I don't know if any of you have encountered this situation!
When a child finishes something, we want to praise him, but we don't know where to start.
Coming and going is just a few words.
Sometimes it's really embarrassing to say it, because I feel a little perfunctory.
But I really don't know how to "praise" the child!
Later, when I saw Professor Li Meijin's parenting experience, it suddenly dawned on me that the child could still boast like this.
And according to her way, the child has really changed a lot.
So today I will introduce to you the method of "how to praise children", in fact, it is summed up in a formula, 8 sentences.
For example, if the child is very serious about his homework, then praise him directly: Wow, baby, I am very serious about my homework today, I am working hard, it is awesome, and I will tell my mother what homework you are writing well.
This kind of concrete praise can make the child feel that what he is trying to do is recognized by you, then he will get a great sense of accomplishment.
In the future, I will do this very seriously and very hard, and over time I will form the Xi of writing homework very seriously.
There is also the fact that the child has never done this, but he has the courage to try it today, so he must praise more, and it is best to praise him again in front of the child when the father gets off work.
For example, if the child helps with housework and cleaning today, then you can boast like this:
When Dad came back, he praised him again in front of the baby: Dad, do you know? Today, the baby helped me clean up, and he really grew up, so good, and he cleaned very cleanly.
After learning this formula, I changed my simple and rough way of complimenting, and sure enough, the child got a lot of change and was very positive in everything.
And you can see that the child is developing towards the way he wants.
If you really don't know how to praise your child, then you can memorize the following 8 sentences:
1. Mom didn't expect it, you actually thought of it, it's amazing.
2. Your smart eyes tell me that you have thought of a way to solve this problem.
3. Baby, I found that your smile is getting sweeter and sweeter, I like the way you laugh.
4. Only children who love to use their brains will have such wonderful answers/practices.
5. It must have been told to you by a good friend of the book, otherwise how would you know so much.
6. No matter what happens, Mom and Dad will be by your side and be with you.
7. This method is really good, let's try it together.
8. Your ideas are really powerful, can I make friends with you?
In fact, it is really important to praise children, and Stanford University once conducted a set of experiments on targeting.
At that time, a psychologist conducted a praise study on 20 schools with a total of 400 students.
Three of the experiments went like this:
The first round of experiments: they asked the children to complete some very simple puzzle tasks, and then divided the children into two groups and complimented them in different ways.
The first group of compliments is in the form of compliments about IQ, for example, you are very talented and smart in puzzles.
The second group of compliments is about hard work, for example, you must have worked hard just now to do so well.
Experiment 2: Let them choose whether to choose a difficult puzzle or an easy puzzle, and tell them that they can learn something new in the more difficult puzzle.
The effect of this round of experiments is obvious, 90% of the children who praised "hard work" chose the more difficult puzzle pieces, and most of the children who praised "smart" chose the easy puzzle pieces.
Obviously, those children who are praised as "smart" are already afraid of failure, they are afraid of making a fool of themselves, so they choose puzzle tasks with a relatively high success rate to maintain their image.
Then a third round of experiments began, this time with a very difficult puzzle task, and all the children participated together, and as a result, most of them failed.
But the children who were praised for their "hard work" quickly accepted the result, and some even offered to study how to complete the puzzle.
And those children who were praised for being "smart" reacted a little frustrated, and it seemed that this failure hit them hard.
In the end, the experiment came to a conclusion: for the good of children, we should praise their efforts more, rather than being empty and not really talented.