Dictation: Zhou Hong
Author: Xiaoya
I'm 51 years old, I've been married to my husband for 27 years, and now I'm seriously thinking about ending my marriage.
This morning, I was doing housework at home when I suddenly received a call from my husband, who was at work.
"Hey, you quickly pack up the vacant house, make the bed, and go to the train station to pick up my parents, they arrived at the train station at 11:20. After receiving someone, you take my parents to their favorite noodle restaurant to eat noodles and let them rest. They sat for seven or eight hours on the general express, and it was hard work. ”
When I heard my husband's words, I didn't react for a while, because before that, he had never told my in-laws about coming.
I asked him, "Why are your parents here, and how long are they going to stay?"
He replied nonchalantly, "What else can you come for?" I don't know how long I'll stay, at least until the end of the Chinese New Year! You hurry up and work, I still have to go to work, I don't have time to talk nonsense with you, take care of my parents! Also, you hurry up and make an appointment for a physical examination, and take my parents to have a physical examination tomorrow to see if there is anything uncomfortable in their bodies. ”
After saying that, my husband hung up the phone and didn't give me a chance to continue talking, and I don't know if he felt that his behavior of cutting first and then playing was too much, or he had always thought that I had no right to speak in this family, and I had to do what he wanted when he gave orders.
After hanging up the phone, I sat on the sofa and thought for a while, and then dialed my sister-in-law's phone: "Sister-in-law, I want to go back to my parents' house for a while and spend the New Year with my mother, I don't know if it's convenient?"
My sister-in-law agreed without saying a word, and said that I could live as long as I wanted. So I immediately bought a high-speed rail ticket, packed my luggage, and rushed to the high-speed rail station. In order to avoid bumping into my in-laws, I also deliberately chose another station.
Around half past eleven, my mobile phone rang, it was my mother-in-law calling, I sneered, and it was connected.
"Zhou Hong, where did you die? Why didn't you come to pick us up? We are out of the station now, and it is freezing to death outside, you hurry up. ”
"Mom, it's not the first time you've come to the house, you know the address of the community, take a taxi yourself! I'm back to my parents' house, I don't know when I'll come back, anyway, I won't come back before the New Year, what's the matter with your son!"
After saying that, I hung up the phone and didn't give my mother-in-law a chance to react and scold me. Next, my mother-in-law called me like crazy, and I made more than a dozen calls back and forth, but I refused to answer.
My husband should have received a call from his mother-in-law, and he couldn't sit still, so he sent me a message and asked me what was going on, and the following is our conversation.
"What else can I do? I'll go back to my parents' house for the New Year, and I'll come back after the New Year, so take care of your parents yourself! If your younger brothers and sisters come again, you can entertain them yourself!"
"What? You went back to your parents' house for the New Year? You were my old Chen family's daughter-in-law more than 20 years ago, and you were from my old Chen family, did you run back to your parents' house for the New Year? Besides, if you ran away, what would happen to the dozen or so people in the family? Who cooks? Who cleans and washes clothes?"
Seeing this, I smiled sarcastically, I have been married to him for 27 years, and in his eyes I am the free nanny of their old Chen family.
27 years ago, when I was 24 years old, I was introduced to my husband, and I entered the palace of marriage after knowing each other for less than three months.
At that time, I didn't know much about love and marriage, so I blindly believed the matchmaker's words, and when I saw that my parents didn't have any opinions, I got married. It wasn't until after marriage that I realized I had jumped into a fire pit.
My in-laws gave birth to three sons and three daughters, and my husband is the fourth among siblings, with an older brother and two older sisters above, and a younger brother and a younger sister below.
My in-laws have a serious patriarchal mentality, and they don't have a good attitude towards their daughters, and they only like their sons. And among the three sons, the capable eldest brother has been valued by his in-laws, and he has a very high status in the family, although he has no ability, but the little uncle who is the youngest son is the heart and soul of the in-laws, but my husband who is sandwiched in the middle is not taken seriously.
