It is human nature for brothers and sisters to help each other. However, some busyness should not be helped, otherwise it is likely to cause irreparable damage. As family members, how should we put "helping" in perspective?
In response to this problem, a wise man once instructed us: never help our brothers and sisters in the following three ways, no matter how close the relationship is.
First, don't help your siblings at the expense of yourself and your family.
It is valuable for relatives to care for each other, but the first thing to do is to take good care of yourself and your family. If you harm your own interests in order to help your siblings, it is not only unfair to yourself, but also affects family relationships.
For example, some people use their savings to help their brothers with their children's education, and as a result, their children's studies are affected. Some people frequently help their brothers in business and neglect to take care of the elderly at home, resulting in the deterioration of the elderly's health.
Your family is the most important thing to you. We should always put the needs of our family members first and help other loved ones when we have the spare energy. If you have to sacrifice the interests of the family to help your siblings, this will not only cause dissatisfaction among the family, but also may cause estrangement and misunderstanding, and destroy the originally harmonious family relationship.
Second, don't help your siblings develop dependencies and vices.
Some siblings live a lazy life and lack the spirit of diligence and self-improvement. If we help them indiscriminately, we are likely to encourage their laziness and dependence.
For example, often help them pay for their living expenses, and in the long run, they will develop the bad habit of waiting for help; Or to tolerate them wasting their time and not wanting to make progress, which is tantamount to allowing them to go down the wrong path.
When we help others, we also need to urge them to strive for self-improvement and hard work. We cannot take care of their lives for a long time because of a moment of mercy, let alone condone their depravity.
Reasonable help can help a person to tide over a difficult situation temporarily, but excessive help can make a person lose the spirit of self-reliance. Therefore, we must give full consideration to the actual situation of our brothers and sisters, and do not allow them to develop dependencies and vices.
Third, don't help your siblings do illegal or even criminal things.
Some siblings may ask you to help them do something illegal or criminal, such as helping them to evade taxes by misrepresenting their income, forging documents, or participating in illegal transactions. This is clearly against the law and morality and will get you into trouble. Even if you want to help your loved one, it is wrong to help him do illegal things. Not only does it undermine social fairness, but it can also make you lose your innocence.
Other siblings may be in financial trouble and want you to help him escape his debts or help them pass them on to you. This is tantamount to helping him deceive others. No matter how close our relatives are, we cannot do anything that undermines morality and justice. Otherwise, we not only run the risk of being held legally responsible, but we will also be taken advantage of by our brothers and sisters, unable to get rid of the troubles they have created.
Therefore, we must correctly understand the boundaries of "help". It must not violate the law or even commit a crime, let alone deviate from the bottom line of morality. We must hold this boundary.
Brothers and sisters are close to each other and support each other, and this traditional virtue is worth promoting. But at the same time, we must understand the principle of "helping", and we must not lose judgment and do things that are contrary to morality because of family affection.
The wise man's guidance makes us realize that no matter how close we are to our brothers and sisters, we should not help them do these three kinds of favors that are harmful to ourselves and society. Only in this way can family affection manifest its true meaning on the right path.