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I was born into an ordinary middle-class family, and my parents were ordinary clerks. I have been beautiful and lovely since I was a child, and I was deeply loved by my parents. When I was studying, my grades were always in the upper middle level, and my teachers and classmates liked me very much. Happy childhood time flashed by, and I successfully went to a 211 university to study Xi advertising design.
At the beginning of my freshman year, I got to know Xiao Zhang, the moderator of the campus forum introduced to me by my roommate, Xiaohong. Xiao Zhang wears a pair of black-framed glasses and looks quiet, very different from other hip-hop boys. We gradually got acquainted, and it turned out that Xiao Zhang's family background was also very ordinary, but he was diligent and studious, and he already had a part-time assistant job at a graduate school. I feel very comfortable with Xiao Zhang, and he will take care of my feelings carefully.
In my sophomore year, Xiao Zhang confessed, and we began to fall in love. Xiao Zhang's mother and aunt were very happy when they heard about it, and she took the initiative to ask to meet me. I dressed up beautifully and went to Xiao Zhang's house, and took out my lifelong ability to please parents. Maybe I'm lucky, my aunt actually likes me very much from an ordinary family. She smiled and said to Xiao Zhang: "Xiao Zhang, the most important thing is to find a reliable girl, and it is actually difficult to explain the family background and the like." The girl is so beautiful and virtuous, she is a rare good girl!" I was very happy to hear it, and I took the initiative to promise that I would take good care of Xiao Zhang in the future. The aunt also said that if you need anything in the future, just ask.
The four years of college passed quickly, and Xiao Zhang and I also graduated and stepped into the society. In order to get married, we worked hard and lived in a rented house in the community. After more than a year, I finally conceived my baby. I was a little weak during my pregnancy, and my aunt offered to take care of me when she found out about it. I originally excused myself and said that the company had a maternity leave system, but my aunt insisted on coming. In order to be filial to my in-laws, I had to agree.
After Xiaofang was born, my aunt was really attentive and came to visit us every day with delicious food. She also often brings a variety of nutrients for me to replenish my body. Xiao Zhang and I are very grateful to my aunt for taking care of her, and Xiao Zhang is even more emotional that she has found such a good mother. Like most of the older generation, Auntie has her own opinions on all kinds of things, including formula, but we can't dismiss her kindness anymore, so we can only let her go.
Three years later, with the help of my aunt, we finally saved up enough for a down payment and bought a two-bedroom house. I was so happy that I finally had my own little home! On the day of the opening, a neighborhood party was held in the community. I made a lot of delicious food and invited my neighbors to come and sit at our house. Everyone praised our house for being small and clean, and the decoration was very warm.
When my aunt saw that our new home was ugly, I quickly welcomed her into the house and thoughtfully poured her a cup of hot tea. The aunt didn't speak, and her face was still very stinky. Xiao Zhang also noticed his mother's abnormality and asked with concern, "Mom, what's wrong with you?"
Auntie snorted coldly: "What can be wrong with my body! I just see that the house you bought is too dilapidated and too small, and I can't get angry!"
Xiao Zhang and I looked at each other, this new house is already very good for our young couple, we can't afford to buy it as soon as we enter the society, right?
From that day on, Auntie was different from before. She always looked at us with disdain, as if we owed her something. It wasn't long before she was in our house and she was up to her. Xiao Zhang and I are physically and mentally exhausted, and we no longer have a peaceful birthday when we come home from work.
One day, Xiaofang came home from school and I found her clothes dirty. I was about to preach to her, but my aunt grabbed ahead of me, hugged Xiaofang in her arms and coaxed: "Fangfang is the most obedient! It doesn't matter if the clothes are dirty, you can just change them, or Fangfang is the cutest!" I was speechless, so I could only go and take Xiaofang to the room to change clothes.
"Auntie, what are you doing here?" I hurriedly stepped forward to pick up my desk and looked at the mess in distress.
"It's a mess here!" The aunt said confidently, "A bunch of useless things are piled up here, so that my family Fangfang has nowhere to play! I see, throw all these things away, and leave this room to Fangfang to play with herself, so that she will be happy!"
I was almost angry: "Auntie, you are in our house, how can you destroy Xiaofang's things at will? She is now the age when she needs to read, if she doesn't even have a desk and bookcase, what will she do in the future?"
