In 1994, I went to India to learn dance and found my lifelong teacher

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Aizhe Press:

In 2012, during my trip to India, I saw a classical dance performance at the India International Center. I was deeply moved by that performance, and the dancer's eyes, gestures and postures perfectly illustrated the art of body language. I took a lot of pictures at the time, and the day I met Sansan, I showed her the pictures. Shanshan pointed to the musicians playing next to her and said, "These musicians are also the musicians who accompanied me when I came out of the premiere.

A particularly wonderful fate.

Shanshan is a native of Beijing and has been dancing Indian dance since she was a child. The story of the pursuit of Indian dance that she is going to tell today is actually a very classical story of apprenticeship.

I say classical because today, it is becoming more and more difficult for us to see such a master-apprentice relationship, and it is less and less common to see such a persistent pursuit of art.

Below, is Shanshan's story

-1-

I learned to dance from an early age

My name is Jin Shanshan, born in the 70s, and I am a Chinese dancer who does Indian classical dance.

In the late '70s and early '80s, our country introduced a number of Indian films, such as Wanderers and Caravans, which caused a particularly big stir. At that time, everyone was wearing trumpeted legs, wearing shawl hair, carrying tape recorders, singing Abalagu, and I was deeply immersed in it. At that time, I was not very old, and I loved singing and dancing. When my children were playing hide and seek and dancing rubber bands, I would put a veil on my head from time to time and make up an Indian dance by myself, choreographing, singing and dancing by myself.

In 83, the Oriental Song and Dance Troupe established an art tutoring center, recruiting students from the society for the first time to teach oriental dance from Asian, African and Latin American countries.

I was 8 years old at the time, and I started learning Indian dance after passing the exam and getting to know Mr. Zhang Jun. Mr. Zhang Jun is the originator of Indian dance in China and the first person to bring Indian dance to China.

Before the establishment of the Oriental Song and Dance Troupe, it was still a dance class, and Teacher Zhang Jun was the head teacher of this dance class, and then she led the students of this class to follow Premier Zhou and Vice Premier Chen Yi to Myanmar to participate in the Bandung Conference. At that time, the People's Republic of China had just been founded, and we were opening up diplomatic channels, and art was equivalent to a bridge of diplomacy to help us establish diplomatic relations. At that time, they rehearsed dances from many countries such as Myanmar and Sri Lanka, and their performances were a huge success.

Every time we dance a country's dance, the leader of that country stands up and takes the lead in applauding. After that performance, Premier Zhou decided to establish the Oriental Song and Dance Troupe, so he left all the actors. At that time, our teachers were all dancers of various schools, and Zhang Jun was one of China's leading Indian dance experts.

When I was a child, I had big eyes and dark skin. My initiation teacher, Ms. Su, may also think that I look a bit like an Indian, and secondly, I have built up my self-confidence in the process of studying. Slowly, she was transferred from the last row to the middle of the first row. Jumping and jumping, 4 years have passed.

Fast forward to 1987, when we learned a dance called "Alarip", which was the first part of a system of Bharatana's dance performances. "Alarip" is a Sanskrit word that means "lotus flower in full bloom". This dance starts with moving the eyes, then moving the shoulders and arms, plus the waist movements of the upper body and the movements of the feet, it looks like a lotus flower blooming layer by layer.

At that time, there were 5 children dancing together, and I was the lead dancer in the middle, and Teacher Su said to me, "You should practice Alaripu well, and wait for Teacher Zhang Jun to come back from India to show her." So it became a goal for me at the time. For this goal, I even forgot to sleep and eat a little, and practiced desperately. In addition to eating and sleeping, I practice all kinds of exercises in front of the mirror.

In the blink of an eye, it was time to report on the performance, and I still remember the scene: we were doing makeup in the backstage dressing room, and at this time, Mr. Zhang Jun walked in and asked, "Who dances the lead dance of Alarip?" and then Ms. Su introduced me to her, "This is Shanshan, she can dance the lead dance." Teacher Zhang looked at me and said, "Dance, I'll watch it later." 」

Actually, I was quite confident in this dance, but when the teacher said this, I became very nervous. So much so that my mind was so blank that I didn't even know how I jumped off that show. After the dance, I was very nervous and waited for Mr. Zhang Jun to come in and evaluate. But unfortunately, I didn't wait for Teacher Zhang Jun to come, she left before she got backstage.

For the next few days, I was in a state of disappointment, but a little expecting what she had to say about me. Finally, I couldn't wait, so I called Mr. Su, and I said, "What did Mr. Zhang Jun say about me?" Mr. Su said, "Mr. Zhang Jun thinks you are a little old, she has a crush on another student, a 9-year-old girl, and she decided to take that girl as an apprentice. 」

As I tell this story now, I can still feel the hairs on my body part.

