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In the current trend of parenting, the phenomenon of chicken babies is becoming more and more intense, but children who can really grow up and have lasting stamina often have a special type of parents behind them. These parents not only focus on cultivating their children's self-motivation, but also know how to avoid nagging and not transmitting anxiety to their children, but also give their children independence and choice, allowing them to grow through trial and error.
1. Refuse nagging and protect your child's brain development
In the process of children's growth, nagging is often mistaken for a way to express love, but in fact, nagging is saying something without a sense of object, saying what you see and saying without any choice. Too much nagging can hurt the immature brain and destroy the child's internal drive.
Scientific studies have shown that the prefrontal cortex in the brain is closely related to self-control. Before the age of 14, the prefrontal cortex is particularly sensitive to stress and drops as soon as it is threatened. Excessive nagging can cause the brain to become Xi to avoiding stress, making children reluctant to accept challenges in school and life.
Therefore, this kind of parents know how to abandon nagging and give their children more autonomy. They understand that the side effects of nagging on children not only do not stimulate motivation, but may cause children to rebel. By creating a calm and gentle environment, these parents protect their children's brain development, allowing them to think more intently and develop self-motivation.
2. Don't pass anxiety on to your child and cultivate independent explorers
A philosopher once said, "Successful education is about minimizing the oppression of parents on children so that children can develop their talents." This is the core philosophy of the second type of parent. When faced with their own anxiety, this kind of parents do not transmit this anxiety to their children, but let them face the pressure of life by themselves and cultivate independent explorers by letting go.
Parental anxiety is sometimes reflected in excessive interference in the child's academics, interests, etc. In order for their children not to repeat their mistakes, some parents may overschedule their children's after-school time or force their children to choose what they think is the right interest. This not only deprives children of the opportunity to think independently, but can also lead to a loss of enthusiasm for learning Xi.
In contrast, this kind of parents know how to let their children face their own choices, so as to develop their children's problem-solving skills. They understand that life's difficulties and challenges are inevitable and that children need to learn to cope independently. In this way, children gradually develop the ability to face pressure in the process of growing up, are not easily swayed by external factors, and have stronger internal motivation.
3. Give children independence and choice, and let them grow through trial and error
Media person Zhou Yijun once said: "The roles of children and parents are always misplaced. This means that parents are often too eager to pass on their life experiences to their children, but ignore their children's right to experience and make decisions on their own. This third type of parent understands that giving children independence and agency is the key to developing self-motivation.
This type of parent does not interfere too much with the child's choices, but respects the child's wishes and gives them more autonomy in life. Whether it's choosing a school, an interest class, or a small matter in daily life, this kind of parent will give their children enough room to make decisions. In this way, children learn life lessons through trial and error, and gradually become independent.
This educational philosophy is similar to "sheep herding education", which allows children to face various challenges of life in advance through decentralization. This is not to make it smooth sailing for children, but to let them learn to sail in the wind and waves and develop the quality of tenacity.
Conclusion: The common characteristic of these three types of parents is the understanding that their children's growth requires a relatively free and relaxed environment. They develop their inner self-motivation by reducing nagging, not transmitting anxiety to their children, and giving them independence and agency. This educational philosophy helps children to maintain lasting academic Xi motivation and life motivation when they grow up, and become the most energetic group of people in society.
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