My aunt and I got into a heated argument. At this time, Xiao Zhang went home and saw the mess on the ground, and his face was extremely ugly. I hurried to pull him, wanting him to talk and teach my aunt a lesson. Who knew that Xiao Zhang shook off my hand and said to me coldly: "It's all innocuous little things, why are you making such a fuss? Could it be that our family can afford to buy a new desk?"
I was dumbfounded, I didn't expect Xiao Zhang to protect his mother! My heart was like a knife, and Xiao Zhang also agreed with such an unreasonable matter, didn't our marriage come to an end?
From that day on, I was completely disappointed in Xiao Zhang, and our husband and wife had a cold war. I was busy working overtime every day and tried not to go home. But I'm also worried about Xiaofang's Xi problems. Finally, with the introduction of a colleague, I found a tutor, Anan.
Anan is a calm and humorous 35-year-old bachelor who is very patient and has a lively and playful teaching method. I asked Anan to come 3 times a week to help Xiaofang with her homework. Xiaofang and Anan get along well.
One day I was sitting on a garden bench in the community in a daze, and Anan happened to pass by and see me. He sat down beside me with concern, scanning my face.
"You've lost a lot of weight lately, have you encountered something unhappy?" He patted me on the shoulder.
I finally couldn't help but throw myself into Anan's arms and cry. I choked up and told him about the difficulties of my marriage and the difficulties of my in-laws.
I was speechless for a moment and looked at Anan in surprise. What does he mean?
Perhaps my expression had already shown the confusion and panic in my heart, and Anan hurriedly waved his hand and explained: "Oh, I didn't mean that! I mean that you should consider moving out and living by yourself, so that Xiao Zhang can reflect and reflect." ”
I breathed a sigh of relief, and joked with a smile: "Everyone is married and has children, you let me run away from home?"
"What's this?" Ah Nan asked me rhetorically, "Do you have to endure such angry grievances all the time? Xiao Zhang and his mother abuse you and Xiao Fang like this, no matter how patient you endure, the result will only get worse and worse!"
"Don't think about anyone else!" Anan waved his hand impatiently, "I see, it's best to move out and live for a while." You should also think about the prospects of your marriage with Xiao Zhang. ”
I was silent. I understand that Anan's advice is correct, but after all, this is my husband who has been married for 7 years and the father of my children. I can't make such a hasty decision to divorce, can I?
Just as I was hesitating, there was a loud bang in the neighborhood, followed by the sound of glass breaking. Anan and I looked at each other and hurried over to see what was happening. I saw that the chandelier above the big coffee table in my living room fell down, and the glass of the coffee table shattered to the ground!
I was stunned and hurriedly rummaged through Xiao Fang in the house. At this moment, Xiao Fangwa ran out of the bedroom with a bang, threw herself into my arms and cried.
I was furious, and I protected Xiaofang behind me and glared at my aunt who was swaying out at this time. I saw that she didn't care, and sneered at me: "It's just such a broken coffee table, what can be worth it? Now you should agree to give the living room to Fangfang to play, right?"
"You!!" I was so angry that I couldn't speak, so I picked up the glass shards of the coffee table on the floor and threw them at her. Auntie screamed and dodged. At this moment, Xiao Zhang ran in in a panic.
"What's going on, what's wrong with the coffee table?" Xiao Zhang looked around, and finally his eyes fell on the glass slag in my hand, and it exploded all of a sudden: "What did you do? You still want to kill my mother?!"
"Okay, you little Zhang!" I couldn't take it anymore, "Your mother let a 3-year-old play with matches!
"So what?" Xiao Zhang sneered, "I can't afford to raise her, is it possible to let her go to the street to beg?" She lives with us, and we have to take care of food and clothing, and now it's normal to break one or two things!"
"Normal?!" I broke down and shouted, "Have you asked Xiaofang and I about your mother and son's feelings? I have worked hard for so many years just to make a good life for our family of three." Now this house has been ruined by you, and our home is long gone!"
"Okay," Xiao Zhang said coldly, "Since the marriage was a matter for the two of us, now that the family is like this, the two of us will solve it." Fangfang: I will take on the responsibility of being a father, and you can leave at any time if you want to go. ”
I looked at the man in front of me who I had spent seven years with, and tears finally burst out of my eyes: "Okay, Zhang Qipeng, I'm not done with you!"