What follows is a very interesting story. I remember it was a summer vacation, and I was still at the art tutoring center, and I would often rehearse some shows and go to various places to perform. We were in the rehearsal hall on the first floor of the Oriental Song and Dance Troupe, and Mr. Zhang Jun took the 9-year-old girl, her name is Lin Ping, to teach her hand-in-hand in the rehearsal hall on the second floor.

When I sat in the rehearsal hall on the first floor to rehearse, my heart had already flown to the second floor. When I saw them, I hurriedly ran to the second floor, looked in through a small window, and saw that the teacher taught Lin Ping hand-in-hand, explaining it so meticulously, I couldn't stand it. Tears then burst out, I turned my head and ran to the first floor to sit down, pretending to be calm, but my heart couldn't sit still, and then I ran to the second floor, and then I couldn't stand it, and then ran back and forth to the second floor many times.

When I was 13 years old, it was not good to experience this feeling of being eliminated and my dreams being extinguished, but the hope in my heart was never extinguished, I had to find a way, I had to learn.

One day, I met Teacher Zhang Jun in the corridor, and she came up to me, so I had the courage to ask, "Teacher Zhang, can I sit next to Lin Ping when you teach Lin Ping?" Unexpectedly, Teacher Zhang Jun readily agreed, "No problem, you can come." 」

So from then on, Lin Ping jumped in the middle, and I sat next to me and watched. If there's a little hope, I'm going to fight for it. Looking back now, I feel that I was really tenacious at that time.

At that time, after Lin Ping's parents sent her to the Oriental Song and Dance Troupe by bicycle, they still needed to sit here and wait for her to go to class, and then take her home by bicycle after class. When I found out, I told her parents, "You don't have to send Lin Ping in the future, I will ride a bicycle to your house every day to pick her up and send her to class, anyway, I have to sit and watch the class." After class, I'll send her back. 」

Lin Ping's parents were very happy to hear it, so I took over the task of picking up Lin Ping on my own, and I had a reason to sit in the classroom and watch the class, which took about two or three months to go back and forth.

At that time, Lin Ping learned Bharata dance.

There are many schools of classical dance in India, but the Bharata dance is the most representative, it has the longest history and the most distinct Indian characteristics. At that time, I could not have imagined that Bharatana's dance would stay with me for the rest of my life and become a very important event in my life.

At that time, I didn't have a chance to stand up and jump, and I didn't dare to stand up and jump. But I was really eager to learn, so I took what I saw in my head and went home and practiced it myself.

Then Mr. Zhang Jun opened another dance class called "Odisi", which is a dance in eastern India, which is very feminine and feminine. When Mr. Zhang Jun first started teaching this dance, I was still in the seat of a spectator. At that time, some professional actors of the Oriental Song and Dance Troupe would also participate, including actors from the China Coal Mine Art Troupe, as well as Lin Ping.

One day, Mr. Zhang Jun suddenly looked back at me and said, "Shanshan, if you want to jump, you can jump behind." I had a chance to get up and walk to the back and jump.

As a result, when I jumped, Mr. Zhang Jun was surprised, including all the actors, because they didn't expect that I could do all the movements, and I was no worse than others. They didn't know that I was secretly practicing when I went home, and Mr. Zhang Jun didn't expect that I was a person who was stealing art.

In 1990, after studying for a period of time, another girl and I were very fortunate to be selected by Mr. Zhang Jun to participate in the Oriental Song and Dance Troupe's Dunhuang Comparison Evening in India. As an amateur student, I participated in the official performance of the Oriental Song and Dance Troupe, and it was also at that performance that I received a lot of positive comments.

Once, when we were rehearsing in the house, some of the performers from the Oriental Song and Dance Troupe came to see us, and I went out to get a bottle of water, and a group of actors came around and said, "This is this little girl, you see how she looks, she doesn't look like she is learning Otsi, she is dancing like a local, she looks like an Indian." 」

At that time, I got a lot of other similar reviews.

-2-

Go to Peking University for Hindi

Later, the head of the troupe, Wang Kun, wanted Shanshan, but because of the transfer of personnel, Wang Kun no longer served as the head of the troupe, and the matter was over, and Shanshan and the Oriental Song and Dance Troupe missed each other.

In the blink of an eye, in the third year of high school, once Shanshan participated in a summer camp for art students at Peking University, in that summer camp, Shanshan danced Indian dance, and was lucky to get the opportunity to enter Peking University without examination. But at that time, there were only four departments at Peking University where students with artistic specialties could choose from for interviews, and these were not Shanshan's interests. What she wants to achieve is to be able to dance Indian dance in the future. So Shanshan moved the idea of giving up Peking University and going to Beijing Dance Academy. But after learning about the situation, it was found that the Beijing Dance Academy did not have a class of Indian dance that year.

