Zeng Shiqiang said: "Children are the continuation of the family, and they are also the fate that crosses the cycle of life and death. ”
Although the process of raising children will have the chickens and dogs jumping on homework, the rebellious helplessness of adolescence, and it will also be mixed with tears and exhaustion, but more laughter and happiness.
During this period of children's development, parents and children are always giving to each other.
We provide nutrients for our children, and children shine sunlight for us, nourish each other, grow together, and complete their own life mission.
In a person's life, we have to experience three crossings with our children, and these three baptisms of life are like three bridges, connecting us closely and achieving each other.
Source: Visual China
The first time: the arrival of the child, giving you strength
Grandma Moses once said:
In the whole process of giving birth to a small life, you will feel the miracle of life, and you will gain unprecedented great power.
Especially when a pair of immature little hands hold one of your fingers, the feeling of being completely dependent and trusted can make you feel the strength of yourself and give you the courage to achieve self-transformation growth.
The child's innocent smile and innocent eyes seem to have a magical power, which can always dispel the haze and give us strength like sunshine:
After a busy day, the child called "Mom and Dad", and all the fatigue was instantly cured;
In the triviality of chicken feathers, the laughter of children will rekindle your passion;
When the pressure increases or the work does not go well, think about the child, and you can be resurrected with full blood......
Nobel laureate Jimenez once sighed:
It was in the process of accompanying his son Rodrigo to grow up that the child's innocence and tenacious vitality inspired him to create the sensational "Little Silver and Me".
When a new life comes to this family, we not only change our identity, but also gain a power that we have never experienced before.
This power comes from the love for our children and drives us to go beyond ourselves to create a better world.
The famous writer J.K. Rowling had a difficult life before she became famous, and just when she was about to break down and want to give up everything, the birth of her daughter inspired her determination to create the "Harry Potter" series of books, and also gave her the courage and strength to face difficulties.
The arrival of a child will stimulate our unlimited potential:
You will learn to cook a lot of healthy food for the growth of TA;
You will pick up the books again and improve yourself again and again for the sake of their learning;
You will be willing to accompany him to play a roller coaster that he has never dared to play before, only to come down and realize that "I can too".
The arrival of children makes us discover the meaning of life in the trivial daily life, gives us strength, and allows us to learn to give, tenacity and endless love.
Source: Visual China
The second time: the child's problem, let you see yourself
Many people feel that as their children grow up, their lives will be full of situations:
The child was sick for many days and did not get better, he was too naughty in kindergarten, he talked back to the teacher in elementary school, and he began to rebel in junior high school......
They begin to need more help and guidance to understand and cope with the world around them.
And as the psychologist Carl said, "The essence of education is to let parents discover their true selves." ”
Children are the closest people in the world to us, and they are also a mirror, reflecting our words and deeds at all times:
Their headaches may be rooted in their parents.
One blogger shared his experience:
Her son, Xiaojie, fell into a deep social dilemma in junior high school and was often said to be "unsociable".
At first, she thought that her son's introverted personality was a problem with the school environment, and that some classmates might isolate or bully him.
However, one day when she was sorting out her child's school bag, a line of immature and distressing words appeared in front of her:
"I was afraid to talk to others, I was afraid that I would have an argument like Mom and Dad, so I chose to stay away from the crowd and avoid conflict. ”
It turned out that during that time, she and her husband frequently argued over trivial matters.
The fierce words and emotional behavior were invisibly imprinted in the sensitive Xiaojie's heart, gradually affecting his campus life, forming an insurmountable social barrier.
Educator Krupskaya said: "For parents, the beginning of home education is self-education. ”
In life, many people blame their children for being addicted to mobile phones and computers, but they "forget" that they are always holding their mobile phones at home.
Nurturing children and nurturing themselves.
If you want your child to have a positive outlook, parents must be full of positive energy and speak for themselves;
If you want to cultivate children's ability to think independently, parents should not be opportunistic and find shortcuts;
If children are expected to be honest and trustworthy, parents must match their words with deeds.
If you want your child to have a good personality, then parents should also pay attention to their own way of behaving in the world.
It seems that parents are educating and shaping their children, and they are the leaders in their children's lives, but in fact, it is the children who are the ferrymen of their parents, helping us to clarify ourselves, improve ourselves, and become a qualified parent.
Source: Visual China
The third time: the child's growth makes you grow again
"The so-called parent-child game is just mutual nourishment, I originally thought that I had given everything for you, but in the end I found that it was I who made it perfect. ”
We often mistake children for the object of education, but the truth is that children are our teachers, and in the process of growing up, they also make us grow again.
Over time, children will have their own ideas and pursuits, but many parents are likely to be trapped by their own thinking without realizing it.
My friend Xiaomi's daughter Nini was very smart and cute when she was a child.
But when she entered primary school, she suddenly began to resist her studies, and her grades gradually declined.
Xiaomi tried various methods, including harsh discipline and material rewards, but to no avail.
She felt very confused and anxious, feeling that she had done a good job and that the child was still disobedient.
At a parent-teacher meeting, the teacher suggested that she learn more about her child's inner world and communicate more with her child.
She began to reflect on her approach to parenting and realized that she may have neglected her children's emotional needs.
Later, she began to take the initiative to participate in her children's learning and life, discussing topics of interest with her children, chatting about her experiences and feelings at school, and learning to listen to and understand her ideas.
The child's grades gradually went up, and his personality became more and more cheerful.
In this process, Xiaomi found that it was not only helping children grow, but also re-examining and completing their own growth.
She learned how to communicate effectively, how to control her emotions, and how to handle family relationships better.
The process of children growing up is also a process in which parents constantly adjust, learn and improve themselves.
Ta allows us to re-understand success: there is more than one definition of success;
It also makes us re-understand life: what our parents think must be right, and many times we have to look at the world like children.
In the process, we continue to grow into more mature and wise parents.
No longer stubborn about your own ideas, no longer negate your children's suggestions, reorganize your own concepts, and look at life from a new perspective.
Cherish every interaction with your child, refer to your child's rhythm, find your original intention, and raise yourself again.
Source: Visual China
Psychologist Wu Zhihong once said: Parents are the greatest fate of children.
Children are the nobles in the lives of their parents, and parenting is a practice, raising children and cultivating parents.
This practice is silent, but powerful, it allows parents to learn selfless dedication, know how to tolerate and accept, and experience the greatness and solemnity of life inheritance.
Parenting is not only a quiet time with children, but also a spiritual nirvana for parents.
We raise our children, and our children accompany us, and so on, and we learn from each other.
Children are not only the inheritors of life, but also our soul mates.
May we all learn to be successful as children and complete ourselves at the same time.
Author: Qingyun, use words to motivate yourself and warm the people around you at the same time. Source: Fan Book Yuan Fan Deng Reading (ID: readingclub_btfx), on the Fan Book, understand good books!