Some people say that life is like an exam, full of all kinds of problems.
You want to find a reference answer, but you can often only get disappointing "omitted".
How to have a job that doesn't get tired with a lot of money?
"Abbreviation".
How to heal the wounds of the original family?
"Abbreviation".
How to have a happy marriage?
"Abbreviation".
How to fight the difficulties of survival, the passage of time, and the confusion of self?
It is also "omitted".
When it comes to life, we are full of question marks and don't know how to answer them.
However, Mr. Jin Weichun, who is known as the "No. 1 talent" in Taiwan's media industry, said: There will always be an answer in life.
In order to solve the mysteries of life, he and his two daughters had a "parent-child dialogue" through 60 letters to his family.
After some heart-to-heart reassurance, Jin Weichun used his lifelong experience to guide the younger generations.
Not only that, but he also generously made these "private messages" public and published a book "There Will Always Be an Answer in Life".
If you feel that your work is too difficult, your life is too bad, and your life is too bad at the moment.
You might as well flip through this book and see Mr. Jin Weichun's brilliant answer.
1
About the Family:
How do you get rid of the curse of your family of origin?
In the book, Jin Weichun first made public the "denunciation letter" of his eldest daughter Qianling.
Jin Weichun had a failed marriage, and Qianling was the "victim" of this marriage.
She lives with her mother all the year round and rarely feels the warmth of her father's love.
She decided that her birth was a mistake, that she did not deserve to be loved, and that she did not deserve happiness.
Hearing his daughter say this, Jin Weichun felt guilty, first apologized to his daughters, and then talked about his own unhappy childhood.
He was a widow who lost his father before he was born, and his mother had little time to spend with him in order to earn money to support the family.
In his memory, there was never a pitiful amount of love, more of an indissolvable loneliness and a nowhere to vent his anguish.
However, even so, it still does not prevent him from growing up and bobbing a wonderful life for himself.
He studied hard and worked hard to make money, so that he didn't have time to chew on the past;
He actively socializes, looks for confidants, and seeks emotional nourishment from the outside world;
He experienced life to the fullest, passionately pursued his ideals, and finally lived the life he wanted.
He said to his daughter: No matter what we experienced in childhood, when we grow up, we are fully capable of blocking "family karma".
This kind of karma may be the pain of birth, the injury inflicted by parents, or the suffering of birth.
It's true that we can't choose where we come from, we can't determine the path of growth, but we can choose how we want to live when we grow up.
Suffering as a child does not mean that we will not be able to turn over for the rest of our lives, and the grievances and regrets we have in the past are not enough to shake the whole life.
Let go of the past, let go of the pain, empower yourself, and re-nurture yourself.
Perhaps, an unhappy childhood is an inextricable curse. But the secret to unraveling the spell is in your hands.
You yourself are the master of your destiny, and we have a responsibility and a responsibility to make ourselves happy.
2
About the job:
I don't dare to lie flat, and I can't roll it, what should I do?
The most talked about in the dialogue in the book is the confusion in the workplace.
The eldest daughter, Qianling, encountered a bottleneck on the way to learn art, and the second daughter, Mo Lan, found that there was an insurmountable gap between ideals and reality.
Like you and me, when we first entered society, we all faced similar problems.
Can't open up a career situation, can't excel, difficult interpersonal relationships, and can't get a promotion and salary increase no matter how hard you work......
We often have more than enough heart but not enough strength, we can't move others, and we don't dare to lie down.
I know that it is very important to make money, but I just can't find the right way, and as soon as I lie flat and rot, the whip of life will be struck.
In the end, everyone lived like a donkey, not daring to stop, not daring to rest, panting all day long.
In fact, Jin Weichun empathizes with this dilemma.
Back then, he also had a very difficult time in his career.
At the age of 28, he became a columnist for the China Times, a chief writer at the age of 29, and founded the Americas branch at the age of 30.
But when he was complacent and founded "Business Week" independently, he encountered a tragic Waterloo.
For six consecutive years, the magazine has suffered serious losses, and Jin Weichun has become a complete joke in the industry.
He wanted to give up, but the livelihood of his family and the future of his subordinates forced him to persevere.
He hesitated for a long time, and also reflected for a long time, planning to start from scratch and do his part well.
He patiently communicates with readers, listens to the advice of his peers, does every interview, and writes every report......
Half a year later, Business Week turned a profit, and by the end of the year, it became the best-selling journal in Taiwan.
In the book, in response to the dilemma in the workplace, Jin Weichun provides a way - "do things in".