At this time, Mr. Zhang Jun gave me a guideline, which really guided my life path. She talked to me in particular, and said, "Shanshan, I think you want to go to Peking University, you can go to the Department of Oriental Language and Culture. If you want to learn Hindi and Indian culture, you can study abroad in India in the future, continue to study dance, and become an expert in Indian culture. But if you choose to go to the Beijing Dance Academy, you might come out as a dancer or a dance teacher, but that's about it. 」

This was the path that Mr. Zhang Jun pointed me out at that time, and I thought what she said was particularly reasonable, so I gave up my dream of Beijing Dance Academy.

I remember that I was still a senior in high school at the time, and one day, I didn't ask my teacher for leave, so I took a bus to Peking University.

I got out of the car at the east gate and asked all the way, "Where is the Eastern Language Department of Peking University?"

They said to me, "The Eastern language is at the West Gate. 」

When I went to the Department of Hindi and asked, "I want to find Mr. Zhang Shuanggu, the director of the Hindi major," he said to me, "Mr. Zhang Shuanggu is teaching at the first class now." One is taught at the east gate. 」

So I walked back to the east gate. Before I could teach, the bell rang and everyone left. I went to the first class, but I didn't find Mr. Zhang Shuanggu, it was already noon, and I was tired and annoyed.

As I walked on the road, I cried as I walked, "Why is it so difficult? Why can't I find Mr. Zhang Shuanggu?!"

Later, I called Mr. Zhang Jun, and I said that I wanted to find Mr. Zhang Shuanggu, but I just couldn't find him. Teacher Zhang Jun said, "Don't worry, I'll give him a call. 」

Because Zhang Jun and Zhang Shuanggu are both very senior professors in the Indian cultural circle, they know each other. Then Mr. Zhang Jun called back after a while and said, "I told Mr. Zhang Shuanggu that he asked you to come to the department at 3 p.m. to find him. 」

I arrived at the department at 3 p.m. and finally met the legendary teacher Zhang Shuanggu. Teacher Zhang Shuanggu said to me, "Teacher Zhang Jun called me, you know so much about Indian dance and Indian culture, I am personally willing to accept you, and we are also willing to recruit students like you. But I still have to apply with the department, after all, I still have to take your file from the admissions office, it must be approved by the school, I can't take your file casually, so you go back and wait for news first. 」

Then I just went back and waited for news. A week later, I received a call from Mr. Zhang Shuanggu, who asked me to come to the Department of Oriental Languages for an interview. This interview with me is the leader of the Hindi language world, Professor Jin Dinghan, who is a particularly powerful master in the Hindi language world. Then he interviewed me quite interestingly, asked me a lot about literature, asked about the Book of Poetry, talked about the general knowledge of governance, talked about the four famous works, etc., and I answered with the only bit of knowledge I had.

But it's okay, especially when we talk about the four famous novels and talk about the Dream of Red Mansions, because I am a fan of the Dream of Red Mansions, I read through the Dream of Red Mansions many times when I was in junior high school, and I talked a lot about the poems in the Dream of Red Mansions with Mr. Jin Dinghan. He thought I had literary skills. We also talked about Indian culture, and in the end he was satisfied and decided that I could enter the Department of Oriental Languages.

-3-

Apply to study abroad

In 1991, Shanshan went to Peking University. From the first day she entered Peking University, Shanshan was thinking about finding an opportunity to study in India. In her sophomore year, she began to put it into action.

In 1992, I applied to study in India.

I first consulted with Mr. Zhang Shuanggu, because after Mr. Zhang interviewed me, he was seconded to the National Education Commission to become an education officer in India, so he was in charge of me.

He said, "I'll introduce you to a person in charge of the Department of Asian and African Affairs of the State Education Commission, and you can ask him if he can apply. However, there is indeed a clear rule that undergraduates are not allowed to be sent abroad. 」

So I approached the teacher and I said, "I'm really eager to study in India because I'm learning languages now, but I want to learn dance even more." He said that you should submit an application to Peking University first, and if Peking University can submit it, we will see if it can be approved. If Peking University doesn't hand it to you, we can't do anything about it. I can only have a try-and-see attitude.

But after I handed over this application, it was lost, and there was no news for half a year.

Then I went to the head of the department and asked him what the current situation of my application to study in India was, and he told me, "Now the country has a clear rule that undergraduates cannot be sent abroad, so this application is now pressed on me, and I can't submit it to the school." Hand it over, and the school's foreign affairs office will call me back. 」

Then I had the courage to say something like this: "Actually, I have found the person in charge of the Department of Asian and African Affairs of the State Education Commission, and he means that if Peking University can hand it over, they can approve it." 」

In fact, people didn't give me a particularly positive statement, and they didn't necessarily give me approval, but I thought that I would definitely have to hand it over first to have this possibility.

As a result, when the head of the department heard me say this, he replied, "Since you already know the people over there, okay, I'll pass it to the school." Unexpectedly, as soon as it was handed over to the study abroad office of Peking University, it was approved. And then, starting with me, the undergraduates of Peking University opened the way to be sent abroad. At that time, there were more than 20 minor languages in the Department of Eastern Languages of Peking University, including Korean, Japanese, Burmese, Southeast Asian, and other language departments, and undergraduates could be sent abroad one after another.

