I would like to ask you a question, what is the best education?
After all, children have grown up with us since they were young, and they have learned the most from us, and their first three views are also brought to them by us.
That's why I think it's very important to teach by example, and it can even affect a child's life.
Therefore, in front of children, whether it is doing things or speaking, you should pay attention to one point, so that children can have a good role model.
And Yang Jiang believes that in words and deeds, there are three sentences that must not be said to children.
1. Why are you so useless
This sentence is the mantra of many parents, especially to their children, although there is no malice, just want to be angry, but this sentence is a big blow to the child.
Because "why are you so useless", this sentence denies his value and denies his efforts, which will have a great impact on the child's self-esteem, and over time he will lose his self-confidence.
Therefore, when parents want to say this sentence "why are you so useless", they should think carefully and stop verbally attacking their children.
Even if a child does not do well and does not meet the expectations of parents, as long as he has worked hard, we should praise him and let him work hard next time.
2. I'm all for your good
This phrase "I'm good for you" is also one of the common expressions used by parents, although the starting point is good, but it is not what the child really wants.
And over time, they will really think about what the child wants from their own point of view, and the result is that this thing or this thing is what the parents themselves want, not what the child really wants.
This will put a lot of pressure on the child, and he will make decisions for everything, which will make him lose the ability to think and make decisions independently.
As parents, we should respect our children's choices, and of course, if this choice really violates the bottom line, then we should stop it.
But if it is a normal choice, and the direction chosen is not what the parents expected, or even the opposite direction, then we might as well try to let go and let the child go on his own.
Although the results may not be the best, the process is certainly the most impressive and the experience gained by the child is also the most solid.
3. Look at others, and then look at you
Comparisons between children often occur, especially when parents take the initiative to compare.
Of course, the starting point is good, and I hope to arouse the child's comparison psychology and keep up with the good children.
But over time, the child will also become "numb", and appropriate contrast is a good thing, but if it becomes the norm, the child will also feel that it doesn't matter.
Since they are so good, I can't catch up, so I might as well put it badly.
At the same time, there are even some children who are more extreme, and will have hatred, hate the child who is better than him, and be extremely jealous.
Therefore, parents can make appropriate comparisons, but it is better to find out more about the advantages of the child, and you can compare it with himself.
For example, if he eats slower today, you can say: You ate faster yesterday and were very well-behaved, and today should be the same as yesterday.
For example, if he is very good at playing with blocks, then you can also say: Eating should be as good as you playing with blocks.
Through self-comparison, children will gradually discover their own shining points, and will become more positive and confident.
In the process of children's growth, in fact, it is not so complicated, as long as you are patient, careful, and usually teach by example, then the child can also grow up healthily.