He didn't have his share in going to school, he didn't have his share in marrying a wife and building a house, and the money he earned was used by his mother-in-law to subsidize his brother-in-law, and I didn't see a penny at all.
What's worse is that among the three daughters-in-law, my in-laws don't like me the most. First, their least favorite son is my husband, so naturally I have become their least valued daughter-in-law.
Second, my husband is a nest cross, he dares to yell at me in his own home, raise his fist to threaten me, and throw things at me, but in front of his parents and siblings, he is always submissive and obedient. With his attitude, it's no wonder that my in-laws can take me seriously.
In the end, it also has something to do with my own lack of courage. The sister-in-law is spicy, not only has a strong mouth but also fights, and her in-laws can't afford to offend. My brother and daughter-in-law took the brother-in-law to death, and a few tears could make the brother-in-law quarrel with the in-laws, and the in-laws couldn't afford to offend, so I was honest and cowardly and didn't dare to resist, so I naturally became the target of the whole family's bullying.
Over the years, I have been a free babysitter for my in-laws' family. I won't say much else, let's just take the New Year!
I have been married to my husband for 27 years, not to mention every year, but I have spent at least 20 Spring Festivals in the kitchen. In the beginning, we lived in a rural hometown, very close, and it was convenient for my in-laws and husband's siblings to come to my house for dinner or ask me to come over to cook, and when they called me, if I was reluctant, my husband would yell at me, drag me over, and call me a shame.
Fifteen years ago, my husband couldn't farm anymore and decided to go out to work. Originally, he didn't take me with him, and wanted to leave me in his rural hometown to take care of a pair of children and serve his parents, but I had a big quarrel with him and insisted on going out. He had no choice but to agree.
After I went out, although I still had to revolve around him and his children on weekdays, I was very busy, but I was willing to pay for my children and didn't have to be angry. Only during the Chinese New Year, he has to go back for the New Year every year, even if he can't buy a train ticket, he has to try his best to contact the black car, and then the whole family goes back to the New Year together.
After returning to my mother-in-law's house, my in-laws, sister-in-law, and brother-in-law naturally left all the housework to me, and at that time, because I had no job and was worried that our marriage problems would affect my two children, I swallowed my anger and became a free nanny for decades.
Over the years, as the children have grown up, married others, and been admitted to college, with their cheering, my husband and I have turned against each other and know how to tell him no. When he loses his temper with me, his children will protect me and threaten him with pensions, and he will not dare to do this to me again.
Last year, he wanted to go back for the New Year, I refused, no matter how I compromised, so he cut first and then played, first took his in-laws to his home for the New Year, and then let the eldest brother, brother-in-law, and sister-in-law come to my house for the New Year.
We quarrel every day, and things fall to the ground, but I can't fight with them at all. In the end, I couldn't bear it anymore and filed for divorce, but he pretended to be deaf and dumb, and he didn't agree to anything, and tossed me enough.
My daughter-in-law told me, "Mom, if Dad does this again during the next holiday, you will compete with him." When he picks up his family, you can run away, go to my sister's house, go to ours, just don't let them succeed. ”
When my husband planned to cut first and then play like last year, I thought of my daughter-in-law's words and decided to do what my daughter-in-law taught. It just so happened that I hadn't been back to my parents' house for a long time, so I planned to go back to visit my mother.
My husband was very angry and sent dozens of messages, asking me to go back immediately, saying that if he didn't see me after work, it would be over.
I replied quickly: "Okay, after I arrive at my parents' house, I will write the divorce agreement and send it to you, if you have no opinion, we will call the children, go to the Civil Affairs Bureau as soon as possible to complete the formalities, and we will be fine in the future." ”
He didn't reply to me again, and I didn't bother to care about him. I thought about it, I'll go back to accompany my mother first, and then go to see the two children, and deal with the divorce during this period, anyway, I don't want such a husband anymore.
For me now, I have a pair of children who are filial piety, and I am already very happy, so why should I continue to delay for a selfish man.
END.
Today's topic: Do you have any good advice for Zhou Hong? Feel free to share your views in the comment area.