-4-

Went to India to apprentice

But as soon as our application for study abroad was approved, there was an outbreak of plague in India, the scale of which was equivalent to SARS in our country at that time, and then all flights were suspended. As a result, we waited for half a year, so we actually went to India to study in 1994.

I remember it was late at night on the day I arrived in India. The next morning, as soon as we came out of the guest house, we saw that all the trees were so green, the sky was so blue, and the sun was shining on the lawn, and people were lying on the lawn drinking tea, which was very pleasant. Cows walked leisurely beside them, squirrels all over the ground, and green parrots on the trees. At that moment, I realized that I had arrived in a different country, and it was really different.

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Photo / Shanshan studied in India for the first time in 95

When I arrived in India, after settling in Nehru University, I started looking for my Indian dance. At that time, Teacher Zhang Jun asked me to bring gifts to her two teachers, so that I could be a messenger of gifts, which could be regarded as a bridge for me to have the opportunity to meet these masters.

There is also a synopsis, that is, Mr. Zhang Jun came back from India and brought back a book, which is a book about Indian classical dance, the author of this book is called Leela Samson (Leela Samson), a Bharatanat dancer, and there are many beautiful stills in the book. I couldn't put this book down, and I borrowed it for a long time before returning it to Mr. Zhang Jun. At that time, I fell in love with the Bharatanat dance artist Lila Samson and thought to myself, "When I go to India, I must learn from her." So from that moment on, the foreshadowing was already laid.

When I arrived in India, I gave gifts to two teachers, Birju Maharaj, the king of Kathak, and Lila Samson, a master of Bharata's dance. Teacher Maharaj was a man and Teacher Lila was a woman, and she was in her early 40s at the time.

Two teachers, I want to meet Lila first, because I have fallen in love with her since the teacher's book. But unfortunately, she was not at home and went abroad to perform, so I had to leave the gift at her home.

Then I went to see Maharaj, the king of Kathak, in the afternoon, and he was very happy when I met him, and when he knew that I was a student of Mr. Zhang Jun, he asked me to go up and dance for a while. After the dance, he said, "Why don't you be my student, you can come to class tomorrow." 」

At that time, there was also a teacher from the Dance Research Institute, who was also familiar with the masters, and he said to me, "Shanshan, hurry up, the master said that he wants to take you as an apprentice, so hurry up and give the teacher a foot touch. 」

Maharaj is the king of the Karthak, and he is a god-like being in India.

This has to mention another classical dance called the Kathak. The Qatak dance is a popular dance in northern India, and this dance has been integrated with Islamic culture during its development, so it is a combination of Hinduism and Islam. The Kathak is a family dance, and the grandfather of the mahara's guitar was a royal entertainer in the Muslim court. His uncle and father all danced for the king, so Maharaj followed his elders to dance for the king in the court since he was three years old, so he is a very powerful representative of the development of Kathak dance.

I was still learning Hindi, and every day after classes at Nehru University, I took the school bus for more than an hour into the city to learn Kathak at the Katak Center. After school, it was dark, and I took the bus all the way back to school, and I often didn't have time for dinner, so I had to eat two bites with my hands.

But my longing for Lila-sensei has never been extinguished. All along, the Bharata dance was an unfulfilled dream in my heart.

And Lila-sensei, the first time I saw her, I fell in love with her. After looking at her photos, you know how beautiful she is, not only the beauty of her appearance, but also her charm from the inside out.

In the blink of an eye, it's June again. At that time, Ms. Zhang Jun was visiting India with a delegation, because she was going to other places, please ask me to help her send a gift to Ms. Lila.

 ■ Picture / Bharata dance tutorial taught by teacher Zhang Jun, Shanshan demonstration performance

So I became a gift messenger again, and I called Teacher Lila, and she said you came to me at the Russian Cultural Center, and that day she was giving the first solo dance to a Russian boy.

Explain what the premiere solo ceremony is. Indian classical dance is very systematic, and it will take you about 6 years to complete a complete set of performances, and then you can be led by the teacher himself to do a complete set of performances. That's when you transformed into an actor. Before, you were just a student, and students were not allowed to perform on stage alone, so the premiere ceremony was a ceremonial process. And this premiere must be your Guru, your teacher personally accompaniment you.

When I was watching the premiere of the Russian boys, I sat in the far corner of the first row, in a seat opposite Mr. Lila.

The boy jumped in the middle of a while, but forgot to move, and stood on the stage and looked at the teacher in a daze. The teacher gave him a smile and reminded him little by little, making gestures to remind him, while motioning to the musicians next to him to slow down the pace of the music. The boy slowly remembered and then continued to jump. Their eye contact with each other and the care of the teacher, this tacit understanding, coupled with the boy's very shy appearance, I think this kind of selfless and innocent relationship between teachers and students is very beautiful.