After that, I quit my job and went on my own. It is not easy to start a business from scratch, but I have a strong sense of ambition and strong support from Anan behind me. Within a few years, my fashion studio had become famous, and my life was gradually becoming more prosperous.
Xiaofang followed me, and her grades were always at the top. Classmates and colleagues all said that she would surpass me and become a great person when she grew up. Every time I think about this, I feel that I am the winner in life!
A few days ago, Anan and I confessed. He said that he had witnessed my growth over the years, and he had long seen through me as a person, and was deeply conquered by my wisdom and bravery. I laughed and quipped, "Just your abs and beer belly, you also deserve to say the word conquer?" The two of us laughed out loud with complete relief.
Just yesterday, I received a lawyer's letter from Xiao Zhang, saying that my aunt had passed away and wanted to reconsider his visitation rights. I sneered and threw the letter in the trash. My life is recovering and growing, and it has nothing to do with him, a failed man! I decided to completely break away from the past, so I resolutely signed Anan's prenuptial agreement and officially entered the palace of marriage with him.
After I got married, I transferred most of the management of the studio to my partners, and only made major decisions myself. After Xiaofang entered the rebellious period, I wanted to accompany her more. And Anan, who has always been calm and calm, was unexpectedly flustered in taking her daughter, and I could only act as a "fire extinguisher".
The dull days passed day by day, and in a blink of an eye, Xiaofang graduated from middle school. On that day, she brought back her graduation certificate with great vigor and happily told me: "Mom, I was not only admitted to the provincial key university in the college entrance examination, but also found my dream job!"
I hugged Anan excitedly. Xiaofang has grown up and began to have her own life trajectory. What kind of laughter will she encounter, what kind of pain and difficulties will she endure? As a mother, I can only watch from afar in the second half of my life.
And just like that, we spent another few years. Anan's beer belly is getting more and more noticeable, and my wrinkles are getting deeper and deeper. We who used to be passionate and unrestrained are now like a humorous old couple.
Early one morning, I received a strange phone call. The strange woman on the other end of the phone introduced herself, her name was Li Mei, and she was Xiao Zhang's wife after remarriage. She choked up and told me that Xiao Zhang had a brain tumor and only a few months left. Before dying, Xiao Zhang really wanted to see me and Xiaofang for the last time.
I hung up and sat alone for a long time. I decided to go and see Zhang first and hear what he had to say. If the time comes, maybe I'll consider taking Xiaofang to see him one last time. After all, he and Xiaofang are half related.
It was only when I arrived in the hospital ward that I truly understood the fragility and pain of life. Xiao Zhang was as thin as bones, and he couldn't say all the words, only an uncontrollable moan of pain. My heart ached, and I gently shook his hand.
I shook my head, a complicated expression on my face. The unhappiness of the past has long since disappeared with the wind, and Xiaofang and I are doing well now.
Before leaving, I hesitated and sat down in front of the hospital bed. I whispered to Zhang that I would consider taking Fang to see him one last time. After all, he also gave a lot of love.
Sure enough, Xiao Zhang's eyes lit up for a moment because of these words. He struggled to get up, but the tubes around his body were tied to him.
I left the room again, unable to calm down for a long time. Am I going to miss out on being a kind and generous person because of the resentment I had back then?How should I talk to Xiaofang?
I wiped away my tears and hugged my beloved daughter. I understand that this is not only for Xiao Zhang, but also to calm my heart.
Eventually, our mother and daughter went to the hospital to bid farewell to the dying Zhang. Before parting, Xiaofang hugged her biological father and gave him a blessed kiss. A long-awaited, happy smile appeared on Xiao Zhang's face.
This is life, there are clutches, joys and sorrows. I have to learn to forgive and be grateful, and cherish what is in front of me, don't I? Xiao Zhang finally didn't survive that winter. He walked peacefully, and before he died, I held his hand, and there was relief in his eyes.
That's the truth of life. It doesn't stay, or look back. I just had to learn to accept and move on.
