How to prevent children from being bullied? This family plan is best not to use, but it is necessary to know

Recently, the video feed on my phone has made me anxious and angry.

First of all, three junior high school students in Handan bullied their classmates for a long time and tortured him with cruel means, and when I think of the pain that this murdered child suffered before his death, I will be sad and unable to breathe.

His father, on the other hand, needs to participate in the entire autopsy process of the child, and infer what injuries the child suffered before death from the wound after death.

Then on August 30, 2023, the 12-year-old boy in Jingzhou, Hubei Province, who threw a 4-year-old girl into a manure pit, was released after 6 months of psychological correction and went to school normally.

It only took 6 months for the boy to start anew after deliberately killing a person, but because he was a minor, the boy's life began anew, while the family of the girl who was killed had to bear the pain of losing the child for the rest of their lives.

Immediately afterwards, I brushed up on a junior high school student in Jinan who was beaten, pulled by his hair, kicked and kicked by two classmates in the toilet, and crawled on his knees and trembled.

One bullying news incident after another, which makes people extremely angry.

I know it's a big data push, but it's what happened.

My son is going to elementary school in the second half of the year, he is an introverted and slow heater, and he can be punched and cried by girls, and I can't predict whether he will be bullied.

Therefore, I urgently need to sort out a complete set of plans to deal with school bullying and take precautions, just in case.

I also hope that all parents who read this article can work with their children to take "how to deal with school bullying" as an important family plan and keep it in mind.

What behaviors are school bullying

For how to define bullying, Huang Dongluo, an associate professor at the School of Criminology at the Chinese Public Security University, listed five types:

1. Physical bullying, such as what is seen in daily life, deliberately punching, kicking, pushing and tripping.

2. Property bullying, such as deliberately destroying children's stationery, tables, chairs and benches, and directly asking for money.

3. Verbal bullying, such as giving insulting nicknames to the other party, scolding unpleasant words, spreading rumors, and gossiping behind their backs.

4. Relationship bullying, such as forming gangs to exclude, maliciously spreading rumors, making fun of, isolating, etc., is more common in girls' groups.

5. Cyberbullying, such as swearing on the Internet, splashing dirty water, rhythmic, concocting insulting pictures and videos, and initiating malicious online voting.

Many times, we think that children are just petty fights, and that children in which era do not fight with each other? But this judgment is obviously unreasonable today.

Bullying is likely to start with the initial tentative hits, kicks, pushes, and bumps, and the bully wants to see if the bullied dares to resist, whether he will fight back, and whether he or she is bullied.

We need to help children identify which actions are bullying and which are careless, and if they are bullying, we all need to fight back in the right way to defend our boundaries.

Which children are easy targets to be bullied

Not every child is bullied, and bullies usually choose children who have the following characteristics as targets for bullying:

1. Children with obvious physical or psychological defects, who are different from other classmates, are easy to become the target of ridicule, bullying, and squeezing by bullies.

2. Children who are withdrawn, always lonely, and have no friends, such a child is not dangerous to bully, because no one will help him.

3. Children with poor family conditions, parents who have no time to take care of them, and poor learning, are prone to inferiority complex.

4. Children with thin bodies, thin and short bodies, such children look weak and have no power to fight back.

5. Children who grow up under the power and oppression of their parents, such children have not established self-boundaries since they were young, and they lack the experience of resisting the strong, and they are very cowardly.

6. Left-behind children who lack parental care and protection, these children lack protection and attention for a long time, easily feel lonely and helpless, have no sense of self-protection, and have no adults who can protect them.

7. Children who live in families with tense parent-child relationships and bad parent-child relationships, these children lack the trust and care of their parents, lack a sense of security, lack self-confidence, and are accustomed to using patience to protect themselves when they are bullied, thus becoming the long-term goal of bullies.

8. Studying well but not having friends, lack of social school bully, although this kind of child studies well, but also because he can only study, no friends, will also become the target of bullying.

But then again, if we avoid all of these problems, will the child be 100% free from bullying?

The famous CCTV host Nigmat said that he was always bullied when he was a child, and the reason for the bullying was simply because he always walked with a girl after school, and the boy who liked that girl couldn't get used to him.

It's just not used to seeing it, such a casual bullying motive.

A bully wants to bully a child, and anything can be a reason.

As the strange debater Xi Rui said, school bullying is completely illogical, and we should not find the reason from the bully.

To solve bullying incidents, it is important to strike hard at the bully, rather than educating the bullied person to solve the problem on their own.

Tackling bullying is a multi-faceted effort

Bullying mostly occurs in hidden places in schools, and the power to protect children should be the school and teachers, and if the nature of the bullying incident has violated the law, the power to protect children should be the law.

