Although cancer has had a devastating impact on my life, it has restructured my life from a different perspective, allowing me to re-see my life and meaning, and re-plan my life. Otherwise, I will always be like a guinea pig, spinning on the gears of life, thinking that this is the way life is. - Ms. Z
Ms. Z (not her real name), 39, is a doctor of philosophy. Divorced 4 years ago, and came to a university from the south with their children to teach. I had breast cancer 2 years ago and had 12 lymph nodes metastasis at the time of surgery. He has undergone surgery, chemotherapy, radiotherapy, and is currently receiving targeted therapy and endocrine therapy. "However, I think that instead of complaining, it is better to carry the lantern forward and find the light of your life. ”
Recently, Ms. Z's speech was thought-provoking and won applause at the breast cancer science popularization and patient care salon initiated by the Red Cross Foundation of China and undertaken by Jiangsu Provincial Cancer Hospital (Affiliated Cancer Hospital of Nanjing Medical University). She said that she hopes that her story can help patients get out of the psychological haze, and at the same time give a wake-up call to healthy people.
In pursuit of perfection, I often stayed up late, and I suffered from breast cancer in my 30s
"When I got sick, I learned that people should base their happiness on sustainable and long-term life goals, rather than just looking at short-term fame, fortune and power." --The words of Dr. Yu Juan of Fudan University are still in my ears.
Ms. Z's experience is reminiscent of Dr. Yu Juan of Fudan University. She is also a female doctor, a young teacher, and a breast cancer patient, both of whom have a child. Although her family is not as happy as Yu Juan, fortunately, her condition is not as serious as Yu Juan, and the current medical level is far beyond that year.
When it comes to the cause of the disease, she said there may be two aspects. One is from a family history of cancer, which is an internal cause. My mother and grandmother are both lung cancer patients, and my aunt is an early-stage breast cancer patient, and both have been basically cured. She is a high-risk group for breast cancer and lung cancer, and should have had regular check-ups, but at that time, she always thought that she was too young to take it seriously.
On the other hand, I have bad living habits and often stay up late. Modern people are generally stressed, and the pace of work and life is fast, as a Kochi woman and perfectionist, she has put in unimaginable efforts and has very little time to rest. Especially after the divorce four years ago, a person with a young child from other places came to Nanjing University, the imperfection of the family made her pursue the perfection of her career even more, not allowing a little flaw in teaching and scientific research, and constantly challenging her limits. Many times, late at night after the child sleeps becomes the "golden hour" for her work. At that time, she thought that she could redouble her efforts in exchange for more returns and create a better life for her children.
The strings have been stretched too tightly, and sooner or later they will break. One day while taking a shower, she inadvertently touched a lump in her breast, and she was diagnosed with lymph node metastases.
"If I could do it all over again, I would rather be a person who does not pursue perfection and feels happiness in the ordinary. I used to think that a dazzling academic aura and abundant material conditions were important, but in reality, those were nothing compared to health. Ms. Z said.
Believing in science, medication and psychotherapy are equally important
Most people in the world talk about cancer discoloration, and Ms. Z believes that this is mainly due to the fear of the unknown cancer. As a patient, you need to turn the unknown into the known and reduce the fear of illness in order to better trust and cooperate with the doctor.
After suffering from cancer, she specialized in breast cancer as if she were an academic researcher. After the surgery, she did not choose between several options given by the doctor like everyone else. Instead, she chose a treatment plan and looked for a doctor who shared her thoughts. In this way, after several rounds, I found Zhang Lili, chief physician of the Department of Medical Oncology of Jiangsu Provincial Cancer Hospital. Director Zhang "understands her" very well, the treatment plan coincides with her, the answers to various questions encountered in the treatment are accurate and in place, and the daily care also makes her feel warm.
She felt that it was because she had a full understanding of cancer and met the amiable and credible Director Zhang Lili that she gradually overcame her fear of cancer and survived the comprehensive treatment more firmly and optimistically than her patients, which was a very fortunate thing after her illness. She emphasized that choosing her own treatment plan is not something that other patients should learn from. Everyone's level of knowledge of cancer is different, after all, there is a specialization in the surgical industry. Rather than worrying about the treatment plan all day long, it is better to listen to the advice of a medical professional.
She believes that psychological support is just as important as standardized treatment for breast cancer patients. The overall 5-year survival rate of breast cancer in China can reach 83%, and how to help patients in the treatment period get through the period of psychological fear, how to help the recovery patients return to social life, and spend the rest of their lives with high quality requires more care and attention from professionals, patients' families and even the whole society.
Chief Physician Zhang Lili was at the event
Nirvana was reborn, and she found the light of life
For more than 30 years, I have been working hard to study and work life, but I have not received equal returns. Neither her marriage nor her job was satisfactory, and her cancer diagnosis made her feel that her fate was unfair, and after surgery to remove one breast, she was as helpless and hopeless as most of her cancer friends. However, the painful comprehensive treatment itself also gave her the opportunity to be "reborn in Nirvana" and find the light of life.
She was extremely weak during chemotherapy. Because of lymph node dissection in one armpit and deep venous catheterization in one arm, the function of both hands is limited a lot, and the long black hair falls out, and the brain is also a chaotic "chemotherapy brain...... But as her body's adaptability to drugs increased, she gradually began to do what she could, and began to slowly record her feelings and thoughts in writing, rethinking the meaning of life. She believes that it was cancer that gave her the opportunity to experience the self-empowerment process of growing back from a state of extreme frailty.
"I'm going to keep writing, it's how I'm able to leave a lasting mark on this world." Before she fell ill, she once resisted writing because of the pressure of scientific research, and regarded it as a way to cope with the assessment, but after suffering from cancer, she often remembered a sentence in the movie "Dream Travel", "Death is not the end of life, forgetting is." This made her realize the meaning of writing in her heart. Now she will use her free time to continue writing, mainly in scientific research and academic matters, and will also record her own thoughts at the moment.
Writing helped her come out of cancer and made her life more fulfilling and meaningful. Unlike before her illness, she no longer makes herself too hard, nor does she draw on any utilitarian purpose. "I felt like I had gained some kind of psychological freedom with cancer, and I began to learn to let go of unrealistic perfectionist tendencies and accept the boundaries of my abilities." She laughs.
"Cancer has taken us off the track of our lives, but there are also positive factors in it, at least giving us an opportunity to pause our lives and rethink a lot of questions. Ms. Z said that she hopes that other patients will not be immersed in the disease all the time, cancer has happened, and instead of sinking all the time, it is better to find something that can make life shine, at least something that interests you, so that the future is more meaningful.
Information provided by: Xu Linhua, Jiangsu Provincial Cancer Hospital (Affiliated Cancer Hospital of Nanjing Medical University).
Editor: Qin Jingjing
Review: Long Bin
Producer: Jiangsu Provincial Radio and Television Health Column "New 7 Points of Health"
Correspondent: Xu Linhua