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The author himself
On the eve of enlisting in 98, I met a woman through a blind date, and since then Hongyan has passed on the book, but unfortunately on the eve of my discharge, she suddenly disappeared, which is really incomprehensible.
In the winter of '98, in response to the country's call for me to enlist in the army, on the eve of enlistment, a colleague of mine came to my house and said that he was introduced to me, and the girl introduced was her aunt and niece.
I was standing on the Great Wall and shooting
At four o'clock in the afternoon that day, my aunt came to my house in a hurry and said to me in a hurry: "Xiaojian, you have to go to the army in a few days, my aunt will introduce you to a girlfriend, pack up and go to her house now, rush over and almost get home from work." ”
Then I was led by the nose and followed my aunt as if I was being slaughtered, and I was really looking forward to it and flustered at the same time, and rode my bicycle all the way to her house.
The aunt called her niece Xiaofang loudly, Xiaofang ran out of the kitchen when she heard someone calling her, and walked up to the aunt with a happy little step and asked in surprise:
"Auntie, why are you here?"
At this time, when she came out, she also noticed me, a stranger, but she paid attention for a moment and then started talking to her aunt.
The moment of doubt, he avoided it for the time being, and politely asked Auntie, why are you here?
My aunt said decisively: "I will introduce you to someone." ”
After speaking, I asked your parents if they hadn't come back yet, and Xiaofang replied:
"Auntie, Mom and Dad won't be back in about half an hour? Why don't you sit down first, and I'll go out and buy some food and come back." ”
"Don't buy it, what do you have to eat at home! You two talk first, I'll cook for you!"
Then Auntie went straight to the kitchen to prepare, leaving me and Xiaofang awkwardly standing at the kitchen door.
Fortunately, Xiaofang's personality is flamboyant and generous, lively and cheerful, and she resolved the embarrassment at this time in a timely manner, which made me very moved at the time, and I couldn't help but feel admiration for her ability to resolve in time in adversity, and I felt that inexplicable feeling in my heart, this girl is really good.
"Let's go, let's go to the room and sit down and talk!"
When the girl spoke, I was also surprised, and I nodded yes to her in a timely manner following her gaze and smiling face.
One after the other, we went to a room on the west side of the main house, next to the kitchen, and there was a table with several long wooden stools on each side, and some farm tools and snakeskin bags and so on.
It's something you see at first glance, but you don't have any other ideas of practicality, and you just wait quietly for the plot to unfold.
However, Xiao Fang's very generous attitude surprised me, not surprised, and generous.
"You sit here!"
Then we sat face to face and chatted and it began, of course, a relaxed and enjoyable process.
The process of chatting involves our work and the issue of being able to write letters during the army, so the two of us took the initiative to leave contact information, of course, I said that my contact information will be given to you when I get to the army, and she said yes.
Just as we were having a good time, the aunt over there called us to dinner.
In this way, the first relaxed and happy blind date process is still fresh in my memory for the rest of my life, but because of its final ending, I feel that I am destined.
The author himself
On the eve of reporting back to the army, because he didn't have time to say goodbye in person, he came to the barracks without saying a word and nervously.
The four-month military training career of the recruit company is something I will remember for the rest of my life.
From an ignorant teenager to a defender of the motherland's borders in a few months, what a big change, and it can even be said to be a rebirth.
The intensity of military training makes each of us tired every day. The happiest thing after training is to share with another person, although I don't know what the future will be, but I still share it with her, the kind of expectation of incomparable happiness in the future is spontaneous, and even the future planning and bright prospects are silently brewing in the heart, and a passionate seed slowly takes root in the heart.
The hard training was wrapped in the expectation of her reply, and that expectation was both happy and tormenting.
No matter how hard the days are, this kind of waiting is worth it, because there is also a person over there waiting for me to go back, spend candles in the cave room, spend a good night together, and think about it.
In this way, one by one, there is an expectation every time, and each time it increases the understanding and emotion between each other.
The recruit company has more than 100 days and nights, and has experienced ups and downs in life during this period.
There are joys, sorrows, sadness, a new understanding of things, a feeling of longing for the elders in their hometown, and a criticism of the objective reasons for training.
The strict requirements of the training and the improvement of ideology and politics have given me a deeper understanding that only by sacrificing a small family can we have the prosperity and strength of the motherland.
However, every time I have a new understanding, I will share this feeling and progress with her, and she will also feel that the army can transform people more and learn things that others can't.