This is what we often refer to as "separation of personnel".
You don't have to involve others, and you don't have to pay too much attention to the outside world, focus your energy on yourself, and do the little things at hand well.
Let yourself make a breakthrough every day, go to a new level every year, and constantly evolve and update your skills.
When you get better day by day, step by step, life will naturally give you the answer.
3
About Marriage:
What should I do if I can't leave if I don't have a good time?
In the book, the daughters also boldly ask for some privacy topics.
Regarding marriage, they found that everyone complained more and less sweet.
Some people cry that the shelf life of love is too short, some people are tired of the chickens and dogs after marriage, and some people feel hopeless because of their partner's indifference.
And the temptation of the outside world always contrasts the family life with boring and boring.
Everyone wants to escape countless times, but it is often difficult to get out because of the children's bonds.
In the tearing that is not good and can't leave, people who are married seem to be resentful and regret wading into the troubled waters of marriage.
He even wondered: Is it really necessary for people to get married?
Jin Weichun did not rush to persuade, but told an interesting story about his friend.
My friend's marriage was fine, but because of a pair of "stinky socks", my wife almost broke up.
He has a Xi of taking off his smelly socks and throwing them away as soon as he comes home every day.
The wife who loves cleanliness really can't get used to it, so she repeatedly reminds him to get rid of this problem.
It's a pity that my friend not only taught me repeatedly, but also often lost his temper and said:
"I'm working hard, you're home full-time, what's wrong with helping me collect my socks?"
Hearing him say this, his wife did not show weakness and began to talk about her grievances and hardships.
Over time, there were more and more such quarrels, and the relationship between the two became worse and worse.
Jin Weichun said that their problem seems to be due to the trivial matter of "stinky socks", but behind it is the lack of understanding and consideration between husband and wife.
Marriage can't go with feelings, it needs to be managed by everyone's heart.
Perceive the other party's situation, understand the other party's choice, don't shirk responsibility when encountering problems, and reflect on yourself first when there are contradictions.
Only in this way can we pass the test and reap the rest of our lives of happiness and happiness.
Later, this friend, at the suggestion of Jin Weichun, decided to change.
Not only did he no longer lose his stinky socks, but he was also able to do some housework, which greatly eased his wife's work.
And the wife also understands that her husband is not angry with herself on purpose, and she is more caring and tolerant of her husband.
Marriage is not a competition, and family is not a battlefield.
If you are critical and blaming everything, your life will only become more and more decaying, and only by knowing how to be grateful and considerate can your life flourish.
The best state of marriage is not to stick together forever, but to be able to shake hands and make peace after fighting wits and courage.
Before marriage, be calm, understand more and observe more, and after marriage, be optimistic, communicate more and be more responsible.
When you and your partner form a close comrade-in-arms, you will not be trapped by the siege of marriage.
4
About the time:
Why does it feel like it's too late?
In the communication with his daughter, the author also discovered a major illness of the younger generations - "Time Like an Arrow Syndrome".
It's not just the daughters who repeatedly mention age anxiety in their letters.
Even in the interaction with readers, the author is asked the most: How do we control time?
My peers are looking for jobs, but I'm still in graduate school, and I feel like I'll be 35 years old in the workplace as soon as I graduate.
Seeing that she is thirty years old, she has no object, no children, and she is labeled as an older leftover girl, and she has become an alternative in the family.
After working for more than ten years, all those younger than me have been promoted, and I am still mixed at the bottom, and I am afraid that I will never come out again.
I'm about to retire, I haven't done anything I want to do in this life, and I'm going to take care of my children for the next generation......
It seems that people of all ages are panicking about the passage of time.
But Jin Weichun said: "What are you anxious about? Doesn't all things take root and sprout on time?"
Writer Sanmao also said that people and things in the world, coming and going, have their time.
From birth, growth, maturity, and aging, we are all predetermined points on the timeline.
As long as you move forward slowly, what should come will always come, and what should not come will be useless.
There is no such thing as a "deadline" in life.
Be calm, go with the flow, and take your time, so that we can become friends of time.
There is a very good sentence in the book: when we measure time, we can't use "enough", we must use "not there".
Settle your moment, focus on your eyes, stabilize your rhythm, and life will naturally be calm and calm.
Don't panic and be restless, step on your own pace, and people will definitely be able to go where they need to go.
5
About the self:
What should I do if I feel like a failure?
When reading the book, the experience of my second daughter Mo Lan touched me deeply.
When she was four years old, she followed her father up a mountain, and when she came to a steep slope, her father suddenly said:
"Do you have the courage to run down? Let me see if you're good?"
