Text丨Deng Xianxu
According to the explanation of psychology, "loneliness" is an unpleasant negative emotional experience, in which people often feel lonely, depressed, anxious, empty, helpless, indifferent and even hopeless, often accompanied by an unforgettable sense of spiritual emptiness. "Loneliness" should be a topic that everyone has to face.
Throughout the ages, there have been many, many loneliness in written records.
For example, Liu Zongyuan's "Thousands of mountains and birds fly away, thousands of paths and people disappear, lonely boats, fishing alone in the cold river and snow". The meaning of this poem is simple and clear, but the meaning is profound. If loneliness is also "graded", then the loneliness written in this poem should be "hardcore". It's just that the birds are gone, the people are gone, and even on the cold river, there is only one old man supporting a lonely boat. Where is he fishing, he is clearly making a silent cry, fighting against fate!
Another example is Chen Ziang's "I don't see the ancients before, I don't see the people who come after, I think of the world and the world, and I cry alone." "I don't see the ancients before, and I don't see the comers after." "It's a sigh of the shortness of life. Poets look at the past and present, looking at the long river of history, and cannot help but feel the shortness of life. Since ancient times, how many people with lofty ideals have not been depressed and depressed because they feel that life is short, but have lifted their spirits more and made their limited lives nearly infinitely meaningful. It is precisely because Chen Ziang has such a positive attitude that he "burst into tears". It is precisely because in the depths of pathos that there is a positive desire to make a difference, so it can resonate with us. The poet looked up to the past and the present, deeply felt that life is short, the universe is infinite, and unconsciously shed tears. This is the poet's cry that he must not display with the heart of the country and the people. Reading carefully, a tragic and desolate atmosphere arises spontaneously.
Another example is Xin Qiji's "I saw Wu Hook, and the railing was patted all over, no one would, and I was on the verge of it." Jiaxuan returned to the south at the age of twenty-three, and has not been taken seriously, and at the age of twenty-six, he went to the "Ten Treatises on Mei Qin" and proposed an anti-gold strategy, but it was not adopted. Once, he climbed the Jiankang Appreciation Pavilion, looked at the mountains and rivers of the motherland from afar, had mixed feelings, and regretted that he was full of ambition and had no success. "I saw Wu Hook, the railing was patted all over, no one will, and I was going to do it" is a direct expression of his heart, and the author's thoughts are surging and excited at this time. But he did not directly use words to render, but chose actions with typical significance to vividly express his grief and indignation that he had no way to serve the country and that his ambition was difficult to reward. The "Wu Hook", which was supposed to kill the enemy on the battlefield, was idle and only for fun. "Patted all over the railing", he had an indescribable depression and depression in his chest, and slapped the railing to vent. I seem to see the eagerness and grief that Jia Xuan has nowhere to show his ambitions. Later, "no one will, Denglinyi", lamenting that he had no ambition to restore the Central Plains, and no one in the Southern Song Dynasty ruling group was his bosom friend. This kind of depression that has no way to serve the country and no place for heroes is vividly on the page. No wonder he said again, "But he will exchange 10,000 words for the owner's tree planting book"!
In fact, I often face loneliness. When I was surrounded by loneliness, I felt like I had fallen into a huge black hole, and the oppression swallowed me like a tidal wave. I was scared and helpless, so I went running. Sometimes, I keep running on the hard concrete floor, counting the "thump" sound of my feet hitting the floor, and sometimes, I choose a plastic runway and stride to measure the length of the runway. I ran, as if I could leave the loneliness far behind. After a long time, even if I change venues, I can estimate the mileage I have traveled, and I have become a "walking pedometer". Of course, I think the best way to accompany me to fight loneliness is to run and listen to a book. Putting on the headphones, I immersed myself in the world depicted by different voices, ancient or modern, far and near, real or virtual, Chinese or foreign...... "quiet on the outside, fanatical on the inside" is almost a real portrayal of me. I am glad that those places cannot be reached by foot, but the ears can reach them, and the heart can reach them easily. This year, I have listened to more than 20 novels one after another, including Chi Zijian, Chen Yan, Yu Hua, Qian Zhongshu, Jin Yinan, and Zhang Ji...... Through their work, I seem to have discovered their tricks to combat loneliness. I will share the joys and sorrows and joys with the protagonist in the book. So much so that I felt: "Lonely, but not necessarily lonely." ”
So, being lonely once in a while isn't a bad thing.
☆ About author:Deng Xianxu, a former sailor, now lives in Zhuhai.
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Editor: Yi Shusheng