeper feeling of pain and love than ordinary children. They will constantly copy the pain of the past into the present – it is a copy, not a memory, and it is cruel. At the same time, highly sensitive children never seem to be able to stop thinking, they can't control themselves to keep getting more information, they can't block it, and if there is no channel for dissipation, collapse will occur under information overload.

Not long after the emotional problems continued, Peng Peng had a somatization reaction, and he kept having gastroenteritis-like symptoms: nausea, dizziness, and body aches similar to cold symptoms. Later, it developed into panic disorder. Panic disorder is usually triggered by excessive anxiety and depression, usually during times of extreme stress and emotional breakdown. It is a sudden onset of intense fear that can also trigger a serious physical reaction when there is no real danger and no obvious cause. At its worst, the patient may feel like they are losing control and may even feel like they are out of their body and perceive death.

Peng Peng fell into various pains: headaches, heart pain, stomach pain...... Every part of the body is not as if it is not its own. At its worst, Peng Peng had a feeling of rapid heartbeat and difficulty breathing, as if the whole world was pressing on his chest, which overwhelmed him.

For more than a year, Peng Peng's mother took her son to find 3 or 4 psychological counselors and family educators, and visited all the top hospitals in the city. Counseling cannot be said to be ineffective, and Peng Peng's hidden pain was only said under the guidance of a psychiatrist. But since then, the treatment has reached an impasse and there has been no progress for a long time.

Peng Peng's mother fell into reflection. Occasionally, she complains that she is a single mother and that her children lack more people to communicate with at home, especially young boys in their teenage years, and have more questions that they can't talk to their mothers. But she blames herself more for her own nervousness, and has not been able to empathize with her son's past mood swings: "I haven't done it for more than 10 years, and it makes me feel like a big disaster scene." ”

She tried to empathize with her son's hatred, struggled to understand his son's discomfort, entanglement, guilt, twisting, and inability to face his hatred, and began to cry quietly when she finally brought herself into the little boy who had lost his ability to be self-consistent.

For a highly sensitive child like Peng Peng, it is much more difficult to resolve and reverse the situation than ordinary children.

Peng Peng's mother is a man of action, she is resolute, trying to pull her son out of the quagmire in the shortest time. She doesn't fully agree with the moderate policy of most parents, in her opinion, "acceptance and respect" is necessary, but by no means sufficient, such a way seems to her to be a bit negative and slow, she can't wait.

After doing a lot of research and analysis, she finally followed the advice of the director of the psychiatric department in the hospital - the director believes that for Peng Peng, external adjustment and psychological counseling are all auxiliaries, and the child's neurotransmitters have been seriously insufficient, and it takes at least 3 months of medication to grow nerve cells.

Fortunately, compared to many children who are not sensitive to drugs, Pengpeng's treatment effect is good. With the combination of the drug and transcranial magnetic stimulation, more than 1 month has passed, Peng Peng's mood has become obviously happy, and the difficulty in falling asleep has also been alleviated.

This gave Peng Peng's mother a great boost, but she knew that this treatment was by no means a one-time solution. After completing the most basic treatment, she and Peng Peng still have a long way to go - the stability of the family, the sense of value of the child's self-growth, and the restoration of self-esteem...... She still needs to do a lot to refill her son's missing neurotransmitters.

She took the initiative to find the head teacher of the junior high school and applied to be the president of the parent committee in her son's class. This move made many people not understand: "Peng Peng has taken leave to stay at home, not at school at all, what are you still busy doing as the chairman of the parent committee?"

Peng Peng's mother didn't want to explain, and was asked a lot, so she just said a few words: "It's because Peng Peng doesn't go to school anymore that I must be the chairman." In this way, the teacher has to contact me often, so that Peng Peng will not be forgotten, and the teacher will be willing to cooperate with our needs. It is necessary to have the support and understanding of the school teachers in order to be more conducive to the child's return to school. ”

The parents then nodded: "It's not easy for you." ”

"For the sake of the child, that's all I can do. ”

The junior high school homeroom teacher did give Peng Peng a lot of help, but it wasn't just because his mother was the chairman of the parent committee. Before Peng Peng officially took a long vacation, the teacher gave the boy a leniency and tolerance that was different from other children. Once, Peng Peng suddenly collapsed in the Chinese class, crying and shouting: "Why should I waste time on this subject that I don't like at all?" The head teacher knew Peng Peng's situation, and did not blame too much, and in turn comforted Peng Peng: "Don't worry, it's okay whether you want to go to class or not, whether you do your homework or not, what it looks like, the teacher won't criticize you, you just need to take your time." ”

This made Peng Peng, who had calmed down, embarrassed, and said to his mother in tears: "I'm sorry, I know that it is unfair to him to let the current teacher bear my emotions." I also know that the teacher is very innocent, but I really can't get over that hurdle in my heart. ”

Peng Peng's mother was grateful for the teacher's tolerance, but she was worried. Although tolerance comes from the awareness and patience of educators, it is inevitable that my son's behavior has also caused a lot of trouble to the school. She has always been worried about the impact of her children's behavior on her classmates, if there are more children who follow suit, how will the teacher teach the class, and how will the school manage? Therefore, becoming the president of the parent committee is not only her selfish little calculation, but also her gratitude and feedback as a parent for the special care of the teacher.

In addition, parents and schools are tolerant of children now, but what about the future? Can the order of this society accept children unconditionally? Every time she thought of this, she secretly resolved to promote Peng Peng's return to society as soon as possible. 

In November this year, seeing that Peng Peng's situation continued to improve, his mother made up her mind that Peng Peng's resumption of school was on the agenda. It was not an easy decision, and Pengpeng's mother was under tremendous mental pressure.

