Be wary of using your children to save face during the New Year! These 4 things, good parents will never show off Companion reading

This article is excerpted from|Satya Parenting

ID|satiryuer

Warm heart

Broadcasting|Wu Bingjie 

Visual Design|Wang Rongjia, Fan Wei

Column host|Du Runnan

Two days ago at a family gathering, my nephew had a big fight with his mother over his grades.

At the dinner table, the nephew's mother praised her nephew for doing well in the exam, and even chattered in front of everyone that "how good the child is, how conscious he usually is".

At this time, the nephew said very unhappily: "Mom, can you not discuss my grades in front of everyone, it makes me very uncomfortable." ”

Mom didn't think so, and continued: "What's the matter, what's the matter with saying it to make everyone happy?"

This time, the nephew lost his temper directly and said angrily: "My test results are not yours, you just show off them every time, which is very annoying." ”

In fact, this is not the first time that the mother and son have quarreled at the dinner table, every time as long as the nephew finishes the exam, his mother especially likes to show off, never taking into account the child's feelings.

Parents show off what their children have, it is easy for their children to lose something, and good parents will never show off these things to their children.

Don't show off your child's grades

The neighbor's mother also likes to show off her child's grades.

Not only did she praise her son to heaven, but she also taught others at length how to educate their children.

Studies have shown that paying too much attention to a child's grades is not conducive to a child's psychological development.

The more parents show off, the stronger the child's sense of superiority, and a sense of arrogance of "I am the best, no one else can compare to me" will slowly breed in the heart; on the other hand, the child will often tense his nerves in order to maintain this sense of superiority, which will bring a lot of pressure to the child.

Parents can reward their children for good grades and encourage their children's bad grades, but never flaunt their success with their children's grades.

Liang Qichao has a famous saying in treating children's academics, "Don't ask about harvest, but ask about hard work".

He asked the children to treat their studies, not just think about returns, but cultivate their own world, and there will naturally be good results.

Never use your child's grades to find self-worth, but help him keep his original intention and overlook the future through his child's grades.

Don't show off your child's talents

As soon as the party arrives, some parents will let their children perform in public.

If the child behaves well, the parents have a special face, and if the child does not want to, the parents will count the child down and finally force the child to perform.

When most children are forced to perform, the grievances, resistance, and cowardice that appear are invisible to their parents.

A father on the Internet said a sentence that was liked by many netizens:

"It's a good thing for a person to be exposed to art, but in this process, you must first know how to respect yourself, and secondly, you must know how to respect art. ”

The same is true for children's performances, everything must start from his "original intention", and the child is willing, so that he can know how to respect art.

Don't show off your child's "sensibility"

Every child is a living individual, and they are different flowers.

One teacher asked the children to draw an apple, and one child drew a big blue apple, and the teacher saw it and praised him: "What a good drawing!"

The parents saw it very strange and asked the teacher, "Why don't you correct his wrong color?"

The teacher replied, "Why should I correct it? Maybe he will actually be able to grow blue apples in the future." ”

The "well-behaved" of children should be more reflected in the rules of life and behavior and morality.

At the level of thinking, "disobedience" should be encouraged.

As parents, we need to give our children a sense of identity and make them feel accepted.

Express love, love the child unconditionally, so that he can be well-behaved or willful.

Don't flaunt your child's privacy

Many parents feel that showing their babies is a record of growth, but they don't know that these behaviors will bring two invisible harms to their children.

First, there is a risk of revealing the child's name, appearance, health information, and family information, which may put the child at risk.

The more your child's privacy is exposed, the easier it is for your child to be at risk.

The second type: disrespect for children, easy to make children have an inferiority complex.

A netizen said:

When I was a child, when I went to the house with my parents, they always liked to go around talking about my troubles at home, and every time I wanted to find a hole to hide.

Joke about me, have you considered my feelings?

Psychologically, children have a sense of independence since they were 2 years old, and after they are 3 years old, they gradually have a sense of shame.

For younger children, it's a form of protection not to send their photos casually.

How many points children will score in the future and what kind of path they will take are their own scripts.

Parents just need to be respectful, accepting, recognized, concerned and protected.

Editor-in-charge|Wang Jiashi, Du Runnan, Liang Ruizhe

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