Seeing her interaction with the boy, I thought to myself how happy I would be if I could be this student one day.

During the intermission, Ms. Lila suddenly turned to look at me and greeted me. My heart was pounding, and I wondered, "How did she know I was coming for her?" Then she called me and said, "Please close the door for me." I said, "OKOK," and closed the door.

After the performance, I went to Lila and gave her a gift from Ms. Zhang Jun. I was so nervous that I was stumbling to use all the Indian and English I had learned, and I was able to use all the words I knew. As soon as I was done, I rushed out of the crowd and walked back, and as I walked, I suddenly realized that I had forgotten the most important thing.

So I went back to the theater again, and by this time she was already backstage, and I called her, and she looked back and said, "Why are you back again?"

I shuddered and said, "I forgot to tell you: I said I wanted to learn from you. 」

Ms. Lila was smiling at first, but after listening to me, she suddenly became very serious and said, "I don't teach foreign students. 」

She rejected me, turned around and left, leaving me alone.

Three months later, by chance, Sansa found out that Ms. Lila was teaching at a school. Shanshan signed up for the school's course. But after she went, she found out that the classes in this class were all beginners, and many of them were children. Teacher Lila also doesn't come over often, and most of the time it's the teaching assistant who is in the class.

Sansa quickly became the best student in the school, and she looked forward to seeing Lila at school every day.

Finally, one day, Sansa meets with Ms. Lila on an occasion, and Lila tells her that she will come to school the following Tuesday.

So by the next Tuesday, I started my ascetic practice again. In addition to eating and sleeping, I practiced in front of the mirror, and at that time I practiced until I was a little stunned, and sitting on the bus was more than hand-to-hand.

Indian dance is all about expressions and gestures, and sometimes I am alone in my own world, and when I open my eyes, I see the person opposite me looking at me in amazement.

It's next Tuesday, and all of our students are meticulously warming up. Teacher Lila and her TA sat right in front of us and watched us warm up. Just as he was about to salute and start the lesson, the principal of the school opened the door and called Teacher Lila away. She didn't come back until we got out of class.

The TA left after the class, but I knew that Lila didn't leave because her bag was still in the classroom. So I decided that I would not leave, but would stay here and wait for her.

All the students were gone, the lights were dimmed, and I was sitting on the top of the stairs. After waiting for her for more than an hour, she came down from above with the teaching assistant. She was surprised to see me sitting there, and she said, "Why haven't you left yet?"

I said, I want to talk to you.

Then she said she was going to an event with the TA and now she had to go, "You can come to my house tomorrow afternoon." Before I could react, the teaching assistant was very excited and said, "Do you hear me?" tomorrow at 3 p.m., Aga will let you go to his house, and we called her Aga, which means teacher or sister in South Indian language.

At 3 p.m. the next day, I arrived at Teacher Lila's house. That's when I realized that the best dancers, the older students, were all in her home, and the younger ones were in school.

This kind of master-apprentice relationship in India is very similar to the relationship between our pear orchards or private schools in China. Traditionally, students go to the teacher's house to learn from the teacher, and they have to live in the teacher's house and live with the teacher.

When I went, the teacher hadn't come down yet, and all the students were quietly warming up, and none of them dared to speak loudly. I'll just warm up with everyone.

After a while, Teacher Lila came down. She writes first and ignores me. It was a long time before she looked up at me and said, "What did you want to talk to me about yesterday?"

I said, "I want to learn from you. She said, "I'll see what you know first, and then you follow the lesson." 」

So I took a class with everyone, and that's when I realized how shaky my foundation was. I've been studying for many years, and I'm not professionally trained after all, so my basic movements seem to be very light compared to others.

After the class, the teacher didn't tell me anything, and I didn't ask. In the next class, I came again, and I acquiesced that she agreed to accept me as a student, and she didn't deny me. I continued to follow her for almost a month, and that month was a very happy month for me.

I sat in her classroom as if I was in a paradise, with the sun shining and the birds chirping, and the flowers blooming, and I looked forward to class every day.

The teacher would change a sari every day. For a month, she hadn't worn a heavy sari, all of which were different colors and textures. She walked down from the upper floor every day with a rhythmic instrument, like a fairy descending to earth.

When she was lecturing, I felt like I was frozen. Watching her sit at the front of the classroom and speak, it was a beauty that cannot be described in words, so I have been very happy this month, and I have made a lot of progress.

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Photo / Shanshan and her Indian classmates take a break after dance class

-5-

There is a misunderstanding with Lila-sensei

After this month, some ups and downs began.

On one occasion, we went for three days in a row to see some of India's top artists perform. On the first day Maharaj, the king of the Kathak, on the second day it was Matwi Mdagar, the head of the Odissi school, and on the third day it was the Bharata dance of Lila Teacher.

At that time, Teacher Lila didn't know that I had studied Kathak, and Kathak didn't know that I had gone to study Bharata now.

