Parents are hoping that their son will become a dragon, and in order for their child to have a good future, they constantly urge him to improve, but a good word can make the child regain confidence, and a bad word can make the child fall into low self-esteem.
"Love is deep, responsibility is keen", once parents say something, it is like a sharp knife, hurting their children.
The ten most heartbreaking sentences remind parents to be merciful and stop hurting their children's hearts with words. At the same time, parents should be told what to say to their children and how parents should look at their children from a positive and positive perspective and motivate them.
1
The 10 most poking words for children
✎1. Why are you so stupid!
How does it feel when someone says you're stupid?
Loss, desperation, frustration......
These are in the child, not reduced, only magnified.
The child's ability to bear and judge is not perfect, and it is easy to be affected by the words of others.
To be more patient and confident with your child, you can replace it with:
It's okay to be wrong, try a few more times and you'll be successful, it's not easy to do that!
✎2. What are you crying about, do you still have the face to cry?
"What are you crying about, cry again and I'll beat you!"
"Look at others, who loves to cry as much as you!"
"What's the use of crying....."
Some parents are upset when they hear their children crying, and they immediately stop them, especially some boys' parents think that boys crying lack manly temperament, and resolutely do not allow their children to cry, and even tell their children that crying is embarrassing.
When a child is wronged, crying can relieve emotions.
The child is young and doesn't know how to regulate his emotions, so let him cry if he wants to cry.
Parents can patiently wait for the child to finish crying before reasoning with him, please be careful not to talk about the child's crying, because the child will not listen at this time;
Don't compromise in order not to make your child cry, this will make your child cry a killer feature in the future.
✎3. I'll never trust you again.
Whose child hasn't told a few little lies, parents have found out that how to deal with it is the key!
We all know that lying is not a good thing, but scolding a child will only make him even more afraid to tell the truth. If the child is repeatedly taught, the parents will say things like "I will never trust you again" when they are angry.
Parents don't trust their children, and the children will be very hurt, and even the closest parents don't believe him, who else believes them?
Children will be more introverted, sensitive, and insecure. Therefore, if you find a problem, you must talk to your child about it.
✎ 4. You're so uncompetitive, I'm disappointed in you.
Parents always have great expectations for their children, and when this expectation is imposed on their children, it becomes pressure, which leads to the greater the expectations of parents, the greater the disappointment.
If parents say this often, the child will become less and less convinced of himself, lose self-confidence, feel that he is "stupid" and cannot do anything well.
Children can't get the affirmation of their parents, their self-esteem is worn out little by little by their parents' words, and in the end, they simply don't learn well, they become more and more rebellious, and their grades are getting worse and worse.
✎5. I said no, I just can't.
If you say no, you can't, and you have to be reasonable as a parent!
This trick is really effective, and there is a good chance that the child will not "refute" it after hearing it.
However, this does not mean that the child is convinced, and the temporary silence will accumulate again and again, and form a more serious resistance.
Fear is not the same as convincing, oral administration is not the same as convincing, and the prestige of parents should not be used to force children to conform.
We should respect the child's choice, and discuss with the child when encountering disagreements, rather than a simple and rude "one-word hall".
✎6. You look at other people's XXX.
Other people's children are obedient, sensible, and good at studying, get up early and go to bed early, rush to do housework, read books every day, and never play games.
Many children grow up listening to their parents talk about "other people's children", and parents always exaggerate the advantages of other people's children compared with their own children's shortcomings.
Every child is not perfect, has its own strengths and specialties, smart parents are good at discovering their children's strengths and exploring their children's potential, rather than only seeing their children's shortcomings and belittling their children's abilities.
✎7. Next time I can score 100 points, I'll buy it for you.
First of all, it is not advisable to use material things to encourage children to study hard.
Because this can only arouse the child's short-term desire to learn, but not the potential interest and motivation for learning. It is also easy to develop a wrong view of money.
Secondly, the goals set for the child should be realistic and can be achieved with hard work.
Usually, you can only pass the test, but you have to take the test 100 to buy, isn't that embarrassing for children?
✎ 8. You can really do it, you can't learn well or badly, and you can learn quickly.
Some parents always ignore the child's strengths, magnify his shortcomings, and if the child does something wrong, just point it out, don't say backwords to sarcastically the child and hurt his self-esteem.
In fact, think more about why your child makes such a mistake and help him correct it, even if you can't avoid arguing with your child, it is better than not knowing the reason, making mistakes again and again!
✎ 9. Forget it, I don't think you'll be able to do anything in the future.
Since you've said so, don't blame the child for giving up on himself!
Parents keep saying this, and the child will believe it. Once encountering difficulties, it is easy to give up on oneself and compromise easily, and after failure, there is no courage to start over, and it is impossible to recover.
The denial and disfavor of parents actually give children a reason to give up on themselves.
Never say "you can't do it" to your child, appreciation and trust are the motivation for him to break through himself.
✎10. For the sake of your mother, can you work harder?
In order to let their children study hard, some parents use the method of stimulation to stimulate their children, and some parents play the card of family affection.
"You see that your mother works so hard for you, she is reluctant to eat and wear, and she gives you all the best, even if you are for your mother, can you study hard?"
This sentence will indeed cause a great psychological impact on children, some children will feel that they are a burden, causing trouble to their parents, and learning with a lot of psychological pressure, can they learn well?
Some parents will say that my children don't like to go home, and although they are never stingy with us, they also have no parent-child warmth.
Actually, you could have been friends with your children. Don't let these knives hurt the child's heart, don't say these words to the child!
2
3 words of advice for mom and dad
ღ Growth is more important than success – children who can afford to lose are the most successful
Nowadays, parents have a strange phenomenon that they do everything for their children, thinking that their children's task is to study.
I organize summer camps, and a very young child looks at boiled eggs in a daze.
I said, "Don't you like to eat?"
"Love to eat!"
"Then why don't you eat it?"
"This egg doesn't look like our eggs!"
"What do your eggs look like?"
"Our eggs are white and soft, and this egg is too hard to bite!"
Later, when I asked, I learned that the child had never seen the process of boiling and peeling eggs in his family since he was a child, and they were all laid out and cut into four pieces and eaten in front of him.
So don't always presuppose the result, but pay attention to the growth process, take the road under your feet, and the child who can afford to lose is the most successful child!
ღ Giving is more important than giving – give your child the opportunity to love you
Only giving love to children will make them have no sense of responsibility and will only blindly ask for it.
A laid-off female worker knew that her child liked to eat shrimp, so she gritted her teeth and bought it from the market, and saw that the child ate with relish, and she was reluctant to move her chopsticks.
Excessive doting and infinite indulgence breed the child's selfishness, so that the child only has himself in his heart and no one else.
ღ Dialogue is more effective than confrontation – don't "compete" with your child
The adolescent child is in a period when the sense of adulthood is rapidly increasing, but the psychology is immature, he wants to be respected by adults, and lacks basic trust in his parents, so he has a strong rebellious mentality, and the door of the heart is only open to his peers, at this time he especially needs spiritual care and understanding.
Don't just stare at others, be bold and cheer for your children, I believe your children are also very good!
Source: Homeroom Teacher's Home
![Registration for the General High School Academic Proficiency Examination will begin soon[fig]](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAP///wAAACwAAAAAAQABAAACAkQBADs=)