Although she was stunned, in order to prove herself, the little girl still rushed down like a fierce child.
As a result, he broke his face all of a sudden, and blood gushed out like a fountain, so frightened that everyone hurried to save it.
The family rushed to the hospital, and with the help of doctors, the bleeding was quickly stopped.
However, when the wound healed, everyone found that Mo Lan had a very ugly scar left on his face.
The affair was far from over, and the shadow of this failure haunted her for more than a decade.
She blames herself for being "not good enough" and doesn't seem to be able to become a successful person in the eyes of the world.
No matter how hard you work when you study, you can only go to middle school, and no matter how hard you work after graduation, you can't get ahead.
Compared to her father's achievements, she only felt mediocre, clumsy, disgraced, and extremely defeated.
Hearing her daughter depreciate herself so much, Jin Weichun had mixed feelings in her heart.
If this was before, he must have a large number of daughters who were decadent, and stimulated her to continue to fight in various ways.
But now, after more than 50 years of hard work, he has long seen the true face of life: there is no success or failure in life.
Jin Weichun has discovered a "strange phenomenon" in recent years, which is exactly the same as her daughter's situation.
Everyone strives to be the best in reading, performs positively, and strives to be a good child in the eyes of the elders;
After entering the society, you are required to either enter a good unit or do a career;
When he was in his thirties and forties, he warned himself that he had to make a lot of money......
We try to live desperately under the requirements of the worldly model of success, but what is the result?
It's not just ordinary, you can't walk the path of destiny, and you can't transform into another type of person.
So, is there really only one way to go in life?
Thoreau once said: There are as many paths of life as there are radii that can be drawn from the center of the circle.
Just as a circle has an infinite number of radii, there should be a million choices in life.
It is a choice to allow yourself to be powerless and live according to your fate;
Accepting your own mediocrity and living a trivial life is also a choice.
You don't have to pursue the so-called success, being yourself is the greatest success.
6
About Life:
What is the meaning of being alive?
Under the persuasion of her father, the daughter was relieved a lot of her mediocrity.
But soon, they asked: What is the meaning of living like this?
Is it just to eat, sleep, reproduce, and then hide like a grain of sand in the dust?
Now, the author is stumped.
After thinking about it, he decided to tell a little story to the children.
One believer, on his way to Mecca, came across an ant.
Watching the ant move slowly, he couldn't help laughing: At your speed, I'm afraid you won't be able to reach the Holy City even if you die.
However, the ant said: The holy city is not far away, it is at the foot of the foot, and every step I take is a pilgrimage.
Immediately afterwards, Jin Weichun asked her daughter:
"I left home at the age of 15 to study, got married and had children at the age of 20, had a successful career at the age of 30, resigned at the age of 50 and went to the sea, lectured around at the age of 60, and now I am 70 years old, I like to read books and drink tea, so what is the meaning of my life?"
Did you make money? Did you gain fame? Or did you win the battle of fate?
Neither.
The meaning of my life, like that pilgrimage ant, is precisely this incisive experience.
As Yu Hua said, the purpose of life is nothing else, but life itself.
When I was young, I felt the collision between dreams and reality, and ran on the wilderness of life;
In middle age, he withstood the pressure from all sides and struggled in the torrent of life;
In his later years, he walked inward and returned to calm in the undercurrent of life.
Life is a trip, and it is worth the trip after seeing the flowers along the coast, wading through the river under your feet, and blowing the wind of the four seasons.
To experience, to feel, to experience, not to waste every second, not to waste every day, this is the meaning of life.
▽
A veteran book reviewer said:
After reading "Life Always Has Answers", I choked up several times, and after so many years of difficulty, I was suddenly empathized, and I myself was rescued because of this.
As ordinary people, since you and I were born, the road of life is destined to be difficult.
The trauma of childhood, the confusion of growing up, and the hardships of adulthood...... Whichever one is singled out, it's a hurdle.
We are embarrassed everywhere and are always made difficult, but after surviving one difficulty after another, have we also discovered that no matter how difficult the problem in life is, there is always an answer.
The wounds of the past will heal, the current difficulties will pass, and the uncertainty of the future will not do anything to people.
We don't have to be successful, we don't have to search for the meaning of life, and we don't have to compete with ourselves in the rush of time.
As the author says in the book:
When faced with unavoidable life issues, we must experience them completely. After that, life is a matter of course.
Give it a thumbs up, and don't be afraid of any problems for the rest of your life, because the answer is yours.
Author: Insight Jin Shanyue