In some divorce disputes, a deeply cultivated judge can "save" a marriage after finding the crux and untying the knot.
In some divorce disputes, the judge only has the option of "leaving" after trying, giving each other the courage to start anew.
Giving each other opportunities in a timely manner and achieving targeted psychological counseling and repair is a necessary ability for family judges.
|Nothing Happens: A Broken Marriage|
In divorce disputes, the emotional line is the entry point for case mediation. After sorting out the points of disagreement and emotional cracks, and finding a breakthrough for psychological counseling, you can achieve targeted mediation.
But in this case, as soon as I got the paper, I muttered or didn't make a tune.
This is the third time that Wang Liang (pseudonym) has filed a divorce lawsuit with the court.
As a first-time judge, I am still accustomed to looking for more answers from previous cases to uncover the truth of split emotions.
Both are highly educated intellectuals, Wang Liang is a staff member of the company, and Zhao Xi (pseudonym) is a teacher at a training institution. The two met on a blind date, Zhao Xi was 35 years old when they got married, Wang Liang was 42 years old, Zhao Xi was married for the first time, and Wang Liang was married for the third time.
In the second year of marriage, the two gave birth to a daughter, Meng Meng. It was supposed to be a middle-aged mutual pity, but when his daughter was just three months old, Wang Liang filed for divorce for the first time. Subsequently, Wang Liang withdrew the lawsuit, and five years later, he sued again and withdrew the lawsuit.
Due to many factors such as children and mothers, Wang Liang chose to withdraw the first two divorce lawsuits.
There is no question of principle, and I have a preliminary judgment that this marriage has not yet reached the point of complete breakdown and must be terminated. Let's take a look at Zhao Xi's attitude.
As soon as she dialed Zhao Xi's phone, she cried uncontrollably, saying that she and Wang Liang had a very deep relationship, and in the past six years, she felt more and more that she and her children could not live without her husband and father. Wang Liang goes home every week, and the two have talked several times, and the relationship is now being repaired, and he will never divorce Wang Liang.
It seems that Wang Liang's three indictments have not changed Zhao Xi's attitude.
Zhao Xi is amorous, and if the two of them are judged before and after marriage, their temperament has changed greatly after the birth of the child, and they can't get along at all. We separated six years ago. "I called Wang Liang, but I got a categorical request for divorce.
One side is desperate to divorce, the other side is crying heartbreakingly and resolutely disagrees with the divorce, and I can't intervene at all after doing a complete job.
Lacking prerequisites, mediation ended in nothing.
|Targeted: Give each other a chance to save each other|
The first court session was scheduled on the eve of the eleventh day, and when the court was about to start, the assistant school came to me with a sad face: "Sister, Zhao Xi called and cried a lot, and did not agree to hold the court before the eleventh day, saying that he had already bought a ticket to go to other places, and he wanted to take the child and Wang Liang to celebrate the National Day together." ”
"She said to come to me with the child, or the court will be held after eleven. Wang Liang on the phone was very calm.
The more divorce disputes are handled, the crux of the problem is easy to find. Wang Liang and Zhao Xi had a short run-in time, and there were still some edges and corners that had not been smoothed.
I agreed to postpone the trial and give them another chance to salvage.
A week later, Wang Liang called me: "Let's go to court, we must get a divorce." ”
The second time the court was about to start, Zhao Xi called again, saying that her mother-in-law had been sick recently, and she was going to take care of her mother-in-law, so let's give her another chance.
Marriage is a complex body where sensibility and reason are intertwined. When one side is rational and the other side is emotional, the possibility of using the killer feature of emotion to reconcile the contradiction is almost zero.
Broken feelings that cannot be repaired.
It's finally time for the trial. The demands of the two are unswerving, one demands divorce, children, cars, houses, and deposits, and the other resolutely disagrees with divorce, and the children, cars, and houses are not allowed to be divided.
|Thanks: Gave me the courage to make a decision|
After the trial, Zhao Xi began to launch an "attack" on my phone. Every morning when the court is about to start and the court is just over in the afternoon, you can definitely receive a call from Zhao Xi that she doesn't want to divorce.
Through the phone "attack", I patiently gave her psychological counseling, let reason prevail in this divorce decision, and help her find the courage to start over.
On the one hand, there is the integrity and stability of the family, and on the other hand, there is a marriage that needs to be completely liberated.
The separation status of the two has not changed in the past 6 years, and Zhao Xi's "single mother" syndrome with a baby in Beijing alone continues to be maintained, and there is no need for this marriage to continue.
All I have left is the necessity of freeing them.
Considering that the child has been living with Zhao Xi in Beijing for many years, and has formed a stable living and educational environment, and Zhao Xi is dependent on the child, I think that letting Zhao Xi raise the child after the divorce can also better comfort the emotional damage of Zhao Xi's divorce.
At the same time, Zhao Xi has been alone with the baby for many years, and the economic contribution will be more. As a result, I ruled that the two parties should divorce, and the children should be raised by Zhao Xi, and Zhao Xi was compensated for his years of investment in the division of property.
After the verdict, Zhao Xi called me, and she was still crying. But she thanked me for my tolerance of her, for giving her the chance to save, and for giving her the courage to make a decision and the determination to let go of her "wishful thinking".
Afterword
Judges write not only judgments, but also other people's lives.
The decision is not a simple yes or no. Finding the right balance may be the key to changing the trajectory of other people's lives.
Judges need to tell the parties what is right and which is wrong within the framework of the law and even morally when they are unable to choose the court for their own redress.
Maybe it's just reparation, maybe it's getting a value judgment about misconduct, freedom in marriage, or maybe it's the courage to start over.
Contributed by: Fangshan Court
Editor: Cheng Menglin Guo Jin
Review: Zhang Lei