She is worried that the multiple complex pressures after the resumption of school will make Peng Peng's emotions collapse again, and will bring all the efforts he made before back to square one.

Even if you do make up your mind, returning to school itself is a complicated and difficult matter. In depression and anxiety, there is more of a situation in which the patient encounters difficulties that are difficult to solve in real life, and it is the difficulties themselves that cause mood disorders. If the problem itself is not solved, the patient will not be able to recover by relying solely on soothing and treating the mood. Even if the child can take the initiative to return to school, once the child enters the campus alone, most of the time the child is alone with the pressure on campus. In the incomplete statistics of the people, the success rate of depressed children who suspend school and finally return to school completely normal is actually less than 20%.

The first thing Peng Peng's mother wants to recover is her son's "social attributes".

Taking your son out of the house is the first step. Little by little, she tried to take Peng Peng to pick up couriers and buy snacks, and later, she took Peng Peng to find a "one-on-one" teacher for class. In her opinion, the most important thing is to "get out the door", and when the child is comfortable trying to deal with strangers, the social skills are almost restored.

Next, it's time for more practical preparations.

On the one hand, she took Peng Peng to self-study at home, making up for the homework she had missed little by little, and even making up for units that exceeded the normal teaching progress. She feels that letting the child return to the class with a little sense of superiority is the key to returning to school, so that the child will not feel inferior and will not be beaten back to his original shape by an exam. In the review of parents who have failed to return to school, many children's "stuck points" are that they do not understand the curriculum after resuming school, or get a bad score on an exam.

On the other hand, she focused on psychological adjustment and mental preparation for Peng Peng. She made a long list of all the uncomfortable conversations she thought might happen:

"Where haven't you been in so long?"

"I heard that you're tired of studying, so what are you going to do when you come back?"

Those slightly innocent and malicious words, like broken shells scattered in the endless sand, inadvertently will hurt their feet, no one knows where they will come from, Peng Peng's mother can only rack her brains one by one, every time she comes up with one, she will think in the bottom of her heart that her son may be hurt less.

November 20th is the resumption of school that Peng Peng's mother and son discussed with the teacher. The night before, Peng Peng's mother and the parents of several classmates called for a long time in advance, repeatedly asking their children that they could accompany Peng Peng more when he returned to school tomorrow, and the kind children were full of promises.

That night, she also made a long phone call to the head teacher, explaining Peng Peng's recent status one by one, and finally Yin Yin advised: "I am at the school gate, once the child has something wrong, please call me immediately, I will pick him up." ”

The next morning, Peng Peng's mother carefully handed over the keys to the house to the child, and repeatedly emphasized: "Once you feel any discomfort and want to go home, you can go home at any time." Peng Peng knew that his mother would always be at the school gate, and the key would not be needed anyway, but he still solemnly put away the key.

As soon as Peng Peng walked into the school gate, several good friends rushed to meet him, surrounded him, and held his big and small hands together. At that moment, my mother's tears burst out of her eyes.

That day, worried that Peng Peng would not be adaptable, my mother and the teacher made an appointment to only attend half a day's class. After a morning of anxious waiting, she did not receive a call from the child or the teacher, and her heart welled up with ecstasy: "It seems that the situation is going more smoothly than expected." ”

When I saw Peng Peng after school at noon, my mood was more stable than my mother imagined. He shared with his mother: "In the beginning, the 50 meters to enter the classroom door was the hardest, and I could barely move my steps. But when I really broke through and sat in my seat, I suddenly thought: Ah, nothing happened, so what was I suffering from before?"

Peng Peng's mother couldn't help but recall the inner tugging when she called her son to get up in the morning and before going out. Although she had long known that it would not be easy to bring her son to school for real, at that time, seeing Peng Peng's face full of pain, she really thought for a few moments that this child would not be able to return to school.

Fortunately, it's all gone. Peng Peng's mother raised her head, touched her son's hairy head, and was happy in her heart, she felt that she had won most of the difficult battle.

Of course, Peng Peng's mother knows that the next road is still not easy.

Her son was still whispering to her about his fear, his fear of school had not completely disappeared, and the pressure on himself was constantly expanding. The aura of "Xueba" has passed, and he has begun to feel uncertain about those math problems that he once had a good grasp of, and he is even more afraid to speak easily.

The mother knew that it would take a long time for her child's self-confidence to recover, but her heart began to settle down and she was no longer afraid. She thought that no matter what the road to the future was, after all, she would only have to accompany her children little by little.

(Names have been changed)

编辑 | 许智博     运营 | 嘉宇     实习 | 佳怡

Nanshan Autumn

rational optimist,

Reconcile with yourself in your own way

The header image of this article is selected from the movie "Hummingbird" (2018), and the picture has nothing to do with the content of the article.

The submitted article must ensure the authenticity of the content and all content information (including but not limited to all elements such as character relationships, events, and detailed development), and ensure that the work does not contain any fictional content.

The article was produced by NetEase Cultural Creativity丨Human Studio

How do you and your child get along?

Do you know your child?

Can you really know yourself?

If you feel powerless in life, if you feel tired from various relationships, it is better to come to the "No Anxiety Parents Club" to meet more like-minded friends and have more people who can listen to you.

