Children have been on winter vacation for a while, and many parents have recently taken annual leave one after another.
During this time, I scrolled through the circle of friends, and I could always see children and parents who were active in the north and south. Among them, Bao Ma Xuhong in the circle of friends is the friend with the highest frequency of posting photos in the year.
A few days ago, she shared a photo of herself and her child in Malaysia. As soon as her son was on vacation, Xu Hong hurriedly embarked on an exploration trip to Yulin, Borneo, Malaysia under the banner of "Winter Vacation Tour for Primary School Students to Run on Vacation".
They went to the Kota Kinabalu mangrove forest to see monkeys, sunsets, and fireflies. They also went snorkeling around the beach island and did underwater photography.
At the bottom of the circle of friends, many friends have made "envious" comments, and many parents are asking about the price and strategy of this trip.
Among them, I also saw the comment of my friend Chanli: "Is it fun? I also want to take my children to play." I chatted with her privately and asked if she was on vacation.
Chanli replied that she had just taken a vacation and confided in me about her recent troubles. Chanli's daughter, Xiao Rui, has been clamoring recently to ask Canli and his wife to take her on a trip.
The children said that after each long holiday, the children in the class were chattering about the foreign food they tasted and the beautiful rivers and mountains they appreciated during the holiday.
And Xiao Rui could only listen to the sharing of his classmates silently on the side, sometimes showing envious eyes.
Therefore, Xiao Rui made up his mind that he must let his mother take him out for a trip during this year's winter vacation.
But Canli's family can only be regarded as an ordinary family, she and her husband are both "low-level employees" of the company, and after the salary level is repaid the mortgage, it is only enough for the family's living expenses.
What's more, this year's environment is poor, the company's efficiency is not good, and the year-end bonus of the two has also shrunk greatly compared with the past.
But her daughter told herself that she wanted to go to Beijing to listen to the century-old story, visit the ice and snow capital, go to Xichang to chase the stars and the sea, look up at the starry sky, and go to Xi'an to travel through the Zhou, Qin, Han and Tang dynasties and explore Chinese culture.
Listening to her daughter's earnest words and looking at the yearning in her daughter's eyes that couldn't be hidden, Canli planned to be ruthless and take her child on a trip.
In Chanli's heart, the child's vision is very important. In the past, the child was young and had no need for this, but now that Xiaorui has grown up, she hopes that her daughter will have it too.
Some people have longed to go to Beijing all their lives, and some people have been in Beijing since they were born. In the documentary "The Way Out", the director spent six years documenting the fate of three children from different classes.
To some extent, it is a blessing to have the freedom to choose your own life. Now there is also a popular saying: "It is difficult to produce a noble son from a poor family." As a result, many parents began to be anxious, and many parents began to be poor.
In my opinion, it is our education and the hearts of our children that are most vulnerable to poverty.
In today's society, there are not a few people who lack ability but think that their wages are low. There are also young people who are in debt, but they are still planning trips that they can go.
Parents are still facing the loess with their backs to the sky, saving money and frugality, but they are showing off that they want to live exquisitely, and their lives are full of rituals.
In the variety show "Metamorphosis", there are many rural children who are lost because of their prosperity.
The poor family is rich, be careful of the children before they get rich. For ordinary families, the most dangerous education is the poor family, and it is destroying our children. Because, enrichment is definitely not "throwing money" in our understanding.
If you are in the process of educating your children, it is difficult to raise excellent children, even if you are rich.
Pure enrichment is a talisman for raising bad children, and the following education methods must be avoided
●Emphasis on material giving, ignoring spiritual satisfaction
Most parents travel between home and work every day, and work takes up most of their lives. Despite exhaustion, we are still reluctant to let ourselves stop, for no other reason, just to have a better quality of life for our children, so that children have the confidence to live.
It is understandable to work hard for their children to live a more prosperous life, but many parents forget to care about their children's spiritual world in the process of struggling for life.
Three Canadian psychologists once conducted a psychological experiment called sensory deprivation in the 50s of the 20th century.
In this experiment, although the experimental students did not have to worry about food and clothing, they were even paid $20 a day.
However, in the state of security sense isolation, their attention, memory, thinking, and speech ability are all impaired to varying degrees, and even hallucinations and obsessive-compulsive symptoms will occur, which will disrupt normal mental activities.
Children who receive only material care are like students in sensory deprivation experiments, who receive material satisfaction but have more psychological problems.
Compared with material things, parents' hugs, care, and comfort are the real needs of children.
●Attaching importance to intellectual education and neglecting character development
A 14-year-old junior high school student in Nanjing fell from a building due to academic pressure, and a 9-year-old girl in Xi'an committed suicide by jumping from the 15th floor because she could not complete her homework assigned by her teacher on time...... We believe that this kind of news has long been common.
Why are our children always crushed by academics? Behind many children with academic pressure, there is a parent who constantly urges them to study hard and strive for a higher level.
Everyone will experience setbacks and difficulties in the process of growing up, and our children are not so fragile originally, but the expectations of parents and extreme education methods make children's psychology change and make their character more cowardly.
Education should be about adults first, then talents. But parents who are anxious for chicken babies just want their children to get good grades in the exam and become the envy of everyone.
To this end, we are willing to let our children go to high-priced one-on-one tuition classes, so that children can go to specialty training classes without interruption.
Obsessed with cultivating "scholars", we ignore the cultivation of children's character and ignore the exercise of children's will and perseverance.
From birth to 18 years old, every 3~6 years is a leap in character growth. By the age of 18, once a child's personality is formed, it will gradually stabilize, and it will be difficult to change it later.
epilogue
Each member of the family is connected by invisible cables that allow us to be close to each other.
And the most important family connection is that family members have common interests, mutual emotional investment, and a sense of trust and respect.
The pure material output makes it impossible for children to absorb all-round spiritual nutrition, and for ordinary families, this kind of education is even more deadly.
Ignoring the education of character, emotions, and values will make children, parents, and even society pay a higher price than academic failure.
(The pictures in this article are all from the Internet, and the infringement will be deleted immediately)