But in India there is a rule that you can't study two schools at the same time, and you can't study with two teachers at the same time. When choosing a teacher, you have to start from the beginning to the end, and you can't jump around. That's why teachers are most concerned about foreign students – they want to learn everything.

But I'm a new foreign student, and I don't know. It wasn't until I asked for Lila to be my teacher that I was reminded that I couldn't study Kathak anymore. I should have withdrawn from Kartak and joined Bharata again. But I didn't know how to tell Maharaj, I could only say, "I'm going back to my country and I can't go to class." As an excuse, I had to lie to him.

But when the King of Kathak performed that day, everyone saw me. So I had to explain to Maharaj that I was going back to China, but I hadn't left yet.

But when I got backstage and saw Maharaj, he was very happy because he liked me very much as a student. Maharaj put his hand on top of my head and gave me a blessing, and then I gave him a foot touch.

In India, it is a very common etiquette for students to touch their teachers' feet, and we do it every day in class. But just as I was touching Maharaj's feet, I saw Teacher Lila walk in with my peripheral vision, and I quickly stood up. Then she walked straight in front of me and started talking to Maharaj without even looking at me. I quit silently.

I think she must have seen that I had studied Kathak, or something else. So I secretly decided that on the third day, when Lila was performing, I would have to dress up and wear a sari to give her a good touch.

On that day, I put on makeup and came in a saree. As a result, after the performance, I was not able to touch Lila's feet. Because she was surrounded by interviews, I kept waiting there, but I never waited for the opportunity. In the end, because the school bus was about to run out, I was pulled away by my classmates.

After this incident, Lila-sensei misunderstood me.

-6-

An effort to get to the last class

Fast forward to October 1995, when the Indian Council for Cultural Relations (ICCR) organized a grand performance to bring together the folk cultures of various countries. At that time, the Chinese embassy in India signed up for Shanshan and asked her to bring a Dai dance performance. So Shanshan had to go to ICCR rehearsals a lot during that time.

One day, Lila said that she was going to Chennai in southern India for a music and dance season, and that she would come back in two or three months, and that tomorrow would be her last class before leaving. But coincidentally, this day was also the last rehearsal for the ICCR, and the next day it was due to be performed.

In December, as my visa was about to expire, I submitted an extension application. But ICCR didn't grant my extension application, so by December, I had to go back home.

And because Teacher Lila is going out to participate in activities next, this is my last class.

But the ICCR said, "You are not allowed to go, you have to rehearse." 」

I remember when I asked for leave, the officials at the time were very stern, and I said, "I said I had something to do and couldn't come in the afternoon. He said, "If you don't come, you'll be disqualified." 」

I got angry, and I said, "If you cancel, you cancel, I can't come anyway." This afternoon is my last class, can't I even have my last class?"

As I spoke, tears came out. When the official saw this, he was stunned for a moment and said, "Go ahead, you are the only one who can be absent from the rehearsal." 」

I immediately took a motorcycle tricycle and drove all the way to Teacher Lila's house. By the time they entered the teacher's house, they had already started their lessons. But because I didn't have time to go back to school to change my clothes, I was still wearing a black practice suit for Chinese dance.

老师看到我说 「I'm not happy，you are dancing with this。 你不能穿这件衣服上婆罗多舞课。 」

I said, "I just went to a rehearsal, and I don't have time to change anymore. 」

Teacher Lila: "That's not going to work, you don't have to go to class. 」

I said, "Shall I go back and change my clothes?"

Teacher Lila: "No one can wait for you. 」

I said, "Then I'm not jumping, can I sit and watch?"

She said, "There's no place to sit, so let's go." 」

Because I've been through enough before, I really didn't cry at the time.

Every time I got into these difficult times, I seemed to become more tenacious, and I didn't believe in evil.

Later, I went back to ICCR to participate in the performance, but I didn't expect my Dai dance to be particularly successful. At the end of the performance, the audience was shouting China, China. At that time, there was also a selection for the best program, and I won a gold award.

And two days after the performance, ICCR called me and told me that my extension application was approved and that my scholarship could be extended for another year.

I am especially pleased. But then my brother said to me, "You don't want to learn Hindi anymore, you just want to dance, right? If so, you should transfer your Hindi scholarship to Bharata, otherwise you'll have to pay for the dance yourself." But as long as your mentor signs it, you can transfer the scholarship to Bharata Dance. 」

So I called Ms. Lila, and at first she was happy to say "yes?" when she picked up the phone, and when she heard who I was, she noticeably lowered her voice.

But when I mentioned that the ICCR had agreed to extend my visa and that I wanted to transfer my scholarship to Bharatana, I could clearly sense that Lila was still angry, and she said, "Don't tell me anything about you, whether it's your scholarship or which school you're going to, it doesn't matter to me. He hung up the phone.

Then she went out for the music season, and I went back to my dorm. But during that period of time, I also settled down.