.data_color_scheme_dark{--weui-BTN-ACTIVE-MASK: rgba(255, 255, 255, .1)}.data_color_scheme_dark{--weui-BTN-DEFAULT-ACTIVE-BG: rgba(255, 255, 255, .126)}.data_color_scheme_dark{--weui-DIALOG-LINE-COLOR: rgba(255, 255, 255, .1)}.data_color_scheme_dark{--weui-BG-COLOR-ACTIVE: #373737}.data_color_scheme_dark{--weui-BG-6: rgba(255, 255, 255, .1);--weui-ACTIVE-MASK: rgba(255, 255, .1)}.data_color_scheme_dark{--weui-REDORANGE: #ff6146;--weui-BG-0: #111;--weui-BG-1: #1e1e1e;--weui-BG-2: #191919;--weui-BG-3: #202020;--weui-BG-4: #404040;--weui-BG-5: #2c2c2c;--weui-FG-0: rgba(255, 255, 255, .8);--weui-FG-HALF: rgba(255, 255, 255, .6);--weui-FG-1: rgba(255, 255, 255, .5);--weui-FG-2: rgba(255, 255, 255, .3);--weui-FG-3: rgba(255, 255, 255, .1);--weui-FG-4: rgba(255, 255, 255, .15);--weui-FG-5: rgba(255, 255, 255, .1);--weui-RED: #fa5151;--weui-ORANGERED: #ff6146;--weui-ORANGE: #c87d2f;--weui-YELLOW: #cc9c00;--weui-GREEN: #74a800;;--weui-LIGHTGREEN: #3eb575;--weui-FIRE: #07c160;--weui-BLUE: #10aeff;--weui-INDIGO: #1196ff;--weui-PURPLE: #8183ff;--weui-WHITE: rgba(255, 255, 255, .8);--weui-LINK: #7d90a9;--weui-TEXTGREEN: #259c5c;--weui-FG: #fff;--weui-BG: #000;--weui-TAG-TEXT-RED: rgba(250, 81, 81, .6);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-RED: rgba(250, 81, 81, .1);--weui-TAG-TEXT-ORANGE: rgba(250, 157, 59, .6); --weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-ORANGE: rgba(250, 157, 59, .1);--weui-TAG-TEXT-GREEN: rgba(6, 174, 86, .6);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-GREEN: rgba(6, 174, 86, .1);--weui-TAG-TEXT-BLUE: rgba(16, 174, 255, .6);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-BLUE: rgba(16, 174, 255, .1);--weui-TAG-TEXT-BLACK: rgba(255, 255, 255, .5);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-BLACK: rgba(255, 255, 255, .05)}.data_color_scheme_dark{--weui-BG-0: #111;--weui-BG-1: #1e1e1e;--weui-BG-2: #191919;--weui-BG-3: #202020;--weui-BG-4: #404040;--weui-BG-5: #2c2c2c;--weui-FG-0: rgba(255, 255, 255, .8);--weui-FG-HALF: rgba(255, 255, 255, .6);--weui-FG-1: rgba(255, 255, 255, .5);--weui-FG-2: rgba(255, 255, 255, .3);--weui-FG-3: rgba(255, 255, 255, .1);--weui-FG-4: rgba(255, 255, 255, .15);--weui-FG-5: rgba(255, 255, 255, .1);--weui-RED: #fa5151;--weui-ORANGERED: #ff6146;--weui-ORANGE: #c87d2f;--weui-YELLOW: #cc9c00;--weui-GREEN: #74a800;--weui-LIGHTGREEN: #3eb575;--weui-FIRE: #07c160;--weui-BLUE: #10aeff;--weui-INDIGO: #1196ff;--weui-PURPLE: #8183ff;--weui-WHITE: rgba(255, 255, 255, .8);--weui-LINK: #7d90a9;--weui-TEXTGREEN: #259c5c;--weui-FG: #fff;--weui-BG: #000;--weui-TAG-TEXT-RED: rgba(250, 81, 81, .6);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-RED: rgba(250, 81, 81, .1);--weui-TAG-TEXT-ORANGE: rgba(250, 157, 59, .6);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-ORANGE: rgba(250, 157, 59, .1);--weui-TAG-TEXT-GREEN: rgba(6, 174, 86, .6);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-GREEN: rgba(6, 174, 86, .1);--weui-TAG-TEXT-BLUE: rgba(16, 174, 255, .6);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-BLUE: rgba(16, 174, 255, .1);--weui-TAG-TEXT-BLACK: rgba(255, 255, 255, .5);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-BLACK: rgba(255, 255, 255, .05)}.data_color_scheme_dark{--weui-elpsColor: rgba(255, 255, .8)}.data_color_scheme_dark{--weui-mask-elpsColor: rgba(255, 255, 255, .8);--weui-mask-gradient: linear-gradient(to right, rgba(25, 25, 25, 0), #191919 40%)}.data_color_scheme_dark{--weui-BG-0: #111;--weui-BG-1: #1e1e1e;--weui-BG-2: #191919;--weui-BG-3: #202020;--weui-BG-4: #404040;--weui-BG-5: #2c2c2c;--weui-FG-0: rgba(255, 255, 255, .8);--weui-FG-HALF: rgba(255, 255, 255, .6);--weui-FG-1: rgba(255, 255, 255, .5);--weui-FG-2: rgba(255, 255, 255, .3);--weui-FG-3: rgba(255, 255, 255, .1);--weui-FG-4: rgba(255, 255, 255, .15);--weui-FG-5: rgba(255, 255, 255, .1);--weui-RED: #fa5151;--weui-ORANGERED: #ff6146;--weui-ORANGE: #c87d2f;--weui-YELLOW: #cc9c00;--weui-GREEN: #74a800;--weui-LIGHTGREEN: #3eb575;;--weui-FIRE: #07c160;--weui-BLUE: #10aeff;--weui-INDIGO: #1196ff;--weui-PURPLE: #8183ff;--weui-WHITE: rgba(255, 255, 255, .8);--weui-LINK: #7d90a9;--weui-TEXTGREEN: #259c5c;--weui-FG: #fff;--weui-BG: #000;--weui-TAG-TEXT-RED: rgba(250, 81, 81, .6);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-RED: