Heavy work, chores that have to be dealt with, troublesome relationships, partners who don't know where to hide... Every day, people are chased by various responsibilities, constantly in a state of busyness, and always feel anxious.
Psychologist Rick Hansen believes that we worry about things because of the animal's instinct to face threats, and that if we see the illusion of anxiety, we can feel safer.
Most of the time, fear is done in the shadows and subtly at work.
For example, when a person is in a small comfort zone, uses procrastination tactics to avoid challenges, and feels emotionally suppressed, fear is actually at work.
The power of fear is extremely powerful because it is essential for survival.
The way we experience and respond to seemingly trivial concerns today is shaped by neurohormonal mechanisms that helped our ancestors respond to and survive deadly threats.
The "Two Mistakes" That Make People Excessively Anxious
As the nervous system evolves, animals can make two kinds of mistakes, which we can compare to this:
1. Believe there is a tiger in the bushes, but it doesn't.
2. I believe there are no tigers in the bushes, but there are.
In the wild, what is the cost of making the first mistake? It creates unnecessary anxiety, which is uncomfortable, but not fatal. And what is the cost of making the second mistake? It is likely to be a loss of life.
Thus, our ancestors developed a strong tendency to prefer to make the first mistake over and over again and avoid making the second mistake at any time.
In fact, we became paper tiger paranoids.
As a result, most people overestimate the threat and underestimate the resources they can use to deal with it. These biases operate in the background and are often difficult to see through, making them powerful.
Exercise: See "anxiety" for what it really is and feel safe
To make us feel safer, we need to stop exaggerating threats and start recognizing all of our resources. Then we don't have to worry that we don't have a sense of distress.
Pick a thing that worries you, you can do it through self-reflection, journaling, or discussing it with someone, and you can apply it to all kinds of things that worry you.
We need to be concrete and concrete about the scale of the challenge. In fact, we should build a fence around the problem and frame it, rather than let it be vague and general.
For example, instead of saying, "I'm not in good health," would it be clearer to say, "I have high blood pressure"? Try to limit the question to a specific space and time: What parts of your life are affected and what are not? When did that happen and when is it not so relevant?
Maybe you've been struggling with an ongoing condition, such as a chronic health problem. But most of the time, when we feel anxious, it's usually associated with something bad happening: that is, it's the threat of the pain that might happen that makes you anxious, not the pain itself.
For example, a person might think, "I might get sick" or "If I express anger, no one will want me." If you're only concerned with a possibility, not a fait accompli, ask yourself, "Actually, how likely is it to happen?"
Something bad may have happened in your past, and it may have been due to someone you lived with or someone you knew at the time. But things are different today, and the chances of something bad happening are much less.
What would you experience if the threat came true? Let's take an example, if you are a fragile or arbitrary person, and you are worried that someone will reject you.
Well, let's say the terrible event you're fearing really happens. How would you feel if it did happen? On a scale of 0 ∼ 10, 10 represents the worst you can think of, how bad do you think it will be?
In the past, events like this can really make you feel very scary, especially in childhood, before the nervous system is fully mature, and the sense of the event will be more acute. But now, you're an adult, and you have more internal shocks. So it's highly likely that you won't feel as bad as you feared, or that bad feelings will last that long.
Let all of the above sink into your heart.
Let yourself open your heart to the comfort and peace of mind that the good news brings you.
Bring the good news into your heart, allow yourself to ease and relax, and gradually replace excessive, unnecessary alarms, tension, and anxiety.
Next, ask yourself: Based on the actual scale of what you're worried about, how likely it is likely to happen, and how strong its impact is, how can you cope with it?
For example, let's say you notice that one of the tires on your car has gone flat. It's a hassle for sure. But if you know how to change a tire, or if you can call roadside assistance, it won't be a big problem.
Think of past times when you appealed to inner strengths such as perseverance, self-confidence, and compassion to deal with problems.
Then take a moment to think about how you can once again harness these inner strengths to meet the challenges at hand. Also consider the talents and skills you can bring in and use. How do you solve this problem, and what plans do you have in place to prevent, manage, or recover from?
Think about other resources within yourself, such as mindfulness and your own kindness, and how these resources can help you.
How is your body working for you so far? How can you make it work for you again? See if you can adjust it to match its natural life force.
Feel its strength, energy and ability.
Imagine some of the ways your body can help you cope with challenges.
You are surrounded by many resources, such as friends, family, and acquaintances.
How do they make a difference? Take into account both physical help and emotional support.
If you have pets, think about your pets, for example, when my cat sits on my lap, my worries are always much lighter. If so, can you get professional help, which could be from a doctor, lawyer or accountant?
Think about what you have and think about how you can use them to meet challenges.
When you think about your resources, let your perception of them create a sense of abundance, peace of mind, and peace of mind.
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