There were no dance classes, and the school was on vacation, so I read a lot of books in the dormitory by myself. Because in addition to dancing, we also have to learn theory. There is a book called Dance Theory, which is a book on theater, music, and dance that matured 2,000 years ago. There are many parts of the dance we dance now that we have to memorize the dance theory, such as the use of the names of various gestures, the use of eye movements, the use of the head, and the various steps...... The whole section is categorized and summarized in a particularly systematic way, so we have to memorize it.

And how hard is that for me, it's Sanskrit. To figure out a word, I first have to translate from Chinese to English, then to Hindi, and finally to Sanskrit. So, during that time, I really sank down and read some books.

-7-

Improve the relationship with Lila-sensei

Later, Teacher Lila returned. At this stage, our relationship is that I greet her, I am transparent in her eyes, she can't see me at all, even when we sit facing each other.

Then something particularly interesting happened.

We had a theory class every Friday, and one day, she talked about a poem about dance performance.

Teacher Lila asks the group, who can tell me what "Sudwigham" means? The teacher began to ask by name, but no one knew. When I finally came to me, I could clearly sense that Teacher Lila was hesitating, but she probably felt that she still had to ask, so she nodded at me. I was pleasantly surprised to find that I had studied the word during that period of precipitation, so I answered the question in Hindi "Sadvigam" is actually the true feeling of the heart, dance is not only the body movements, but also the sound and the costumes, etc., among which, the most important thing is the true feeling in your heart.

When I finished answering, I could tell that Ms. Lila was surprised. She immediately turned to her classmates and said, "Look at who answered this question? Don't you feel shy about a foreigner explaining your culture in your language?"

After that, Shanshan clearly felt that Teacher Lila's attitude towards her was changing.

But Shanshan still has no confidence, feeling more like she is skipping classes here every day. One more thing, because Shanshan did not attend classes regularly during that time, Teacher Lila has never charged Shanshan's tuition.

In March 1996, when I had extended my study abroad for more than three months, I suddenly received a letter from Peking University. Because I am about to graduate, Peking University makes me have to go back.

Before I left, I had my last class at that dance school, and a really nice friend asked me, "What have you learned in more than a year?"

I said, "I've gained a lot, made a lot of friends, and learned a lot. But my only regret is that I didn't become a student of Lila-sensei. 」

She said, "Do you know what Teacher Lila has to say about you?"

I said, "Teacher Li can still evaluate me, I think I'm worthless in her eyes, she's so angry with me. 」

She told me that Teacher Lila said, "One of the greatest strengths of Isha (my Indian name) is that she pays special attention to every word the teacher says in class, so when the teacher corrects someone else's movements, this mistake will not be made to her again. The other thing is that I'm very sincere, and if I can stay in India for a long time, she will definitely teach me. But these foreign students are jumping around.

On the first day I returned home, I went to see Teacher Lila. I feel like it was a day I will never forget.

I remember it was spring and the sun was shining. Ms. Lila lives in the community of the Asian Games Village, her house has a small garden, and sometimes when we get out of class, we see Ms. Lila holding a flower shovel in the sun, taking care of her plants.

On that day, I didn't make an appointment with the teacher in advance and said that I was going to quit. When I walked into the teacher's room, she was sitting there drinking tea with another student, and she wasn't surprised to see me, and the teacher probably wanted to ease my nervousness, and she said why don't you go and make yourself a cup of tea?

When I came out with my tea, my teacher finally smiled at me. I once wrote a blog called "Angels Show Smiling Faces", and my heart melted at once, and I realized that the teacher had accepted me.

I told her I was going back the next day. She especially didn't understand, "If you like to learn Bharata dance, why don't you apply for a Bharata scholarship?"

I said you don't understand, because I don't have a place in China to study Bharata, I studied Hindi at Peking University, so I applied for a Hindi scholarship. I had no choice but to follow the path of culture and language, and then come to India to study dance.

Then Teacher Lila told me to go back and practice hard and come back as soon as possible after my graduation ceremony.

When I got back I wrote a letter to her and I asked, "If the next time I come back and I concentrate on learning Bharata, will you take me in?"

The letter had been lost for months, but she received it, and she replied to me on March 3, "You should come back as soon as possible. 」

She means I'll teach you. But the next time I came back was 1998, two years apart.

After graduating from Peking University, like most of her classmates, Shanshan found a job, joined a foreign company as a white-collar worker, and worked in a Japanese pharmaceutical company. Although the salary is generous, it is also appreciated by the boss. But Sansa knew that she couldn't let go of her love for Bharatana. So after working for less than two years, she decided to quit her job and go back to India to learn dance from Lila. At that time, the Indian embassy also offered Shanshan a scholarship, but Shanshan was worried that if she won the scholarship, she might be assigned to study with another teacher. So she gave up her scholarship and took the savings she had saved from working in a foreign company to go to India at her own expense to find Teacher Lila.