rgba(250, 81, 81, .1);--weui-TAG-TEXT-ORANGE: rgba(250, 157, 59, .6);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-ORANGE: rgba(250, 157, 59, .1);--weui-TAG-TEXT-GREEN: rgba(6, 174, 86, .6);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-GREEN: rgba(6, 174, 86, .1);--weui-TAG-TEXT-BLUE: rgba(16, 174, 255, .6);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-BLUE: rgba(16, 174, 255, .1);--weui-TAG-TEXT-BLACK: rgba(255, 255, 255, .5);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-BLACK: rgba(255, 255, 255, .05)}.rich_media_content{color:#000000e5; font-size:var(--articleFontsize); overflow:hidden; text-align:justify}.rich_media_content{color:var(--weui-FG-HALF)}.rich_media_content{position:relative; z-index:0}.rich_media_content:not(.old_list_style) .list-paddingleft-1,.rich_media_content:not(.old_list_style) .list-paddingleft-2,.rich_media_content:not(.old_list_style) .list-paddingleft-3{padding-left:2.2em}.rich_media_content:not(.old_list_style) .list-paddingleft-1 .list-paddingleft-2,.rich_media_content:not(.old_list_style) .list-paddingleft-2 .list-paddingleft-2,.rich_media_content:not(.old_list_style) .list-paddingleft-3 .list-paddingleft-2{ padding-left:30px}.rich_media_content:not(.old_list_style) .list-paddingleft-1{padding-left:1.2em}.rich_media_content:not(.old_list_style).fix_apple_default_style .list-paddingleft-1{padding-left:1.5em}.rich_media_content.old_list_style .list-paddingleft-1,.rich_media_content.old_list_style .list-paddingleft-2,.rich_media_content.old_list_style .list-paddingleft-3{padding-left:0}.rich_media_content.old_list_style .list-paddingleft-1 .list-paddingleft-1, .rich_media_content.old_list_style .list-paddingleft-2 .list-paddingleft-2,.rich_media_content.old_list_style .list-paddingleft-3 .list-paddingleft-3{padding-left:1.2em}.wxw-img{vertical-align:bottom}*{margin:0; padding:0}.rich_media_content *{max-width:100%!important; box-sizing:border-box!important;-webkit-box-sizing:border-box!important; word-wrap:break-word!important}body,.wx-root,page{--weui-BTN-HEIGHT: 48;--weui-BTN-HEIGHT-MEDIUM: 40;--weui-BTN-HEIGHT-SMALL: 32}body{--weui-elpsLine: 2;--weui-elpsFontSize: 1rem;--weui-elpsColor: rgba(0, 0, 0, .9)}body{--weui-mask-elpsLine: 2;--weui-mask-elpsLineHeight: 1.4;---weui-mask-elpsFontSize: 1rem;--weui-mask-elpsColor: rgba(0, 0, 0, .9);--weui-mask-gradient: linear-gradient(to right, rgba(255, 255, 255, 0), #ffffff 40%)}@media(prefers-color-scheme:dark){body: not([data-weui-theme=light]){--weui-elpsColor: rgba(255, 255, 255, ..8)}}@media(prefers-color-scheme:dark){body:not([data-weui-theme=light]){--weui-mask-elpsColor: rgba(255, 255, 255, .8);--weui-mask-gradient: linear-gradient(to right, rgba(25, 25, 25, 0), #191919 40%)}}@media screen and (min-width:1024px){body:not(.pages_skin_pc) body,body:not(.pages_skin_pc) .wx-root{--weui-BG-0: #ededed;--weui-BG-1: #f7f7f7;--weui-BG-2: #fff;--weui-BG-3: #f7f7f7;--weui-BG-4: #4c4c4c;;--weui-BG-5: #fff;--weui-FG-0: rgba(0, 0, 0, .9);--weui-FG-HALF: rgba(0, 0, 0, .9);--weui-FG-1: rgba(0, 0, 0, .55);--weui-FG-2: rgba(0, 0, 0, .3);--weui-FG-3: rgba(0, 0, 0, .1);--weui-FG-4: rgba(0, 0, 0, .15);--weui-FG-5: rgba(0, 0, 0, .05);--weui-RED: #fa5151;--weui-ORANGERED: #ff6146;--weui-ORANGE: #fa9d3b;--weui-YELLOW: #ffc300;--weui-GREEN: #91d300;--weui-LIGHTGREEN: #95ec69;--weui-FIRE: #07c160;--weui-BLUE: #10aeff;;--weui-INDIGO: #1485ee;--weui-PURPLE: #6467f0;--weui-WHITE: #fff;--weui-LINK: #576b95;--weui-TEXTGREEN: #06ae56;--weui-FG: #000;--weui-BG: #fff;--weui-TAG-TEXT-RED: rgba(250, 81, 81, .6);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-RED: rgba(250, 81, 81, .1);--weui-TAG-TEXT-ORANGE: #fa9d3b;--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-ORANGE: rgba(250, 157, 59, .1);--weui-TAG-TEXT-GREEN: #06ae56;--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-GREEN: rgba(6, 174, 86, .1);--weui-TAG-TEXT-BLUE: #10aeff;--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-BLUE: rgba(16, 174, 255, .. 