So I took a back seat and gave full control of the business to my partner. After the business came up, I had more time to spend with my family. After the college entrance examination, Xiaofang has not decided the future for the time being, so she simply came to our company as a Xi student. She is responsible for copywriting and planning, helping me bring the voices of young people into the brand. Anan and I make her happy every day, and she enjoys it too.
Two years later, Xiaofang was admitted to graduate school in Beijing, and I couldn't help but shed tears the day I took her to the airport. Watching a child grow up and start a life of their own is both sweet and bitter. But it was much better than when I ran away from home with her alone, at least this time she left with a vision and anticipation for the future.
Life is like this, parting and meeting one by one. Later, Anan's parents also passed away one after another, and loneliness, birth, old age, sickness and death always reminded us that we should be reunited during the holidays. So Xiaofang would go home every winter and summer vacation, and a few of us would sit together and chat all night.
I asked Xiaofang about her future plans, and she said that she would look for a job in Beijing after graduation. I laughed at her for thinking too far ahead now, and she laughed too. Anan put down the newspaper in his hand, and suddenly said with a straight face: "However, if you really decide to develop in Beijing, remember to go home often to see us." ”
"Got it, Dad!" Xiao Fang stood up and kissed him loudly on the face, and we both laughed.
In the blink of an eye, Xiaofang also found her other half. Her boyfriend is tall, enthusiastic and energetic. The two of them stood together, and their affectionate looks almost coincided with those of the young us.
I joked that I wanted to check if this "young man" was sincere, and Anan put his arm around my shoulder and smiled silently. Xiao Fang covered her mouth and snickered, and her boyfriend looked helpless and amused me.
"Mom, don't cry!" Xiao Fang took the bouquet from the groom's hand, turned around and hugged me.
I wiped my tears and blessed them happily. Actually, I'm happy for Xiaofang, she has found someone she really loves, and that's what I want most.
After I got married, I retired at home, and occasionally went back to the company to sit and sit just out of affection. Most of the time, I spent most of my time in the garden of the community and met a lot of silver-haired friends. They came and went, each with their own story, and I was filled with emotion after listening to it. I would also talk to them about my experience, but I didn't expect them to praise me for my enthusiasm for life and being a model for them to learn Xi.
I visit Xiaofang and her husband from time to time, and they have a baby this year. I teased my little granddaughter, her eyes piercing those of the young Xiaofang.
The circle really turned back to the original point, I think this is about the most beautiful arrangement in life, right? I accompanied Xiaofang and her family through a few more springs and autumns. Seeing my little granddaughter grow up like a child, Anan and I are also getting old. The fly in the ointment is that Anan's health is deteriorating, and I can only watch him change from a high-spirited middle-aged man to an old man lying on the hospital bed dying.
The needlework in my hand fell to the ground: "What do you regret?"
I hurriedly shook Anan's hand: "What are you thinking about, you big fool! If you hadn't taken me in and gave me the courage to be reborn, I wouldn't have the success and happiness I have now." What's more, will I regret choosing you? You are the most precious person in my life!"
In this way, Anan still didn't survive that winter. Xiaofang offered to pick me up and go to Beijing to live with her, and I readily agreed. After all, it's too lonely to live alone, and I want to spend more time with my granddaughter.
After coming to Beijing, I lived a very fulfilling life. Xiaofang and her son-in-law are usually very busy and are rarely at home. Fortunately, I have an attentive granddaughter who comes to talk to me after school. I also often take her to the supermarket to buy groceries and cook, and teach her all kinds of household chores. I don't know if it's a blood relationship, but her eyes are always so kind and warm when she looks at me, which is a little similar to Xiaofang when she was a child. It makes me obsessed with memories of the good old days.
One day, my sister called me out of the blue, her voice sounded muffled, and somehow, my heart tightened.
Life is made up of some small beings that we have not noticed, but that support us to go on. They pass by in a hurry, silently, but they make the best part of life.
So I started blogging again. I wrote about my life's journey, my family, my neighbors, the days and nights we walked together. I also wrote about all the beautiful and trivial memories in my heart, which may contain the emotions and warmth of this era.
Maybe I can't predict what the future holds, just as I don't know how many tomorrows I have left in my life. However, as long as we still have curiosity, longing and dreams, the river of life will flow endlessly, maybe there will be disappointment and pain in the process, but more than that, it is the joy from the unknown and hope, right?