When I came back to India, I felt a little guilty about me, because she felt that the year I had been here had been wasted, and she saw my sincerity. So it took her a year to teach me 6 years of course.

A lot of people have told me, including my Indian classmates, "Sometimes the teacher will test you to see if you really want to learn, if you are sincere. 」

I felt that after that time I went back, I was put to the test, so she really taught me wholeheartedly.

During that time, I practiced with two other classmates and Lila alone at 8 a.m. every morning, and I also attended all the afternoon classes.

When it came time for the music and dance season, she would take me to Chennai to perform, so it was a very rewarding year. And since Lila's relationship with me has improved, she will introduce me to her students because she is very proud of me and very positive about my dance. Sometimes, she would say, "I don't know how this person came to my life. 」

-8-

The first solo dance ceremony of the graduation ceremony

In 1999, I told my teacher that I might be going back to China.

Teacher Lila suddenly asked me, "Why don't you finish the solo debut ceremony before leaving?" At that time, there was only one month left before I returned to China.

At that time, my classmates all cast envious glances. Because they've been studying for many years, they haven't had a premiere yet, and I'm probably the one who has been studying the least time.

■ 

Photo / After the premiere ceremony, Shanshan and Lila pose for a group photo

Then it took me more than 20 days to finish all the shows in the end. The teacher asked my classmates to help me find the theater, print the invitations for me, and distribute them to all the guests.

I was particularly touched by the fact that my solo party invitation was sent in the name of Lila. The design of the invitation is particularly beautiful, it is a blue background, and there is a pair of golden hands on it, which is the hand of Teacher Lila. Here's a passage in the name of Lila Samson inviting everyone to come and join me for my solo dance party.

■ 

Photo / Shanshan solo party invitation

And she invited very important people. First of all, we invited the ambassador and counselor of the Chinese embassy, and it was the minister who came to attend. In India, she invited a lot of famous artists, including dance critics, famous musicians, and they all came to my initiation ceremony.

I made my debut in May 1999 at a theatre in New Delhi with the special guest of Matwi Mdagger, the head of the Odissi faction. He gave me a ceremony to give a footbell and I put it on my foot and started the performance. It was a full two-and-a-half-hour dance, and all nine of them were solo dances.

Teacher Lila holds a bronze bell that resembles a cymbal. The teacher will hit the rhythm of my dance, so she has to guide the performance from beginning to end.

I would glance at the teacher from time to time, and I thought she was quite relieved, and her eyes were always on me.

I have a photo that I have always cherished and am reluctant to post. In the photo, I'm dancing in the middle of the stage, and I'm shooting it from my vantage point, with Lila sitting upright in the background and beating me to the beat. I especially cherish this photo.

Then after the show, all the audience came to talk to the actors. I think it's a really good feeling, that is, after the performance, no one will immediately turn around and leave, they will talk to the actors, they will talk about their feelings, they will give you praise and encouragement.

Teacher Lila has been there for me throughout the whole process, and she will also participate in some exchanges, just like my mother.

There is another particularly interesting thing to talk about when it comes to the premiere ceremony. Twenty years later, my daughter was in the same theater, led by my teacher, and the same musicians participated in my daughter's premiere. My daughter did her debut when she was 18 years old.

-9-

Guru for a lifetime

Shortly after the premiere, Shanshan returned to China to give birth to a child, and when her daughter was more than two years old, she took the child back to India to continue her studies. In 2006, Shanshan returned to China and set up a training center to teach Indian dance. Over the years, Shanshan and her students have undertaken most of the performances for the Sino-Indian cultural exchange. Lila has become Shanshan's lifelong teacher and best friend, and she comes to China every year to teach Shanshan's students.

■ 

Photo / Teacher Lila teaches dance to Shanshan's students in Beijing

Once, when Teacher Lila came to China, I drove her out to eat. On the way, I told the story of so many years from the beginning, and many things that Teacher Lila no longer remembers. The conversation between the two of us was also very interesting, and I asked her, "Do you remember saying that you couldn't wear such clothes to class?"

When I talk about some good orgasms, she says, "Oh my god! I wish I hadn't said that. 」

It's funny to think about it later, but it's really sad at the time. It's just that after so many years, I feel that my teacher and I care for each other reciprocatually, without any suspicion or suspicion, and her teachings to me, my wholehearted love and my sincerity to her make me feel that we know each other.

I have always believed that the most beautiful relationship in the world is the teacher-student relationship. In India it is called Guru-shishya (parampara), and in China we have a master-apprentice lineage.

Ever since I was a child, I have longed to have a good teacher and have been looking for a Guru.

So I was lucky enough to meet Mr. Zhang Jun and other teachers, and finally when I met Ms. Lila, I found that I had found it.

So I recognized this Guru, and she is my Guru for the rest of my life. Now my daughter is my classmate, and the two of us take online classes together, and we are pas de deux partners. (ENDS)

■ 

Photo / Her daughter is now Shanshan's dance partner

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