1);--weui-TAG-TEXT-BLACK: rgba(0, 0, 0, .5);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-BLACK: rgba(0, 0, 0, .05)}}@media screen and (min-width:1024px){body:not(.pages_skin_pc) .wx-root[data-weui-mode=care],body:not(.pages_skin_pc) body[data-weui-mode=care]{--weui-BG-0: #ededed;--weui-BG-1: #f7f7f7;--weui-BG-2: #fff;--weui-BG-3: #f7f7f7;--weui-BG-4: #4c4c4c;--weui-BG-5: #fff;--weui-FG-0: #000;--weui-FG-HALF: #000;--weui-FG-1: rgba(0, 0, 0, .6);--weui-FG-2: rgba(0, 0, 0, .42);--weui-FG-3: rgba(0, 0, 0, .1);--weui-FG-4: rgba(0, 0, 0, .15);--weui-FG-5: rgba(0, 0, 0, .05);--weui-RED: #dc3636;--weui-ORANGERED: #d14730;--weui-ORANGE: #e17719;--weui-YELLOW: #bb8e00;--weui-GREEN: #4f8400;--weui-LIGHTGREEN: #2e8800;--weui-BRAND: #018942;--weui-BLUE: #007dbb;--weui-INDIGO: #0075e2;--weui-PURPLE: #6265f1;--weui-WHITE: #fff;--weui-LINK: #576b95;--weui-TEXTGREEN: #06ae56;--weui-FG: #000;--weui-BG: #fff;--weui-TAG-TEXT-RED: rgba(250, 81, 81, .) 6);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-RED: rgba(250, 81, 81, .1);--weui-TAG-TEXT-ORANGE: #e17719;--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-ORANGE: rgba(225, 119, 25, .1);--weui-TAG-TEXT-GREEN: #06ae56;--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-GREEN: rgba(6, 174, 86, .1);--weui-TAG-TEXT-BLUE: #007dbb;--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-BLUE: rgba(0, 125, 187, .1);--weui-TAG-TEXT-BLACK: rgba(0, 0, 0, .5);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-BLACK: rgba(0, 0, 0, .05)}}@media screen and (min-width:1024px) {body:not(.pages_skin_pc) .wx-root[data-weui-mode=care][data-weui-theme=dark],body:not(.pages_skin_pc) body[data-weui-mode=care][data-weui-theme=dark]{--weui-BG-0: #111;--weui-BG-1: #1e1e1e;--weui-BG-2: #191919;--weui-BG-3: #202020;--weui-BG-4: #404040;--weui-BG-5: #2c2c2c;--weui-FG-0: rgba(255, 255, 255, .85);--weui-FG-HALF: rgba(255, 255, 255, .65);--weui-FG-1: rgba(255, 255, 255, .55);--weui-FG-2: rgba(255, 255, 255, .35);--weui-FG-3: rgba(255, 255, 255, .1);--weui-FG-4: rgba(255, 255, 255, .15);--weui-FG-5: rgba(255, 255, 255, .. 1);--weui-RED: #fa5151;--weui-ORANGERED: #ff6146;--weui-ORANGE: #c87d2f;--weui-YELLOW: #cc9c00;--weui-GREEN: #74a800;--weui-LIGHTGREEN: #3eb575;--weui-FIRE: #07c160;--weui-BLUE: #10aeff;--weui-INDIGO: #1196ff;--weui-PURPLE: #8183ff;--weui-WHITE: rgba(255, 255, 255, .8);--weui-LINK: #7d90a9;--weui-TEXTGREEN: #259c5c;--weui-FG: #fff;--weui-BG: #000;--weui-TAG-TEXT-RED: rgba(250, 81, 81, .6);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-RED: rgba(250, 81, 81, .1);--weui-TAG-TEXT-ORANGE: rgba(250, 157, 59, .1) 6);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-ORANGE: rgba(250, 157, 59, .1);--weui-TAG-TEXT-GREEN: rgba(6, 174, 86, .6);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-GREEN: rgba(6, 174, 86, .1);--weui-TAG-TEXT-BLUE: rgba(16, 174, 255, .6);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-BLUE: rgba(16, 174, 255, .1);--weui-TAG-TEXT-BLACK: rgba(255, 255, 255, .5);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-BLACK: rgba(255, 255, 255, .05)}}@media screen and (min-width:1024px){body:not(.pages_skin_pc) .wx-root,body:not(.pages_skin_pc) body{--appmsgExtra-BG: #F7F7F7}}@media screen and (min-width:1024px){body:not(.pages_skin_pc) .wx-root[data-weui-theme=dark],body:not(.pages_skin_pc) body[data-weui-theme=dark]{--weui-BG-0: #111;--weui-BG-1: #1e1e1e;--weui-BG-2: #191919;--weui-BG-3: #202020;--weui-BG-4: #404040;--weui-BG-5: #2c2c2c;--weui-FG-0: rgba(255, 255, 255, .8);--weui-FG-HALF: rgba(255, 255, 255, .6);--weui-FG-1: rgba(255, 255, 255, .5);--weui-FG-2: rgba(255, 255, 255, .5) 3);--weui-FG-3: rgba(255, 255, 255, .1);--weui-FG-4: rgba(255, 255, 255, .15);--weui-FG-5: rgba(255, 255, 255, .1);--weui-RED: #fa5151;--weui-ORANGERED: #ff6146;--weui-ORANGE: #c87d2f;--weui-YELLOW: #cc9c00;--weui-GREEN: #74a800;--weui-LIGHTGREEN: #3eb575;--weui-BRAND: #07c160;--weui-BLUE: #10aeff;--weui-INDIGO: #1196ff;--weui-PURPLE: #8183ff;--weui-WHITE: rgba(255, 255, 255, .8);--weui-LINK: #7d90a9;--weui-TEXTGREEN: #259c5c;--weui-FG: #fff;--weui-BG: #000;--weui-TAG-TEXT-RED: rgba(250, 81, 81, .6);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-RED: rgba(250, 81, 81, .1);--weui-TAG-TEXT-ORANGE: rgba(250, 157, 59, .6);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-ORANGE: rgba(250, 157, 59, .1);--weui-TAG-TEXT-GREEN: rgba(6, 174, 86, .6);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-GREEN: rgba(6, 174, 86, .1);--weui-TAG-TEXT-BLUE: rgba(16, 174, 255, .6);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-BLUE: