Whether your child is here to repay the favor or to collect debts, you can tell at the age of 2

Every child is the treasure of their parents, but there are always some children who are particularly worry-free to bring up, independent and filial piety when they grow up, while some children always put their parents in the "dire straits", and when they grow up, they will either have no interest or gnaw at the old.

Do you want to know whether your child is here to repay your kindness or to collect debts? You don't have to wait until you grow up, you can see the clues at the age of two, and parents can seize the opportunity to turn a child who "collects debts" into a child who "repays your kindness."

1. Keep asking why

Nan Nan has just turned two years old, almost everything has to catch her mother and ask "why", the mother is overwhelmed, not that she doesn't want to answer the child, but she is always chased and asked, the mother feels that she is a perpetual motion machine, and there is no chance to catch her breath at all.

Two-year-old children like to ask why, this is a very typical situation, parents can handle it well, they can raise their children to "repay the favor".

The first thing to understand is that when the child reaches an age where he needs to get a lot of information, he is understanding cause and effect through the "why".

When parents answer, they don't have to worry too much about the correct answer, they can give an imaginative answer, which can make the child understand and make associations.

For example, a child asks: Why is the sun setting?

A: Because the sun is tired.

Q: Then why isn't the moon tired?

Answer: The moon works the night shift, and it gets tired as soon as it dawns.

Q: Why doesn't Sun work the night shift?

A: Because the sun brings us warmth and light, the time when there is sun is called daytime.

Secondly, the child asks why, which is actually the beginning of the conversation, whether the child can communicate well with the parents in the future depends on how you treat him "why" when he is 2 years old.

The essence of the child's question is to exchange ideas with others through dialogue.

So it doesn't matter what you answer, it's the patience and serious participation of parents that counts.

If you are too busy with work to take care of your children at this time, your children are likely to become cold and rebellious, and it will be difficult to have a good conversation with their parents in the future.

2. Hit people at every turn

Chenchen is more than two years old, he is simply the little bully of the family, if something goes wrong, he will start beating his parents, grandparents, and grandparents, and he has been banned repeatedly.

Dad sometimes can't help but lecture him, but this has no effect, and Chenchen still beats people frequently, and Mom is worried that after he goes to kindergarten, he will also attack his classmates.

Is it certain that such children are here to "collect debts"? Not necessarily, because two-year-old children are likely to hit others, and this is not a matter of moral character, but they do not yet have the ability to restrain themselves.

When children grow up, they will understand that anger and anger are their own emotions, and they can choose to vent or endure, and of course, they can also choose to do what they like and drive away bad emotions.

Children will beat their parents because they are sure that their parents will not "dislove" them, especially for grandparents.

So what parents need to do is: establish authority.

This doesn't mean that every time your child is about to hit someone, you will hit him back harshly, which will make him feel that he or she is right to do everything.

What we have to do is to decisively squeeze the child's little hand and tell him: Don't hit someone, I won't allow you to hit me. And give him a modest punishment, such as: no desserts, or watch less cartoons.

Afterwards, when the child has calmed down, you can guide him appropriately: when you are angry, you can tell your mother, use words to show your anger, and your mother will consider your opinion, but it is not right to hit someone.

As long as it is handled properly, the child's beating behavior will pass in a year at most, and parents should not be too entangled.

A child who has beaten his parents at the age of two may also come to repay the favor in the future.

3. As long as mom doesn't want dad

Xiao Jian just passed his second birthday, and he added a new problem: he didn't want a father.

Dad would dress him, he would scream, Dad would hand him the kettle, and he would drop the kettle on the ground, and he would stick to Mom for everything, and he would ask Mom to help him. Dad was devastated by this and felt that the baby didn't love him anymore.

In fact, Dad's idea is completely unnecessary, but Xiao Jian's behavior needs to be paid attention to, and if it is not handled well, the child will become a "debt collector".

This is the first time in the child's life that he is fighting with his parents for control!

In the only two years of life experience, his mother is a loyal fan of Xiaojian, and whatever he needs, his mother takes care of him and satisfies him.

So for Xiao Jian, his mother is a particularly easy to use "slave", and using his mother, of course, is more convenient than using his father.

This is even more evident in the families of stay-at-home mothers.

Dad should know that it's not that the child doesn't love you anymore, it's not that the child doesn't kiss you, it's actually that you participate in too few parenting activities.

The child does not know what will happen later if the father helps, because there is no way to judge, so it is better to choose the mother if he cooperates with the father and has to take risks.

In the minds of a two-year-old, this choice is up to him.

This idea is dangerous, so parents must take back control.

Tell the child that dad can also help you, and when the child needs it, whoever is more convenient will help him, these are decided by the parents. Even if the child is crying, complete this help, and remember not to change people halfway.

After a few times, the child will know that in this family he is not the one who can decide everything.

At the same time, after exercise, the father's parenting skills will be more proficient, the child and the father will also have a tacit understanding, and the child will be more clingy to the father in the next few years, and the mother should also be psychologically prepared.

As long as parents successfully transform from "service-oriented" parents to "authoritative" parents when their children are two years old, they can train their children to be "reciprocating kindness".

Are your children here to repay their kindness or to collect debts?

I am @蓁蓁psychological parenting, welcome to pay attention and learn more about family education.

Some of the pictures come from the Internet, such as invasion and deletion.