But what we actually see is that these authorities are not able to provide complete security for children.

The 12-year-old boy who threw the 4-year-old girl into the dung pit was released after only six months of correctional education because he was a minor, and went to school normally with his school bag on his back.

In the murder of three junior high school students in Handan, the school and teachers said that it was an accident, and that the relationship between the victim and the killer was very good.

A second-grade boy in Foshan, Guangdong Province, was bullied by his classmates for half a year, and his parents were kicked out of the group by the class teacher when they asked for an explanation.

Bullying incidents are not properly handled, and this end is pressed down, and the other head rises, and there is an endless stream.

Can we, as parents, not be anxious?

If the law, the school, and the teachers don't stop bullying, then parents are the child's last line of defense.

How to identify if a child is being bullied

Many children are bullied for a long time and dare not tell their parents, and some parents are only concerned about academic performance, or busy with work, and do not notice the abnormality of their children, which eventually leads to a tragic end for their children.

Therefore, parents must master the method of identifying whether their child is being bullied, and we must be vigilant when the child exhibits the following abnormal behaviors:

1. There are obvious scars on the child's body, especially the part covered by clothes, which is the most intuitive signal that the child is being bullied.

2. The child suddenly does not want to go to school, or skips school, pretends to be sick and asks for leave, and is tired of school.

3. The child's mood and personality have changed suddenly, originally happy and lively, like to talk, suddenly become sullen, irritable and fluctuating, and do not like to talk.

4. Children's stationery and other items are often damaged or lost for no reason, and the child can't tell the reason for it.

5. The child has sleep problems, often has nightmares, wakes up crying, insomnia, screams in the middle of the night, etc.

6. Children are very resistant to interpersonal communication and unwilling to socialize.

Parents know their children best and should be able to detect sudden changes and abnormal behaviors in their children, but many parents will see these help signals as children who do not want to study well and are too rebellious, thus missing the opportunity to help their children.

What parents should do if their child is being bullied

When parents find out that their child is being bullied, it means that we have to start a fierce fight with the child, which requires not only toughness, but also wisdom and strategy.

I rehearsed it in my head and came up with the following plans for dealing with bullying:

If it's an accidental beating, then take the school route to solve it.

Step 1: After expressing your support and concern for your child, calmly understand the whole context of the matter

Step 2: Find the teacher to report the situation and ask the teacher to coordinate the face-to-face communication between the two parents

Step 3: Ask the other child to apologize

If it's a bullying incident of a bad nature, such as a child who is often beaten, it's not as simple as apologizing.

Step 1: Firmly express your support and concern for your child, and record the bullying incident in detail, including the time, place, personnel, and method of bullying.

Step 2: Call the police, cooperate with the police, and if necessary, add an injury examination.

Step 3: The police will come forward to coordinate the meeting of the two parents for follow-up work, such as apologizing in public.

Step 4: Continue to pay attention to your child's dynamics to prevent your child from being bullied.

Only when the police come forward can they deter the children and parents of the other side, and also show that we do not compromise and do not settle things casually.

The comment on bullying on CCTV is: When encountering bullying of a bad nature, teachers and schools should report to the public security department and deal with it in accordance with the law.

In short, we still have to give priority to choosing legitimate and legal ways to solve bullying incidents, and if this way doesn't work, then try unconventional ways, such as... (I don't know what to say, avoid bad direction).

I have always told my son: we don't cause trouble, but we are never afraid of it, if you are bullied, tell your parents as soon as possible, and we will do everything we can to protect you.

How to prevent your child from being bullied

Prevention must be the first priority, and we can't wait until our children are bullied to start reflecting on the loopholes in family education.

How to prevent children from being bullied? Here are 5 ways we need to keep doing it:

1. We should maintain a good parent-child relationship with our children, take time out to chat with our children every day, understand their children's life, learning, social and other conditions at school.

2. We can simulate training with our children at home, play possible bullying scenarios, and teach children how to fight back with a firm tone in the face of bullying, and how to make body movements without fear of holding their heads up.

3. It is necessary to cultivate children's self-confidence, support children to participate in their favorite activities, help children develop their own strengths, and let children develop self-confidence and a sense of value in what they like to do and can do.

4. Let children continue to insist on physical exercise, and children who regularly exercise physical exercise should maintain a positive, sunny and cheerful sense of strength from physical appearance to temperament.

5. Pay attention to the development of children's social skills, so that children have better popularity and good friends in the group.

[Written at the end]

I hope that our country's laws and regulations on bullying and juvenile punishment and responsibility will become more and more perfect, and I hope that schools and teachers can attach great importance to bullying incidents, and hope that every child can stay away from bullying.