rgba(16, 174, 255, .1);--weui-TAG-TEXT-BLACK: rgba(255, 255, 255, .5);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-BLACK: rgba(255, 255, 255, .05)}}@media screen and (min-width:1024px){body:not(.pages_skin_pc) .wx-root[data-weui-theme=dark],body:not(.pages_skin_pc) body[data-weui-theme=dark]{--appmsgExtra-BG: #121212}}@media screen and (min-width:1024px){body:not(.pages_skin_pc)body:not(.pages_skin_pc){background:var(--weui-BG-2)}}@media screen and (min-width:1024px) and (prefers-color-scheme: dark){body:not(.pages_skin_pc) .wx-root[data-weui-mode=care]:not([data-weui-theme=light]),,body:not(.pages_skin_pc) body[data-weui-mode=care]:not([data-weui-theme=light]){--weui-BG-0: #111;--weui-BG-1: #1e1e1e;--weui-BG-2: #191919;--weui-BG-3: #202020;--weui-BG-4: #404040;--weui-BG-5: #2c2c2c;--weui-FG-0: rgba(255, 255, 255, .85);--weui-FG-HALF: rgba(255, 255, 255, .65);--weui-FG-1: rgba(255, 255, 255, .55);--weui-FG-2: rgba(255, 255, 255, .35);--weui-FG-3: rgba(255, 255, 255, .1);--weui-FG-4: rgba(255, 255, 255, .. 15);--weui-FG-5: rgba(255, 255, 255, .1);--weui-RED: #fa5151;--weui-ORANGERED: #ff6146;--weui-ORANGE: #c87d2f;--weui-YELLOW: #cc9c00;--weui-GREEN: #74a800;--weui-LIGHTGREEN: #3eb575;--weui-FIRE: #07c160;--weui-BLUE: #10aeff;--weui-INDIGO: #1196ff;--weui-PURPLE: #8183ff;--weui-WHITE: rgba(255, 255, 255, .8);--weui-LINK: #7d90a9;--weui-TEXTGREEN: #259c5c;--weui-FG: #fff;--weui-BG: #000;-- weui-TAG-TEXT-RED: rgba(250, 81, 81, .6);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-RED: rgba(250, 81, 81, .6);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-RED: rgba(250, 81, 81, .6);-weui-tag-background-red: rgba(250, 81, 81, .6);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-RED: rgba(250, 81, 81, .6);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-RED: rgba(250, 81, 81, ..) 1);--weui-TAG-TEXT-ORANGE: rgba(250, 157, 59, .6);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-ORANGE: rgba(250, 157, 59, .1);--weui-TAG-TEXT-GREEN: rgba(6, 174, 86, .6);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-GREEN: rgba(6, 174, 86, .1);--weui-TAG-TEXT-BLUE: rgba(16, 174, 255, .6);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-BLUE: rgba(16, 174, 255, .1);--weui-TAG-TEXT-BLACK: rgba(255, 255, 255, .5);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-BLACK: rgba(255, 255, 255, .5);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-BLACK: rgba(255, 255, 255, .5);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-BLACK: rgba(255, 255, .5);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-BLACK: rgba(255, 255, 255, .5);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-BLACK: rgba(255, 255, 255, .5);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-BLACK 255, 255, .05)}}@media screen and (min-width:1024px) and (prefers-color-scheme:dark){body:not(.pages_skin_pc) .wx-root:not([data-weui-theme=light]),body:not(.pages_skin_pc) body:not([data-weui-theme=light]){--weui-BG-0: #111;--weui-BG-1: #1e1e1e;--weui-BG-2: #191919;--weui-BG-3: #202020;--weui-BG-4: #404040;--weui-BG-5: #2c2c2c;--weui-FG-0: rgba(255, 255, 255, .8);--weui-FG-HALF: rgba(255, 255, 255, .6);--weui-FG-1: rgba(255, 255, 255, .5);--weui-FG-2: rgba(255, 255, 255, .3);--weui-FG-3: rgba(255, 255, 255, .. 1);--weui-FG-4: rgba(255, 255, 255, .15);--weui-FG-5: rgba(255, 255, 255, .1);--weui-RED: #fa5151;--weui-ORANGERED: #ff6146;--weui-ORANGE: #c87d2f;--weui-YELLOW: #cc9c00;--weui-GREEN: #74a800;--weui-LIGHTGREEN: #3eb575;--weui-BRAND: #07c160;--weui-BLUE: #10aeff;--weui-INDIGO: #1196ff;--weui-PURPLE: #8183ff;--weui-WHITE: rgba(255, 255, 255, .8);--weui-LINK: #7d90a9;--weui-TEXTGREEN: #259c5c;--weui-FG: #fff;--weui-BG: #000;--weui-TAG-TEXT-RED: rgba(250, 81, 81, .) 