Every time she replies to a letter, she will tell me about the changes in her hometown, the unhappiness and intensity of work, and she will also write the gossip and nagging in her heart into the letter, and of course she will complain about how good it would be if we were together, and save every letter to communicate.
In this way, the way of coming and going makes us understand each other more and more, and the emotional communication is more and more in-depth, so we also cherish every opportunity for emotional communication.
During this period, our correspondence was very normal, and when I was arranged to study in Beijing under the company, I suddenly lost contact with each other.
After arriving in Beijing, I quickly told Xiaofang about my study in Beijing, as for the last time I wrote a letter and did not receive a reply from you, I would like to let me know.
I received her reply after the Chinese New Year, which I was very anxiously waiting for.
Roughly something like this:
Her family is worried that I will not be able to come back in the development of the army and do not know when and what month, her family is very concerned about our future, if you can't be demobilized in time, then her wait is not worth it, one is a waste of youth and unnecessary time, and the other is that she has lost more good choices, so she is in a dilemma and chooses to compromise and listen to her parents.
Seeing this kind of information, my heart is very entangled, I have never been in love, I am difficult to understand for a while, the emotional effort collapses at this moment, and my heart is suddenly difficult to parry the sudden blow, and it can even be said that I am overwhelmed by the sudden storm.
What should I do? At the same time, I am also looking for a solution.
Calm down, I replied:
Roughly it means: after such a long time of correspondence we have a deep understanding of each other, we have common topics with each other, and we also have endless feelings of missing each other, and the sudden suddenness makes me breathless, I don't know what to do? If it is really fateless, then I can't impose it on others, if I do this, I am too selfish and do not think about you, then you are free to choose your marriage and happy life, because of my special status and situation, I can't come back to complete the lifelong event of respecting you, so I have to give up, I wish you happiness.
Of course, there must have been more written than there is now, and I just have a general meaning that now falls into the article.
The encounter of fate cannot be over, it may be a pity, but it is also a happy process.
For the first time in my life, I ran for a thousand miles, although the road was bumpy, tortuous and difficult, but since I had her company, I was intoxicated all the way, fragrant and fragrant all the way, and I was not afraid of difficulties and dangers to complete the transformation of a qualified soldier, which has her share of credit.
For a long time, I was immersed in the consciousness of self-regret, if it was not for this thousand-mile single ride, maybe our fate would have a good ending, but the reality cannot be repeated, and it is impossible to end our dedication to the motherland because we met.
In fact, fate is known because of being a soldier, and it is also terminated because of reality, but when you recall the past later, this experience is undoubtedly the happiest process, because with her appearance can be regarded as the perfect presentation of life, and inevitability has become a matter of course, and the necessary experience is also a memory of her life without regrets, and it is also a happy memory!
Not getting is always the best, and getting is not necessarily good.
It was taken on the eve of graduation from studying in Beijing
The last time I received a letter from her was a few months later. (also a letter of renunciation)
At that time, I was studying diesel engine in Beijing, and the time was almost full, and I had no spare time, so I had to go to the vegetable garden to water after class, which was something that every class had to do every day.
It is also an opportunity for each of us to learn to be self-reliant, and we are very happy to see the vitality of the vegetables grown by our class every day.
The squad leader and the captain also spoke highly of the growth of the vegetables we planted, and the squad leader was the happiest.
Before going to bed at night, a summary of the day's learning is also conducted, and everyone reports to the class leader.
From the moment I received the letter of renunciation, I also knew that our fate would no longer be possible.
A group photo with comrades-in-arms during a tour near Tiananmen Square
However, the enrichment of studying during the day made me forget about it, but when I fell asleep, it was also a time for self-reflection and self-regulation.
The love letters of the past, the concern and greetings between the words seem to be next to me, and my sweet words seem to be as high as yesterday's corners of my mouth at this moment, but unfortunately everything can't go back.
Although it has been a year old, every time I think of this experience of love, I will never forget it for a long time.
After returning from the army, she met by chance, and she was divorced and entered a second marriage again.
Obviously we were a little embarrassed to meet, but she opened her mouth first and asked how I was doing.
I still have the shy smile I had before, but this time I still wanted to see her, intentionally or unintentionally, and she was a little embarrassed by my eyes.
She also smiled shyly, and I didn't make any answers, and I replied with a smile like this, which means that.