6);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-RED: rgba(250, 81, 81, .1);--weui-TAG-TEXT-ORANGE: rgba(250, 157, 59, .6);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-ORANGE: rgba(250, 157, 59, .1);--weui-TAG-TEXT-GREEN: rgba(6, 174, 86, .6);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-GREEN: rgba(6, 174, 86, .1);--weui-TAG-TEXT-BLUE: rgba(16, 174, 255, .6);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-BLUE: rgba(16, 174, 255, .1);--weui-TAG-TEXT-BLACK: rgba(255, 255, 255, .5);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-BLACK: rgba(255, 255, 255, .05)}}@media screen and (min-width:1024px) and (prefers-color-scheme:dark){body:not(.pages_skin_pc) .wx-root:not([data-weui-theme=light]),body:not(.pages_skin_pc) body:not([data-weui-theme=light]){-appmsgExtra-BG: #121212}}@media(prefers-color-scheme:dark){body:not([data-weui-theme=light]).my_comment_empty_data{background-color:#111}}body,.wx-root{--weui-BG-6: rgba(0, 0, 0, .05);--weui-ACTIVE-MASK: rgba(0, 0, 0, .05)}body,.., wx-root{--weui-REDORANGE: #ff6146;--weui-BG-0: #ededed;--weui-BG-1: #f7f7f7;--weui-BG-2: #fff;--weui-BG-3: #f7f7f7;--weui-BG-4: #4c4c4c;--weui-BG-5: #fff;--weui-FG-0: rgba(0, 0, 0, .9);--weui-FG-HALF: rgba(0, 0, 0, .9);--weui-FG-1: rgba(0, 0, 0, .55);--weui-FG-2: rgba(0, 0, 0, .3);--weui-FG-3: rgba(0, 0, .1);--weui-FG-4: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0, 0, .15);--weui-FG-5: rgba(0, 0, 0, .05);--weui-RED: #fa5151;--weui-ORANGERED: #ff6146;--weui-ORANGE: #fa9d3b;--weui-YELLOW: #ffc300;--weui-GREEN: #91d300;--weui-LIGHTGREEN: #95ec69;--weui-FIRE: #07c160;--weui-BLUE: #10aeff;--weui-INDIGO: #1485ee;--weui-PURPLE: #6467f0;--weui-WHITE: #fff;--weui-LINK: #576b95;--weui-TEXTGREEN: #06ae56;--weui-FG: #000;--weui-BG: #fff;--weui-TAG-TEXT-RED: rgba(250, 81, 81, .6);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-RED: rgba(250, 81, .1);-- weui-TAG-TEXT-ORANGE: #fa9d3b;--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-ORANGE: rgba(250, 157, 59, .1);--weui-TAG-TEXT-GREEN: #06ae56;--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-GREEN: rgba(6, 174, 86, .1);--weui-TAG-TEXT-BLUE: #10aeff;--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-BLUE: rgba(16, 174, 255, .1);--weui-TAG-TEXT-BLACK: rgba(0, 0, 0, .5);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-BLACK: rgba(0, 0, 0, .05)}body,.wx-root{--weui-BG-0: #ededed;--weui-BG-1: #f7f7f7;--weui-BG-2: #fff;--weui-BG-3: #f7f7f7;--weui-BG-4: #4c4c4c;--weui-BG-5: #fff;--weui-FG-0: rgba(0, 0, 0, .. 9);--weui-FG-HALF: rgba(0, 0, 0, .9);--weui-FG-1: rgba(0, 0, 0, .55);--weui-FG-2: rgba(0, 0, 0, .3);--weui-FG-3: rgba(0, 0, 0, .1);--weui-FG-4: rgba(0, 0, 0, .15);--weui-FG-5: rgba(0, 0, 0, .05);--weui-RED: #fa5151;--weui-ORANGERED: #ff6146;--weui-ORANGE: #fa9d3b;--weui-YELLOW: #ffc300;--weui-GREEN: #91d300;--weui-LIGHTGREEN: #95ec69;--weui-FIRE: #07c160;--weui-BLUE: #10aeff;--weui-INDIGO: #1485ee;--weui-PURPLE: #6467f0;--weui-WHITE: #fff;;--weui-LINK: #576b95;--weui-TEXTGREEN: #06ae56;--weui-FG: #000;--weui-BG: #fff;--weui-TAG-TEXT-RED: rgba(250, 81, 81, .6);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-RED: rgba(250, 81, 81, .1);--weui-TAG-TEXT-ORANGE: #fa9d3b;--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-ORANGE: rgba(250, 157, 59, .1);--weui-TAG-TEXT-GREEN: #06ae56;--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-GREEN: rgba(6, 174, 86, .1);--weui-TAG-TEXT-BLUE: #10aeff;--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-BLUE: rgba(16, 174, 255, .1);--weui-TAG-TEXT-BLACK: rgba(0, 0, 0, .. 5);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-BLACK: rgba(0, 0, 0, .05)}.wx-root,body{--weui-BTN-ACTIVE-MASK: rgba(0, 0, 0, .1)}.wx-root,body{--weui-BTN-DEFAULT-ACTIVE-BG: #e6e6e6}.wx-root,body{--weui-DIALOG-LINE-COLOR: rgba(0, 0, 0, .1)}.wx-root,body{--weui-BG-COLOR-ACTIVE: #ececec}@media(prefers-color-scheme:dark){.wx-root:not([data-weui-theme=light]),body:not([data-weui-theme=light]){--weui-BTN-ACTIVE-MASK: rgba(255, 255, .1)}} @media(prefers-color-scheme:dark){.wx-root:not([data-weui-theme=light]),body:not([data-weui-theme=light]){--weui-BTN-DEFAULT-ACTIVE-BG: rgba(255, 255, 255, .126)}}@media(prefers-color-scheme:dark){.wx-root:not([data-weui-theme=light]),body:not([data-weui-theme=light]){--weui-DIALOG-LINE-COLOR: rgba(255, 255, .1)}}@media(prefers-color-scheme:dark){.wx-root:not([data-weui-theme=light]),body:not([data-weui-theme=light]){--APPMSGCARD-BG: #1E1E1E}}@media( prefers-color-scheme:dark){.wx-root:not([data-weui-theme=light]),body:not([data-weui-theme=light]){--APPMSGCARD-LINE-BG: rgba(255, 255, 255, .07)}}@media(prefers-color-scheme:dark){.wx-root:not([data-weui-theme=light]),body:not([data-weui-theme=light]){--weui-BG-COLOR-ACTIVE: #373737}}@media(prefers-color-scheme:dark){.wx-root:not([data-weui-theme=light]),body:not([data-weui-theme=light]){--weui-BG-6: rgba(255, 255, 255, .1);--weui-ACTIVE-MASK: rgba(255, 255, 255, .1)}}@media(prefers-color-scheme:dark){.wx-root:not([data-weui-theme=light]),body:not([data-weui-theme=light]){--weui-REDORANGE: #ff6146;--weui-BG-0: #111;--weui-BG-1: #1e1e1e;--weui-BG-2: #191919;--weui-BG-3: #202020;--weui-BG-4: #404040;--weui-BG-5: #2c2c2c;--weui-FG-0: rgba(255, 255, 255, .8);--weui-FG-HALF: rgba(255, 255, 255, .6);--weui-FG-1: rgba(255, 255, 255, .5);--weui-FG-2: rgba(255, 255, 255, .3);--weui-FG-3: rgba(255, 255, 255, .1);--weui-FG-4: rgba(255, 255, 255, .15);--weui-FG-5: rgba(255, 255, 255, .1);--weui-RED: #fa5151;--weui-ORANGERED: #ff6146;--weui-ORANGE: #c87d2f;--weui-YELLOW: #cc9c00;--weui-GREEN: #74a800;--weui-LIGHTGREEN: #3eb575;--weui-FIRE: #07c160;--weui-BLUE: #10aeff;--weui-INDIGO: #1196ff;--weui-PURPLE: #8183ff;--weui-WHITE: rgba(255, 255, 255, .8);--weui-LINK: #7d90a9;--weui-TEXTGREEN: #259c5c;--weui-FG: #fff;--weui-BG: #000;--weui-TAG-TEXT-RED: rgba(250, 81, 81, .6); --weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-RED: rgba(250, 81, 81, .1);--weui-TAG-TEXT-ORANGE: rgba(250, 157, 59, .) 6);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-ORANGE: rgba(250, 157, 59, .1);--weui-TAG-TEXT-GREEN: rgba(6, 174, 86, .6);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-GREEN: rgba(6, 174, 86, .1);--weui-TAG-TEXT-BLUE: rgba(16, 174, 255, .6);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-BLUE: rgba(16, 174, 255, .1);--weui-TAG-TEXT-BLACK: rgba(255, 255, 255, .5);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-BLACK: rgba(255, 255, 255, .05)}}@media(prefers-color-scheme: dark){.wx-root:not([data-weui-theme=light]),body:not([data-weui-theme=light]){--discussInput-BG: rgba(255, 255, 255, .03)}}@media(prefers-color-scheme:dark){.wx-root:not([data-weui-theme=light]),body:not([data-weui-theme=light]){--nickName-FG: #959595}}@media(prefers-color-scheme:dark){.wx-root:not([data-weui-theme=light]),body:not([data-weui-theme=light]){--weui-BG-0: #111;--weui-BG-1: #1e1e1e;--weui-BG-2: #191919;--weui-BG-3: #202020;--weui-BG-4: #404040;--weui-BG-5: #2c2c2c;--weui-FG-0: rgba(255, 255, 255, .8);--weui-FG-HALF: rgba(255, 255, 255, .. 6);--weui-FG-1: rgba(255, 255, 255, .5);--weui-FG-2: rgba(255, 255, 255, .3);--weui-FG-3: rgba(255, 255, 255, .1);--weui-FG-4: rgba(255, 255, 255, .15);--weui-FG-5: rgba(255, 255, 255, .1);--weui-RED: #fa5151;--weui-ORANGERED: #ff6146;--weui-ORANGE: #c87d2f;--weui-YELLOW: #cc9c00;--weui-GREEN: #74a800;--weui-LIGHTGREEN: #3eb575;--weui-FIRE: #07c160;--weui-BLUE: #10aeff;--weui-INDIGO: #1196ff;--weui-PURPLE: #8183ff;--weui-WHITE: rgba(255, 255, 255, .8);--weui-LINK: #7d90a9;--weui-TEXTGREEN: #259c5c;--weui-FG: #fff;--weui-BG: #000;--weui-TAG-TEXT-RED: rgba(250, 81, 81, .6);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-RED: rgba(250, 81, 81, .1);--weui-TAG-TEXT-ORANGE: rgba(250, 157, 59, .6);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-ORANGE: rgba(250, 157, 59, .1);--weui-TAG-TEXT-GREEN: rgba(6, 174, 86, .6);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-GREEN: rgba(6, 174, 86, .1);--weui-TAG-TEXT-BLUE: rgba(16, 174, 255, .6);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-BLUE: rgba(16, 174, 255, .1);--weui-TAG-TEXT-BLACK: rgba(255, 255, 255, .5);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-BLACK: rgba(255, 255, 255, .05)}}@media(prefers-color-scheme:dark){.wx-root:not([data-weui-theme=light]),body:not([data-weui-theme=light]){--appmsgExtra-BG: #121212}}.rich_media_content p{clear:both; min-height:1em}td p{margin:0; padding:0}@media(prefers-color-scheme:dark){body:not([data-weui-theme=light]) .rich_media_content img:not(.wx_img_placeholder){filter:brightness(.8)}}.rich_media_content em{font-style:italic}@media screen and (min-width:1024px){body:not(.pages_skin_pc) :root{-appmsgPageGap: 20px;--appmsgPageBottomGap: 40px}}:root{--articleFontsize: 17px}:root{--sab: env(safe-area-input-bottom)}:root{--wxBorderAvatarRatio: 3}:root{--discussPageGap: 20px}:root{-- immersive-safe-bottom: env(safe-area-inset-bottom)}:root{--appmsgPageGap: 20px;--appmsgPageBottomGap: 40px}

div.autoTypeSetting24psection > p,div.autoTypeSetting24psection > section{margin-bottom: 24px;}